


is it gravity (or are we fallin' in love?)

by coffeeshib



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/F, Friends With Benefits, Pining, Slow Burn, some bit of making out & sex yea, they’re just trying rly hard not to date
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2019-11-24 19:57:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 86,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18169391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeshib/pseuds/coffeeshib
Summary: Kara isn’t dating. Lena isn’t dating. Kara and Lena try not dating each other. Even if the lines start to blur a little. Even if they do the most girlfriend things.They won’t date.They won’t.Or: Everyone is convinced that they’re dating. Kara drunkenly makes out with her best friend one day. Lena doesn’t make a big deal out of it. So why should Kara?





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

Kara refuses to be held fully accountable for this. In her defense, it’s not her fault that Lena Luthor is the way she is. Lena Luthor, who on a regular basis bring old, balding overconfident men down to tears and fruitful apologies. Lena Luthor, who cries when watching old Disney and Pixar films while eating Ben & Jerry’s. Lena Luthor, who has a personal wicked rampant agenda, attempting to lure Kara into kale whenever possible.

And with Lena being Lena, Kara can’t purely be faulted for finding her best friend just down-right attractive. She simply appreciates beauty and genuine human (or alien-to-human in her case) connection when she sees it. And it’s not such a bad thing to find your best friend attractive so much that you want to kiss her. If it goes against the Rules & Guidelines on HowToBestFriends101, then she must’ve missed it in the book.

Correction: she chooses to disregard the book. Screw the non-existent book.

(But really, she just tries not to think about it.

Too much.)

 

It starts like this:

Kara orders a venti-sized iced caramel frappe in Starbucks on a Friday late afternoon. Behind her, she can feel Alex just _eye-rolling_ by the queue line _,_ judging her and burning two holes in her back. So what if she’s a basic Starbucks chick. She just happens to love the good ol’ caramel frappe the most in the menu (“You just lack taste, Alex.”).

Kara won’t hide it. She loves this drink, would drink it everyday if she could. But unfortunately it’s a $5 drink and she falls poor victim to the addicting clutches of sugary overpriced coffee. So she pretty much considers it a luxury drink. So, when it’s a good day, naturally, she has to treat herself. Though she spends way too much money enough on food already, she takes self-care very seriously.

And Kara decides it’s a good day (or has been so far) because she had woken up in the morning feeling refreshed and well-rested despite the exhausting Supergirl duties she had yesterday and finishing up all her deadlines _just_ in time right after that.

It’s a good day because before she had headed out for work, she'd been stopped by her favourite friendly old neighbour who gave her two boxes full of Krispy Kreme doughnuts (“This is for looking after my cat while I was away, Kara.”) and of course Kara took it, accepting her gratitude because who is she to refuse food and genuine appreciation?

It’s a good day because she’d been attacked by two (2) overexcited leashed corgis in the elevator whilst the owner blushed and apologized profusely. But Kara had only grinned, snapped pictures on her phone of the two corgis splooting on the floor _,_ had snapped like how James took his camera shots— all professional and serious (“Snapping pictures is serious business, Kara, pictures deliver messages and feelings. It’s Art.”). The photos get sent to Lena and Kara got a: _Cute, cute._ Then: _Dork._

And lastly, it’s a good day because Snapper didn’t shout at her at all. Today he _tolerated_ her and low-key praised her last-minute miracle articles and that’s a big win from Kara’s book.

And this all leads to Kara treating herself to overpriced coffee.

But of course, nothing can escape from the grasp of Murphy’s Law. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But hey, Kara tries. Always.

So just before game slash movie night happens, Kara gets held up by three drunk rogue aliens, causing ruckus at a bar, rumbling about “ _world domination_ ” (with air quotes), and Kara stops them before it really escalates, placing all three of them in the govt. watch-list. Then a bush-fire occurs far out in a rural area and Kara flies there, successfully getting in control of the situation. When she gets back to National City and lands on her local alley, she switches back to her civilian clothes, looking all normal except the bits of ash sticking to her skin and hair. Before she even gets to think about buying new stocks of Tom & Jerry’s tubs, it starts to rain.

Like, really, really, rain.

Kara wants to bang her head on this street light but decides not to. She really wants to. But she’d rather not deal with the implication of all the passerbies witnessing a random woman knocking down a huge, long street light with her mere forehead.

By the time she gets to the entrance of her apartment door, she’s drenched, soaking wet from head to toe with her glasses all fogged up and wet.

Alex answers the door and Kara is immediately greeted with a snort and an amused grin from her sister.

“Looking good, kiddo,” Alex remarks and opens the door wider, gesturing for her to get in.

Kara only grumbles, pouting. “I got held up, sorry I’m late.”

Everyone is already here and the smell of quality food (potstickers, pizzas, doughnuts, and overall meat) fills her nose. So maybe her mood improves by 40%.

(Who is she kidding. 90% more like.

She’s shallow like that when it comes to food.)

“Kara!” comes the familiar, soft voice, and Kara can’t help the huge crooked smile that breaks out in her face. And within seconds, Lena is already standing in front of her with furrowed brows, looking a touch concerned. “Wow, aren’t you wet. I’d hug you, but,” she gestures to Kara, smirking.

“Then hug the wet,” Kara cheekily grins before attack-hugging Lena (a half-hug only though, so Lena doesn’t kill her) and Lena immediately jerks away, hands coming up to her defenses. “Be the wet!”

“God, Kara, _no_ ,” Lena chuckles, grimacing, and she steps away with her hands crossed and with a flirtatious smirk. “There are plenty of ways to get me wet. But not like this.”

A collection of groaning is heard from the background and Kara just grins. “Maybe later.”

“Disgusting, just get a room already,” Winn fake-pukes, shuffling a deck of cards. The others chime in in agreement and Kara doesn’t miss the small _it’s too early for this_ from Nia.

“Again, maybe later," Kara shrugs, and this earns her a lovely laugh from Lena. “I’m off to shower and change, guys. So, slow down on the food munching, Grandmaster Food Demolisher finally on board!”

 

It's interesting, really. She had never meant for this _thing_ with Lena to grow this big, but it just started happening more and more recently. The playful bantering, flirting, suggestive innuendos— surprisingly (or unsurprisingly) it all comes easy between them. But it wasn’t like this before, no. The main reason this new _thing_ developed between them were due to their nosy friends. At first, it started with innocent questions and observations (“Lena asked you to accompany her to the gala?”), (“You hang with the Luthor often, Kara.”), (“Did Lena Luthor just sleep in your couch?) and then to the nosy questions (“Are you sure you guys aren’t girlfriends?”), (“Are you girlfriends yet?”) (“No? Then the universe must really do a great job maintaining balance and order— you two together are the epitome of a power couple.”).

Truth be told, she was extremely bothered by it at first. Denied such claims vehemently. Lena Luthor is her best friend, for Rao’s sake. The thought of her dating Lena sends her in a spiral of fluttering mess and she is in no way worthy of her. _Too good for the world,_ Kara thinks, and she hates that not many see Lena for who and how she really is, with or without the CEO mask.

 _Why not just go with the flow and love the ride_ , Brainy had told her one day when he found her sulking at the DEO training rooms after Alex gave her an intense ten minute interrogation about Lena on how she spotted Kara sharing her food with Lena the other day (“You were sharing your food with her, Kara, this is serious business.”).

 _Why not just go with the flow and love the ride._ So Kara did. And before she knew it, she started going along with it. This whole thing never seemed to bother Lena that much and quite frankly, Kara wished she could be a little like Lena and not care so much about the swimming opinions about her. Then as time went on, to counter her friends’ teasing, she’d just learned to go along with it and went full-force. Lena had been quick to go along with it the first time. And the second time. And the third. Then suddenly it just kept happening, but it’s mostly only when they’re provoked. Watching their friends’ faces fall, groaning in disgust as they flirted shamelessly and hung out together (much more than they should) pleasures Kara immensely. Because honestly, it’s funny and she loves a good laugh (especially when it makes Lena laugh, too.). She can’t always be the butt of the joke.

So they continue and do what they do best:

Being Kara and Lena, and being Kara and Lena when together.

 

When Kara steps into the living room, all clean and fresh, her eyes zero in on the food. She digs in ruthlessly and by the time she’s close to being satisfied with enough fill in her stomach, she’s interrupted.

“Kara, will you hurry up and join us already, please,” Alex grumbles, and she’s sat on the sofa next to Kelly with a huge bowl of popcorn by her lap. Kara blinks. She wants in on that bowl. “Your girlfriend’s been all pouty and lonely. Seriously, look at her. It’s gross.”

Kara ignores the girlfriend remark. She looks at Lena, who holds a glass of wine and sat in a lazy-cozy way on the couch with her legs tucked in, wearing the simplest sweater and baggy pants. Somehow despite such a normal and comfortable appearance, she still ends up looking _expensive_. Her face is half-hidden behind the rim of her wine glass as she takes a sip. Kara can see the hues of red on the tip of her ears. And then Kara’s gaze falls to the popcorn bowl. Easily persuaded by the two options, she comes.

(Yeah, she’s shallow like that.)

After arguing and debating what movie to watch for a full five minutes, they finally reach a verdict. Logging into Alex’s netflix account and choosing account: Parasite Number 2, she clicks on Bird box.

If anyone says anything when Kara slots herself besides Lena, all easy and familiar and perfect, Kara ignores it.

If anyone notices anything when she feels Lena’s hand on her thigh during most of the movie, Kara doesn’t say anything.

And if anyone makes a remark about Kara keeping Lena close almost to the point of invading her personal space, it’s easily lost because Kara is just simply a cuddly person in nature.

“Okay, that movie was sick,” Nia whistles, and Kelly clucks her tongue in agreement.

“Agreed, the ending was so cool! But like… I still can’t get over the children’s names. Boy? And Girl? Seriously?” Winn huffs, shakes his head, “who even names their children that.”

“They did get a proper name in the end, though,” Kelly says. “Was getting worried they’d be called Boy and Girl for the rest of their lives.”

Kara feels and hears the low throaty chuckle beside her, and she gulps.

“Getting blindfolded, though? I can’t imagine walking around blindfolded outside,” Alex utters, wrapping an arm around Kelly’s shoulder, face featuring a scowl. Then her face twists into a grimace when she looks at Kara. “Although if miss clumsy were to be blindfolded, she’d go around knocking and tearing up all the hard things in the city combined.”

Kara pouts. “Hey, I’m not that clumsy!”

“You are actually quite the clumsy person, Kara, no matter how much you like to deny it,” Lena tells her, giving her a slight jab in the abdomen. Alex sticks her tongue out at Kara from the support. “But at least you're clumsy-cute,” Lena winks. Then Alex's jaw drops, narrows her eyes in betrayal.

“Still clumsy nevertheless.” Kara bites the insides of her cheeks. 

When everyone starts cleaning up all the rubbish and empty alcohol bottles in the living room, Kara goes to the kitchen to place the dirty bowls on the sink. Moments later, Winn comes up beside her, gives her a slight nudge on the shoulder.

“So when are you two finally going to get it together,” Winn eyes at her as he helps her with the dishes. “Like, together _together._ ”

“Winn,” she sighs. “Buddy. My buddy. No,” she flatly says.

He shoots her an incredulous look.

“Come on, Kara. No matter how much you two dance around each other just to annoy us, I have eyes. I mean, anyone with eyes can see it. God, you really don’t see it?” he huffs, unimpressed when Kara shoots him a blank look. “How you guys look like from another’s perspective. How _she_ looks at you. Seriously, you two should just date already.”

“ _Winn,_ ” she stresses, and tries not to look the slightest affected from his words. “For the nth time, we aren’t like that. Also, I have eyes too and I see things just perfect.”

“I disagree. I mean, you have x-ray vision too, but it’s not like your x-ray vision can see truth, or whatever,” Winn shrugs.

“I don’t know why you’re so convinced that there’s something between me and Lena other than a normal basic friendship.”

Winn groans. Like he's in actual pain. And then a moment later he gasps loudly, eyes wide. “Oh, man! You’re like that woman who recently got diagnosed for not being able to hear voices from men! Except you’re the eye version and you can’t see truth.”

Kara should be used to this. The constant pushes and reminders. Still, no matter how tired the topic is, she still flushes at it. Lena Luthor. Her best friend. Dating her. Kara starts to worry for Winn; he's never been this delusional.

“Stop teasing her, Winn.” Lena slips into the kitchen with two dirty plates. Kara keeps her eyes trained to the sink. “Or else we’ll start to make out right in front of you. And maybe finally get you to puke for real.”

Kara almost breaks a plate. Tries her very best not to go beet-red. Sure, they let out suggestive comments here and there every now and then. But Kara isn’t always prepared and will always feel affected because it’s _Lena_. When Kara looks at her left, she sees Lena already looking at her, expression playful yet unreadable. But there’s a slight tug in the corner of her lips.

“Yeah, Winn,” she clears her throat, and finishes washing the last plate. Winn’s eyes bulges and he looks like he’s about to blanch at the thought. “Are you thinking about it, Winn?” Seeing the poor look in his face right now gives Kara a chance to turn things around. “Maybe we _should_ make out, Lena,” she says simply, shrugging. Lena smiles slyly, takes steps closer to Kara and shoots Winn a strong threatening _don’t-test-us_ look.

Oh, the power of the arch of her eyebrow.

“Okay, okay!” he steps back in haste, almost tripping, and shakes his head like he’s having none of this right now, “Jesus, fuck, nope. Not thinking it. Definitely not here to see it. God, I can't — I'm going. I’m going to have nightmares.” He stomps cutely out of the kitchen like a child who doesn’t want his veggies, a little red on the face, huffing.

Kara grins at Lena. Lena grins back, and soon they break into laughter and manage the best high-five they’ve ever had.

 

Everyone’s left her apartment except Lena after half an hour. At this point she’s not surprised anymore, and doesn’t stop for a moment to think about the why’s. Sometimes Lena stays in a little longer. Sometimes in for the night. This is just one of those nights. And they’d just watch another movie together, play a game, or talk and just talk.

“I’m sorry if that was a little too much,” Lena says, joining her by the couch after bidding Alex and Kelly goodnight by the door, “— before, I mean.”

Kara blinks.

“You weren't,” she assures, picking up a bottle from the table. She reads the label of the bottle. “Not at all. You know you’re real smooth, you know? You keep me on my toes. And you know how to shut people up. His face was so priceless, Rao I wish I could’ve snapped a picture of it.” Kara can’t help but break into a chuckle recalling his face.

Lena just looks at her and Kara sees the tipsy haze behind her eyes with her cheeks and ears tinting red and pink. Kara pushes a thought away. Puts it in an itty box.

“I know things have been a little different recently between us,” Lena says a moment later, and she, too, picks up one of the remaining filled glasses on the table. “But we've never talked about it, you know? I just want you to tell me if it ever gets too much. Or if I should stop. I would never do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable.”

Lena’s biting her lip, looking so sincere when she says it. Kara tilts her head to the side. It kind of confuses Kara, but she just shrugs.

“It’s the same for me too. Vice-versa, Lena,” she reassures, grinning. They remain sitting on the couch in silence for a minute until Lena breaks it.

“What bottle is that?” she scoots closer to Kara, trying to read the writing on the bottle.

“It’s new,” Kara tells her, and easily flicks the lid off with her thumb. “Humans can take this too, but not too much though. It’s really, _really_ strong.”

“Interesting.” Lena stares at the bottle in thought. “Well then. You up for a little more drinking? I’m already a bit tipsy, but we can finish the remaining few bottles here. If you want.”

“Sure,” Kara shrugs. “You’re staying in for the night, then?”

“If that’s okay.”

“Of course it is,” Kara grins. “Now, are you up for a little alcohol tasting? I promise this one’s safe, you just have to be careful of your consumption or you’ll easily black-out drunk.” She looks up in thought for a moment. A wasted drunk Lena. She’s never seen that. The woman holds her alcohol far too well.

Kara takes a good swig from the bottle straight and then gestures for Lena to try and taste. The raven-haired woman looks skeptical for a moment before giving in. She brings it to her mouth and chugs once. Lena almost gags, almost coughs.

She took it like a champ. Kara’s impressed.

“God, that _is_ strong,” Lena winces, and quickly she takes a full swig of her own bottle, drinks like it’s a chaser. Kara just laughs at her fondly.

By the time they’ve finished the remains, Kara’s pretty tipsy. Not drunk, but tipsy. And Lena looks like she’s fairing no better. For the past hour, all they’ve been doing is talking about the nothings and everythings. It’s pretty normal in Kara’s _Kara and Lena drunk talks_ book.

“That’s disgusting, Lena,” Kara wrinkles her nose. She can’t feel her nose. “Kale flavoured soju? I’m truly appalled. I am,” she giggles, leaning herself to Lena’s side— shoulder, arm, and thigh touching. Lena feels so nice and smells so good. Again, Kara’s naturally a cuddly person. She can’t be blamed.

“It’s really not,” the younger woman retorts and she looks dead-set about this, “I would really try it. Honestly? It should be made a thing. Brought into existence.”

Lena looks so serious, like she’s about to really order it into existence knowing she’s a text or phone call away from her contacts. Kara knows Lena really could if she wanted. But instead of thinking about the Abomination Drink, she finds herself staring at Lena. Whose face might be a little too close to her own right now. Face etched with a lovely, dopey smile with her twinkling emerald-green eyes and cheeks flushed lightly.

Something about her right now in this moment makes Kara want to kiss her. Well maybe she has thoughts sometimes. It’s nothing new— Kara never usually allows herself to linger about it. Always forces it to the deepest part of her mind whenever it comes up.

Alex and the gang and especially Winn would probably tease her endlessly if they knew, but she’d never ever admit that out loud. Ever. She’d rather drink Lena’s Abomination Drink before that happens.

So what if Kara thinks about kissing her insanely hot best friend sometimes. Every now and then.

So what.

When Lena’s facial features soften, Kara blinks out from the haze. She doesn’t miss the way Lena drops her gaze to her lips for a split second before coming up to meet her in the eye.

 _So what, so what,_ Kara chants in her head.

Kara leans forward, just a bit, and hears how Lena’s breath hitches a little. Her body moves from its own accord before she's able to process and consider it. It's too late to back out now.

“Are you… going to kiss me?” Lena whispers, voice all so soft and gentle and the beating of her heart spikes up in Kara’s ears.

“Can I…?” Kara whispers back, inching closer and closer slowly, and gives Lena all the time to pull back or away from her. Kara wants to kiss her best friend. _So what_. Head swimming in thoughts, her mind goes overdrive, thinking about how soft Lena’s lips would be on hers, how she’d taste like, or how —

Kara’s not entirely too sure who closes the gap first, but she thinks it must be Lena because she’s _all_ about consent. The way their mouths meet is a complete utter mess; they almost clash teeth because both can’t help but break into a drunken smile and a second later they chuckle at that, nose brushing together. But they quickly recover and get it together. Kara leans in and feels the full and plush lips against her own, and there’s a frantic hunger in the way their lips meet for the second time.

 _Soft,_ she confirms for herself.

And then the next thing Kara knows is the sudden weight on her lap, and arms snaking— wrapping around her neck. Holy shit. Lena Luthor, her best friend, is sat on her lap, straddling her and kissing her senseless.

Now, Kara’s pretty much a master of self-control. She has to be. She’s _forced_ to be. Ever since she landed on Earth, she’d spent most of her time practicing and learning how to handle literally _everything_ on Earth with care. From beach balls to Rubik's cubes, from knitting to handcrafts, drawing/painting to playing instruments. She’s so, so careful in her touches— in all forms of physical contact. So she’s not foreign to touching a human. And intimately at that.

Heart hammering her ears, Kara breathes Lena in. Lena always smells _so_ fucking good, and Kara just wants to drink her all in. Her expensive perfume with a pang of alcohol, it floods her senses easily, making her feel a little dizzy and lightheaded. Running her hand along Lena’s waist, she takes a hand to Lena’s delicate back, presses her closer to her front.

Lena parts her lips, just enough for Kara to slip her tongue inside. Kara can’t help but smirk when she hears the soft noise Lena makes in the back of her throat— so she cranes her neck in a way to deepen the kiss, gaining better entrance to Lena’s mouth. The press of Lena’s body against her own deepens and Kara can feel just how much pressure her back is being pressed onto the couch. _Rao_ does she find this extremely hot.

Kara almost whines when Lena pulls back, and for a moment only the sound of heavy breathing is heard in the room. Fluttering her eyes open, she sees Lena staring at her with half-lidded eyes.

“More?” Lena whispers, voice low and rasp. She licks her lips painstakingly slow, which is now looking all supple and thoroughly kissed. Kara can’t help but take a moment to admire the view: Lena’s mussed hair and puffy lips, her eyes dark and glossy, her neckline askew, and the attractive flush from ear to throat and chest heaving. It kind of makes Kara a little nervous.

“More,” Kara breathes, and closes the distance. With Lena starting to get all touchy— her hand gliding from Kara’s collarbone, jawline to the back of her neck slow— Kara slips her hands down and cups Lena’s ass, gives it a tight squeeze. This elicits a guttural moan from Lena’s mouth. And right there and then, Kara just kind of fucking _melts_ at the sound, as she sighs onto the kiss with the intimacy of Lena’s tongue running along hers. “You’re gorgeous. You’re so gorgeous, you know that?” she whispers against Lena’s soft lips, and feels nails scraping at her scalp, “hot, so beautiful, so stunning. _Rao_ , Lena.”

Kara feels the twist of a smirk forming on Lena’s mouth. Honestly, she can't find it in her to care about her lack of eloquence right now. She’s having a full-blown make out session with her _best friend_. Can she be blamed?

“I do know that,” Lena says with a quiet shaky exhale and pulls her head back slightly for a pause. “I also know that I’m quite very huggable,” she leans in, murmuring against Kara’s cheek before she grabs the nape of Kara’s neck, connecting their mouths together once more, “kissable,” she continues on against her mouth, all slow and full of tongue and— _Rao_ , Kara’s never been so filthily kissed like this in her life, “...and fuckable.”

And just like that, Kara’s gone and fucking _withers_ under Lena. Completely and utterly turned on, she grabs— tugs on Lena’s hair with just the right pressure and lowers her head, breaking off the kiss. By the hitch of Lena’s breath she can tell she’s been caught surprised, but Kara doesn’t focus too much on that and starts pressing hot open mouth kisses on Lena’s neck.

“Kara,” Lena whimpers softly and lets her head fall back, allowing Kara better access to her neck. Kara’s hands travel down to Lena’s thighs, fingers digging extremely carefully into fabric and skin as she trails more wet kisses on Lena’s neck, “Kara…”

“I want to mark up your pretty skin.” Kara gives a long, slow purposeful lick at alabaster skin, “Can’t stop thinking about it, kind of want to mark you up so bad—”

“Leave marks then,” Lena pants breathlessly, and Kara wonders briefly if they should slow down. Everything she is doing with Lena right now must go against the HowToBestFriends101 book but then again it’s not like it’s the most terrible thing to do in the world— kissing your willing and eager best friend silly that is.

So Kara does what she’s been allowed. She carefully sucks a hickey into the base of Lena’s throat, drinking in her pretty gasp. “Thought about this sometimes, you know,” she murmurs against hot flushed skin, and feels wandering hands slip under her shirt. “You under me, but this works too.”

“Is that why you get all flustered around me sometimes,” Lena teases, her hands gliding soft against Kara’s bare skin.

Kara flushes. Ignoring the comment, she travels back up swiftly to reclaim Lena’s mouth, her tongue slipping back in instantaneously. This evokes a low filthy moan out of Lena and the vulgar sound just makes Kara feel extremely weak.

She’s just about had enough and considers taking her shirt off until she registers a fumbling of keys in the hallway out her door. For a second she thinks of ignoring it until she realizes it’s coming from _behind_ her door —

 _Alex_.

Biting back a groan, she grimaces and pulls Lena back softly by her shoulders. The raven-haired woman looks at her in confusion, then face slowly twisting into concern. Kara’s quick to shake her head, whispers, “Alex is coming.”

Eyes widening, Lena jerks away— almost stumbles backwards but Kara catches her just fine and soon they’re both in a frantic mess to fix their breathing and disheveled hair and crumpled shirts. Kara hears the keys drop on the ground and a curse shortly after.

She fixes herself fast enough and before she stands up to get the door, she’s stopped by a hand cupping her cheek. For a second she thinks Lena might kiss her again and the thought kind of worries Kara—

“Sorry, there’s a little,” Lena utters, voice deep and husky, and starts stroking the corners of Kara’s mouth hastily though with rapt attention as if to remove a blemish, “— okay, good. Perfect.”

The door opens and for once their hands are kept to themselves.

“Hey!” Kara chirps in greeting, her voice a little high-pitched. She’s not sure if being interrupted was for the better before things started to really escalate, but right now she feels so uncomfortably turned on she has to will herself to relax. Alex looks at her before looking at Lena. Kara gets up from the couch and walks towards her sister, “Did you forget something, Alex?”

“Yeah…” Alex drawls before she shakes her head, letting herself inside. “I was knocking but you weren’t answering, figured you’d gotten to sleep or something.”

“Sorry, I was dozing off to sleep. The knocking didn’t really register in,” she half-lies. Then thinks about the Abomination Drink.

“You guys drank more?” Alex utters in disbelief, squinting at the table before she rolls her eyes. “Anyway, Kelly left something.” She paces around the living room and then to the kitchen.

“What did she leave?” Lena gets up to help and Kara follows her shortly after. She tries not think about where Lena was sitting just a few moments ago.

“Phone. Ah— found it.” Her sister grumbles a _Kelly you clumsy_ under her breath and starts heading back to the door with Kara. Alex gives a last look back to the two. “Alright. Don't stay up too late. I’ll see you tomorrow, Kara.” She turns to look at Lena, shoots her an arched brow. “Luthor.”

“Goodnight to you too, Alex,” Lena says simply and smirks.

“Oh, say goodnight to Kelly for us, too!” Kara tells her sister.

Kara closes the door and a minute later, Alex’s footsteps are far away enough from her apartment floor.

She finally turns to face Lena.

“Well. That went smoothly,” the younger woman jokes.

Things don’t have to be awkward, in Kara’s honest opinion. Lena’s face is neutral, doesn’t look like she hated what just happened at all. And with the easy smile and shrug from Lena a second later, it’s clear she won’t make a big deal of it— not unless Kara does. So why should Kara?

Kara grins. She walks towards Lena, tucks the loose string of hair hanging in a wonky way behind Lena’s ear.

“Wanna head to bed and just cuddle? Not gonna lie, I kind of need a few more minutes to calm down first. That was… um, intense.”

Lena blinks before the corners of her lips tug upwards. “Trust me, I’m more affected than you are,” she mumbles lowly but audible, taking a hand up to rub a side of her face with a shaky breath. Her head drops and hangs on Kara’s shoulder. “Maybe I might even need a cold shower.”

“Lena _,_ ” Kara flushes.

The younger woman bursts into a warm chuckle before she looks up to Kara. “Back to being shy now, are we? Okay, I'm joking,” she says, then narrows her eyes, smirking slyly, “Or am I?”

“ _Lena,_ ” Kara stresses and Lena just laughs harder, tilting her head to a side, looking all extremely charming and entirely too smug. She half-considers continuing what just transpired between them moments ago just to make Lena shut up and wipe that grin off her face. Half-considers just cuddling and chilling instead. She decides to choose the latter. “Alright, so I got you a new toothbrush by the way. It’s in the bathroom.”

“New toothbrush,” Lena gasps dramatically. She stretches her arms and legs before heading towards the bathroom. “Kara, I will actually die a little inside if you got me another toothbrush with the Shrek design with his face on it.”

Kara doesn’t say anything and heads towards her bed to change. And then a moment later:

“ _Kara!_ ”

 

So, yeah. Kara’s sure she can’t be held fully accountable for this. Shortly after, they both settle in her bed like it’s just another normal sleepover night. They don’t talk about what happened and it’s all comfortable silence there. Kara’s the big spoon to Lena’s little spoon and they slot together like perfect puzzle pieces.

And so no matter what anyone says, all things considered, they’re not dating. She’s her best friend. Even if they flirt shamelessly with each other. Even if they recently had a mind-blowing make out session.

They won’t date, Kara’s very sure.

They won’t.


	2. Chapter 2

 

Kara does not wake up to the sound of her alarm. She wakes up to the smell of mocha and blueberry muffins, and feels the glow of sunshine ray peeking out from her curtains. She opens her eyes groggily, feels her arm searching for something soft and tangible in the sheets, but comes up empty. She’s about to drift into sleep before she processes the smell again.

Food. And work.

Her body springs up and immediately she grabs for her phone by the night stand. It’s 8:33am. Her eyes widen and she moves out of her bed in haste, legs getting tangled in the sheets. Biting Kryptonian curses under her breath, she uses super-speed to do her morning routine and change for work. When she gets back to the nightstand to demolish the muffin and mocha, flashes of events come back vividly in her head from last night.

She flushes _hard_.

Finally noticing the small sticky note next to the muffin, she brings it up to read.

_Leaving early for an early work meeting. Hope you slept well. See you for lunch later? -L._

Kara blinks.

She grabs the muffin by the night stand and devours it whole, and then drains the lukewarm mocha down her throat. She opts to fly to catco, not feeling up to deal with a lecture about tardiness from her boss.

 

_Kara(10:38am): hey you!_

_Lena(10:45am): Hey, me. Good morning to you too, Kara._

_Kara(10:46am): oh good morning!! you know, if i had known you had an early meeting in the morning i wouldn’t have let you drink that much >:( _

_Lena(10:46am): It’s all well and fine, the meeting went well. I do have a little headache, though._

_Kara(10:47am): gee i wonder why_

_Lena(10:49am): Not all of us have super powers that extend to repelling hangovers, darling._

Kara sends a plethora of pouting and tongue stuck out emojis.

_Lena(10:54am): We’re still up for lunch, right? My treat, since you bought last time. Thrice if I must add._

_Kara(10:54am): of course!! can’t have u passing out in work. I know you’d skip if it weren’t for lil ol’ adorkable me ;)) im irresistible_

_Lena(10:56am): Well, you got me. I can never pass the opportunity to have brunches with a pretty girl._

_Kara(10:56am): gasp! so you’re saying all this time u only went on lunches with me bc im pretty. Well unfortunately for u, i also have wicked intentions but im not sharing them. keep the enemies close but keep the pretty girls closer u kno_

_Lena(10:58am): Sure, Kara. ;)_

For a hot minute, Kara forgets the events from yesterday, getting lost in how their conversation sounds so normal— the usual. Then unable to help herself, her brain ventures into the certain images of frantic touching and heavy panting and messy hair and lipstick.

“Have they found them yet?” Nia comes up behind her, in a low, hushed tone, bouncing up and down on her feet.

Kara almost falls out of her swivel seat.

“Nia! Itching to spring into some action today?” Kara clears her throat, shaking the images off her head. She takes a look at the younger woman, sees the restlessness of Nia’s energy.

Nia’s fiddling with her hands and her eyes buzz, circling around the room.

“Well, I— I don’t know. Just feels like a slow day today. You know?” Nia avoids her gaze, lips pursed.

Kara narrows her eyes. Because Nia is still relatively new at the super hero thing, she has these regular bursts of energy, thrumming to go out there and engage in operations to do some good. But today the reason seems a little different.

“You look like you went and had a sugar-load, or something. What did you eat,” Kara gasps, her eyes already searching at Nia’s desk. “I want in on it.”

Nia doesn’t answer, simply shrugs. Kara arches an eyebrow.

“Brainy?”

Her friend’s face slips, and breaks into a pout. “Maybe.”

“Cute,” Kara clicks her tongue. “You guys are very cute.”

“He’s just being a little silly recently,” Nia mumbles, leaning a little on Kara’s desk. “But other than that, I _do_ wanna go out and do something. It’s a really slow day today and the lack of productivity is doing my head in.”

Brainy’s acting weird? Kara makes a note to go visit him sometime soon. She’s not fully in on what’s been happening between Nia and Brainy, all she knows is that there’s _something_ and that they’re insanely cute.

“No, they haven’t been found but I’m sure it’s just a matter of time until Alex finds them. Until then, ass-kicking is saved for a later,” she grins. They’ve been on the hunt for two rogue aliens since two days ago. Kara’s sure it won’t be long until they’re found and get notified to move out. “Wanna join me for lunch with Lena?”

 

They meet at their usual local coffee place. _The coffee place_ , Kara likes to simply call it.

“I’m so sorry, I got held up in a meeting,” Lena heaves a sigh, and slides into the booth next to Nia. “Oh, hey, Nia.” The Irish woman’s eyebrows shoot up, smiling in surprise at the woman.

 _Of course_ , Kara thinks, biting her tongue. Having lunch with Lena means seeing Lena physically. Talking to her. Expectedly. And yet, now with the sight of the CEO right in front of her, she feels her neck heating a little.

“Nia’s been a little sulky today so she’s having lunch with us,” Kara explains, and easily earns a glare from Nia.

“Am not,” Nia insists. She shoots a polite smile at Lena. “H-Hi, Ms. Luthor. Sorry to barge in your lunch with Kara.”

Lena rolls her eyes. “Please, none of that. It’s Lena. And no, don’t apologize at all. You’re always welcome to join.”

Nia clears her throat. Kara bites down a laugh; it’s only recently that Nia and Lena met, and often they’d meet through Kara or their mutual friends’ nights out. Outside of catco and work, that is. Always surrounded by other people, it makes sense that they haven’t had any proper chat together, the awkward air evidently swirling between them. Nia’s still clearly intimidated by her best friend.

“Okay. Thanks, Lena.”

“So? What’s gotten you all sulky? Did Kara do something?” Lena grins, glancing at Kara before looking at Nia.

Kara huffs.

“It’s nothing much, really,” Nia grumbles, cheeks flushing lightly. “Hold on, I’m going to go order for us.” Kara hands her some cash until Lena waves her off, striking a threatening _it’s my treat, remember_ brow up.

“So…” Kara hums, a grin stretching across her face. “Hi.”

“Hey back,” Lena arches an eyebrow. She sits back comfortable on the booth, setting her bag down properly onto the side. Kara kind of just stares for a few seconds; Lena looks _stunning_ today, makeup on point and she’s wearing Kara’s favourite blue coat on her. It makes Kara want to reach out over the table and hug her very much.

“How’s the headache?”

“Hurts much less now. Must have something to do with the the pretty girl sitting across me right now,” Lena shrugs, and places her elbows on the table. “Also said pretty girl mentioned something earlier about wicked intentions…?”

“That’s right,” Kara mirrors her, leaning in with elbows across the table, grinning. “But it can’t be shared. You don’t have the privilege for such highly classified information.”

“Not even with your best friend?”

“Not even with my best friend.”

“Shame.” Lena crosses her legs under the table, runs a hand through her hair with a ridiculous attractive smirk on her face. Kara keeps her eyes trained up. Tries not to look at her lips or see if there’s anything on her neck from yesterday’s. It’s a genuine struggle.

Perhaps she kind of really, _really_ wants to kiss her again. The flirting isn’t helping. Not at all. Because she’s an idiot, and she’s an idiot that can’t help but be _so_ into it.

And oh, _Rao,_ betrayed by her own eyes, she accidentally slips up and gazes downwards, sees a slight blemish under the blue coat with her sharp, perfect eyes, under the white collar (Kara curses— the _angles_ , darn the angles), and—

“It’s there,” Lena says, a teasing glint in her eyes.

“What?”

“The mark.”

“Oh, I—” Kara sputters, hands flat on the table.

A throaty chuckle erupts from Lena, looking too clearly amused at this.

“I have to admit, the marks are a little too higher up for my liking, but it’s fine,” the raven-haired woman hums, looking absurdly gorgeous. It’s not like Kara’s experiencing a breakdown right now, no. Having given your gorgeous best friend a hickey like it’s no biggie and normal. It’s all fine.

“Now Jess is on the man hunt to see who ravished her boss’ neck. Scandalous,” Lena quips, voice conspiratorially low and mischievous, winking.

Deep breaths.

(What deep breaths. She rarely lacks oxygen in her body.

But Kara is not, in fact, fine.)

“You find this amusing. You’re enjoying this.”

“Can you blame me?” Lena shrugs, and, _yes,_ Kara blames her, blames her with all her might, and Kara might just call and ask her friendly old neighbour to support her in her blaming. “You’re easy to tease and too cute when you get all flustered.”

Kara bites the insides of her cheeks, flushing _hard_. Thankfully, Nia comes back with their orders before she loses more grace and her will to live.

“Salad for lunch... Are you a vegan, Lena?” Nia takes note of the plastic bowl in front of Lena, as she digs in her own lunch.

“No, not necessarily,” the CEO answers, forking up what Kara calls the Abomination Greens. “They’re my favourite. Also, it’s kind of impossible for me to go full vegan when Kara’s around.”

Nia snorts, and she glances up to Kara who’s consuming a mouthful of food a little too fast.

“I can’t imagine being a full vegan,” Nia says in thought. “I’ve tried countless of times, but I always end up succumbing to the meat and fish cravings in the end.”

“I could totally be vegan,” Kara swallows her food all down her throat, finally speaking. The power of food has given her some cover on her ground, feeling more functional as a normal alien of the society. “I’m vegan right now.”

“Kara, your plate is full of potstickers and sushi,” Lena points out, an amused smile playing in her lips. “With three pizza bread on the side.”

“So? I’m like, five seconds in right now on that vegan streak. Until I continue eating.” And then Kara continues to eat.

“Kara…” Nia rubs her face in disbelief.

“Dork,” Lena scoffs, mouth agape. “That’s not how it works, but okay.”

After a moment later, Kara manages to get Nia spilling more details about what’s been going on with her and Brainy. Of course she’s a little concerned, she’s her friend and mentor. Plus, she ships the hell out of the two. _DreamerDox_ , she calls it (because she can be extra like that), has called for the rights and claims to the ship name ever since the two had some obvious thing going on together.

“He said things about keeping it ‘professional’,” Nia tells them with aired quotation marks, leaning back. “So I was like, sure, okay, wildcat.”

“Ah,” Lena nods. “But something tells me it won’t be long until he changes his mind, though?”

“You guys are the cutest couple I know and I agree with Lena,” Kara grins. She’s sure Nia and Brainy are inevitable. That’s just how they are. “Brainy will come around to it, I’m sure.”

Nia just shrugs. “Well, how about you guys? Kara, you haven’t dated anyone seriously in a while. And Lena, it’s been a long time since James. Honestly, you guys confuse the hell out of me, but I’m genuinely curious.”

When Lena doesn’t answer, Kara finds her mouth opening first.

“I don’t think I can do relationships right now,” Kara hums, scratching the back of her neck. It’s an honest answer, but she feels a little uneasy at the question. The longest relationship ship she’s been fully committed to is with potstickers. Seriously. She can never cheat on potstickers as her number one. Relationship goals, right? “Still, I mean. Or rather, I’m not looking for anything serious.”

“Oh. I see.”

When Kara turns to look at Lena across the table, she finds the young CEO’s gaze fixated on Nia with a neutral face.

“Same,” Lena finally answers, and turns to Kara with a shrug.

“Well— oh, James is calling me. I have to get back, guys.” Nia stands up, collecting her bag and rubbish. “This was a nice brunch, thank you for letting me barge in out of the blue, Lena. I’ll see you soon, Kara. Bye, Lena.”

Shortly afterwards, Kara is outside the store front with Lena by the sidewalks.

Kara wrinkles her nose and feels her specs slide down on the bridge of her nose. Lena smiles softly, brings a hand up to Kara’s face and slides Kara’s glasses back up. Kara goofily smiles, and she engulfs Lena in a firm, warm hug, eliciting a lovely chuckle from the Irish woman.

“See you sometime soon,” Lena sighs lightly, and kisses her on the cheek, a touch second longer than normal. And then Lena is gone.

That was way too close to her mouth. Kara gulps.

She turns back to Catco.

 

In Kara’s line of work, she’s learned early on to get comfortable or used to the sight and smell and the feel of spilled blood. Mostly other people’s blood unless Kryptonite is involved. With her heightened senses, the scent of spilled strong metallic iron still makes her feel a little queasy. No matter the quantity spilled. Usually she can control her sense of smell well, but the sight of it on Nia is making her feel jittery.

“You sure you’re good?” she asks for the nth time, one knee to the ground, and eyes scanning Nia’s body for more possible or hidden injuries.

“It’s okay, relax,” Nia says, almost incredulous. “Seriously, Kara. It’s just a tiny scratch. Wow, man.” The masked woman wraps an ugly yellow minion bandaid on her palm, treats the injury as if it were a paper-cut.

It’s true. It’s just a tiny scratch, its bleeding minuscule. So maybe Kara’s overreacting, but she can’t help it. She’s Nia’s mentor as well as a friend. She feels a special certain responsibility. Perhaps this is what Alex feels like all the time.

Alex and Brainy walk into the med-bay, and, in a flurry of movement, Brainy’s already all over around Nia’s space.

“You guys did well and caught the rogue aliens,” Alex comments, her mouth curling up in pleasure. “I thought Nia was spilling her guts out in the field, what with you spewing out these frantic concerns in the comms, but seriously? _Kara_.”

“Ugh, I know, I get it,” Kara grits her teeth, feeling the embarrassment settle in. She crosses her arms, shrugs helplessly. “But do you really think I compare to Brainy right now?”

Alex spares a glance at Brainy, sees him fumbling his sentences and hands twitching in the air in nervousness. Nia just shakes her head, pulls him in for a hug.

 _Go with the flow and love the ride,_ Kara thinks in her head. That was quite brave of Brainy to tell her that, seeing him contradict his very own advice right in front of her. She’s going to have a good talk with him later when she finds the chance.

“True,” Alex shrugs.

 

Kara is guided out of the room and an hour later she’s in Alex’s apartment, sat by the kitchen counter ravaging her sister’s snacks.

“Kara, I’m pretty sure I didn’t invite you so you could demolish my snack stash in one day.”

“It’s sister’s night,” Kara reasons, mouthful of Doritos and salsa.

“Correct, not eat-all-your-sister’s-snack-day,” Alex exasperates, throwing a stress ball at her. Of course, Kara catches it, and grins. “So… Luthor ended up sleeping at your apartment yesterday?”

Kara shakes a pringle tin, licking her lips before opening it. “Yeah. She stays over sometimes, remember?”

“I know,” Alex says with a slight frown. “Was just wondering about something. Hey, ease down on the pringles, those weren’t on sale.”

“You keep tabs on how many times she sleeps over now?” Kara snorts. “That’s nasty, Alex.”

Another stress ball comes flying towards her face, and Kara catches it way too easily.

“No, you goof,” Alex crinkles her nose. “Just concerned and— no, it’s not about her being a Luthor before you go bringing the torch and pitchforks on me. We’re well past that. Lena’s my friend, too. You know what— never mind, I’m just thinking way too much into this.”

Kara tilts her head curiously to a side, opens her mouth. Closes it when she finds she has nothing to say.

She throws the two stress balls back to Alex.

 

Kara can’t actually stop thinking about the kiss. She paces around her room, a little flustered and a little horny and— oh, _Rao_ , she’s losing it a little. It must be the lack of food in her stomach and surrounding, or the pending two stale articles half-written in her laptop, or maybe it’s just because she hasn’t seen Lena for _two_ entire weeks.

Now, get this:

Kara doesn’t think herself much of a horn dog.

Then get this:

Kara just wants to kiss Lena.

In all ways that’s neither friendly nor innocent.

Right, so maybe she’s a little hot and bothered for her best friend. Or maybe it’s just really because she’s bored and she wants to see Lena like how normal best friends see each other every now and then: go hang and eat, talk, and laugh together.

 _That must be it_ , she thinks, striking a fist in the air, clicking her tongue in realization. Finally some reason and ground in her head. When she’s about to text Lena and orchestrate for some best-friend night out, the buzzing of her phone beats her to it.

_Lena(12:44am): So, I’ll finally be free, landing tomorrow in the afternoon. Kind of miss you. Dinner? My treat._

Really _,_ none of them had expected the billionaire CEO to be pulled into some overseas board meeting. As a major shareholder of certain companies, of course she has to attend and oversee things for herself. Now matter how busy and how much plate Lena is holding, Kara will always be in awe to see how Lena always constantly make time for her. To see her. Kara being the sappy shit she is, just kind of _melts_ at the fact.

_Kara(12:44am): only kind of?? you wound me lena! i missed you tons :))_

_Lena(12:45am): Oh, I couldn’t have thought. What, with you sending me pictures of all the puppies you come across and the food you’re about to demolish every day._

_Kara(12:45am): well someone has to un-mundane your mundane days_

_Kara(12:46am): is everything okay though? two weeks seems pretty much an overstay_

_Lena(12:47am): Yes, it’s just the board members being extra difficult and undecisive of things. Among other projects I had to foresee. The usual, but it’s all solved now. So, dinner with me tomorrow?_

_Kara(12:47am): yeah! ill see u tmr then ;)safe flights_

 

Lena shows up to her doorstep, looking utterly pretty and a little tired, eyebags slightly evident under makeup. Kara beams, wraps her in an all-consuming hug.

“Hey!”

“Kara,” Lena greets, hugging just as warmly back, letting out a huge exhale. Then soon, Kara feels a cold nose sliding into the crook of her neck, nuzzling in deep. “Truly a sight for sore eyes.”

“That tired? You know, you could just go home and rest? I can cook you something for dinner.”

“Just a little jet-lagged, is all,” Lena steps back, shaking her head. “I got enough rest, actually. Let’s go? You look like a starved puppy.” She shakes her keys.

“Are you driving?” Kara grabs her brown coat at the rack beside her door.

“Yes.”

 

Lena takes her to a fancy steakhouse. Kara’s feet are bouncing up and down, fingers drumming excitedly on her thighs, huge smile etched on her face.

She’s been right all along. All those thoughts she had before— she was right; it was only because she hasn’t seen Lena for so long. She feels so much better, buzzing with energy having Lena near her and quality food coming up on their way. There is not a thought or two shoved deep in her mind. There isn’t. _There isn’t._

“Careful there, firecracker,” the Irish woman grins across the table, chin on her palm. “You wouldn’t want to accidentally burn this place down.”

“Steak, Lena!” Kara beams. “You’re treating me to steak. They also have potstickers in the menu! How can I not contain my excitement? I haven’t had steak in a while.”

“Order how much ever you want.”

How much ever she wants? They’re at a steakhouse. A mere piece of steak is expensive as fuck. With how Lena looks at her across the table, a smile unrestrained and full of fondness, she can’t help but feel her slight discomfort diminish. If Kara didn’t know any better, she thinks at this point Lena has a legitimate thing with spoiling her best friend with food.

“Okay, no take backsies.”

“Never have I been so jealous of potstickers and steak.”

“I’m weak,” Kara shrugs. “They woo my heart like no other. No one can compete.”

Lena smirks, clicking her tongue. “Can’t blame a girl for trying.” She takes her coat off, hangs it on her chair. Under the controlled dim light of the restaurant, Lena emanates a certain glow, looking as elegant and polished with her low-cut dress showing off her pale neck and chest.

Kara does _not_ have thoughts.

They settle into a comfortable silence as they wait for their order. Classic music plays lowly in the background, accompanied with the light chatter around them. As Kara studies their surroundings, she wonders if she left her stoves rightly turned off before heading out, or if she took the bins out for tonight.

The waitress shows up sometime later, laying their meals on the table with a barely controlled troubled expression. There’s probably enough food for four adults at least, but Kara can’t find it in her to pay mind when superior food is laid right in front of her waiting to be consumed and savoured. Kara and Lena both thank the waitress, and instantly they dig in.

“I’ve been thinking,” the younger woman hums after long while later. Kara looks up, sees Lena staring at the tablecloth with a contemplative smile. “Yes, that’s it. You are like a labrador retriever.”

“You’re comparing me to a dog right now?”

“Lab retrievers are remarkably kind, intelligent, playful dogs with the friendliest eyes,” Lena explains, and green finally meets blue. Wearing the softest of smiles, she tilts her head as she regards Kara across her.

Kara absently licks her lips, and her eyes drop down to Lena’s velvety lips. First mistake. She looks away quickly, takes a sip of water.

“So I’m very much lovable and quite irresistible,” she jokes. “What brought this on?”

“Someone kept bringing their dog to their office everyday,” Lena elaborates. “It was a golden lab. Almost everyday, I saw it in the same room with its tail wagging excitedly, looking extremely approachable by the door. Every time I saw the dog, I kept thinking of you.”

Kara bites the insides of her cheeks. “Well… did you get any chance to pet the good doggo?”

“No, I barely knew anyone there except the people I had to meet. I wanted to, though, but the owner was never quite there whenever I passed by.”

“That’s cute,” Kara says, soft sigh escaping her mouth. The image of Lena floundering and drowning in hesitance under her cut-cold CEO mask passing by the retriever plays in her head. It’s more than cute. It’s adorkable. Finishing the last bite of her steak, she plops a palm to her chin on the table. “Thought of me much, did you,” she teases.

“Yeah,” Lena lightly admits, lips parting slightly. A few beats of silence. Kara accidentally looks down. Again. And dies a little inside.

Clearing her throat, she takes another sip of water. She wishes she could throw herself to the nearest window right now.

They stay chatting a bit more until they decide they should go.

Lena pays and Kara manages to pay for the tip without Lena putting any fight (thankfully).

 

“Kara, it’s this way— my car’s parked that way, remember?” Lena taps Kara on the shoulder, and laughs when Kara clumsily turns around.

They walk together at a normal pace on the sidewalk in silence. Yeah, Kara’s a little on the edge. They turn to a block shortly after, and soon, she feels herself calming down.

_Thump, thump._

When they’re about to round to another corner, she sees Lena abruptly stop, and— in rapid succession, a hand grabs at her arm and pulls her in into a narrow alley.

As she registers soft lips against hers, she feels hard, brick wall against her back and a familiar body against her own. Confusion heavily clouds her head, and Lena’s about to pull away until Kara forces herself to _get it together_ , reciprocating the hunger in Lena’s mouth just as much.

Lena’s hands ball tightly on Kara’s collars before they slowly loosen completely, palm flattening against sturdy shoulders. Shortly, Kara relaxes into the kiss, sighing, and she brings herself to wrap an arm around Lena’s back, guiding her closer.

 _Crap, crap, crap_ , they’re really doing this again…

With Lena slanting onto Kara, tiptoeing in a way, Kara cranes her neck to a side, and feels Lena’s tongue hot and wet against hers, kissing her slow and unhurried and, fuck, it’s hot. They’re not drunk, they’re sober as hell and Kara feels everything. A soft whimper escapes out from Kara, and, too soon for Kara’s liking, Lena backs away, panting thickly.

Fluttering her eyes open, she finds herself speechless and just blinks lamely at Lena.

“Sorry, it’s just— you kept staring at my lips before and, and, I just—” The rare sight of Lena in a stammering mess causes Kara to stay still, deeply transfixed by the nervous younger woman, “it’s just, now I couldn’t stop thinking about it and—”

With a shaky breath, Kara shakes her head quickly, making Lena stop on her tracks. She licks her lips, looks left and right. They’re at dirty, dodgy-looking alley and Kara’s pretty sure they could get attacked here, or something, by wandering muggers. Or maybe not, perhaps the attackers would just stop, stare, and enjoy the show. Or something. They’re both attractive young women, so.

“Okay.”

“Okay…?” Lena drawls, clearly muddled, her mouth opening and closing. Kara isn’t sure what to say, she just wanted to stop Lena fumbling on her words, and. Yeah. Okay.

Lena’s gaze falls down to the concrete, her body still in close proximity to Kara’s. She bites her bottom lip hard. “Would you— do you want to maybe come with me to my penthouse? I really did missed you so much.” The raven-haired woman rests her head on Kara’s shoulder, her heart beat rapidly thumping in Kara’s ears. As Kara adjusts her askew glasses, she feels Lena’s long, slender fingers playing with the lapels of her coat.

“Sure,” she manages to croak out.

 

The ride to Lena’s penthouse is quiet. The elevator ride up to Lena’s penthouse is quiet. It’s probably best they calm down for the rest of the night and just watch a movie, or something. Maybe watch a few episodes of The Great British Bake Off, or maybe they could re-watch some old, sappy classic romance film like Pride & Prejudice.

Yeah, they could do that.

Or maybe not.

The second Kara closes the door, she finds herself pushed up against the entrance door with Lena’s hands all over her and soft, impatient eager lips ravaging her own. _Not a new situation at all_ , Kara sarcastically thinks. It’s like Lena’s been waiting for this, the moment for privacy and seclusion from prying eyes and away from unfamiliar environment.

Honestly, Kara finds it hot, digs it, that Lena is so into her like this.

“You okay?” Lena asks the question against Kara's mouth, her arms wrapping around Kara's neck, tiptoeing slightly.

“Yes,” she responds, feeling herself run hot and just plain _bothered._ “Are you?” She strokes a thumb on Lena’s jaw, kisses her deeper. Seconds pass, and then a minute. And another minute. Until Lena pulls back a bit, nose brushing with Kara’s.

“I’m so turned on I can’t even think straight.”

Kara feels her heart drop, and an enormous wave of arousal hits her.

She brings her hands up to grope Lena’s ass, supporting her weight with ease, and Lena mumbles something incoherent, a soft _—my bed_. She steers Lena to the bedroom, fumbling on the way from the distraction of teeth and tongue biting and licking into her earlobe. She sets the younger woman on the mattress softly and removes their shoes, as she shrugs off her coat in haste.

Her mouth quickly sets on Lena’s jaw, wet, exploring, and Lena’s skin is so soft she tastes like soap and salt.

“Need to get out of this dress,” the Irish woman croaks, her hands messily reaching for the zip. Kara feels her insides clench, her heart running wild.

Shit, they’re really doing this.

She easily helps Lena out, her swift and deft fingers shrugging and dropping Lena’s dress to the floor. Lena tugs her bra off shortly afterwards, and Kara gulps. She feels the air shift in their surroundings, as she hovers just above Lena, her hands on either side of Lena’s head. Blue meets green and for a moment there’s a stillness between them, accompanied by their breathing.

The intensity of Lena’s eyes makes Kara shudder. Powerful and enigmatic. It makes her feel like she’s the only girl in the _world._

_Rao._

_Thump, thump, thump._

Wanting to relish in this moment for a little longer, she brings a hand up to Lena’s face, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ears. She can easily see the dilation of Lena’s eyes with want.

Moving her fingers, Kara takes pride at the hitch of Lena’s breath, then at the shiver that goes through Lena when she drags the nails of her right hand from Lena’s cheek, down the side of her neck, over her collarbone and down.

“ _Lena,_ ” she whispers, eyes roaming over Lena’s tousled hair, swollen lips, and the curve of her breasts. “You’re gorgeous.”

Lena flushes a lovely red. She looks away, biting her bottom lip. Then, when they lock into a gaze once more, Kara feels a hand grab the nape of her neck, pulling her in for another heated kiss. Her buttons start getting undone on her shirt by Lena’s hands, and this— this is really, really turning Kara on way more than it should. Lena Luthor, her best friend unbuttoning her shirt with shaky hands and her tongue running along hers at the same time, all needy and desperate.

Finally out of her shirt, she can see just how much Lena is affected, but she herself is fairing no better. Still, she manages to control the pace, ignoring the scratching and nails digging into her back that’s conveying a clear _just get on with it_ and _need more_.

Dipping her head low, she peppers kisses and licks as she goes lower, from Lena’s chin, to her neck, collarbone, then down until she captures a nipple in her mouth.

“Kara,” Lena rasps, sounding out of breath. Kara smirks at the sound, tugs at the nipple with her teeth as she plays with the other nipple with her fingers. She licks her slow and careful, but also messy and wet, and switches from time to time. As she comes back up, she trails a hand down further, starts massaging Lena’s hips lazily.

They are really fucking doing this. She’s in Lena’s bed, on top of her, and the smell of Lena instigates a dizzying burning hunger for her.

She takes Lena in by the mouth again, kissing her filthily slow, as she rubs a thumb at Lena’s hip and clasping her breast. She can feel the pressure of nails digging into skin on her back, feels the scraping in her scalp, and the softness that is Lena underneath her. She breaks off the kiss, moves onto Lena’s pulse-point, reveling in Lena’s soft sounds of breathing.

“Kara, I’m so _wet,_ ” Lena utters throatily, voice all husky and low right in Kara’s ears, grazing teeth over her earlobe. “I’m _drenched_.” A bite and a lick. A tug, and Kara’s ponytail comes loose. “Don’t you want to feel how wet I am?”

Fuck.

It’s honestly something Kara would think to never hear from Lena, to hear say it directly to _her._ Kara’s pretty sure she won’t last long herself.

“Kara,” Lena rasps out warningly, and Kara lets herself take a moment, watches the woman in front of her: Lena’s emerald-green eyes dark with barely repressed desire, jaw tight and firmly locked, chest heaving, emotion and storm twisting in her expression.

Lena Luthor is just absolutely breathtaking.

“What is it?” she asks innocently, nibbing on Lena’s ear. She can’t help herself. Her hand descends further, starts caressing Lena’s thigh. “Something you want?” Her words are breathed against flushed skin. A hard swallow from Lena. “All you have to do is ask,” she says.

Kara surprises herself. Never knew she could be such an infuriating tease.

A forefinger slides closer and closer to where Lena _wants_ it to be, but halts.

“Fuck, Kara, _”_ Lena snaps, all breathily, “just fuck me up already. Need your fingers. _Please_.”

Satisfied at this, she slips a hand under Lena’s knickers, watching Lena’s face carefully. Then slips one finger in experimentally, and observes the swell of Lena’s chest. Then two, and Lena’s eyes widen before the she lets out a strangled, helpless whimper, her head throwing back, mouth open and back arching beautifully on the mattress. _Rao,_ Lena’s so wet, friction barely exists in her clit. It’s driving Kara insane.

Pale neck so open and flushed, Kara sucks and nips at it, drinking in Lena’s soft, controlled whimpering.

“I like you like this,” she mutters hotly against skin, and feels Lena writher beneath her as she circles her fingers in a slow, languid manner, “so good, never knew I wanted you like this.” Then she moves her finger, slides one in inside easily, thumb circling her soaking clit.

“Kara, fuck,” Lena whimpers brokenly, “—harder, more. Please.”

And Kara listens. Of course she listens when Lena’s begging her like this. She slides one more finger in, curling, as her thumb increases pace, pressing harder. Lena’s eyes shuts tight, mouth hanging open, and hearing the ragged breathing and obscene wet sounds her slick fingers make in Lena is making her feel so pleasantly dizzy.

The younger woman is still holding back, the sound of her breathing hinting some restrain.

“Tell me how good it is,” Kara goads.

“So good,” Lena breathes, body shaking, “fuck, Kara. Feels so good.”

Goodness. More words Kara would never think to hear from Lena herself. She swallows hard.

“You sound so pretty, Lena,” Kara whispers, and Lena _melts_ at the praise, her wrapped arm around Kara’s torso, holding her close. “Sound so good for me,” Kara mutters, stringing along more filth into Lena’s ear, letting the raven-haired woman cry out and ask for it faster and fucking her harder all she wants.

“Kara...” she moans, spine arching. “Kara...” and that’s how Kara wants her name spoken. Spilled from Lena’s gasping lips, accented by lust. “There— _yes.._. M’close. Fuck, so close. Don't stop.”

Lena’s breathing gets faster and heavier and Kara keeps her relentless pace, watching Lena as she goes. And soon, Kara’s name tumbles out from Lena’s mouth, coming out as an uninhibited breathy whimper, her eyes squeezing shut and body quaking underneath Kara. Kara doesn’t stop, but she slows down, as she feels the younger woman’s body go weak, riding her orgasm all the way out, palming hot and swollen skin.

It’s not long until Lena grabs her hand, a gesture saying that she’s had enough, and wraps Kara in an embrace.

As soon as Kara feels herself relaxing on top of Lena, feels her own heartbeat calming down, she’s flipped around— positioned underneath Lena and head on the pillow.

Lena smirks down at her dangerously, and Kara feels herself melt into a puddle. If she hasn’t already, that is. _Rao_ , she knows she’s dripping.

“You still have your pants on,” Lena clicks her tongue disapprovingly, and a finger hooks, tugs on Kara’s brown belt. “You’re going to be so easy.” Lena’s eyes flick up and down, and Kara shudders, already finds herself squirming on the mattress.

“I don’t doubt that.” Really. She doesn’t at all.

“While I’m thrilled to see what I can learn about you,” Lena says, undoing Kara’s belt and helping her pants out for her, “I’ll save that for _next time_. You’re already so close, aren’t you,” Lena murmurs against her neck, tongue running downwards as her hands tug Kara’s underwear away.

The promise of a next time. _Rao_. Kara is close to losing it. Almost comes right there. But _no_ , she doesn’t, she doesn’t because she’s not a fucking nerd. Lena just needs to hurry up—

“Lena.”

Lips on her neck curve into a smirk. “My fingers or mouth? Tell me what you want.”

Kara gulps. Flushes. She can control herself. She’s _good_ at control. She won’t hurt Lena.

“M-mouth,” she says. “Please,” she adds, “I need your mouth. On me.” For safety measures.

And Lena doesn’t disappoint— she delivers immediately, her tongue already flat against Kara’s deeply aroused nub.

“Shit— fuck, Lena!” Kara whimpers— she knows she’s going to get teased about the cursing, but right now she can’t find it in her to care about that. Right now her best fucking friend’s tongue, hot and slick and wet, is on her, doing wonders to her body. “ _Lena._ ”

“Taste so good, Kara,” Lena murmurs, each lick long and purposeful and wet. “Look at me.”

And Kara does. Lena looks completely and thoroughly disheveled, and her eyes are as piercing as ever, as she’s settled between Kara’s legs. In Lena’s eyes, she must look like a disorganized mess right now, her arms and hands raised up above her head. She can’t hold, or pull at Lena’s hair. She bites her lip. Hard.

She's already so worked up, her head spinning pleasantly. She knows she won’t last long.

“Almost—” Kara whispers brokenly, almost pained, throat constricting. “A-Almost there—” and she continues to watch Lena tonguing her down, unable to break off eye-contact.

_Rao._

And driven off the edge, she shuts her eyes hard, jaw clenched, and sees a white-hot flare in her mind. Heat and pleasure roll through her body, shatters her in all kinds of good ways. Slowly, Lena draws herself out.

“Come back up here,” she says, her breathing uneven. And Lena does, she comes hovering above Kara, looking completely mesmerizing. She always does. Even when she looks disheveled— quite especially when she’s disheveled. Kara cups at Lena’s face, kisses her hard, all sloppy and wet as she moans and tastes herself in Lena’s mouth.

When they separate, Lena plops her head on the pillow beside Kara. Her breathing is coming into a certain calmness. Kara turns to her side as she stares at Lena back. No words are exchanged and silence hangs between them until Lena twists into the softest and sleepiest of smiles. Suddenly feeling shy, Kara bashfully smiles back.

“Tired,” Lena yawns, and she looks over Kara at the nightstand, eyes squinting. “Wow. I must really be jet-lagged, it’s only 10:38pm.”

“Then let’s sleep,” Kara decides. “Wanna cuddle?” She has to ask. Shit, they’ve never cuddled bare skin-to-skin directly.

The young CEO nods sleepily, eyes already shutting close. She brings the blanket up, scoots in close, and nuzzles her nose deep into Kara’s neck with an arm snaking its way around Kara’s waist. Lena huffs out a pleasant sigh, clearly comfortable and about to fall asleep.

Kara holds her close, lets out a small, shaky breath. No need to think deep into this. What’s life without letting loose and _living_ a little? Fucking your just-as-eager best friend in her home and bed, is that it? Lena’s already fast asleep, tucked in her arms.

Soon, Kara succumbs to sleep, too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that settles it i can keep writing this, thank u 4 ur thots before. never knew i held sp much sin & grammar errors in my hands 
> 
> twt: @coffeeshib


	3. Chapter 3

 

Kara wakes up to the buzzing electrical sounds of her phone. As she comes to her senses, the first thing she feels is a certain weight that’s draping over almost half of her body. Gulping, she peeks an eye open, sees Lena Luthor naked, all soft and bare. On top of her. Sleeping comfortable and sound. On her bare fucking chest.

Right. That happened.

She looks up towards the ceiling, finding that she’s unable to process anything sound. She can feel every inch of her best friend’s naked body pressing onto hers. Oddly, she feels a little calm.

Keyword: a little. And maybe a little horny.

 _Rao_. She needs to bleach her brain, what is wrong with her. Extremely careful of herself and of the sleeping woman, she successfully extracts herself away without waking Lena up. She reaches for her phone on the nightstand.

It’s 4:37am. A missed call and a text from Alex.

_Alex(4:33am): Kara, are you awake? Something came up and we could really use your flight and super-speed. One of the newbies sent a package to the wrong country and we need that package preferably much before 11am._

Kara glances at the sleeping woman, taking in her profile. Lena's face glows and she takes note of the mole on her neck, prettily exposed under the moonlight. Lena shifts once, then twice around the mattress before half-hugging the pillow Kara had slept on.

She could stay here and sleep a little longer with Lena and wake up with her. Get a little more sleep with the comfy bed (person).

She texts Alex instead, tells her that she’s on her way before wearing her clothes back on, leaving a note by the nightstand, and draping the blanket comfortably above Lena’s shoulder.

 

Kara gets back to her apartment two hours later after dealing with the issue.

“Kara, hey sweetie,” Friendly Old Neighbour greets warmly, wrapping herself a cardigan too large for her small, frail body. Kara smiles at her; the old woman always looks so warm and inviting. Like one of those cool grandmas that feed and treat the youngsters well with food and shares many old stories and tales. “Did you just come back? Were you out all morning?”

Vivid images and senses flash in her head: the smell of a certain expensive perfume, clothes dropping down to the floor, body sweat, and heavy breathing.

“Something like that,” she mumbles, audible enough for the old woman whose hearing is likely on the decline. She musters up her best sweet smile before she searches for her keys in her bag.

“Oh? Did you go out for a run? But your clothes— that doesn’t look like you did, you’re on your work clothes.”

Right.

Suddenly it feels like she's laid trapped in front of an accusing police helicopter, its spotlights trained on her. Like a deer caught in headlights. Same clothes from last night and sneaking back into her apartment in the wee hours of the morning.

This isn’t the walk of shame, is it.

 _Oh, Rao_.

Kara berates herself in her head quickly, clawing the realization out of her mind desperately. She tries not to freak out. It’s totally the walk of shame. She’s never done that ever in her life.

Keys found, she inserts it in her lock with shaky hands.

“I had a... sleepover.” She adjusts her glasses, and fixes her slightly crumpled collar.

“Oh, I used to do lots of that when I was younger.”

Maybe she should have just flown instead. But then she remembers she had closed her windows for the night. “Um, I should get ready and change for work and stuff. Catch you later? Thank you for those Krispy Kreme doughnuts again by the way. That was really sweet.”

“Okay, love,” the old woman laughs, waving her hands as if to shoo her away, “don’t let the old lady keep you here. You’re welcome. Now go ahead, sweetie.”

 

Kara’s just about finished interviewing one of L-corp’s leading scientists when she hears Jess’ voice floors away from where she currently is.

“Thank you for your time, as always, doctor,” she concludes brightly, shaking the scientist’s hand politely.

“It’s always a pleasure. L-corp is lucky to have a great reporter like you. I’ve never seen a reporter who knows their hard sciences as well as you do. You really know what to ask and how to report it.”

Kara grins, preening at the praise.

Heading towards the elevator, she double-checks that she has the goodies she’d bought just before getting here.

“Kara Danvers.” is what Kara hears the first thing when the elevator opens completely.

“Jess!” the reporter blinks, grinning lopsidedly as she steps inside the cubicle. “Good morning. The big boss is up and free right now, right?” she asks, knowing full well that Lena is, hearing the familiar heartbeat beating above tens of floors.

“At the moment, yes,” comes the dull Jess-esque answer. Kara expects nothing less, and beams at the secretary.

Over the years, no matter how much Jess gave off the  _don’t fuck with me, I’m all about work and my boss’ health_ vibe, she likes Jess. A lot. And deep down, through the years worth of bribery of surprising Jess with coffee or some sweets every time she had came to visit, she likes to think Jess has warmed up to her. Not like, ice to liquid kind of melt, but more like liquid to gas kind of thing. Not seen to the naked eye, but felt.

Upon reaching their floor, she walks out of the cubicle and notices Jess regarding her with a curious look.

“What is it?”

The look disappears when she opens her mouth. "You have exactly seventeen minutes with Miss Luthor before she has her next scheduled meeting. Sixteen now, actually.” Jess is already at her desk, tapping away insanely fast on her keyboard. Kara wonders if she could beat the secretary’s WPM without her super-speed. She herself  _is_ a reporter who writes articles daily.

“Yes ma'am, warning felt and acknowledged.”

 

Here it goes. Kara isn’t sure what she’s expecting if she’s being entirely honest with herself. Or if anything will happen out of the norm, really. But was it rude to leave just like that? Rao, it must've been. Throughout the morning, the moment she had walked out of Lena’s penthouse, she had forced and blocked a lot of thoughts. And now she’s thinking. Unable to stop the thinking. Right when she’s about to meet Lena—

She opens the door and spots Lena buried with paperwork and clipboards. Kara clears her throat when the young CEO doesn’t notice her entrance.

A dozen of thoughts swim in her head but strangely, it doesn’t feel chaotic. She doesn’t feel a sense of dread, either. But she holds her breath.

The moment they make eye-contact, Kara feels herself flush.

“Kara! Hey,” Lena gestures for her to come inside further, and Kara does. “Is that what I think it is?” she eyes at the paper bag Kara’s holding, a smile already lighting up in her features.

“Big-belly burgers,” she confirms, holding up and giving the bag a little shake. “I told you I’d bring you something as I’d be coming to visit for an interview with your employees. You saw my note, right?”

“Ah.” Lena grimaces, pulling in Kara for a quick hug before guiding her to the sofa. “I completely forgot all about it. I got a little lost with work,” she says, smiling sheepishly before she starts unwrapping the pack.

“Workaholic.” Kara rolls her eyes.

“Says the woman who left for work at, what? Four a.m?” Lena bumps Kara with her shoulder playfully, her lovely laugh filling Kara’s ears.

This exchange. It’s… it’s so normal.

 _Because we don’t have to make a big deal out of it,_ Kara remembers, thinks.

“Okay, true,” she grins. “Actually, I could have stayed a little longer. Sorry I had to leave early.”

“What are you apologizing for?” The raven-haired woman's pause of movement is sharp, and an eyebrow arches up in obvious dissent. “You weren't obligated to stay.”

That’s true. She’s not. But still, it feels… weird. Lena’s her best friend. Left with or without a note, it felt like it was a rude thing to do. Why does she even feel guilty about this? But when Lena regards her with a soft expression, her smile easy and lovely, she decides to shove the feeling away.

Kara shrugs. “Well… yes, but you did kind of look all sad and pathetic the moment I untangled myself from you.”

“What—” Lena’s mouth gape open, looking completely baffled and scandalized. Kara drinks the priceless sight and laughs heartily. “Unbelievable. At least I didn’t leave wearing the same clothes last night. Pretty scandalous if you ask me,” she quips, her eyes sparkling a wicked glint.

Her laughter comes into an abrupt halt. When Lena flashes her a dangerous knowing smirk, she feels her mouth run dry. Right now, she’s sat so close to Lena. She was  _closer_ to Lena last night.

 _No, no,_ she burns the incoming inappropriate thoughts in her head.

“Lena,” Kara whines, heat crawling up her neck. Friendly Old Neighbour comes to mind.

“You asked for it," the businesswoman chuckles. “You called me sad and pathetic. No one else would dare to say that to me, Lena Luthor, the genius CEO who runs a multi-billion dollar company among other things,” Lena drones dully with air quotation marks, probably quoting some newspaper headline.

“Fine. True, true.” Kara scrunches her nose, feels her glasses slide down slightly. “But you like my guts.”

Lena smiles. Adjusts Kara’s glasses back up using the tip of her forefinger. “That I do.”

Kara makes sure to leave exactly one minute before her sixteen minutes are up. She’s seen Jess’ wrath, has experienced it, does  _not_ want a repeat. By the time she steps out of the building, she realizes they didn't actually talk a lick about what happened last night. Only skirt around it and joked.

But honestly, do they need to? Absent were the feeling of discomfort and uneasiness in their interaction and conversation. It’s like how it’s always been.

Unrestrained and unforced.

And Kara wants to keep it that way. Because the last time she had kept something from Lena, their friendship had crumbled apart, almost in pieces that could never be put back together. All because of her secrecy being Supergirl. But they’re past that now. Thank  _Rao_ , way past. Kara’s not proud of that time, is not fond of recalling it.

Coming to think about it now, Lena’s the most cut-throat person she knows, actually rivalling head-to-head with Alex. Every time there’s an issue, or that if there’s something that is bothering Lena, Lena would have no hesitations in telling her. Lena always does. She’s never afraid to call out the slightest shady shit. That’s just how Lena Luthor is, and Kara really likes that about her.

And so far, Lena hasn’t said anything or voiced out any concerns.

There’s no need to complicate this, Kara decides. There's no need to, just like the first time they kissed.

Besides, it’s not like it’ll happen again.

 

Days pass by and Kara thinks about it sometimes. She and Lena meet a few more times, interaction and exchanges remaining as effortless and natural. Lena takes her to this new dessert restaurant and it ends with a long hug and a kiss to the cheek. Days later, Kara ropes her in for a snack run late at night at eleven pm, and by twelve am, they end up at a quiet beach, sat by the benches and feeling the cold, crisp air as they munch on snacks, enjoying each other’s company.

Kara still thinks about it. When she thinks about it, it isn’t in a way that’s all-consuming. It’s in a way that it just… sits there in her head. All plain and just  _there_.

It's just a one-time thing that holds no meaning. That’s it.

 

“Winn tells me that you and Lena flirt often,” Brainy creeps up behind her, his tone almost bordering an accusation.

Kara grimaces. “Kind of?”

“Kind of?” Brainy echoes, looking genuinely confused. Okay. Wow. This is not the topic she can have with Brainy. It takes her some actual willpower to resist the urge to face-palm. “I did not know there were levels of flirting.  _Kind of_. Hm.”

She shrugs nonchalantly, focusing on tinkering with the main control of the Fortress of Solitude, unable to find it in her to go further in this topic. It’s a minute later when Brainy reignites the conversation again.  

“Are you guys together?”

“What! No, Brainy!” Rao. Don’t bolt out.  _Don’t bolt out_. “Besides, what was all that  _go with the flow, love the ride_ thing,” she retorts. “How are things going with you and Nia?”

“That looks like projection, Kara,” Brainy tells her easily. He pauses, before fiddling with his comms. “To be honest, I don’t know. I heard a millennial say it once, and thought it would be applicable to you.”

Kara rubs her temples tiredly.

“Hey guys, so the list of aliens here— Kara, why is your face all red?” Nia, with her full Dreamer suit walks in with an ipad.

“It’s nothing,” she runs her hand through her hair, shaking her head. “So, the list of those aliens. Let’s see that ipad. Or just transfer it here to the panel.”

“Kara  _kind of flirts_ with Lena, Nia,” Brainy states bluntly. “This concept confuses me.  _Kind of flirting_. I didn’t know that was a thing. Did you know they  _kind of flirt_ very often? Why did I only notice this just now.”

Kara’s jaw slackens. Does Brainy want to be flinged into the sun?

“What?” Nia sputters, incredulous, and looks back and forth between Brainy and Kara. Kara just rubs her face before shooting Nia pleading looks to be led away from this travesty. Today is not her day. Today she just wants to do her job well and go home and eat the tacos she had bought on sale this morning.

“Okay…” Nia drawls before sighing, crossing her arms at Kara. “It’s not called ‘kind of’ flirting.”

“Then what is it called?” Brainy tilts his head curiously, his temples forming crinkles. Rao, he is so sincerely confused Kara wants to curl up and cry. He may be a twelfth level intellect but that doesn't mean he's an expert on social cues. Especially by human standards.

Nia takes a deep breath, as if she’s about to disclose some legendary ten-year-old unsolved mystery case. She throws Kara a mischievous grin before speaking up.

“Gay culture,” the masked-woman quips.

Kara swears-to-Rao almost chokes on her spit.

“What.” Brainy just blinks.

“Nia!” Kara admonishes, taken aback as she scoffs in disbelief at the younger woman.

“Gay culture,” Nia repeats herself, shrugging halfheartedly as if the answer was pretty obvious. “You see…” her eyes narrow coyly at Kara before rounding up to Brainy, snaking an arm around his shoulder, looking irritatingly conspiratorial. “It’s a culture thing where the helpless gays go around flirting with each o—”

“Okay,” Kara exhales loudly, clasping her hands together. She’s pretty sure that’s  _not_ it, but like. She won’t give into contributing to this further, like how she thinks Nia wants her to. Whatever. Right now they have work things to do. And her tacos await for her in her humble abode. “You can explain the rest to Brainy later, Nia. We have have a job to do.”

“Sure,” Nia easily says, smiling infuriatingly sweet— wait, when did the young one start to become so cheeky with her? “You guys may not be together, but you guys are totals flirt, man.”

“It’s  _total flirts_ now? I'm a twelfth level intellect, and I only just find out flirting has a spectrum?”

“No, Brainy, it's either a yes/no. Again, if the two gays are obviously not together yet flirt madly with one another, it’s just called ga—”

Kara sucks in a deep breath just for the sake of taking a deep breath. An expression of body language, and all.

“You two. The next one who talks anything about flirting and gay culture  _will_ buy dinner for the team later.”

And that does the trick. No one can afford Kara’s appetite for dinner.

 

Kara still thinks about it after a week passes. She thinks about it, not out to over-complicate it, but she thinks about it because she  _can_ and her mind won’t shut off because, well. It’s  _Lena_ and Lena’s her best friend who she just happen to also find insanely hot and attractive and—

Two days later, Kara starts working on trying not to think about it much.

 

Game night is cancelled this week due to the majority’s busy schedules. It’s seven pm when she finishes her last round of patrolling around the city. Kara’s bored and hangery (hungry and angry).

Her finger taps on a certain someone’s number before she really gives herself time to think about it.

“Lena. I’m free, you’re free, let’s do something.”

“ _Kara, I’m working._ ”

“It’s like, seven pm,” Kara whines. “I know the others are busy, but I also know you aren’t  _that_ busy busy where I can’t drag you out. Dinner and then Planet Earth season two at yours. Let’s go.”

There’s a few seconds of silence until Kara hears a defeated sigh on the phone. She smiles in triumph; persuasion went faster than she had expected.

“ _Okay, give me at least thirty minutes to finish up._ ”

She’s pretty sure Lena would have stayed in longer to work and work until the wee hours of the day. Kara is pushy and can be as stubborn as Lena, so sometimes (most of the time) she ends up being successful in dragging Lena away from her desk or laptop.

This is still a work-in-progress skill, one she hopes to further improve its success rate. It's interesting, really. Somewhere along the lines, she and Jess had built up this shared goal. This unspoken competition to destroy Lena's workaholic habits, formed early in their days by an exchange of subtle nods, eyes narrowing in disapproval, and an overworked Lena.

 

“You see this fantastically cooked meat dipped into good sauce,” Kara holds up a small piece with her chopsticks, licking her lips as she admires the quality and appearance. “Woah, its colour is like, sandy caramel horse.”

Eyebrows shoot up. “That’s not a real colour.”

They’re having hot pot at Kara’s one of many favourite Chinese restaurants in the city and with her persistence, she’d managed to lure Lena into trying hot pot for once when she found out that the Irish woman had yet to try it in her life. It’s a little sad, so of course Kara fixes this and here they are.

“It can be. Invention, and all.”

“Aren’t you creative and original,” Lena chuckles, and she nibbles on the meat, trying out many different sauces. “But in reality, colours don’t actually exist.”

Kara grins. “Yes, but it needs a good name. It’s how your human brain process electromagnetic radiation of particular wavelengths.”

“Good name?” Lena narrows her eyes at this, looking every bit of skeptical. Kara’s a little offended. “I think I’ll stick to calling it a caramel brown, darling.”

“You see the colour of this chair? Instead of purple, it can be called eggplant grape.”

Lena chortles in incredulity, shaking her head in a way that almost looks like she’s wondering why she puts up with Kara all the time. Kara just grins lopsidedly.

“Kara, you have a way of ruining colours for me. Your colour naming process terrifies me.”

“I’d like to ruin things for you, always. I am your caramel honey nightmare.”

“Aren’t you lovely, my charming caramel honey cumplum devil.”

“Thank you, my sweet sugar dear cumcake.”

Lena laughs openly, throwing her head back, eyes curling and crinkling up prettily. Kara loves her laugh, loud and unaltered, incredibly communicative as well.

“Dork.” She flashes Kara her signature gummy smile. It’s the kind of smile that Kara doesn’t often see Lena uncover with much people, the kind of smile where her front pearls show, dimple making an appearance, nose wrinkling, and eyes crinkling into a lovely crescent.

Kara likes to think that she’s a funny person overall; that that is why she’s able to make Lena smile and laugh like this, that she gets to see this genuine uninhibited side of Lena. Kara likes to think that she’s funny and that Lena finds her especially funny.

“Thank you for the food. Hot pot  _is_ quite the wonder and I don’t know why I hadn’t tried it. We should have it more.”

Kara grins, shoves her hands in her front pockets.

“More in the future. Let’s go.”

 

One foot in Lena’s elevator ride to the penthouse and suddenly she feels a little nervous.

Why is she nervous? It's just Lena and Lena does not make her nervous. Well,  _okay_ , she does, at times, but not in the kind of nervousness she's experiencing right now. Happy or turned on, yes, but never this kind of nervousness.

However, the feeling quickly dissipates when Lena throws her an easy smile as she links her arm together with Kara's.

 

“Is that Winn’s robot?”

A small mini robot stares right at her soul, standing on one of the drawers in Lena’s living room.

“It is. His gift for me last year for my birthday.”

Kara fiddles with the robot, making its robotic arms gesticulate around up in the air. It triggers some robotic speeches, random spacey sounds that aren’t really making any sense. “Great, Scott, I’ve created life itself,” she imitates an old man’s gruffy voice, stroking her chin dramatically.

“Orphan Black,” Lena smiles, a knowing look gracing her face.

“You’ve watched Orphan Black?!” Kara’s actually a little shocked. Who knew Lena could be capable of watching long series without being pushed into it (or without Kara introducing her to new series and her incessant persuasions to keep watching, because  _it gets better, keep watching, Lena._ ).

“Yeah.”

“Lena, I see you in a better light now.”

“I’m sorry I became more attractive having seen the entire series.”

Chuckling, she places her jacket on the couch. She catches Lena’s gaze.

“You know, you can borrow and wear my clothes,” Lena offers, scratching at the hems of her shirt as she studies Kara’s attire. “I do own comfy clothes. Not just by its appearance.”

“Oh…” Kara blinks. “That’d be nice.”

“Okay, be back in a bit. I need to get changed, too.”

Lena comes back shortly handing her some pants and an oversized navy hoodie— big enough even for Kara. Kara bites her tongue, resists the urge to make some snarky colour comment.

“Thank you,” she grins, grateful. Lena nods.

Kara’s got to give it to Lena. Her clothes  _do_ feel incredibly comfortable, its fabric all soft and cozy and homey. Her hands are almost hidden behind the cuffs, for its sleeves are a little longer. Easily catching whiffs of its scent, it smells just like Lena.

She’s never really worn Lena’s clothes. There’s a lot of other way around. It’s always the other way around.

When she comes out of the bathroom, she spots Lena on the couch already, snacks and episode one ready.

“You bought Mars Pods,” she gasps, clutching at her chest dramatically. Lena turns to the voice. “The good stuff. I can always trust you.”

“I’ve always got your back,” Lena hums, smirking. Then her face contorts into odd expression as she gives Kara a once-over. Maybe the hoodie’s a little too big for Kara. Kara tries not to fidget.

“Comfy?” Lena clears her throat. Kara nods. “Good. Now c’mere, let’s watch.”

It’s two episodes later when Kara finds her head resting on Lena’s lap and Lena playing with the locks of her hair. With Lena’s feet resting on the table and Kara drawing random lazy patterns on the fabrics of Lena’s pants, the placidness of this moment makes Kara think about how intimate this must look, and how it might look to the outsiders. This easy intimacy that they share is palpable; unshackled.

Kara is familiar with intimacy. But Kara’s not fond with the unanswered questions.

A gnawing thought plops itself in her head.

The credits scene roll and the woman above her lets out a soft sigh, pausing the show as she stretches her arms wide.

When Kara looks up, Lena looks down.

Kara waits for her to say something. When Lena doesn’t, Kara finds herself looking away, feeling a little shy all of the sudden.

There’s always something about the intensity of Lena’s gaze. She can never get quite used to it even after years of knowing the woman. Lena’s emerald-green eyes, piercing and entrancing in a way that could probably make anyone squirm within eye-contact close enough. Kara wonders if Lena knows that she has that kind of effect on people. Surely she must.

When she looks back up, she sees Lena still looking at her.

She laughs, tries not to hint any nervousness. “I know I’m handsome, but chill on the staring alright? It does wonders to my heart when a pretty girl stares at me.”

Lena sends Kara a poke on her cheek.

“Maybe I should keep my eyes on you more then,” Lena tilts her head, a salacious smirk lighting up in her features.

Kara feels heat rise to her cheeks. Lena can’t say that when her face is so close to hers. “Perhaps you should.”

Thankfully, Lena averts her gaze to her hand playing with Kara’s locks.

They still so blatantly flirt like this. And Kara being the big idiot she is, doesn’t know when to stop, or how to stop. So what if she's a big idiot who likes to flirt stupidly with Lena, like Nia says she is. It's fun. She can't help it. It wasn't always like this until recently. Has she always been a flirtatious person? No. She’s not even a great flirt. She’s not even the smoothest person. She's not great in anything that trudges in the romantic department. Her track record and history shows that well enough. 

A comfortable silence settles between them as Lena continues playing with her hair.

“Will you be heading home soon?”

“Want to kick me out, do you.”

“Do you want me to kick you out?” The hand pauses mid-stroke on her hair.

“I think I want to be kicked in.”

Lena laughs. “Just say you’d like to stay in like a normal person, Kara.”

“Okay, I’d like to stay in. If you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t mind,” Lena says. She smiles, continues to play with Kara’s hair, raking through blonde locks and scraping her fingernails at Kara’s scalp. Kara closes her eyes, sighing, enjoying the sensation.

The gnawing thought grows bigger and bigger in the back of her mind. She still thinks about it. Starts thinking about it right now.

“We’re okay, right?” Kara asks minutes later. They’re obviously not going to make a big deal of what happened before. But she can’t help but ask. She thinks they’re okay, but what about Lena? She needs to know it, needs it to be voiced out. Be finally be put to rest. This must be why she's been feeling a little out of sorts.

The clock hanging by the wall ticks in her eardrums.

“Yeah,” Lena says softly, and her thumb slides onto Kara’s cheek. Kara keeps her eyes closed, fiddles with her fingers as it rests above her abdomen. “You’re talking about…?”

Kara feels herself flush. “You know, uh, a-about what happened between us before.”

“Oh. When we had sex.”

“ _Lena!_ ” Kara covers her face with her hands, knowing the tip of her ears will redden.

“What?” Lena laughs, and Kara feels a thumb stroking her cheek fondly. “You can’t even say it. That’s— wow, Kara. Considering how your mouth runs wild when—”

“ _No_ ,” Kara grumbles, feels herself burning now, and Lena just laughs harder. She can’t find it in her to lift her hands away from her face, to look at Lena.

Eventually Lena’s laughter slowly dies down. A sigh. “Yes, we’re okay, Kara.” Her voice sounds so serious and sincere, but all the while pleasant.

“Cool, cool.”

Not that Kara was worried  _that_ much. Still, it’s nice to hear. Satisfied, she lets out a puff, drags her face down with her hands and settles it just above her abdomen once again. Finally opening her eyes, she sees Lena already looking down at her.

Kara lets out a shaky sigh. Swallows.

It’s ridiculous how much power a person’s gaze can hold.

Intense eyes boring straight into hers again, Kara feels something in the air change as she watches Lena's pupils dilate. Lena’s thumb makes the smallest of movement on her cheek, sending a subtle brush on her skin. Kara licks her lips without thinking, and she doesn’t know if she imagines Lena’s gaze flickering down to her mouth or not. She’s having a little trouble thinking clearly when Lena’s looking at her so close and all Kara is able to feel is the sensation of the thumb on her cheek and the smell of Lena, and Lena only.

“Then…” Kara starts, her word almost coming out as a whisper. Then her mind comes to a blank. Her mouth opens and closes when she can’t find the right next words to say.

“Then…?” Lena echoes, voice low and deep in a way that makes Kara’s heart beat faster.

When she bites her lip, this time she is definitely not imagining the way Lena flickers at her lips and how Lena’s heartbeat is thumping speeds faster than a normal human rate in her ears.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she produces a quivering sigh before she sits back up on the couch, away from Lena. She pushes away the other certain intrusive thoughts that keep crawling its way into her head.

“Kara?”

“Then that’s good. We’re good,” she finishes, turning around to face the raven-haired woman as she rubs the back of her neck.

Lena, unmoving and face composed, studies Kara curiously as her palm flats on the couch. When Lena surges forward in the slightest bit, Kara feels a stutter in her heart, and then a strong pounding in her ribs. Lena leans in closer, and closer again until her nose brushes Kara’s.

“Pull away,” she whispers, attention all too entirely focused on Kara’s lips now.

“Why?” Kara answers just as equally quiet, face inert and breathing softly. Anticipation rises in her chest, adrenaline coursing through her veins wildly.

“Not going to then, are you…” Lips almost ghosting over Kara’s, Lena tilts her head.

“No…” is all Kara says, and then: soft, plush lips cover hers followed by a hand coming to settle on her shoulder.

Fluttering her eyes close, she lets the hand on her shoulder push her down flat to the couch, lets Lena part her mouth with her tongue, lets Lena do whatever she wants to do with her. The woman above her dips down, and starts trailing kisses from her jawline to her neck, as Kara runs a palm on Lena’s hips, thumb rubbing slow circles on her skin. Kara lets out a sigh, more like a moan, as her other free hand crawl to the back of Lena's head, running her fingers through Lena’s hair, scraping lightly at her scalp.

Her head is spinning and she’s letting Lena do whatever she wants on top of her. All week, Kara was pretty convinced that they wouldn’t end up doing this again, and yet here it is, happening again and she can’t bring it in her to stop right now.

Why should she want to? They’re okay.

Lena kisses her neck lazily, dragging her lips down to her collarbones. Kara feels lips curve on her skin when she lets out an involuntary soft moan. When lips leave her neck, Kara opens her eyes. Lena hovers above her and there is a clear suggestive wicked play blaringly obvious behind those half-lidded eyes. A hand comes to caress her cheek, then to her bottom lip.

“Want to take this to somewhere else?” Kara blurts out, and she’s not sure if she wants to give herself a roundhouse kick for allowing this to progress, or to toss herself down from the highest mountain, or. Well.  _Probably both_ , she thinks.

And then: Kara isn’t entirely too sure which events go in order after Lena twists into dangerous smirk before nodding. A hurricane of movement comes, then: lips not leaving each other’s, the stumbling of a drawer to her hip (which did not hurt, and, thankfully, did not break), the bumping into a wall, the loss of balance, the giggling and laughing, and then the knock to her calf muscle when she collides with the edge of Lena’s bed.

She falls onto the mattress as Lena topples over her body, both lightly chuckling and making sure they hadn’t hit each other too hard in the process. And in an instant, Lena is all over her again, frantic soft lips chasing skin and wandering hands feeling her up.

They stay making out heatedly for a minute like free young-spirited teenagers. And another minute. Until Lena breaks it off, pulling herself back and straddling Kara on the bed.

“We’re okay,” Kara repeats, a little out of breath, as she looks at Lena, and as she strokes patterns on Lena’s thighs. And then more words tumble out of her mouth before she can even think about it: “But what does this mean to you? When… when we kiss, when we do this,” she gestures in the air between them.

The younger woman blinks once, then twice. Eyebrows furrow and a thumb strokes at Kara’s collarbones.

Lena cranes her neck, opens her mouth. “To me, it’s simple as wanting to. I just like the way you kiss me and you kiss me back. Does it have to mean anything more?” The words aren’t cut-sharp or cold. It’s a statement, blunt with authenticity. Like how Lena Luthor is overall, with or without her CEO mask.

That’s right.

“No, it doesn’t.” Something seeps into her bones. Relief.

They’re both okay with what happened, and what happened also means nothing. They’re just… best friends. It means nothing more. They’re just best friends who happen to make out and fuck each other senseless sometimes. There’s nothing too bizarre or unusual about this. Some people do these kind of stuff. Kara knows this game.

“I did kissed you first before at game night for the same reason. As simple as wanting to.”

As simple as wanting to.

“Mm.” Lena trails a forefinger at her shoulder, down to her arm, then to her hand. Though light and airy, Kara shudders at the touch. “Need any more clarifications, or…?” she utters huskily before taking Kara’s hand up to her chest, then next to her mouth. She starts planting feathery kisses onto Kara’s hand, breathing into Kara’s palm, closing her eyes in the process. Kara voices out a negative, unable to say anything else, quickly getting too lost in by the gorgeous, smooth woman above her. “Good.”

Then, Lena opens her eyes, kisses Kara’s wrist before she gradually takes two fingers deep into her mouth hotly, staring Kara down intensely. And Kara stares back, feeling every bit of Lena’s wet tongue on her two fingers. Kara subconsciously swallows, and lets out a shaky exhale.

Fire builds and pool low inside her. Shit, she’s so turned  _on_.

When Lena takes her fingers out, she breaks into a knowing sly smirk. She bends down, starts licking and nibbling on Kara’s earlobes.

Kara’s had enough.

Hand clasping at Lena’s back, she deftly switches their position around; Lena lets out a sharp intake of breath at the change, and Kara hovers over the Irish woman, grinning.

She pulls herself out of her hoodie and presses Lena against the mattress, running her hands up Lena’s sweater, the flushed skin underneath, as her mouth slides up against the woman’s jaw, sucking in pale skin to make a mark. A mark she knows Jess will definitely notice and be rendered speechless. Kara waits to be scolded. When nothing comes, when Lena only ends up whimpering into her touches, she makes one more on a different spot.

“ _Kara_ ,” finally comes the warning, and Kara can’t help but break into a chuckle. She keeps her lips on Lena’s neck, listens to every breathy sounds Lena makes, takes notes of every time her breathing catches or her pace falters.

“Wait— I need,” Lena rasps, tone demanding and needy, “— want to feel you more.” Hastily she discards her sweater and bra, and Kara helps her out of her shorts, as she extracts herself naked, too. Finally just bare skin on skin, Lena grabs Kara by the face and kisses her breathless.

Kara feels a shiver, like a cracked lightning course in her spine— it's hot, mesmerizing, seeing and feeling just how Lena’s into her.

Hands map every inch of alabaster skin and when both her hands reach onto Lena’s breasts, she stretches her hands for a lazy, but purposeful clasp, then fondles them languidly as Lena moans into her mouth.

They’re really doing this for the second time and Kara still can’t believe it. Maybe this will be a thing that they allow to happen only twice. Another one-time thing, but instead becomes a two-time thing. The second and last time. However she doesn't stay dwelling on these thoughts for too long; right now she can't find it in her to think about it, doesn’t really want to think about it now or anything else. Right now she wants to hear more of Lena, wants to test and rile her up, wants to see Lena unravel beneath her again.

Dropping her head down, she licks and nips her way below slowly, from Lena’s neck to her collarbone and until she seizes erect hard nipples on her tongue, in her mouth. A series of breathy helpless whimpering escapes from Lena’s mouth and Kara completely indulges at the sound, alternating between her nipples, licking her wet and messy.

Drawing a hand down to Lena’s hips, she circles her thumb at the skin for a moment, then drags her hand to Lena’s thighs. And when her hand goes deeper between the woman’s thighs, a hand twists roughly at Kara’s hair.

“Lena,” Kara chuckles deep and gravelly at the action. Lena responds by a squeeze on Kara’s shoulders and a cute, soft grumble that almost sounds like a moan.

“You’re doing this on purpose. Come on…”

“Come on what…?” Hand still stroking at Lena’s thighs, she comes back up to take a look at Lena. When her fingers glide slowly around Lena's entrance, Lena's jaw clenches tight, sharpening attractively like she's about to snap, and the heaving of her chest becomes more prominent. 

Kara likes the way Lena looks when she’s all worked up, flushed and sweaty and just about to break.

“Lena,” Kara whispers, and drags her lips down Lena’s chin, her jaw, and starts trailing hot open-mouthed kisses on her neck. “Just wanna make you feel good, Lena.”

Another strangled moan comes from the back of Lena’s throat and Kara shudders at the sound. She licks and mouths at Lena's throat, messy and hot, eliciting more lovely soft sounds from the raven-haired woman.

She shivers deeply, fully grasping the fact that she's the very cause of each and every noise Lena lets out. 

“So riled up, look so pretty when you’re like this for me.” Kara cups the nape of Lena’s neck, scratches at her skin briefly before she kisses the whimpering woman filthily, all hot and wet and sloppy with tongue. “Ask me, Lena,” she breathes into Lena’s mouth, and Lena twists divinely beneath her.

"Want you," Lena breathes, and tightens her hold on Kara. "Wet for you."

Fingernails dig so deep into her shoulder and back, Kara swears it could leave a permanent mark if she were a human. She wishes she could feel the pain. Feel the burn of each mark.

“Kara, just—” Lena pauses to control the shake of her voice, “come on. Fuck me. Fuck me, Kara—” she says with gritted teeth and voice so thick. “ _Please_. Need to feel you.”

A surge of arousal pool heavily inside Kara and she clenches her jaw tight. She slips down, dragging both her hands to Lena’s thighs and settles herself between Lena’s legs. Chest heaving, Lena has her eyes closed shut.

“Watch me fuck you,” Kara urges and Lena flutters her eyes open, the strong bob of her throat easily noticed by Kara. Lena looks all kinds of scattered, glossy, her swollen lips parted and her chest rising and falling, a few strands of hair stuck on her cheek and glistening sweat on her flushed skin.

Laying her tongue flat on Lena’s soaking protruding clit, Lena hisses sharply at the contact, and the back of her head makes a  _thud_ noise to the headboard. Kara starts licking, tasting the woman and slipping two fingers in easily.

“Kara _…_ ” Lena whimpers, head tilting back further, body arching, and it’s so quiet, it could’ve been a whisper, nothing more, but Kara hears it perfectly. Her own name falling off Lena’s lips sounding like that— it’s all kinds of wrongs, all kinds of wanton in a voice that’s so heavily familiar in every way, but it’s…

It’s fucking beautiful, that’s what it is.

The Irish woman opens her eyes again, gawking at Kara fucking her well, whimpering brokenly with each thrust of Kara’s fingers.

“Kara,” Lena croaks, and hands pulling at Kara’s hair grow tighter and tighter. “That's—  _yes_. Feel so good. Kara.”

She pushes her fingers deeper, minding her strength with extreme caution and care, quickening her pace as Lena becomes a breathing mess in front of her. Then, instantly replacing her tongue with her thumb, she quickly licks at her own lips before she asks, “you can take another one, can you?” and she pauses for a second, the deep hoarseness of her voice surprising her a little, “I bet you can.”

Lena's eyes widen and she swallows, her throat showing a visible bob as she nods eagerly. “Please.  _Please_ , yes.”

Then Kara pulls her two fingers out first before she adds the third. Three fingers slide in, easily slippery and sleek, and the moment she curls them, a guttural moan leaves Lena's mouth with her hips jerking violently, and— well,  _fuck,_ Kara almost comes the sound— the sound so fucking hot and dirty in her ears, all coming from Lena.

“Taking it so well, aren’t you,” Kara groans, thumb rubbing in tight circles against the throbbing nub and fingers pumping in and out, feeling the stretch of Lena’s walls and tighten around her fingers. “That's good, so good for me, Lena.”

"Yeah,  _yes..._ K-Kara,  _feel_  you so much—" Lena moans, and Kara switches, her tongue back at Lena's clit, which is so soaked and swollen, slick and hot against her mouth. The raven-haired woman's hips rise as her fingers card through Kara's hair rougher and rougher by the second— a sign that Lena's so close. Kara's chin is dripping at this point and  _fuck_ , it's maddening, the way Lena writhes gorgeously for her, and Kara drinks in the sight fully, marveling at how she's about to make Lena come for the second time, and how she's never felt so worked up for anyone else in bed.

She keeps up the relentless rhythm, sucking and lapping at her clit, thrusting her fingers and curling them until a filthy wanton moan, in form of Kara's name, escapes from Lena’s mouth, clenching around her, as thighs shake on either side of her head.

Kara keeps her tongue moving against Lena’s clit until Lena pulls her head away with a groan. Licking her lips, she slips her fingers out of Lena and sucks them into her mouth, licking the taste of her off.

Lena lies still on the sheets, in a series of panting thickly with her head tossed back on the pillow, all fucked out and flushed, eyes pitch black and heavily lidded.

Kara feels herself tense at the sight, when it fully hits her that this was her doing. That she has this effect on Lena.

It's staggering.

She lays down next to Lena, watches the woman recollect herself. There’s a swell of feeling flowing deep in Kara, something akin to a boost to her ego, knowing that Lena Luthor, her best friend, could definitely have anyone she wanted with a few flirtatious comments and a smirk. That she’s Lena Luthor, who would also then turn into a whimpering mess for Kara, who asks to be touched desperately by her, who tightens around her fingers, who arches against her.

“Sorry, give me a minute. That— that was really good,” Lena murmurs throatily, her voice contemplative and raspy. “You’ve— ah, ruined me. I hope you know that.”

“What?” Kara chuckles. “Take your time.”

“It's— you just, you’ve set the bar up so high for sex— I'm just thinking I'll have to start getting used to disappointment for the rest of my life, Kara. Not that disappointment is a foreign concept to me.” The Irish woman groans, fully lamenting as she rubs her cheeks, then her whole face with both hands. Kara would find the sight endlessly cute if she weren’t busy thinking about how her best friend had just given her such a fucking high compliment, and how of all the other compliments there is in life, it'd be  _this_ _._ From her very own best friend. Her own heart thumps violently fast at the admission. 

She actually doesn’t know much about Lena’s sex life. Past lovers, sure, but not much on that other end. She tries not to think about it, tries not to imagine other people in bed with Lena when she’s so sensitive at the moment, on the verge of coming with the slightest contact of anything.

A bite on her bottom lip. “High praises from Lena Luthor.”

Lena's head turns from the pillow, faces Kara with an arched eyebrow and a flustered, almost shy smile playing at her lips.

“It's true.”

Kara doesn't know what to say to that.

After a minute passes, Lena shifts, positioning herself on top of Kara, wearing an intense, ravenous gaze. Kara feels a heady rush as a soft sigh escapes from her mouth because Lena has this look in her eyes like she wants to rip Kara apart and that’s kind of what Kara wants as well. 

“Do you think I can put my fingers in you?”

Oh, Rao.

“No.” Flabbergasted, she groans at the idea. Rao, she would like that  _so so_ much. “You— you’ll break your fingers.”

Kara is genuinely taken aback when Lena’s facial features twists into a pout— an  _actual_ pout, because,  _wow_ , that’s cute. It’s not every day one would see Lena Luthor pouting. It’s not every day one would see Lena Luthor pouting because she can’t place and thrust her fingers inside her best friend.

She rapidly shakes her head, willing her ridiculous thoughts to stop. “Need you, Lena.  _Please_. I’m so worked up for you.”

Lena watches Kara's face for a moment, almost as if she's in a daze. “Okay,” she murmurs, and there’s a deep scratchiness to it. Fuck. And then her face twists back into what it was seconds ago, pre-pout.  _Fuck_.

Swollen lips mush against hers which then travels down to her jaw and neck, all hot open-mouthed and Kara just kind of squirms underneath Lena because she doesn’t think she can handle anymore foreplay. Rao, she’d be so embarrassed if she came untouched with just Lena’s mouth on her neck. She’s pretty sure she’d never live that down from Lena.

“ _Lena_ ,” Kara moans hoarsely, tone definitely sounding like a pathetic whine, but she can’t bring herself to care, “need you now. So bad. Lena, please.”

“Need me so bad, do you,” Lena whispers as her nails scrape lightly over Kara’s skin with her other hand trailing up inside Kara’s thigh. When Kara is about to open her mouth to complain again, she ends up releasing an unfiltered moan when Lena’s fingers slide against her clit.

Her fists clench tight white above the sheets as her head tilts backwards against the pillow, eyes closing, already panting heavily at the touch. Lena’s fingers begin to move faster as her lips travel from Kara’s jaw to her ear, licking and nipping, whispering explicit comments about how wet and bothered Kara is.

Rao.

She sinks completely onto the mattress, thinking about how focused Lena is with her absolute full attention to Kara, just how fucking hot Lena sounds whispering her dirty and filthy things, and how her long, skilled fingers work Kara up so good.

Lena keeps her relentless pace, long hard and consistent in her soaking clit, as the obscene slick sounds and Kara’s breathing fill the room.

Kara's just so sensitive and so it doesn't take her long; soon her mouth goes taut, a breathy moan stuttering out, and Lena latches onto her mouth, licking into it as pleasure ripples through Kara, her body going completely static, eyes closing shut and knuckles white.

Time passes, maybe a few seconds, or a few minutes before Kara feels a thumb caressing her cheek. Her eyes flutter open, dewy and unfocused. Lena’s still above her, looking completely and utterly debauched wearing a smirk as she tucks in loose strands of hair behind Kara’s ears.

They’re quiet for a few more moments as Lena bends down, nosing along Kara's neck with her mouth lazily roaming at the flushed skin.

Kara ponders, a little curious as to what the appropriate thing is to say after having sex with your best friend for the second time. Is there some kind of protocol to this? But they've already gone through this before— there isn't anything else that needs to be said. It's just as simple as wanting to—  _a simple quick fuck for the both_. Rao, that sounds awful in Kara's head considering it's  _Lena_  and Lena's her damn best friend. But she's not sure what else to think. So there's no  _need_  to think. Stifling a moan when Lena nips at a particular spot on her neck, ice-cream pops up in her head. Ice-cream sounds good right now. Before she thinks about suggesting it, her phone on the nightstand lights up with her ringtone.

It’s Winn calling.

The woman above Kara stays planted on her position. It’s clear Lena wants to stay on top of her for a little longer.

Letting out a shaky breath, still in the midst of recovering from her post-orgasm, she fishes for her phone with her hand as Lena hovers on top of her, trailing more kisses and bites on her neck.

“Hey! Winn,” Kara (does not) squeaks, when Lena makes a full lick at her neck. Why is Lena still on top of her? Not that Kara’s complaining, but.

“ _Kara, Kara! Are you in your apartment? I’m so excited! I just finished perfecting it, about to head out to yours now, need to show you my latest upgraded—_ ”

“I’m not in my apartment, Winn.”

There’s a few seconds of silence. “ _Oh… okay, where are you? You have to see it!_ ”

Kara bites the insides of her cheeks, tries not to squirm and freak out. “Um.” Lips curve on her neck and Kara feels another bite and lick. “At— I’m at Lena’s.”

“ _Oh! Okay, I’ll go visit you guys then, that’s perfect! Oh she’s gonna be so jealous of my new tech— wait, you guys better not be naked_ ,” he jokes, laughing, and Kara knows he’s really joking. “ _I’m about to head out._ ”

The Irish woman who’s been silent, too busy ravaging Kara’s neck, lets out a throaty laugh.

“ _Oh, Lena hey!_ ” Winn chirps. “ _Wait, you guys aren’t seriously naked right now are you? Because that was a total joke—_ ”

Rao. Is Winn seriously coming over here?

“Schrodinger’s Cat,” Kara blurts out, and Lena laughs harder. Lena resumes trailing kisses to her collarbones and— Kara would really,  _really_ like for Lena to stop touching her because she’s starting to get all horny again. “Come here and open to find out.”

A long groan. “ _Okay, nice joke. You know what, this can wait for tomorrow. I just realized Lena’s penthouse is a little more further than yours and— it’s late. Oh, when did it get— it’s late!_ ” More grumbling and something that sounds like metal drops over the other end. “ _Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight to you two!_ ”

“I’ll see you. Goodnight, Winn.”

Phone back at the stand, Kara lets out a sigh, closing her eyes as her arm covers her forehead. She doesn’t think she’d be able to get up if Winn came anyway, with Lena here acting like the most comfortable human blanket draped over her. Lena’s so  _soft_ , soft in all good ways and soft in all breakable ways.

“You're cute,” Lena chuckles above her.

Kara grumbles.

Opening her eyes once again, their gazes instantly lock. Lena’s wearing that piercing ravishing look again for her. Kara swallows hard.

“I’m not done with you yet,” Lena whispers lowly before she dips down, hand grabbing the nape of Kara’s neck and kissing her deeply.

Shuddering, Kara wonders if this is going to start to become a regular occurrence.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ending with smut again cos why not ye. relieved to see prev chap didn’t seem that weird/awful, that was my 1st time writing smut& id never thought id write smut ever in my life. rly, congratio for making it this far through this unbeta’d & poorly proofread fic (esp this chap)
> 
> twt: [coffeeshib](https://twitter.com/coffeeshib)


	4. Chapter 4

 

It’s just past dawn, light blue light filtering through the curtains when Kara comes to a wake. Lena is knocked out light, exhausted after six? or seven rounds of orgasms, her head tucked under Kara’s chin and arms wrapped around and legs tangled with Kara’s.

Something triggers a flight response in Kara, feeling fluttery and airy as she thinks about how she had allowed this to happen— no,  _encouraged_ it once again. Briefly she thinks about making an escape, to sneak off before Lena wakes up. There’s no need to stay and she’s not obligated to stay. But honestly, she thinks it’d be a pretty shitty thing to do no matter what, because it’s  _Lena_ she’s talking about here. She berates herself for even thinking about it. Berates herself strongly for doing it the first time.

She just doesn’t want to make these kinds of situations make it seem like she only came here to spend some time with Lena and to go  _at it again_ only to leave abruptly in the morning after everything. Even if Lena had told her she has no obligations in staying, she still feels guilty.

What she and Lena have is better than that. Lena’s not just anyone, and certainly not the anyone who’s suddenly reduced to being a fuck buddy to Kara.

They’re  _more_ than that.

The softness and comfort the sleeping woman provides gushes in, seeping into her skin and bones, feeling every inch of Lena’s soft and snug bare body against hers.

Still, it’s not something she can get used to. It’s not everyday she wakes up naked with Lena Luthor, after fucking each other like total horn dogs to the point of exhaustion.  _Rao_. She never knew Lena could be like this. Never knew  _she_ could be like this herself. She’s known the woman for years now. It kind of startles her, in a way, because for Rao’s sake— she’d never thought she’d develop some kind of physical intimacy with Lena in all kinds of total non-platonic ways.

Sure, she’d felt some kind of pull— an attraction towards Lena the first time they had met, with her accompanying Clarke for an interview with Lena (not counting the awful assassination attempt on Lena on the helicopter).

The physical attraction was something that always stuck. But what really,  _really_ hit Kara in her alien heart and swept her off in her feet was how she had found herself tuning in with Lena so easily. After their first few conversations, all laced in hesitance and politeness in different places at different times, about things that had nothing to do with work at all, the coincidental meetings and lunches, the genuine curiosity in each other’s lives. Eventually it piled and piled and it became something bigger— a smooth shift and transition, like how a pretty flower blooms in its gradual process. Soon they had conversations that felt fruitful and meaningful in a deep soul-to-soul connecting way, soon coincidental became non-coincidental meetings and lunches, and soon, Lena, in a silent and subtle way, had deeply ingrained herself in Kara’s life.

Often times, Kara wonders what tomorrow’s trouble will be, or what’s the next big bad thing she has to prevent from happening. Like a weightless leaf on a windy day; wherever the leaf drops is where she would land on. To the unknown and foreign ground. Before and after knowing her being Supergirl, Lena Luthor is simply, and wonderfully, a breath of fresh air in Kara Danver’s chaotic and tempestuous life.

Kara had never signed up for this, had never expected Lena Luthor in her life, but. She thanks Rao, the stars, the universe. She’s never had a friend like her before.

The overly-familiar rhythmic heart beats in her eardrums, and the sound of soft sleep-induced breathing lulls her back to sleep.

Maybe minutes pass, or an hour, and before she knows it, she stirs awake again.

This time she wakes to a hand trailing softly up and down her spine.

Is Lena awake?

Kara keeps her breathing even and posture all limb, pretending to sleep.

Lena is stroking her back, one thumb brushing back and forth across her spine, feather-light and soothing in a way Kara becomes hyper-aware of the gentle touch to her bare back. Letting herself enjoy the sensation for a little while more, she lets a minute pass.

Then she makes a quiet, sleepy, about-to-wake-up noise. Just to see what happens.

Lena’s hand goes still.

Lena is definitely awake and her face remains tucked under Kara’s chin, her hand frozen-still on Kara’s back. Kara keeps at her even breathing and stilling her body. And after a moment passes, the thumb starts moving again. A slight shift comes from the raven-haired woman, and Kara feels a nose bury at her collarbones as the body against her own presses closer.

She thinks Kara is asleep. She thinks Kara is asleep.

Now, Kara understands this: her best friend was never one to be touchy, was never one for cuddling and intimate physical gestures. Lena was never for a lot of things: hugs, cheek kisses, arms linking, touches to her shoulder and back. Physical intimacy.  _Emotional intimacy_. Lena wasn’t a lot of these things until she’d met Kara and Kara herself knew that; she noticed everything and was  _and_ still is sensitive to anything that involves Lena.

Sometimes Kara still worries that she goes overboard with both kinds of intimacy, worries that she overwhelms Lena. But Lena always reciprocates back with captivating warmth and genuine appreciation, tries her best in her own ways to show that she doesn’t mind at all.  _When it comes to Kara_ , she thinks. It goes unsaid in every sentimental gesture. Kara isn’t blind.

And Kara understands this: this kind of gesture is incredibly, awfully, and overwhelmingly intimate even for Lena. (Lena had frozen the second Kara showed wakefulness. Surely that means something.)

She peeks an eye open, shifts her head to look at the woman. As if sensing her gaze, Lena’s head tilts backwards, and then emerald-green eyes look into her.

A string of strong heartbeat thumps, parading in her head for the first few seconds. Until it comes to a calm beating shortly after.

“Hi, hello.” Kara clears her throat when her voice comes out scratchy. Then smiles crookedly, trying not to wither into ashes, or something, because Lena looks absolutely  _gorgeous_ in the morning with her— Kara dares think it— lovely, messy sex hair and soft, sleepy gentle eyes looking up at her with lips curling up in a bashful way. Kara marvels at her beauty, long lashes and cute nose, pretty pink lips, close, so close to her.

It’s simply breathtaking.

“Good morning,” Lena utters softly, almost coming out as a whisper in a way. And her thumb, still on Kara’s back, makes a brush at the skin. And as if she hadn’t meant to make that slight movement, Kara feels Lena’s hand curl and ball. “You feel really nice and warm. You know that?”

“Run warm, yes, not so sure about nice.”

Lena makes a non-committal disapproval sound, tucking her head back under Kara’s chin and nose mashing against Kara’s neck.  _Rao_ , Kara just might melt right here and now; she tries not to let herself indulge too much on Lena’s uninhibited touchy-feely affections. Tries not to gulp.

But not for a moment later, Lena eventually moves away, legs over out of the bed and bare back facing Kara. The Irish woman half-turns her head to Kara, grinning in a way that pops out her dimples.

“It’s six am. I have things to prepare for early, so I’m going to start to get ready. You up for some breakfast?”

Nodding enthusiastically and choosing to slip in Lena’s over-sized navy hoodie, Kara follows Lena into the kitchen.

 

She’s never had breakfast in Lena’s penthouse. The odd realization kind of hits her hard and she chuckles to herself, finding it strange considering Lena’s had some in hers.

She may not visit Lena’s confines often, but she’s comfortable enough to walk around without feeling shy or uneasiness. She knows where the basic cutlery items are, the hidden expensive tea sets and cups in the cupboards, the containers and each and every utensils around the drawers. All the rooms and what Lena uses them for.

So imagine her surprise when she opens Lena’s refrigerator. She’s nowhere near prepared for the disappointment that slams her at the sight that is the current contents of Lena’s fridge.

The sad and lifeless sight is absolutely jaw-dropping, in Kara’s honest and raw opinion.

Dull. Did Lena’s fridge look like this frequently? The scarce of any vibrant, good decent food in her space. It’s rather worrying. It’s ultimately devastating and an injustice to the expensive, well-built refrigerator that probably costs Kara months and months worth of her salary.

Gasping out loud, mouth opening and eyes in complete disgust, she points to the fridge when Lena curiously turns to her.

“ _Lena_.”

She’s opened the fridge a few times in the past every time she’d come to visit before, where she’d sometimes come to grab snacks, or some liquor for Lena. It always looked decently stocked, for Lena’s standard, probably, but in Kara’s standards it was like a desert— only that the non-snack things were water, alcohol, and Lena’s GreenThings™.

So perhaps a forest, not a desert then.

(A lifeless forest, though.

If that even makes sense.)

“What?” Lena furrows her brows, confusion lighting up her features genuinely and Kara almost cries at the sight.  _Almost_. Lena looks at her fridge and doesn’t get it. Tilts her head when Kara doesn’t answer, who’s still trying to process this monstrosity done to the fridge. When Lena prompts again, Kara points petulantly at the insides of the fridge, huffing like she’d been done so wrong in her life.

“Yes…? It’s a little empty right now?” Lena slides in a plate of fresh and newly-cooked pancakes to Kara over the kitchen counter. Goes back to cooking more for her casually, like nothing’s wrong. Like Kara’s fine, peachy, all good in the Kara-hood. “What’s wrong? Did you want to eat something else, I can—”

“ _No_ ,” Kara sputters, crossing her arms over her chest. “Lena. Your refrigerator. It’s, it’s state is just so  _sad_ and  _unfilled_ ,” she exasperates, lamenting, heart aching at the sight of the spacey shelters and stands. She strokes gently at the handles of the expensive fridge.

“I just buy some food and snacks when I know you’re coming,” Lena shrugs nonchalantly, like this totally explains and justifies everything. “I don’t really eat much? You already know this.”

“Like owner like fridge.” Ignoring Lena’s unimpressed arch of an eyebrow, Kara heaves a sigh as she shoves the pancakes into her mouth, shooting glares at the fridge as if to will for some decent food stocking to appear in it. Then closes it. “I should’ve expected this.”

“I guess I’ll have to go grocery shopping tonight then?”

Hearing a soft sigh come from Lena, she turns to look at the woman properly, willing the refrigerator injustice out of her thoughts for a moment.

Lena has her hair tied up in a messy bun, huge framed glasses hanging on her nose, over-sized cotton sweater with sleeves rolled up and a spatula in hand.

This kind of attire isn’t new to Kara’s eyes. But in this moment, she looks so soft and lovely right now and they’re in Lena’s penthouse, and. Oh.

Well. Kara finds the sight absolutely endearing.

Biting the insides of her cheeks, she adjusts her glasses and blurts out, “Mind if I come along with you then? I’m free tonight and I need food too, so uh. I can tag along. Or something. Just. Just for groceries and. And for your  _sad_ fridge, that is.” She honestly doesn’t mean to flounder. It’s just  _asking_ to go shopping for grocery food. But going on an  _actual_ grocery shopping with Lena? That’s easy cake. Lemon cake.  _Or however the saying goes_ , Kara thinks to herself.

“Look at you getting all shy on me after you went down on me last night.” Lena’s lips twitch upwards and elbows Kara on the sides, chuckling as she flashes Kara a dangerous wink.

“Lena,” Kara groans, face flushing instantly. “Just,  _why_. Why are you like this.”

The Irish woman bursts into a laugh, sound so soft and melodic with her eyes crinkling up and dimples appearing prettily. “You’re cute,” Lena tells her as if it were the answer and grins, fixing Kara's glasses back up her nose. “But, yes. Of course I don’t mind. You can tag along with me tonight.”

Given the green-light to tag along, Kara lights up immediately, earning a soft smile and a shake of head from Lena.

She starts mentally calculating the different kinds of food there is for Lena and how much can fit in each shelter.

She decides to make it a mission to make sure this fridge is filled and restocked more often. To give it the good life and justice it deserves. To make sure the owner appreciates it more and make sure the owner herself gets her variety of good food daily.

Kara whispers into the fridge, cooing:  _you need help, you’re going to be okay,_   _you will be saved, wait for me,_ as Lena watches her, judging her over by the counter.

 

* * *

 

It’s still a little too early in the morning.

Kara flies back to her apartment when Lena prepares for some big meeting. Not wanting to disturb and bother her friend any further, here Kara is, early in front of the doorstep of her own confines’ door.

“Kara, love. Good morning.” Friendly Old Neighbour smiles sweetly, wrapping herself a cardigan that fits her frame this time. She stands outside her apartment door again, a cup of hot tea in hand and hearing aid in the other.

“Hi! Good morning,” Kara greets back, putting on the best dazzling smile she can muster. Fishing for her keys, on the other hand she steadily holds onto the bag that contains Lena’s hoodie. Yeah, she totally stole Lena's hoodie. Who's going to come get her? The hoodie police?

Kara tries not to fidget when she feels the old woman’s face swimming with curiosity and questions in the corner of her eyes.

This has got to stop happening. She makes a mental note to stop locking her windows for the night so she could just fly back in whenever.

“It’s seven twenty in the morning and you’re already dressed for work, love. Reporters don’t usually need to be up this early for work, do they?”

“No rest for the wicked?” she jokes, shrugging.

Friendly Old Neighbour takes a sip of her tea as she gives Kara a long once-over. When Kara notices a button on her shirt that’s  _supposed_ to be buttoned up, she curses under her breath in Kryptonian and fumbles, fixing it. 

“So you had another sleepover, love?” the woman chuckles loudly, and this time she winks teasingly and eyes thin knowingly in a way that Kara just starts to have an internal meltdown right here and now, because.  _Rao_ , this is definitely her second walk of shame and she’s very close to throwing herself to a volcano after being caught twice. Why did she decide to wear her yesterday’s work clothes getting back.

Friendly Old Neighbour  _knew_ the first time it happened. Kara grimaces, feeling a bucket of shame pour over her head.

 _Fuckity fu— Golly,_ she means in her head.

“Yes. Another sleepover,” she laughs nervously, and inserts her key in the lock. Kara feels herself melting on the floor by the second from the pair of watchful eyes trained on her. “Ha. Good stuff. So, gotta go,” she says weakly, shooting overly-enthusiastic finger guns, smiling crookedly.

_Golly._

 

* * *

 

 

Through the glass walls of Cat Grant’s old office, Kara sees Nia and Lena chatting amicably, throwing each other nods and smiles and laughter like good friends. Nia makes a shrug, eliciting another chuckle from Lena who starts nodding like she’s extremely fascinated with whatever Nia is telling her.

As Kara holds a cup holder tray with two coffee cups on it, she studies the sight suspiciously and scratches her eyebrow. Did she miss something?

Since when did Lena come into a laughing basis with Nia? And since when did Nia and Lena become close? Not before just two or three weeks ago, they’d been all awkward with each other— all polite in a way that grossed Kara out, because, hey. She liked all her friends getting along without being too mindful of the other’s occupation and history.

Nia turns around, back view to Lena as she exits. And when she spots Kara by the entrance, she wiggles at Kara— legit actually fucking  _wiggles_ her eyebrows infuriatingly in a way like something spicy is about to happen.

Wow. Nia needs new hobbies.

Lately, whenever the opportunity rises and presents itself (whenever there is  _Lena_ ), the younger woman just heads straight in— relentless in her goal to make Kara’s life like living hell. And it feels like Kara lets herself fall too easy as a target because she dislikes how she just reacts strongly to it.

She smiles tightly and shoves a hand in her pocket, ignoring the strong insinuation of  _I’ll now leave you to your girlfriend_ looks from Nia and walks towards Lena who greets her pleasantly with a warm hug.

“Hi, boss.”

Lena pulls back and cringes. “Don’t call me that.”

Chuckling, she carefully hands Lena a long black because she knows Lena’s going to need it for the day.

 

* * *

 

Kara lands at the DEO in her Supergirl attire, holding a paper bag full of contents as she walks in strides to meet up and have lunch with Alex and Winn. When she spots Colonel Haley in the distance, she makes for a sour face and sharply turns back. Holding her paper bag tighter in her arms, she decides to take another route around the halls.

It doesn’t take long for her to spot Alex and Winn at their usual place.

“I saw the designs and read the gadget’s capabilities, Winn,” Kara greets, smiling cheekily and nodding in approval as she sits next to Alex. “But I’d say you could do better with the shield.”

Her friend huffs, crossing his arms. “Alright, I know I have to work on the shield more, but the others? They’re very good, aren’t they? My babies.” He clicks his tongue, and fiddles on his iPad as he munches on a snack.

“You could work with Lena. Combine your brilliant minds, and all.”

Winn pouts. “I'm too competitive and so is she. Competitiveness allows and strives us to make the best new inventions and discoveries.”

“That's true, but so does working as a team,” Kara laughs.

“Maybe, maybe,” Winn groans. 

“Ask her and I'm sure you'll find yourself working on several different projects with her,” Kara says.

“I think I might just ask sometime. Do you think she'd work with me? She still kind of intimidates me!”

“Schott, everyone is intimidating to you,” Alex inputs, chugging on a bottle of water. Winn makes an offended sound and Kara just shakes her head, chuckling.

Alex eyes at the paper bag and Kara feels herself taking on a defensive stance. She wraps her arms around it firmer, ready to fend any incoming attacks.

“You flew all the way to France to buy quality croissants,” Alex remarks, not surprised the slightest bit as she studies the bag with an unreadable expression.

“Mm,” Kara takes one out of the bag, shoves a good portion into her mouth. “There’s this really nice family-owned bread store. The owner— this old sweet man,” another portion is shoved into her mouth, “—always gives me the fresh ones first. Can’t help but be a royal regular customer.”

“Hey, what did I say about eating with your mouth full.”

Kara shrugs, devouring more bread. “It’s so good, Alex,” she says, still with a mouthful.

Alex rolls her eyes.

“Hey, are you going back to CatCo after this?” Winn asks.

“Yeah, but I get off work early today. Just need to pass off some papers and emails and stuff.” Kara pauses. “Do you need my help with something?”

“No, no.” Winn waves his hand negatively, heaving a long sigh. “It’s just, man. Just thinking about the times when I used to work at CatCo. The good ol’ much more peaceful days,” he drawls nostalgically, chuckling.

“Craving to go back to your mundane life, Schott?” Alex snorts, and Kara doesn’t miss the way Alex’s eyes land on her paper bag for a split-second.

“No way! Just saying. The great paycheck is too good to pass off and the use of these,” he thumbs at his head, grinning, “guns? It would be a waste.”

Chuckling fondly at her friend, she agrees. “You remember Jordan? Short clean-cut hair and coffee-stained sleeves, the IT guy. He recently moved for a new job.”

“What? No way!” Hands flattening on the table, Winn gasps. “Oh man, I loved that guy. What’s he doing now?”

“Not sure, I only just found out about it.”

Having consumed two croissants, she reaches for the third.

“Aww.” Winn stares into space before he bursts into a giggle, looking at Alex and Kara. “Tragic. So he never confessed to you in the end.”

“Confessed what?” she halts her movements. Dread immediately creeps up into her stomach. She pinches the bridge of her nose, groaning painfully. “Don’t tell me. Was he the person who stole my oreo cookies that was clearly labelled, in capital letters KARA DANVERS in our staff fridge that two years ago in July the twenty fourth. Before the afternoon. Before I ate my orange jelly-cup.”

“I’m not even going to question how you remember that day so specifically.” Alex puffs, flicking at Kara’s forehead. Ouch?

Winn sends her the what the fuck look.

“No, what the heck? Kara, did you not know that he had a massive full-blown crush on you?”

At this, Kara accidentally bites her tongue  _hard_. Had she been human, she’d definitely bleed a handful at the slip.

“Really?”

The two exchanges baffled glances, then stare at her intensely. Kara feels herself shrink at her seat.

“What?”

“Kara,” Alex slowly starts, palm rubbing her forehead. “Surely you know that there are at least seven people in CatCo who are currently crushing on you. Well, there could be more but I don’t really hang in the building that much. Also, in the DEO too— agents that I know who seem to have an intense admiration towards Supergirl.”

“ _What_ ,” Kara blinks rapidly, taken aback and almost drops her paper bag full of croissants to the ground. “Are… are you serious? Who? In CatCo, I mean. Is it people I know? Oh no, do I do that thing again— that thing you told me where, when I’m being too, too nice and people mistake it for flirting?” she twists into a grimace, suddenly flipping through all the times she interacted with her many colleagues in CatCo who she has on a friendly-basis. Which is almost the entirety of her floor and several other floors.

“Wait, are you counting me in? Because I’ll have you know I—”

Alex scoffs, ignoring Winn and looks at Kara unimpressed. “Do you seriously not see it? This is why I worry about you a lot.” Her sister pauses in thought for a moment while Kara’s distracted and busy going down a memory lance. Then Alex’s eyes drop dead to Kara’s croissants and attempts for a swift grab at a piece inside the bag.

But Kara yanks her paper bag away from the prying hands fast enough, narrowing her eyes dangerously and pouting at her sister.

“Hey! I asked if you wanted me to buy you some before but you said no. Twice. These goodies are specifically for me.”

“Well. Those croissants look fabulous,” Alex reasons, still looking at the paper bag. “And suddenly I’m hungry.”

Too bad. Kara sticks her tongue out.

Alex tsks, “Stingy. Fine, for every croissants you give me, I’ll tell you who I think that looks at you with total heart eyes.”

Kara considers it for a moment and almost.  _Almost_ gives in. Trading food away for information? This transaction is a total scam, she thinks. She can find out and figure who those people are on her own. Probably. Maybe. Anyway, food transactions are serious business, one she does not take lightly.

“I don’t accept.”

Alex sticks her tongue back, unsurprised at the negotiation end. Childish. Nice.

Winn groans, shaking his head. “I can’t believe you never knew, Kara. Though I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

Kara just grumbles, leaning back on her seat.

 

* * *

 

 

Nia (2:33pm): bruh, where are you.

Kara (2:33pm): i’m… at my apartment? what’s up?

Nia (2:35pm): what why?

Kara (2:35pm): i finished early today

Nia (2:35pm): oh

Nia (2:35pm): i was scrambling around the floor looking for you

Kara (2:36pm): ?? did something happen

Nia (2:38pm): nothing crazy, it’s just i was given the go on an alien coverage interview i’ve been hounding for approval for days. it’s in an hour and a half!! i was wondering if you’d come do it with me? even though you’re finished for today, unless something popped up. partner requirement plus you’re my good buddy

Kara (2:38pm): NIA NAL!! oh wow that’s amazing!??

Kara (2:38pm): pff of course i’ll come :)) im free as a birb right now

 

Including the formalities and the small pleasantry chit-chats, the length of the interview takes up a whole hour.

It goes well and it ends up with Nia smiling widely, completely feeling affected and touched by her interviewee’s story and experience living in National City. Kara smiles at it, sharing the sentiment with her friend.

She’s interviewed many aliens like this before. Asks or gets asks to share their story. And the excitement to share it to the world, like being a voice, always sends her a floaty and warm sense of feeling. Like she’s doing  _good_ in the world. Which she is.

It’s the one of many things she can do as Kara Danvers expertly, and she takes in the importance of this other side of her life well.

Supergirl Kara Zor-El is everything to her. CatCo reporter slash journalist Kara Danvers is everything to her.

She’s not unfamiliar with existential crisis, given how she falls into it helplessly every once in a while.  _And that’s okay_ , Alex had told her before, every time she would forget who she is.  _Both sides are what makes you who you are_ , Lena had reminded her when she had felt inadequate and hopeless for herself. And she does her best to always remember this, especially in her darkest moments.

Kara buys a box of doughnuts for Nia afterwards, proud of her friend’s good work. She just can’t help but be such a sappy shit for Nia, who’s looking so genuinely happy at the experience she got to take.

After the interview, Nia hangs in Kara’s apartment, compiling information for her article there instead of CatCo.

“Okay,” the younger woman clicks her tongue, extremely focused and tapping away in her laptop on Kara’s dining table. “Almost done the first half.”

“Want some hot choco?” Kara offers.

“Sure, yes please. Thanks for coming with me again, by the way.”

“No problem. You did say I’m your good buddy, what was I supposed to do? Is the good buddy supposed to let you fend yourself to the sharks?”

Nia snorts, swatting her away. “It’s riveting, these kind of interviews. I just want to do more in the future.”

“And you will,” Kara grins, “just make sure to keep really,  _really_ fighting for it. Very necessary to be stubborn and persuasive if you want to keep at it in this profession.” She twists into a face when she thinks about Snapper Carr.

“Yeah, I’m really starting to learn that,” Nia agrees, sighing. “Really. Thanks.”

“Anything for my good bud.”

 _“Please_. Don’t let it get to your head, I just needed someone there to be with me,” Nia rolls her eyes, radiating mirth.

“What, are you saying I was just an option? Replacement for Brainy!” Kara puffs dramatically, feigning hurt. Finished making the hot choco, she lays the hot mug and a cocoa powder on the table for Nia. “I can’t believe this betrayal.”

“You’re so funny, Kara,” Nia says blandly, closing her laptop with a smile. Lifting her hot choco mug up, she starts blowing on it to make it cooler.

Grinning, Kara clicks her fingers. “I am. I’m the funniest person you know in your life.”

“You keep saying that to yourself and maybe your dream of becoming the funniest person might come true.”

Kara huffs, indignant. “At least Lena validates me.”

“Right,” the younger woman snorts at that.

“What? She does! At least someone thinks I’m funny.”

“Okay, Kara. I don’t doubt it.”

“Alex doesn’t share the same thoughts, but I understand because she doesn’t have the range to fully appreciate my brilliant self,” Kara wipes a fake tear. “Oh, also I’m funnier than her by the way in case you didn’t know.”

“It’s not about knowing, it’s about feeling. But whatever you say, Kara.” Nia snorts, and takes a careful sip at her mug. Looks at the clock hanging by the wall. “Hey, wanna grab dinner out later?”

“Oh,” Kara scratches the back of her neck. “I’d love to, but I’m going out with Lena later.”

Nia pretends to blanch at that, and Kara sends a jab at Nia’s arm lightly, knowing exactly what her friend’s thinking.

“Just shopping for grocery. I’m severely lacking food right now. Unfortunately, she is, too.” Kara wonders if Nia would share her current predicament and thoughts on Lena’s devastating and mundane refrigerator.

“Grocery shopping? I haven’t even done that with Brainy.” Nia frowns, chin on palm on the table in thought.

Snorting, Kara leans into the kitchen counter casually, raising an eyebrow at Nia. “What’s that supposed to mean.”

“Nothing much,” Nia responds innocently, a smirk curling a corner of her mouth, eyebrow quirking up suggestively.

“It’s just grocery shopping.”

“It is,” Nia agrees, bringing the rim of her mug to her lips. She takes another sip, batting her eyelashes slowly at Kara teasingly.

“Shopping with friends aren’t that uncommon.”

“It’s not just any kind of shopping, Kara. It’s  _grocery_ shopping. That’s the big stuff, man. Big stuff.”

“My point still stands.” She pouts.

“It does,” Nia says, almost in a sing-song way. She doesn’t say anything else but the curl of her lips is enough to make Kara roll her eyes.

Okay. Nia seriously needs new hobbies. And she definitely needs better taste in hot chocos. The cocoa powder sprinkle is still right in front of her but she’s barely touched it. It’s mandatory stuff for hot chocos, damnit.

Frowning, Kara runs a hand through her hair almost in exasperation. “Is it that hard to believe that you can share this level of closeness with someone without it being romantic?” Opening a fresh bottle of water, she starts chugging the contents down.

“Nope,” Nia replies, popping the p. “Alright, fine. I guess— it’s not like you two have cracked and have gone around pressing your faces together, or something.”

At this, Kara inhales sharply, coughing when streaks of water goes down to the wrong pipe end. Nia watches her regain her composure, eyebrows raised and suddenly oh so suspicious. Well, shit.

“ _Kara_.”

Kara wants to steer this conversation away, to move onto a new topic but the firm stance and the steely pointed look Nia’s giving her right now tells her that the younger woman wouldn’t be swayed so easily. She can’t escape this now.

“Maybe,” she hems her throat, voice weak and tiny, “maybe we have.”

Nia openly gawks at her, mouth agape and eyes bulging. If this were any other situation, Kara would laugh at the priceless sight.

“Kissed. You guys have fucking kissed?” Nia drawls slowly, frozen dead in her chair. “What, what. Oh, man. What. But you just said—” she shakes her head, blinking, and Kara feels a non-existent headache creeping in her head, “did you profess your undying love or something!?” she starts to squeal, feet bouncing up and down rapidly and hands clapping excitedly. “Are you guys finally dating? The audacity to lie just now, Kara!”

“No, what? What do you mean by finally? How could you even think that— no, Nia,” Kara stammers, extremely baffled. “Stop that. No confessions happened. I… I— I don’t… like her like… like that! I can’t, that’s crazy,  _and_ —” Kara pauses for a bit when she sees Nia deflates, frowning, “I didn’t lie and we’re nothing like that. She’s just my best friend, Nia. But, uh. The, uh. W-we just,” Kara stutters wildly, finding it difficult to word her sentences properly, because just  _how_ does she explain what she has with Lena.

“Are you and Lena, like. Banging? Holy shit!” Nia loudly exclaims, and gasps like she can’t believe what she’s hearing right now. Gone were her excitement and what comes is heavy confusion flooding her face.

“Nia, please. It’s just hanging out. Hanging out a little, and. And. Hanging. Out.” Kara’s too nervous to talk about this. Paling, she regrets this. Damn throat pipe ends and damn Nia for being suspicious at everything.

“You guys hang out all the time,” Nia refutes smoothly, not having it. “You and Lena. Wow.”

Kara doesn’t admit to anything further and walks to the fridge, putting her bottle inside it.

“Since when? All irritatingly and insufferably, you guys eye-fuck all the time and just never seem to push for anything more. And I’ve only known you guys for almost a year now— so excuse me if I’m so caught in surprise by this.”

“Wait, what? Eye-what?! We do  _not._ Nia!” Kara stresses, turning around as she feels her whole body being burned into an incinerator. They do  _not_ eye-fuck. What is wrong with Nia. Why does she keep saying all these things. She’s getting as delusional as Winn. Kara’s getting really, really worried.

Nia just stares at her, laughing strangely like she’s still processing this in her head. “Kara, what the fuck, man.”

Kara winces hard. “What? It’s not that... serious. It doesn’t have to be and it definitely doesn’t have to change things between us. You know we value our friendship the most. These kind of things aren’t a joke to me. So strangely, or not so strangely it was just. Easy to be with her as well as talk about it.”

That’s all she’ll admit to.

“I seriously don’t understand you two,” Nia shakes her head, groaning and staring at an uninteresting furniture. “I want to, but everytime I try it’s like a cluster mind-fuck and I love myself enough to not piece everything together in my head of the phenomenon of you two and understand the ticks.”

Kara just simply shrugs. And feels the tips of her ears reddening, thinking about Lena. Wondering if Lena hasn’t forgotten about picking her up later. Rao, she better not. She’ll fill that refrigerator up one way or another.

But honestly, Kara thinks Nia doesn’t have to understand it. Alex and Winn. Everyone.

What she and Lena have doesn’t  _need_ to be defined. Kara understands what Nia’s trying to get at, but it’s rather unsettling when she thinks of it as a whole. The obsession to have every single thing picked, labelled, and categorized on Earth. It’s not something Kara has been fond of ever since landing here when she was thirteen.

It doesn’t matter who defines and misinterprets their relationship. Whether it’s Alex who’s been her precious sister for more than half of her life going through all kinds of thick and thin with her, or some random stranger at a bar. Their reactions are always the same— they laugh, with Kara occasionally (always) fumbling and blushing— because Lena and  _her_ of all people?

Kara sighs.

At first Nia is quiet, but then she frowns. “But Kara, the whole point of the friends with benefits thing is that there’s supposed to be no strings attached. With Lena, there is… well. All strings attached. This is  _Lena_ we’re talking about. You and Lena.”

Kara can’t exactly deny Nia’s placed assumption on her and Lena. Those three words, it sounds so  _wrong_ , when she thinks about those three words next to Lena. Sat with her and Lena makes her uncomfortably so. So she doesn’t mention it at all. She knows Nia's just concerned for her friends.

“It’s fine, Nia,” Kara says firmly. “It’s not that serious. If anything, the slightest thing that goes wrong or one wants to stop, then obviously we stop. Communication is the key.” _Is it not?_ she thinks, craning her neck.

“Well. If you say so.” Nia doesn’t push the subject any further, but Kara gets the feeling that the younger woman isn’t entirely convinced.

 

* * *

 

Kara has never been that spectacular at cooking but she does have staple dishes under her belt and therefore, finding the ingredients for Lena doesn’t take too long. She pushes the big cart, all kinds of food and ingredients compiling and creating a mini mountain already (Lena had insisted on getting the small basket, to which Kara shook her head vehemently, “No, Lena, think of your sad and pathetic kitchen and fridge. Plus, I’m here for my stuff, too.”).

Lena walks beside her, coat folded on her arm and strap bag hanging on her shoulder.

They receive stares, all kinds of gawking: in awe, curiosity, suspiciousness, wonder, fright, and all that. Hanging with Lena out in the public, Kara’s learned to get used to it over by the years, so it doesn’t really bother her.

Making it to the fresh meat and bread section, Kara points out different kinds of cuisine she’s tried as Lena listens, nodding and smiling with rapt attention.

“I’m pretty sure if you stuff too much food in my kitchen, half would rot by the time I finish a portion of it,” the raven-haired woman points out, eyeing at the shopping cart questioningly.

“Then I’ll eat the other half for you,” Kara inputs, like it’s a given already. Problem solved. Good thinking, Kara. Silly question, Lena. “You stuff all these kinds of fruits and vegetables in mine. It’s only right that I get to stuff my food in yours.”

“Right,” Lena resigns, sighing. Pale hands grab at the end of the cart handle, and Lena gestures for Kara to make space for her. Kara grins and steps sideways. Lena moves into her right. Arms and shoulders touch and press together as they push the cart.

Kara tries not to think too much about the conversation she had with Nia earlier.

These things she’s been doing more with Lena— breakfast, cooking together, wearing each other’s clothes and staying in— it all feels overly domestic. It doesn’t exactly bother Kara. In fact, she feels a giddiness to this— it’s exciting, it’s boring (in your typical mundane day-to-day life), it’s nice, it’s lovely.

In the corner of her eyes, Lena drops something into the cart.

“Bird food!” she accuses, pointing aggressively at the seeds.

Lena chuckles. “Edible seeds,” she corrects, dropping more onto the trolley. “They’re very healthy, you know.”

“Bird food,” Kara insists stubbornly, judging the packets laid on top of her Pringles can.

They walk from aisle to aisle, dropping more items alongway in their cart. Yoghurts and various fruits make it in, as well as many different flavoured Kombucha bottles. Kara picks up a variety of healthy snacks for Lena to keep her energy up, salad dressings to add to her Green Abominations, coffee beans, and packets of chamomile tea that Kara relies on to calm her down on those stressful days that she just has troubles falling asleep. It doesn’t actually really affect her body, but somehow it does the trick. Maybe it’s because of the knowledge of knowing its properties and her body tricking her with it. She doesn’t think too much about it, so she just appreciates the tea a lot.

Almost deciding that they have enough food in, she quickly guides the trolley and Lena to an area. She drops in quick breakfasts so that Lena doesn’t have to leave hungry for work when she wakes up late, or doze into hunger when she lacks the energy to make food for herself.

Lena arches an eyebrow up. “Why does it feel like I’m being babied. Like I can’t buy things for my own self.”

Smiling and linking her arms with Lena as they make their way to the check-out line, she half-shrugs at the woman.

“Oh, you’re a very capable woman, Lena. One of the most coolest and independent person I know. But unfortunately,” Kara sighs forlornly, “some people just fall victim to the Pitiful Humdrum Disease.”

“Pitiful Humdrum Disease. You just made that up.”

Ignoring Lena’s remark, she continues, lamenting, “Anyway— it’s when the rich, intelligent, and powerful CEOs fall blind to the good, healthy things for them in life. Getting good rest, food, more rest, and more food.”

“And you think you help spice up my life. Should I be offended at this?”

“I mean, don’t I?”

“Oh, but my life is spicy enough as it is. But spice wouldn’t be the word for you, darling.”

Kara frowns for a moment because she completely disagrees with that. Gaze dropping down to the coffee beans on the cart, an idea strikes up and she grins lopsidedly at Lena. “How about sugar then. Oh! Can I be the cream to your coffee!”

Lena cranes her neck to meet Kara in the eyes, lips curling in amusement. “You know I don’t quite enjoy sugar or cream added to my coffee.”

Shoulders deflating, Kara tries again. “Peanut butter to your jelly?”

“I’m not fond of jelly.”

“Cheese to your macaroni?”

“I like cheese a lot in pasta as much as the next person, but it doesn’t compete in the same heavy sense way with how I like you,” Lena teases with a stunning smirk, making Kara’s brain short-circuit for a moment. A wild blush spreads on Kara’s cheeks.

Clearing her throat, she stares straight ahead and adjusts her glasses.

“Then what’s a good contender? I’m running out of Earth idioms here,” she pouts, scratching at the handle of the cart lightly in deep thought for more.

“There’s none,” Lena tells her, and Kara feels the movement of a shrug against her arm. A few seconds pass until Lena hums. “Well, you can be the salad dressings to my kale.”

“ _Ugh,_ ” Kara whips her head to face Lena so fast and grimaces painfully, unsure of what to think of that. “Lena, please. I’m going to vomit for real here.”

Sulking at the thought of salad dressings, its smell and texture, Lena’s body shakes with a lovely laughter.

 

They first make a quick round trip to Kara’s apartment to drop in her load, which doesn’t take long thanks to her capacity to carry many heavy things at once, before heading to Lena’s penthouse.

The fridge now looks better with actual food in it. Kara feels her mind being put to ease. She’ll have to keep this up, she decides resolutely. For the health of her mind, Lena’s kitchen, and Lena herself.

“Are you happy now?” Lena approaches behind Kara, hand on her hip with a light smile.

“Yes. You should be, too, for yourself.”

“I am,” the Irish woman says, moving her hand and placing it on Kara’s back as she inspects the refrigerator. “Thanks for accompanying me. I don’t really do grocery shopping that much.”

“I knew that already.”

Kara places the last remaining packaged item on the shelf and twists her neck to look at Lena. Pulls her head backwards in the realization of her face being  _too close_ to the woman’s.

“You sure you don’t want me as the spice to your life?” The crinkle on her forehead must be popping out because Lena raises her other free hand, thumbing and flattening at the particular skin. “Spice sounds better. I like it.”

Fingers graze at Kara’s shoulder softly. Lena scoffs at her, grinning. “No, darling. Not the spice. You’re the salad dressings to my kale. Stick with the title,” she chuckles, planting a quick kiss to Kara’s cheek before backing away from her and disappearing off to a room.

Kara just grumbles and scratches at her neck, staring into space.

The thought of salad dressings gives her the real tingles.

 

Lena wears the National City University sweatshirt when she comes back to the living room.

She’s worn it before when Kara had given it to her to wear back then when she was staying over at Sam’s place during the awful lead poisoning incident with the children getting terribly sick. When Lena was at a low point, having to step down from L-Corp and CatCo because of the public outrage and Morgan Edge.  _Ugh._

Kara had completely forgotten about the sweatshirt and Lena still has it— kept it.

Many seconds pass. And Kara knows at this point she’s just blatantly staring at Lena.

“I totally forgot about that sweatshirt… you still have it.”

“Yeah.” Lena shrugs, a charming half-smile playing at her lips. There’s a book tucked in her arm and a wine glass in her hand as she makes her way towards the kitchen.

“Kept it from the poor and unsuspecting owner much?”

“The owner’s completely forgotten about it. For two years at that. I can’t be blamed.”

“Lena Sweatshirt Thief Kieran Luthor!” Kara gasps dramatically, hands clutching her chest in feign shock. She circles around the kitchen counter, watching Lena pour wine on her glass. She waves her hand off when Lena offers her some.

Lena flushes attractively and laughs warmly, rolling her eyes with a nonchalant shrug.

“Never took you for a sweatshirt thief, Lena,” Kara steps back, hand over her mouth. “Oh, what would everyone think. Philanthropist and young genius CEO Lena Luthor steals sweatshirt from the poor, unsuspecting, and helpless CatCo reporter Kara Danvers. That would make the headlines. Seriously.”

“Well, perhaps the poor, unsuspecting, and helpless CatCo reporter Kara Danvers will let me have this one,” Lena smirks, fingers delicately playing at the hems of her sweatshirt as she leans back onto the counter with her wine glass. “It’s particularly cold today. This sweatshirt actually warms me like no other sweatshirt. There’s something about its textures.”

Kara narrows her eyes. “If you’re going to keep my beloved sweatshirt, then I have the rights to steal back and claim your MIT hoodie.”

The Sweatshirt Thief bites her lip for a moment, contemplating in thought like she’s analyzing and considering the steal-to-steal exchange.

The  _audacity_ of this thief.

Starting to feel impatient, Kara lays her palm right in front of Lena, hell-bent on getting her hands on that hoodie as she shoots Lena a look. Lena huffs at the action, chuckling with her nose doing that cute scrunch.

“Kara Hoodie Thief Danvers,” the Irish woman draws in a sharp breath, hands to her chest and blinking slowly in mirth. Kara can’t help but crack into a smile at the sight. “You haven’t even given me back my hoodie from yesterday. I quite liked that specific hoodie.”

“The Hoodie Thief shows no remorse in stealing hoodies. Just like her counterpart Sweatshirt Thief. Who kept it for two years from its owner.”

“Who would’ve known. The Sweatshirt Thief and the Hoodie Thief stealing from each other.”

“C’mon, Lena.” Giggling, she shakes her head at the ridiculous phrase. “Gimme the hoodie I deserve. The Hoodie Thief demands it now.”

“Alright, not-so-sneaky-thief, go steal it. It’s in the nightstand, down in the second drawer, clean and folded.”

Kara breaks into a full, wide grin before she super-speeds for the drawer and coming back almost instantly, already wearing it.

Lena’s forefinger taps continuously on the counter as she gives Kara a once-over. Kara flexes, moving her arms in wide, circular motions. It’s not too small, but it’s not too big either. It just  _fits._ With loose corners, it adds comfort and coziness. This earns positive points in Kara’s Quality Hoodie Standards Book.

“I got that sizes bigger than my normal when I bought it. How is it?”

Whistling, Kara brings a thumbs up. Satisfied, she smiles. “It fits just perfectly. It feels really nice, actually.”

“Good to hear. Wouldn’t want to disappoint the mighty Hoodie Thief.”

Laughing, Kara rolls her eyes. “Oh, right! I just tossed my jumper messily right onto your bed— wait, be right back.” And then she super-speeds out and back in, grinning goofily, waving her jumper in her hand.

“Dork.” Lena walks towards her. Sighing softly, she tiptoes up to meet Kara’s height. A gentle hand caresses the locks of Kara’s hair, fixing the messy strands that’s sticking out awkwardly from the super-speeding.

“Shortie,” Kara pokes her cheek.

“Dramatic.” Fingers make a quick jab at Kara’s abdomen. Kara pretends to be hurt by it, stumbling back dramatically grunting an  _oof_. “You’re only a few inches taller than me when I’m not wearing my heels.”

“But you always have to tiptoe up whenever you do that or hug me  _and_ also,” Kara pauses, her grin faltering slightly. She gulps, bobbing her head down a little. “And… whenever you kiss me.”

Underneath the dim lights, Lena’s cheeks are rosy and her emerald-green eyes glitter prettily, light seeping in enough that shows the subtle heterochromia. Her hair's let down freely, showing its complete length and everything about Lena right now just looks so  _soft_.

Lena looks away briefly, folding her arms over her chest.

“It’s only a  _slight_ tiptoe up. Again, dramatic.” The younger woman’s cheeks flex, faint in a way that shows that she’s biting her cheeks.

“Aww, are you getting sensitive about the height topic,” Kara coos.

“As long as you add the vital keyword:  _slight_. Accurate wording and use of correct terminology is important, Kara.”

“I still think  _slight_ shouldn’t be used. You totally tiptoe up. Up up.”

Lena arches an eyebrow sharply.

“Actually, you know,” the raven-haired woman begins lowly, lips curling up in a way that kind of scares Kara, “we, as reputable and reliable scientists, should always record and report our experiments and data accurately. To discover and verify certain things, we implement and conduct experiments.”

“Yeah?” Kara’s heart starts thumping against her ribs.

“Aim: to determine if Lena Luthor tiptoes up up or tiptoes only  _slightly_ up to meet Kara Danvers,” Lena challenges her, intense eyes meeting hers. She takes an unnecessary small step forward. She’s already standing so close.

Kara totally set herself up for this one. She knows she’s reddening at this, but the fact that Lena’s cheeks are also flushed up _—_ it washes her some relief in a sense.

“Gotta keep your strong reputation as a trusted scientist, right?” she finds herself nodding, licking her lips nervously and,  _Rao—_ when will she stop being such an encouraging flirtatious idiot around Lena? The answer is: never, maybe, or well, she’s not sure, but Rao help her.

Lena moves in a little closer again, and _—_ is Lena going to hug her or kiss her _—_ Kara can’t actually tell, so a mix of anticipation and nervousness bubbles in her chest.

Lena breaks into a smirk and then both her hands land on Kara’s shoulders and tiptoes up, meeting Kara and placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

Correction:  _slightly tiptoes up._

It was too quick. So, Kara just finds herself blinking lamely at Lena. Lena’s head is pulled back, but her hands stay on Kara’s shoulders as her feet flat on the ground.

“I think you need to do it again. For additional data and accuracy of the experiment’s sake.” Kara actually wants to kick herself. Thrice. And then ask Nia to punch her. Twice.

“I think so too,” Lena mutters lowly before she comes up again.  _Slightly tiptoes up_. And this time the kiss is anything but chaste, because Kara, like the hopeless idiot she is, decides to cup the back of Lena’s neck and leans in with a certain want for more.

Lena's lips are tender, warm, and smooth, as she mashes against Kara’s _—_ all unhurried and slow. The taste of wine and chapstick makes it across and Kara just kind of melts on the spot as Lena's palm moves to cradle her jaw, delicate fingers splaying across her neck. Kara inhales sharply as her fingers tangle into silken curls, and, okay— they should stop now but neither of them aren’t making any effort to, so. Yeah.

Kara doesn’t realize they’re moving until Lena’s back hits the kitchen counter. When Kara lets out a soft noise, Lena pulls back, breaking the kiss and breathing softly at a respectable distance.

“Ah. Oops. That went too much.” Emerald-green eyes, cloudy and dazed, stares at Kara’s lips, as a thumb brushes at Kara’s cheeks.

“My bad.”

“No complaints. So, results and conclusion?”

“Okay,” Kara sighs dramatically, acquiescing. “Results, drawn in a table:  _slightly tiptoe up_ box, ticked. Conclusion: Upon bringing the two subjects together, Lena Luthor, when wearing no heels, only requires a slight tiptoe up to meet Kara Danvers eye-to-eye.”

“Much better.” Nodding in satisfaction, Lena grins and pats Kara on the cheeks, whispering a fond  _dork_ at herbefore breaking away, moving to the other side of the counter. “Hey, do you want some tea? You really filled up my cupboards with tea...”

“Oh, no thanks, not right now.”

Kara licks her lips, that still buzzes and tingles from Lena’s kiss.

“Seriously, Kara,” Lena half-turns to her, before pouring more wine in her glass. “You better help me finish all these food,” she gesticulates to the fridge and cupboards using her head.

Kara snorts, laughing, “I will! Don’t you even worry about it.” Her phone screen lights up from a notification and she winces when she sees the time.

Oh. It’s already late. She should get back soon.

“Heading home now?” Lena’s looking at her.

“Yeah, I should,” she nods, grabbing her glasses on and her phone. “I didn’t realise the time. It’s already late.”

“Okay. Want me to get Frank to drive you home?” Lena offers, holding her glass down.

Kara shakes her head. “Naw, that’s a waste of fuel.” All her items with her in-check, she nods to herself before gesturing towards the balcony door.

A step into the balcony, she turns around to meet Lena. Returning the warm smile that’s being directed at her, Kara wraps her arms around the raven-haired woman tight and snug. Lena slants into the embrace, nose pressing against Kara’s side jaw.

A kiss to Lena’s forehead, and Kara steps back, nodding.

“I’ll see you sometime soon?” Lena tilts her head to a side, leaning against the wall. Like she even has to ask.

“You will,” Kara grins.

Mid-way flight back to her own apartment, it's a little unnerving when Kara, for a split-second, thinks of going back and just sleeping over at Lena's. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: [coffeeshib](https://twitter.com/coffeeshib)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4x19 fueled me & grabbed me by the neck, told me to sit the hell down & write

 

Kara isn’t honestly entirely sure how she finds herself here exactly, standing in front of Lena’s closet. With a few sets of clothes neatly piled on top of her hands.

Her own sets of clothes, for comfy and casual wear, for work wear.

Keyword:  _her own_ sets of clothes _._ Including some socks, bras, and knickers.

It’s not a whole lot of clothes, of course— just some few clothes because she’s not  _moving_  here. Obviously. Goodness. That'd be remarkably ridiculous. Terrifyingly ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. All the intensifier adverbs of the human language put altogether— ridiculous. She looks down at her clothes, trying not to slip and accidentally have her hearing go haywire from the inner turmoil that's building up inside her.

_Rao._

_Rao, Rao, Rao,_ she chants in her head stressfully, willing herself to find some clarity and guidance as she stares into the closet and drawers. And, oh, hey, it smells so nice around here, just so much like Lena—  _no, no,_ focus, Kara. Get with the program.

She scratches at her eyebrow and thinks back two days ago, frowning to herself.

 

_“Since you’re here often, why not just bring some spare clean clothes from your apartment and leave some here?” Lena suggested, appearing nonchalant as she looked into her refrigerator and grabbed some drinks and sauces._

_It was a peaceful, quiet evening. Kara had a spatula in her hand with a dash of smudged up chocolate on her cheek. She wore an apron that had already been dirtied by sprinkles of flour. Lena was in the same state. They were attempting to recreate some cuisine they both saw from The Great British Bake Off and so far it was going okay. Okay as in not terrible. Okay as in not bad. Mostly thanks to Lena and her ability to correctly follow the recipe, but Kara wasn't about to admit that just yet._

_“My clothes? Are you saying that I should bring some and pack them into your closet and drawers?” Kara’s eyebrows shot up and she looked at Lena._

_“Yes, that’s exactly what I said?” Lena slowly nodded, then shook her head. “Semantics. So?”_

_Kara felt herself freeze at her spot._

_“I mean, that’s if you want to,” Lena added when Kara wasn’t saying anything, who just simply stared at Lena with her eyebrows drawn together. “That was a silly suggestion, I’m sorry—”_

_“Lena,” Kara interrupted, her name coming out breathless. She shook her head, grinning at the woman, “No, no! I think that’s a great idea!”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yeah! I mean, it would definitely make my neighbour less judgy and suspicious of me every time I’d—” Kara paused sharply, and Lena arched an eyebrow. “No, no, it’s good. I’ll bring some. But are you sure it’s okay? Like, my clothes will probably be a bit too much and I know you like your space, and—”_

_“It’s fine, Kara,” Lena cut her off gently and grinned, waving her off warmly. And when Kara pushed her glasses up in nervousness out of habit, letting out a small oh, Lena chuckled at the sight. “I’m the one that suggested it. Don’t fret, you’re not invading my space at all.”_

 

Right. So maybe that did indeed happen two days ago.

So maybe Kara does have the slightest bit of clue. Oh, who is she kidding. She knows every bit of sentences and action that lead her exactly to here, standing in front of Lena’s closet, with her own pile of clothes.

Lena had suggested, and Kara had merely agreed to the said suggestion.

It’s the  _actual act_  of doing it that flips something inside her, thoughts flaring and brewing in a way that confuses her. The act of standing in front of Lena’s wardrobe and drawers with the intent of placing her own clothes inside there.

Just store the clothes neatly inside and stop thinking about it too much. Don’t overthink it. It probably doesn’t mean that much to Lena, anyway. Why should it?

It’s just.

Placing some of her clothes in Lena’s space, since she comes to visit occasionally (frequently) and sleep in.

 _It’s just thinking smart and ahead_ , Kara rationalizes, as she ignores an imaginary Nia in her head, teasing and mocking her situation with her infuriating eyebrow waggling.

 _Just placing some of my clothes at a different place_ , she thinks, as imaginary Nia starts laughing at her and as she starts neatly hanging her clothes in Lena’s closet.

That’s it.

That’s all.

 

* * *

 

Kara balances a pen on her upper lip boredly, letting her thoughts lead and fall onto imaginary doughnuts, pizzas, then a plate full of potstickers. She’s just finished an assignment, email sent and waiting for changes and follow-ups for it.

A woman passes by her desk swiftly— Mackenzie, who holds stacks of papers in her hand with a phone held to her ear.

The plate full of potstickers vanish from her thoughts and suddenly she recalls the conversation she’d had with Winn and Alex earlier. Claiming that there were a bit of some office crushing around here and there. Perhaps they were lying, because Kara, for the life of her just can’t think of anyone that shoots ‘heart eyes’, as Alex calls it, at her.

She watches Mackenzie, her fellow reporter colleague, and cringes instantly—  _ugh, no way._ Definitely nope, not her.

She hasn't forgotten the incident with Mackenzie and what she had done to Franklin— placing strips of wood into his coffee cup as a prank since it was a part of the Dryads’ diet. Mackenzie had apologized since then, people change, but Kara’s still a little suspicious of the woman.

Kara shakes her head, and the pen drops from her philtrum. Looks at Franklin, three desks away, who’s deep into his own work. Looks at Dave, whose desk is right next to him, and sees him already looking at her. Dave scrambles at his desk, suddenly typing on his keyboard and looking at his computer screen intensely.

An eyebrow cocks up.

“Hey,” Nia’s voice snaps her out of her train of thoughts.

Kara blinks. Nia stands right next to her desk and Kara swivels around her seat to meet the younger woman. “Oh, hi.”

Nia arches an eyebrow up. “What were you thinking?”

“Nothing.” Kara wrinkles her nose.

“Right.” The younger reporter leans onto Kara’s desk, biting into her muffing. “I don’t know how your girl does it,” she sighs, staring off into space. “How is she able to take care and manage all things at once?”

How Kara already knows who she’s talking about, she shoots Nia an unimpressed look.

“Lena’s not my girl,” Kara frowns, a small blush forming on her cheeks when she says it.

“Okay. Girlfriend.”

“Even more terribly wrong.” Kara pokes her pen at Nia's hip lightly. Who keeps teaching her to be so cheeky? “Delusional little munchkin.”

“Hey, ow!” Nia snorts, throwing her hands up. “Sorry, it’s just always so amusing to see you get flustered so easily by the mention of her.”

“Because you keep saying these kind of things.”

Nia just simply shrugs, then narrows her eyes, body subtly defensive in case Kara pokes at her again.

How the younger one is able to get under her skin this easily— Kara will never know. Nia can keep saying things. It doesn’t make Kara’s situation any less true.

“I still can’t believe she owns CatCo, though,” Nia says. “L-Corp, work in the DEO, and CatCo. Like, whoa. She’s so cool.”

Yeah. Lena’s a pretty damn amazing human. Kara knows that already.

“Nia,” Kara chuckles, leaning back onto her swivel seat, “did you come here to swoon over your boss?”

Nia blanches instantly. “Well if you say it like  _that_ , that just sounds so wrong. Just admiring the work Lena does, is all. Do you seriously think I haven’t read the articles you wrote based on the great stuff she’s been doing for the city and the world for the last couple of years?”

“Uh.” Kara’s jaw slackens, throat suddenly dry.

“Kara,” Nia laughs, giving Kara a nudge, “I’m a huge fan of your work, in case you haven’t forgotten about our first meeting.” She halts for a moment, cringing to herself, most likely recalling the event. Kara smiles, remembering how Nia had bought her coffee on the first day. “Of course I’ve read some of your written work about her.”

“Well,” Kara clears her throat. “I wrote only the truths about her.” The majority of the articles about Lena had been negative and assuming at the time. Kara knows her articles stood out, in a way.

“That’s what makes you so cool,” Nia gushes, a suffocating amount of adoration radiating from her, “ _and_ Lena. You guys are total bad asses.”

Kara feels heat blooming on her neck.

“You know, Winn used to work here,” she mentions, deciding to lead the topic away from anything that is Lena.

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, he became my first friend here, too. When I first started working here.”

“Wow,” Nia drawls. “I didn’t know that. I thought he’d always been stationed at the DEO.”

“Yep,” Kara shrugs. Looking around her surroundings, she leans towards Nia, lowering her voice, “As you already know he just came back recently, from the the 31st century. Crazy jump. He does good work in the DEO.”

Nia hums, nodding. “All of you guys come from a really long way.”

“So, did you finish your article yet?” Kara asks.

“Oh, yeah. Up for publication.”

“Aww, Nia,” Kara grins, standing up to give the younger woman a good pat on the back. “Good job, kiddo,” she coos, nodding in content.

“Thank you.” The younger woman smiles, preening at the praise. “Hey, you wanna head out to dinner with Brainy and I tomorrow?”

“And be the third wheel to your not-quite-yet-a-couple?” Kara teases slyly, head bowing conspiratorially that earns a furious blush from Nia.  _Good._ Take that. “Sure!”

“We haven't had a little team dinner in a while,” Nia rolls her eyes, biting a smile back. “I get to choose where we’ll eat this time.”

 

* * *

 

“Hello, hello, I come bearing gifts.” Kara walks in confident strides from L-Corp's balcony and rounds up in front of Lena’s desk.

“Kara,” Lena greets, a small smile forming across her lips. She shifts at her seat, closing her eyes for a moment and massaging at her temples.

“Headache?”

“Yes, just a little one.”

Kara frowns, tilts her head.

Lena is an odd human. Not so much as odd  _odd_ , but Kara has come to learn over the years, that the younger woman is more prone to headaches. Gets them more than your average fellow human. Alex gets headaches, but not more often than Lena. She wonders how often she'd get headaches if she were a human. She gets an uncomfortable throbbing in her head every now and then when she's exhausted or stressed— but it doesn't equate to the headaches she would get when she solar flares. 

She walks over to the water dispenser and grabs a cup for Lena, filling it all the way to the top. She places it onto her desk, “Here.”

“Oh, thanks.” Lena takes it gratefully.

Lena inspects the food in the bag laid on top of her desk. “If I haven’t stated it in the past already— you’re my favourite person.”

Kara bites down a grin, pretending to think as she strokes her chin. “You may have mentioned it a few times, but I only remember vaguely. Perhaps it’s important to keep saying it so I don’t forget.”

Lena rolls her eyes. “You have eidetic memory. But I'll make sure I will,” she says surely, and then flashes Kara her pretty smile and dimple. Kara feels herself blushing at the easy promise until Lena adds, “Kara Danvers: my favourite person, the salad dressings to my kale.”

“ _Lena_ ,” Kara groans in disgust, palming her eyes. “Way to ruin it.”

“Ruin what?” Lena laughs heartily, opening the bag. The businesswoman has her hair tied up tight in a bun, looking every bit of intimidating and powerful with her make-up sharp and on-point, black blazer and pencil skirt polished and dirtless.

But she looks notably tired. It makes Kara feel itchy. If it were any other person, Kara thinks they wouldn’t suspect the slight change in posture and the slight drooping of Lena’s features.

“Are you doing anything later?” Kara hesitates, feet subtly bouncing up and down the ground. Her hand rises up to fix her nonexistent glasses up her nose and almost ends up poking herself in the eye.

Lena looks up, regarding Kara with an amused smile over the bag. “Not that I know of.”

“Can I come over? I’m really, really craving for potstickers tonight.”

“Absolutely shocking,” Lena says drily, leaning back from her chair. “Yes, you can come over tonight.”

“Sweet! I’ll order us some later.”

“I think it’s best if we lay off cooking for a bit, by the way.”

Kara huffs. “Hey, we did so good last time. That dish came out pretty well.”

Lena raises an eyebrow, twirling her black pen around her fingers with precision and elegance. “Pretty well? It almost came out burnt, Kara.”

“But it didn’t,” Kara deflects. “Sure, we’re both terrible cooks,” she admits that, “but when we work together, terrible cook plus terrible cook, the negative gets cancelled out.”

It's just simple mathematics. 

(Kara knows this as untrue in this case.

She just takes solace in the fact that they're both awful at cooking.)

“That’s not really how that works, but okay,” Lena points out, shaking her head with a smile. She stands up from her desk and circles around it to meet Kara. “So, I’ll pick you up in CatCo later?”

Soft, slender fingers touch at Kara’s red cape, flattening and fixing the crumpled bits.

“Waste of fuel, Lena,” Kara pouts.

“I have things I need to pass off at the desk later, darling.”

“I can pass them off for you? No need to drive there, I’m heading back to CatCo after this.”

The Irish woman arches an eyebrow. “I haven’t finished these papers yet. And I have to pass them off myself.” She gives Kara a quick, warm hug, to which Kara is all too happy to return it before Lena returns to her desk.

“Oh, well. Okay, then.” Before Kara prepares to take off, she halts when Lena calls her name out.

“Oh, and Kara? I find your deep concern and strong awareness with energy consumption very hot,” Lena winks, smiling attractively with her legs crossed by her seat.

Kara almost walks straight into the balcony door.

 

* * *

 

Making out with Lena quickly becomes Kara’s favourite activities. They’re pulled at a private car lot— Lena’s, and Kara isn’t really sure how long they’ve been out here. One moment, they’d been talking about the 80's and 90's music, Lena mentioning Ani Difranco songs, and then the next moment, they're at the backseat of the car, Kara holding Lena close as Lena sits on top of her lap.

Lena feels so good, pressed against her body— all flushed and soft with her hand raking through blonde locks smoothly.

The sounds of hot breathing, sighing, heart thumping, and hands wandering on skin— it’s all Kara can hear right now between her and Lena, and she thinks she might slightly be getting too addicted to the sounds Lena makes for her.

Maybe she should make a Spotify playlist. A Spotify making out playlist. And at that, she can already practically  _hear_ Lena calling her a dork over this.

They’ve been at this for minutes, maybe five, or maybe ten,and Kara tugs Lena closer to her, runs her hand up and down Lena’s sides. Yeah, maybe she should make a Spotify playlist sometime.

A tongue slips into her mouth and then all her thoughts vanish instantly. Kara cranes her neck, tilting in a way for better access to Lena’s mouth, a soft moan escaping. She's taking Lena's tongue into her mouth, everything slick and wet and terribly, impossibly hot.

And then a soft, roaming hand slips underneath Kara’s shirt and scrapes at her flushed skin, laying itself on her abdomen. Kara grips an arm tighter around Lena’s back carefully, keeping Lena close against her body, while her other hand trails to Lena’s hip, then to her ass. She gives Lena a tight, firm round squeeze and Lena whimpers, actually whimpers into her mouth. Lena's other free hand— her fingertips dig deep into Kara's shoulder, and presses her body further closer to Kara's.

Of course Lena’s like this: she’s an exhilarating mix of sensuous and responsive, sweet and perceptive. Of course she is.

Kara ducks down, breaking the kiss and tugs at Lena’s hair lightly, exposing her slender pale neck. She starts pressing hot-open mouthed kisses in a line down Lena’s neck which elicits a soft moan, or more like a groan from Lena’s mouth, as Kara kisses like trailing breadcrumbs, something to say  _I was here_. Then her mouth meets a freckle, and she can feel Lena’s pulse beneath the skin.

“Lena,” she whispers, sucking a hickey into the juncture of Lena’s neck and shoulder. She doesn’t mean to, or maybe she does, because Lena’s letting her. She stays there long enough to know that there will be a blemish forming on the way.

“Lena,” Kara says, surging upwards to kiss Lena’s chin, then nosing her temples.

“Yes?” Lena mumbles, then she draws downwards, mouth latching onto Kara’s jaw, then to her exposed neck. Kara throws her head back, eyes closing as she revels on how Lena kisses and licks and nips at her neck hotly, easily drawing all kinds of quivering, soft sounds out of her mouth.

“You feel so good,” she sighs, and soft, velvety lips drag down their way to her collarbones. Kara slides a hand down to the small of Lena's back, presses down and arches up. And then a moment later, Lena comes back up, and Kara kisses her intently, intensely, and wetly.

It’s deeply hot, it’s sensuous, but it’s also messy in a way with their cramped, limited space, and Kara knows they need to stop very soon—

The windows are all fogged up from all the heat they exude together from breathing, and. Kara is so turned on all over, literally turned on: all her nerve endings glowing and on fire, her skin hot and hypersensitive, heartbeat hammering in her ears, hips rolling involuntarily.

They kiss, and kiss, until Lena pulls back just a little bit. She's still so close that their lips brush when she speaks.

“Hey,” she whispers, and presses a kiss to Kara's mouth, to her cheek, to her jaw, “you okay?”

Kara nods a little. Lena leans back at a distance, her arms stay dangling around Kara’s neck loosely. Kara misses the body contact immediately and it takes all of her power not to sulk at that.

“We, we should get going.” Lena looks at her with her cheeks deeply flushed red and her lips evidently swollen and thoroughly kissed.

“I had never made out in a car before,” Kara blurts out, feeling the need to overshare. Smooth. “Also, yes, we should. Hungry. And very turned on. But hungry. Yeah.”

“Are we adding that to our list: Things Kara Danvers Has Done With Lena Luthor?” Lena’s lips twists into a small coy smile, her finger coming up to brush at Kara’s cheek, still looking every bit of dazed. For a second Kara thinks Lena’s going to close the gap again until Lena draws fully back away from her, fixing her creased collar.

“List? I didn’t know we have a list.”

“We do, now,” Lena decides, her fingers making brushes at Kara's neck as she adjusts the collar.

“Then,” Kara clears her throat, “you might want to get off me, before we add another something to that list right now.” Her eyes bore seriously into Lena's as she tries not to squirm because Lena's still on top of her, touching her all the while looking so gorgeous up close.

A beat passes. “Right,” Lena says, voice slightly hoarse. She licks her lips and her already-flushed up face tinge subtly more redder in Kara's eyes. “But what’s stopping us, though?” Her voice drops down low and deep, near Kara’s ears, causing her to shudder.

Kara lets out a pained groan, her head sinking onto Lena’s shoulder. “Hungry.”

Hunger and turned on do not mix well, Kara very importantly notes to herself.

Lena’s body shake and her melodic laugh fills Kara’s ears. “Ah, right. Okay, let’s get you fed.”

 

* * *

 

“When you said you’d order food, I didn’t think you’d order this much.” Lena looks up for a moment in thought. “I really should be used to this,” she mutters to herself, grumbling out a  _damn cute, pretty girls and their well-sculpted bodies and their bottomless pit stomachs_.

Kara walks into the kitchen and places the bags filled with take-away food onto the countertop, minding each bag onto the surface carefully as to leave them in its perfect state as long as possible. She would literally  _cry_ if she’d find any of its food contents squished around and sauces dripping all over. It’s happened before one time when Alex was carrying their take-outs and laid it down onto the kitchen table without much thought. Kara had literally melted at the sight, devastated and vowed she’d never let Alex carry bags when it came to take-outs.

“Food is never  _this much_ when I’m around, Lena,” she refutes, dropping herself onto the stool.

“Hey, I’m going to go change for a bit,” Lena says, then pauses to turn to Kara. “You can go change too, if you want?”

Kara feels a swirl in her stomach, remembering that she'd stored some clothes in Lena's closet. “Actually, I have to go back to my apartment after this,” she says, deciding to focus on what's in front of her. “Alex is coming over later tonight.”

“Sure,” Lena shrugs before she disappears off into her room.

Minutes later, Lena comes back. At the sight, Kara instantly digs into her take-out box.

“If you keep inhaling those potstickers like that,” Lena slides onto the stool next to Kara, now looking every bit of comfortable, a loose white sweater draping her frame, “I’m actually worried you’re going to choke sooner or later.”

She ties her hair up in a messy bun and takes sips of Kara’s milkshake, eyeing at her own take-out box. Face nil of make-up, there's a thick-framed glasses Kara's never seen before perched on her nose.

“Can’t help it,” Kara says, not even taking the time to pause her chewing, “if I choke, then I choke.”

“Permission to kink shame.”

“Denied. Think of my  _potstickers_.”

The raven-haired woman laughs, the kind of uninhibited, breathless giggles that warms Kara’s itty bitty heart.

Kara frowns. There's a line of whipped cream above Lena's upper lip and Kara wants to lick it off.

“How was work?”

Lena grimaces. Licks her upper lip with her tongue. “It’s a lot lately, but I’m managing.” She starts digging into her food, her shoulder and arm touching with Kara’s.

Kara stops chewing, giving Lena a quick side-glance. She doesn’t like that Lena’s always literally working, always continuously signing up for several projects at once. But that’s how Lena is: always on the go, using that brilliant mind of hers that never stops thinking, and finding ways to reach from a goal to another. Kara understands the overwhelming feeling of the need to feel productive and to feel like you’re  _doing_ something.

“Nia was fawning about you earlier. You inspire her greatly.”

“Nia?” Lena hums. “She’s quite the funny young one.”

Kara snorts, not fully agreeing on that. Not especially when the young one is starting to turn into a full-shed wolf under her wings. What would James think of her mentorship skills. What would  _Cat Grant_.

She shakes her head quickly, and stops thinking. She might  _really_ choke.

Soon they finish their take-out and start cleaning up.

“Did you really pick those glasses out for yourself?” Kara shoots Lena a brief look before she opens a cupboard and takes a chamomile tea bag from its box. Gestures for Lena if she’d like some, and she nods.

The black thick-framed glasses are new. They sit perfectly on the bridge of Lena’s nose, glasses huge in a way that takes up a certain portion of her face. It makes her look younger, makes her look like your typical studious uni student.

“What? Yeah,” Lena says, tilting her head as she looks at herself from a reflection. Kara laughs. “Hey, don’t judge.”

“Hey, I like it,” Kara hums, studying Lena’s face as the woman turns the tap on. Kara turns the kettle on and places the tea bag on a cup before moving to take out the remaining rubbish on the countertop. “You just look so different with it. Good different, though— not that you've ever looked any bad different. If that even makes sense.”

“That’s kind of the point, while I do take comfortness into account,” Lena says. “We've taken so much walks together and no one's recognized me with it on yet.” Kara scrunches her nose, grins at her. “Is there something wrong with my glasses?”

“No, nothing at all. I like it,” Kara tells her again, and Lena turns to look at her from the sink. There's a mini plant pot near the sink and Kara wonders when did Lena bought that in. “It’s just, it’s different from your previous one.”

Lena arches an eyebrow. “I like to change it up every now and then. How different is it?”

“ _Lena_. You wore those lesbian librarian glasses. For two years.”

“Lesbian librarian glasses?” Lena bursts into an amused huff, her glasses sliding down slightly. Kara wants to reach out and push it back up. “What’s wrong with those glasses? I still have it, but the prescription is old.”

Kara throws her hands up. “Nothing. I liked those too on you.” She easily chucks the last rubbish remains into the bin without looking at the direction with ease. She pours the kettle onto the tea cup when it’s ready and lets the tea bag sit there.

Kara leans onto the countertop by her hip, watches Lena wash some utensils. There's a certain light and warmth inside her chest, swirling and gathering, melting in a way that feels like warm honey and liquid gold. She feels floaty in a pleasant sense. Relaxed, more-so. Her gaze falls back on to the tea cup and frowns, shakes the feeling away. Something lurches into her stomach and Kara ignores it. It's just something about the atmosphere; she tries not to let herself get too used to this. Being in Lena's space in her own home. She intrudes well enough already. “I’m surprised the press hasn’t gotten at least one photo of you wearing glasses all these years.”

“That’s because they’re a great disguise,” Lena says, looking past her shoulder and catches Kara's gaze. She closes the tap water and wipes her hand on a towel. “And no one suspects me walking out in the night wearing simple sweaters and glasses and fluffy socks with pug faces on them. No one's suspected  _you_.”

“Wait, do you not like the socks?” Kara gasps, a little offended. “They're cute! I should buy you more.”

Lena chuckles, shakes her head with a light smile.

Kara glances at her wrist-watch, sees that Alex will be coming over soon. She wonders if her clothes are still really here. Blushes a little, when she starts thinking about it all over again. Rao.

“Lena, I should go now,” Kara says. “The tea should be ready for you in a couple of minutes.”

“Thanks. Let me follow you out.”

All her items with her in-check, Kara decides that she’ll take the normal route out of the penthouse, the elevator down. Because for the past few weeks, ever since she’d started visiting Lena’s penthouse, she’d accidentally made good friends with the people downstairs. She hadn’t meant to, really, but that’s her current situation. And she’s not about to raise suspiciousness around here.

By the door, Kara turns to face Lena and leans in for an embrace. As they break off, Lena squeezes Kara’s shoulder and slants to give her a quick kiss on the cheek, but Kara’s head makes a turn and Lena’s lips end up landing full on Kara’s mouth instead of her cheek.

Lena pulls back sharply. “Sorry.”

Kara stills, feet planted on the floor. A beat later, and she shakes hers her head in reassurance at the accidental touch.

“No, I’m sorry,” Kara chuckles stiltedly, scratching at her eyebrow. “I’m the one who moved.”

Lena nods, half-smiling softly. “I’ll see you sometime soon?”

“Yeah.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big big thanks to my mate [chefs kiss] @[AussieSass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AussieSass) for beta-reading this chap! all other mistakes are mine

 

“So what you’re telling me is: you tried to bribe Colonel Haley with doughnuts because you’re currently on her bad side,” Kara echoes, sat on her kitchen stool in the early morning, sipping on her overly-sprinkled hot chocolate. “Wait, what did you do again?”

“Remember that operation I ran last week, where I pulled you in for help? You were clearly needed to ensure the best chances for catching that rogue alien. When she found out, she gave me a huge lecture about  _informing_ her next time, of each and every time I use your help,” Alex says, palming her forehead. “It’s been a week and work has been awful because she’s still acting like this.”

“We’ve been through so much, us three altogether and she’s still like this?” Kara winces.

“Yeah,” Alex shrugs.

“But, seriously? Doughnuts. Alex, that’s my thing. My bribe tactic.”

Her sister scoffs, taking a coffee packet out of Kara’s cupboards. “It is, and your tactic worked before. I wanted to see if she’d bite. Maybe I should’ve gotten her churros instead.” She stops herself, stilling before she looks at Kara in the realization.

Kara gasps, nodding. “Churros! You should have.”

“Damn, I should have,” Alex agrees grouchily.

This isn’t a new thing. Alex complaining about her boss—Colonel Haley—Kara expects it every now and then. She knows how Colonel Haley is—she’s worked under her before. Naturally, she understands Alex. Naturally, she’s prepared for it.

“Snacks and movie night later?” Sulk-and-mope night. The best remedy-bandaid to a wound filled with little (big) inconveniences.

Alex pauses. “Yes.”

“Yes! You’re buying the snacks.”

“Excuse me,” her sister snorts, and Kara quips a quick  _you’re excused_ back. Alex makes an offended sound at that before she goes to search for any snack stashes hiding in Kara’s kitchen. “Wait, is it my turn to buy or yours?”

“It’s yours, Alex.”

“Alright, fine,” Alex groans.

Alex tells her more things about what’s been happening lately— some rundowns of a few new difficult recruits Alex had started to train under her wing recently.

Sometimes Kara wonders if she should go back to working in the DEO (if she even has the choice to come back, that is) to help with the demanding operations and tasks. Kara does miss working with the agents there—the colleagues she’d worked with for years. And of course she helps—occasionally, that is, secretly and not-so-secretly because Alex knows how to fight and talk her way through with the chain of command when situations become dire and require Supergirl’s help. But it's not like Kara backs down when National City or the world needs her help. She can't be told of what she can and can't do. Kal, her cousin,  _he_  doesn't need to be with a government organization to be able to lend his powers for the good.

“So, I see you’ve been hanging out with Lena more often,” Alex comments a moment later, whipping out a mug and a spoon.

Kara wrinkles her nose. “Wow. Original, Alex, that’s a line I haven’t heard of yet,” she says drily.

Alex’s eyebrows shoot up. “Don’t go all sarcastic on me in the early morning. I’m still recovering from Colonel Haley’s talk,” she groans.

“Well, uh. Okay? Of course we hang out. Often or not, it’s whenever we can, I guess.” Kara takes another sip of her hot choco and wonders about what sparked this up.

“Uh huh,” Alex makes a non-committal sound as she rounds to the other side of the kitchen to empty the coffee bin.

“Is something supposed to happen? Or change?” Kara frowns, looking at her sister’s back. She wants to know. She actually  _really_ wants to know.

“Not really. It’s just something I noticed,” Alex says. “I was just wondering, since when did you do sleepovers?”

Kara whips her head to Alex so fast. “What?”

“Yeah?” Alex says slowly. “The sweet lady next door mentioned to me something about,” she looks up, quoting in the air, “ _your sister seems to be having lots of sleepover these days._ What did she mean by that?”

Kara cringes, lets out a small gasp. What is this betrayal. Oh, the sweet playful chatty old woman.

“Sleepovers,” Kara echoes, not quite sure what to say. “Exactly what it is.”

“Since when do you do sleepovers,” Alex points out suspiciously. “And at Lena’s at that?”

“I guess I do now. Sometimes. Lena’s place is really nice.”

“Right,” Alex says, squints her eyes. “Just speaking my views here, but honestly, Kara? You guys are seriously the chummiest buddies I know. It’s unreal.”

“Not as much as Brainy and Nia, surely.”

Alex arches an eyebrow up sharply, obviously not agreeing to that. “They don’t come as close one bit, and you know that. Not yet, at least. And the only difference I see here with you and Lena and them, is that they’re actually  _together._ ”

Kara feels herself freeze. There it is. Frowning, she looks away and watches the morning light seep through her windows.

“Not really following, Alex.”

“I’m just thinking, just how are you guys not involv—”

“ _Alex_ ,” Kara cuts her off with an uncomfortable laugh. And when silence hangs between them, she lets out a small smile followed by a silly huff in case that came out too strong or serious. It’s not meant to. Kara’s just a little (a lot) tired of it. The topic is old. Stale. And still, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect or bother her every time it’s brought up.

She understands Alex. But still, this never sits right with her.

Alex sighs, sets her mug down. “It’s been quite a while since Mon-El,” she says softly.

This captures Kara’s attention. She breaks into a confused chuckle. “Yeah?”

Her sister shrugs, looks at her dead-straight in the eye. “I just think you need some spice in your life.”

“What?” Eyebrows furrowing, she feels even more confused, “are you worried about my lack of love life now?” She grips at her chair absentmindedly. Accidentally makes a tiny dent on the wooden surface.

Alex just shrugs again. Leans on the counter casually and sips on her mug. “Well, it just worries me that you seem to hold yourself back from things. You’ve  _only_ been looking at your duties and CatCo. Nothing else. Like you’re following some serious code, or something,” she says, scratching at her eyebrow.

“Alex, are you really encouraging me to  _get out there_ ,” Kara chuckles, and though she feels a growing discomfort at the topic and Alex’s insinuations, it’s actually a little funny of her sister to tell her this. “Worried that I’m not living the best of my life?” she grins playfully.

“I mean, yeah. Ew. I really don’t want to think about you  _out there_ , but, yeah,” Alex laughs, causing Kara to giggle at the scrunch of her sister’s face. Alex’s face softens. “I just—worry. About you, you know.” Her sister’s mouth opens and closes, seeming like she’s considering her next words. “When something is happening. And even when something isn’t happening. I just worry about you.”

“I don’t like that I make you worry all the time.”

Alex snorts, shrugging. “It’s a big sister thing. Can’t help it.”

Standing up to her feet with her hands flat on the table, Kara rolls her eyes, grinning fondly at her sister. “You’re so mushy in this fine early morning,” she teases, wrapping her up in a bear hug. Alex, though with a sour look to her face, hugs her back and laughs.

Kara decides not to say anything further.

She isn’t exactly sure about what Alex thinks of her, or what goes through in her head. Maybe she does know, but she’s not sure she wants to delve into it. No, that’s not it. She does know. Alex’s insinuations, Kara knows there’s a link with Lena. She just doesn’t want to get into a conversation about it. It’s obvious, the remarks here and there.

She usually tells Alex things. Everything in her life. And though she and Lena have recently developed this  _thing_ between them, she knows she definitely can’t tell Alex about that. She doesn’t have to.

And one of the reason why she hasn’t told Alex is because she thinks— _knows_ Alex wouldn’t understand. Other people twist things into something else entirely enough. Alex already assumes some things, and Kara can’t blame her.

Nia knows. Really, she hadn’t meant to tell Nia about it. And unlike Nia and Brainy, who are moving speeds into each other higher and faster than the planes flying in the sky, she and Lena are, well. Inert. They are inert, parked planes on the ground not going anywhere. Parked away from each other, even, but parallel to the other.

Stationary.

And this is just how it is. This is where they’ll stay at because it feels okay and comfortable and safe, keeping the complicated things in the distance and far away. They’re just best friends.

This is what Kara tells herself because it’s true and simple.

 

* * *

 

The coming week and a half is an intense blur of clouds and smoke and guns firing. Fast, flying rogue aliens darting in the skies and more rogue aliens after rogue aliens added with groups of humans with guns swarming into banks and museums.

There’s nothing unique about this in Kara’s life.

And with the help of Alex and Brainy (secretly, or not so secretly when Colonel Haley saw her hanging by the DEO main control rooms), the casualty of it all is minimal, of both injury and damage to the aliens and humans and properties.

Fending the attacks hadn’t been difficult or anything, but it had been an exhausting and grueling time, leaving both Kara and Nia barely enough time for themselves outside their other life. And so by the end of it, she and Nia are stuck catching up on work and last minute deadlines.

“This is how my life really is now, huh,” Nia utters, yawning, and takes a moment for herself as she sits back on her chair, rubbing her temples tiredly.

“Life of a superhero with a stressful and demanding job on the side that pays averagely? Yeah,” Kara laughs, patting the younger woman on the back. “You’re getting better at juggling both. Dreamer and Nia Nal.” Two separate identities. Nia has to make a living, too.

A sigh. “Yeah. I really like doing this. Especially with you by my side—I’d be a mess without you, Brainy, Alex, and J’onn. Seriously. And you’ve been doing this for so long.”

Kara looks at her, wonders if Nia would fall into a difficult self-reflection of her dual identity at some point. Kara knows a lot about that. She’s an expert at it, even, despite how self-deprecating that sounds. They are patterns of energy in constant motion. She’d make sure to keep Nia afloat if the younger woman would ever come around to it.

They’re currently in the CatCo building catching up on work and it’s already late—the whole floor is empty save for the two of them sat together behind Kara’s desk. The sounds of electronic devices buzz steadily around them as a few light panels flicker brokenly on the other side of the room.

By the hour, Kara’s desk is littered with empty coffee-stained cups. Nia’s downed three coffees already and Kara thinks she might need a fourth one soon. They’re  _that_ behind on work.

Kara pulls back away from her screen, stretching on her chair and letting out a small grumble.

“Rao, finally. I’m done. Nia?” she looks at the younger woman lazily, the side of her face hanging against the back of her chair. Relentlessly, the light panels continue to flutter brokenly, cracking on and off much louder in Kara’s ears than she would like. She’s going to make sure she'll have those panels fixed the next morning.

“Almost, I’m almost done.”

“Okay,” Kara yawns. That’s good. Then her stomach rumbles loudly. Very, very loudly echoing all round the office floor. That’s not good. “Ha.”

“Yes, I heard that. Ten more minutes and I’m done,” Nia promises, and her typing speeds up.

A minute passes and her stomach grumbles again. And again.

“Stop bothering me,” Nia scowls.

“Rude,” Kara says, sits on her chair properly and lays her head on her arms on the desk. “That’s my stomach. Leave my stomach alone.”

“Yes, yes,” Nia mumbles distractedly, eyes scrutinizing her laptop screen steadily. She squints and blinks as she goes over paragraphs after paragraphs. Kara just watches her boredly. “Kara, please. I know that if I look at you, I’ll give in because I know you definitely have that cute hungry puppy look right now.”

Kara cocks an eyebrow up, half face buried in her arms. “I’m just watching you work. Also, I do not exude cute hungry puppy looks.”

“You do, and I can see you in the corner of my eye.” Nia stops typing for a moment. Kara can see— _feel_ the way Nia’s eyes shake trying not to look at her direction. She can’t help the curl of her lips. “You’re scary. You should know the power that you have.”

“Power?” Now Kara’s intrigued, feels her hunger slightly diminish.

Nia groans. “Please go bother Lena, or something.”

Lena.

At the sudden mention of the name, Kara doesn’t like how her ears instantly perk up.

And now, bored and hungry as she listens to Nia type and type—she thinks about Lena. She wonders what the CEO’s doing right now. If she’s been eating well or hydrating herself properly. They had texted a few times in the past days, mostly a few sentences here and there—nothing important or eventful.

Kara hasn’t seen her in a while. They had tried to make time to see each other in the passing days of last week, but they had all ended up unsuccessfully. Lena had to cancel on her yesterday. She’s a busy woman, too. It’s been two weeks, but Kara feels like it’s been ages since she’s seen her. Rao, that’s a little silly to think. But two weeks is a lot, in Kara’s fair standard and defense.

She hasn’t seen Lena since… since at her penthouse. When Lena had accidentally kissed her on the mouth.

Oh.

Right. Okay. That happened. Kara became so busy day after day after that, she didn’t really get to think of it much. Now she finds herself thinking about it now. Why is she even thinking about it now, it was just a minor thing. Intrusive images flood her head. She ruffles through her blonde locks, feels her cheeks reddening.

Why is she even getting flustered about that. Rao, they’ve done so much more than that. Much worse. And right now she feels her face flushing, remembering that small accidental kiss.

It’s ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous considering the insanely non-platonic things they’ve done. Kara shifts, buries her entire face on the surface of the desk like that’ll help prevent the thoughts and images, forehead pillowed by her arms.

“Ugh, man,” Nia makes a troubled sound, and Kara pipes her head up, a little startled. “Sorry, this piece is just giving me a headache. Or not really, just a little tired from the past weeks and the exhaustion is just really coming for me.”

Kara hums, looks at her laptop screen in concern. “Do you need help? I can help, you know.” She sits up straighter, drags her hands down her face and wills herself to stop all thoughts about Lena.

“Oh, no. It’s not a difficult piece. Like I said, I’m almost done,” Nia waves her off, smiling in appreciation. “This just isn’t exactly the type of topic I’d like to write about, but I have to keep going through it.” She bobs her head down below the desk, reaches for her laptop’s charger.

“What are you even writing about? Also hey, you never know. You could win a Pulitzer prize for whatever it is you’re writing about right now.”

“Kara,” Nia barks out a choked laugh in total disbelief, “I’m writing about the current hotspots of alien bars in National City.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Think it’s hard-hitting enough?” Nia jokes, winking.

Kara sighs, chuckles. “I mean. Okay, no. But! I’d like to read on that, actually. Now that I think about it, I only know and go to one bar.”

“Oh, that bar where J’onn’s friend worked at?”

“That’s right,” she says. “Have you been there?”

Nia purses her lips together. “I haven’t, actually.”

“What? Really?” Nia nods. “Then I’ll take you there sometime. Call me bias, but I reckon it’s the best alien bar here in the city. Low-key, high-key best.” Kara halts, thinking to herself. “Ah. Right, it’s an underground bar which is why you probably haven’t heard of it.”

“Oh, it’s an underground bar? Yeah, I guess maybe that’s why. Also, That  _is_ extremely bias, Miss Pulitzer-award winner,” the younger woman rolls her eyes, chuckling.

“Nia,” Kara scoffs, slightly embarrassed.

“What? Hey, I heard about how you sat and wrote your award-winning article right at Lena’s desk all in one go. That was amazing. Brainy told me,” Nia tells her. Her gaze softens. “But I can imagine how emotionally draining writing that article was. That piece was amazing. Really.”

Kara isn’t exactly overly fond of the memory of writing the article. She, at the time, was too busy worrying whether or not people would read it. To relay the facts, have all the people around the world enlightened by what was truly happening at the time. It was a rough time. Was especially so, when it was an expose piece about your best friend’s psychopathic brother.

She rubs her eyes, nods, and smiles. “So, are you almost done yet?”

Nia gasps, “Right. I just need to—wait. Wait.” It takes her several minutes, until she strikes a fist in the air, shaking excitedly out of pure relief that it’s all over now. “All right. Now I am!” She turns to face Kara, grinning. “Done, done, donezo. I can’t believe it. We powered through and survived,” she says, and sinks in her chair, shoulders and body sagging down.

“We did,” Kara grins, and laughs at the sight of the younger woman. There are bags underneath Nia’s eyes and the exhaustion is evident in her features. Kara smiles fondly. “So, dinner? Very, very late dinner, but still dinner nonetheless. My treat.”

And with that, Nia’s body posture brims with life as her face lights up instantly.

“Don’t get super excited just yet, we have to find a restaurant that’s open around this time,” Kara chuckles.

“Oh, man. True,” Nia huffs, pouting. They start packing up.

 

* * *

 

More days pass by as a blur.

It’s late in the evening when Kara’s just finished helping Alex out on a task. She’s standing at the DEO main control room, eyes alert on the lookout for Colonel Haley in case she makes an appearance. Then she puts her phone away. She’s just finished exchanging texts with Lena. Another cancelled dinner. Lena’s had to cancel on several lunches and dinner with her these past two weeks, and they still haven’t seen each other since the penthouse. But on the cancellation note, Kara’s grateful because she doesn’t think she can keep her eyes open any more longer for later.

This is how your social life is, being a Luthor or a Super, she thinks.

Her eyes travel back up, searching behind the walls for the Director. Fortunately, she knows all about the blind spots in the DEO where the cameras won’t see her. She’s way too sleepy and sluggish to receive a lecture about not being allowed here from the vicious, strict woman. And the only reason why she’s still out here is to give Alex some moral support (and for the off-chance that she’ll be able to snag a few bites of the Churros).

“Kara. Kara, I’m going to do it. I’m really going to do it.”

Alex stands with a box of freshly bought churros. The fresh smell lingers around the room, and some passing DEO agents watch her sister curiously.

“It’s a little overdue, but good luck,” Kara laughs, hand on her hip. “If she ends up not wanting it, tell me. You have to tell me. Let’s eat it together.” Then when she looks around again, she finally spots a familiar face and figure behind a wall, clearly heading for this way. “Oh, Rao—Alex. She’s coming,” she scrambles around, ready to fly off, “okay, I’m going to leave. Seriously. Good luck.” She nods solemnly, and Alex just grimaces with her box of churros.

She takes flight before Colonel Haley walks into the room.

 

* * *

 

It’s not until three days later that she sees Lena. It’s been a little more than two weeks.

“That beanie looks nice on you.”

Kara sees Lena walk towards her on the footpath. She stands up by the bench, wide grin already forming across her lips at the familiar deep voice and at the sight of the woman.

“Why, thanks.”

Lena smiles, comes to a stop when she reaches Kara.

“Sorry I’m late. Got held up by a few things.”

“That’s okay.”

It’s late at night, the sky blanketed by large thick grey clouds with the crescent moon hidden behind. Kara looks up, blows a steamy fog into the air. The glow of the stars can’t be seen here from the city unless Kara concentrates for it. The light of the city bustles, brimming with brightness unapologetically up to the night sky. They’re walking at the sidewalks, passing by streets after streets, populated by people strolling around alongside restaurants and stands, running and busy.

“You know, Winn came to me the other day,” Lena says. “He proposed a few plans to me. Said he’d like to work with me—on some projects and tech ideas.”

“And what did you say?”

“I’ve seen him work at the DEO. His skill-sets, capabilities?” Lena says. “He has a penchant for invention. Sharp problem-solving skills, great critical thinking. I agreed, we could definitely work on some things together.”

“That’s nice. I actually recommended him to come to you,” Kara mentions.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Although he did require a little pushing. Or  _lots_ ,” she corrects herself, chuckling.

Lena smiles. “Well, he’s still quite…” she hums, turns her head and watches the passing cars on the road. “I can’t really pinpoint it. Nervous around me? Twitchy? Just clearly intimidated by me.”

“Well… You’re Lena Luthor. You  _can_ be quite intimidating, you know. You carry this…” Kara trails off, scrunching her face. She glances towards Lena, wonders just how much the Luthor is aware of how naturally she asserts confidence and charisma. “Palpable intense aura around you? Surely you’re aware of the effect you can have on people.”

“You’re never intimidated by me.” Lena looks at her.

“No,” she gives a wry chuckle. “But I do get nervous around you. Sometimes. But never in a bad way.”

“I make you nervous,” Lena says, sounding amused and it comes out as a half-question. In the distance, Kara sees an ice cream shop. She’s about to ask Lena if she wants ice cream. Decides against it a second later, when she remembers how cold the night is today.

“You do,” Kara nods. “At first, I often fumbled my words around you when we weren’t that close.” She licks her lips, fixes her glasses as she looks straight ahead.

“And now?”

Kara doesn’t really need to think about it. “And now, I still do that—only out of natural habit  though. Now, I just feel comfortable with you.” A beat later. “You make me feel comfortable.”

They round off to a new corner, a new street. It’s quieter here. Less people. Less restaurants. More trees. “You make me feel comfortable, too,” Lena says after a moment.

Kara adjusts the red beanie on her head and shoves her hands in the pockets of her jeans. It’s been a while since they had taken a simple walk at night together. It’s what they would often do—simple, short or long walks at night to unwind or just simply catch up and enjoy each other’s company.

As they walk, Kara gives Lena a side glance. Lena’s hair is loose and tousled, slightly tangled. Her long, raven black curls flow freely in the air as the breezy winds whisk pass them, looking pretty and elegant in the dark, cold night. Lena wears a black faded jeans and a simple dark red coat with layers underneath it, with her black rimmed glasses masking over her face. She doesn’t look like the guarded, sharp and calculating CEO Lena Luthor. Far from it. People wouldn’t recognize her in this attire unless they’d take a careful, purposeful look at her up close. But she looks just as much as Lena Luthor is to Kara.

When they pass by a lamp post, Kara spots a very familiar navy blue sweater hiding well underneath the coat. Kara cracks into a smile, tries not to stare at it too much. She thinks Lena looks really nice with it even though she laments on the fact that she misses wearing the comfy material.

Curling her hands into a ball in her pockets, Kara feels a gush of warmth and a pleasant twist in her stomach. Lena looks really, really nice. Because Lena looks great wearing sweaters. Yeah. Not because she’s wearing Kara’s sweater, or anything. No.

There’s a footbridge up ahead of the road. Kara leads Lena to the stairs and up to the bridge. They walk and walk, until Lena stops at the middle of the bridge and shifts herself leaning onto the railings, her arms resting on the steel bars. Kara follows after her.

“You know, there’s a new dessert shop that opened just recently in this area just down this road.” Lena stares at the road below them, watching cars, trucks, and motorcycles pass by under the bridge.

“Really? Then we should go there sometime,” Kara says, and places her arms on the railings. Their shoulders touch. Kara lets herself lean on Lena’s shoulder. “You’ve cancelled on two lunches with me in the past two weeks. Dinner, too.”

“Kara,” Lena chuckles, shakes her head. “To be fair, you've cancelled on me, too, on the other days.”

Kara smiles, sighs. “We’re very good at cancelling on each other.”

“Yes, but we’re also very good at making time for each other when we’re less busy. So, I’ll take you to the place sometime this week? Assuming you’re less busy now, that is.”

“I think so, for now.” A new dessert shop to try out and review. This is going to be good. “Assuming Lena Luthor herself is also less busy. Spare time for me, maam,” Kara grins, tips her head at Lena and raises two fingers up to her brow in salutation.

Lena rolls her eyes, giving her a fond shove. “I’ll take you there. Sometime this week,” she confirms, the corners of her mouth tugging upwards.

“Great. Then I can give Alex a full descriptive review of the food menu,” Kara nods to herself, grinning. Alex likes desserts, too. She could take her there, if the menu and servings turn out to be good enough. “And then she’ll also grumble about how I spend most of my free time with you and that I have no game with other people,” she snorts.

“What, do Alex and the others still tease you about your lack of love life?”

“Tease you being with me, moreof,” Kara says, clasping her hands together as she observes the busy road with Lena. “But things along that line, too. Nothing new. They can be so persistent. It makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong, like something’s supposed to change,” she elaborates further, shrugging.

In her peripheral, she sees the way Lena turns her head to her. She feels her gaze.

“You've mentioned about this before. You can't do relationships—aren't really looking for one,” Lena pauses, expression thoughtful. “Are you content in being alone?”

A tiny water droplet drops in the middle of the road. “I don't want to be alone,” Kara says honestly, brows furrowing as it’s uttered out of her mouth. She looks up, briefly wondering if it's going to rain before she looks back down, squinting at the droplet. “I just want to be left alone.” It's not completely true. But it’s not a lie, either. That's just an answer she’s been able to settle with—can settle with. Satisfied with. She glances sideways to Lena.

The raven-haired woman hums softly, gaze dropping down to the bristling trees. “To be left alone by them or be overall left alone?”

Kara bites her bottom lip, hesitates. “Lena, isn't it crappy that I have to justify it? How everyone assumes that being with someone is—I don't know, the goal?” she says gently, pensively, scratching at the back of her ear. Is she coming out as defensive? She hopes not. She’s just speaking her mind.

Seconds tick by and then Lena nods with a gentle smile gracing across her lips. “You're right.”

Kara shuffles on her feet, adjusts her glasses. Jutts her tongue out to wet her lips. “And besides… I’ve never been able to make relationships work. I’m not good at them,” she says, letting out a quiet chuckle. She breathes in unsteadily. “I’ve broken noses in the past. Or more than just noses, actually.” That was the past. She’s better at handling things now. But she still says it, because she can never be too sure of when’s the next time she could break a bone accidentally. She hasn’t for a long time (not unintentionally). “I don’t know how to be a good date. You know how terrible I can be with… dates, picking my own clothes. Alex has—had to help me with those stuff.” She blushes, bobs down and buries her chin on her arms. Their elbows touch. Lena smiles at her, fond.

“I don’t know if I can feel something so intense for someone. I’ve never felt anything like that. Yet, maybe, but I don’t know if I can. In a romantic sense.” She thinks about Mon-El. He probably was the closest to her feeling something akin to love. He was there, but even then Kara knew there weren’t any burning, vivacious feeling, or a semblance of something that feels all-consuming for him. “And I’m not available enough.” Kara thinks back to her previous, long ago dates. That’s a big problem, too. She thinks of James and Lucy. Alex and Kelly. Wonders again, if dating is in the cards for her in her life. She shuts down the thought quickly. No. There’s a reason why she hasn’t been able to make her relationships work in the past. It just might be a  _her_ thing. A Kara thing.

Kara turns her head, looking at Lena. Lena holds her gaze, studies her for a moment before Lena looks down at her own hands, settling her gaze over to the city road view. The city neon lights reflects on her face, revealing the outline of her sharp, chiselled profile. Her raven-black hair, neon lights of pink and blue and green hues blend in prettily at the fiber strands. Kara thinks she’s never seen anything prettier under the dark night sky.

“Availability,” Lena says, low and almost whispering, eyebrows furrowing as if in contemplation. “We have a lot in common.” She halts, seeming as if to consider something for a moment. “Except the whole breaking bones part, and dates.” Kara huffs out a laugh at that. Lena smiles, reaches out and gives Kara’s wrist a tender squeeze. “And if we were to talk about the breaking part… I don’t know how it was for you in the past. It must’ve been difficult. To be in constant fear of shattering everything that you touch. I can’t imagine it.” The Irish woman frowns, bites her lip. She looks at Kara. “But talking about the present? You’ve come a long way. I think I know and have had enough  _experiences_ with you to see that you’ve come far. You’ve gotten better at controlling yourself when it comes to physical contact.” Lena presses her arm against Kara's, head almost hanging on Kara's shoulder when she leans in close. “I know  _all_  about that.”

Taken aback, Kara’s mouth opens and closes. “I—” she says, so eloquent, and flushes red, tugging on the lapels of her jacket. Blinks once, twice, then scratches at her neck and lets out a breathy, sheepish chuckle. Lena watches her attentively, all soft and gentle and smiling. “Geez, Lena.”

“Flustered?” Lena says with a teasing lilt in her voice. She tilts her head to meet Kara’s front view (as Kara avoids eye-contact intentionally, all the while failing hard at that) and eventually Kara gives in, meeting her in the eyes. “You’re so cute.”

How Lena says these things to her so easily—Kara will never know. What would the people of National City think—no, the world, when they hear Lena Luthor calling someone _cute_ in pure adoration.

“But on another note?” Lena says a little later, nudges her by the shoulder with a pointed, more serious look. “Kara. You’re so gentle. The most gentle person I know in fact. Sometimes I forget that you’re technically the strongest person in the world.”

Kara smiles bashfully, scratching her cheek. The tip of her ears are probably burning red by now.

“Also,” Lena hums, elbow on the rail, cheek cradled by her palm, “back to availability. I guess—we can wallow in being alone together. I can barely find the time for myself. You know that.” That’s true. They both live in different worlds—the normalcy that they see and have aren’t the same and can’t even be compared to the usual lives of other people.

But Kara wonders about Lena’s past relationships. She wonders if Lena… keeps it casual with other people. Or something. Grimacing to herself, Kara quickly burns the thought away in her head. Don’t think about that. That’s none of her business.

“I can’t see myself in a relationship, either,” Lena explains further. Kara looks at her, studies her. Lena’s face is unreadable, eyes absent. Distant. “I mean—the vulnerableness, trust, and intimacy... all that terrifies me. I think it always will.”

Kara nods absentmindedly, recalling the things Lena had gone through throughout her whole life, and throughout her time with Kara. She frowns, hand curling on the steel railings and feels her shoulders slightly tensing. Trust and vulnerableness. The huge number of people who have hurt and betrayed Lena in the past—Kara is one of them. Somewhere on the top of the list, even. In fact she might be the top number one—the one person who had hurt her the most.

“You're not terrified of me,” she says, a little weakly, a little like a question, and a little with confidence.

“No, I'm not.” Lena smiles, eyebrows furrowed, but smiles. Small, honest, and so, so sure.

Kara lets out a quiet, quivering exhale at that. Feels her heart warm and liquify as her shoulders loosen. The whole Supergirl and the piled up secrets thing she had kept from Lena—for years at that—it may be all history now, but it’ll always be one of Kara’s deepest regrets.

“So,” Lena says, voice a little higher than her usual octave, twisting into a grin as she playfully bumps Kara by the shoulder, snapping Kara out of her trance, “club member meetings every Saturday at night. Alex, Kelly, Brainy, and Nia are all uninvited—all unqualified for a card membership.”

“Club member meetings? Card membership?” Kara barks out a confused laugh.

“That’s right. We’re, ah. The pitiful loner duo,” Lena states, half-shrugs. “No one does and knows  _alone_ better than us, right?” the Irish woman jokes, the deprecation heavy yet light between them. “Go, us.”

_A Super and a Luthor_ , Kara thinks to herself amusedly.

“Wow. This sounds so sad and pathetic.” She can’t help but break into a laugh. Lena laughs with her and leans on her shoulder, whispering a cheeky  _then we’ll be sad and pathetic together_ with an easy wink. The physical contact makes Kara feel very soft and nice. She angles herself to Lena, presses herself further into the touch. “Together then, huh.” Honestly, it sounds so ridiculous. But it also sounds viable, surprisingly. “Alone together. Just you and I.”

“Yeah.”

How contradicting does that sound.

Kara grins softly, looking down. She can get behind that idea. It’s comforting, in a way. Even if it’s a little sad and twisted.

Lena’s hand moves, settles itself over Kara’s knuckles by the railings. A thumb circles softly on Kara’s skin, and Kara lets her hand still, arms resting on the steel bars. It’s not long before she hears a shuddering draw of breath next to her.

Kara wonders how cold it’s starting to get. Lena takes her hand back.

They settle into a comfortable silence for the next few minutes, body leaning on each other as they watch the dark night sky and the busy city road view. At some point, Kara sees a change in the air, transitioning into something more cold and biting. She can’t exactly feel it per se, but she can see how it’s starting to affect Lena, who starts blowing copious amounts of foggy air out from her mouth as she shivers and rubs her hands together.

Letting out a soft sigh, Kara takes off her red beanie and places it on Lena’s head. Lena blinks, lips slightly parting as she stays still and watches Kara adjust the wool beanie on her head snug and comfortable.

“You’re not stealing this beanie. In case you have some thoughts, by the way.”

Lena lets out a lovely chuckle, bright like the fireworks, eyes forming into full pretty crescents and dimples making appearance. “I had some thoughts,” she admits, eyebrow arched with a pretty smirk. Kara rolls her eyes, resisting the sudden urge to pinch the tip of the Luthor’s (most likely cold) ear.

With a final adjustment to the beanie on Lena’s head, she huffs out contently, gaze dropping down to Lena.

They’re close enough that the tips of their sneakers are touching.

Kara tucks in a strand of loose hair behind Lena’s ear, still not quite taking her hand away from Lena.

Emerald-green eyes gaze back at her intently, curiously, and fondly. Lena looks so pretty and soft and squishy. Just the kind of pretty in the sense that, in an alternate universe—whether she's walking down the street, or at a cafe, or at a hall—Kara thinks she’d probably stop and stare if she sees her.

She doesn’t quite realize she’s staring until Lena cranes her neck, arches an eyebrow and looks at her quizzically before breaking into a gorgeous smile. Kara smiles back subconsciously. Her hands fall back down to her sides. Shoves her hands back in her pockets.

There's this intimacy in their proximity, that even in the middle of the bridge as people pass them by the minute, this feels private. Special.

Like in moments like these, it’s only a Kara and Lena thing. A Lena and Kara thing.

Lena studies her closely, red rosy lips parting gently. A breeze whisks pass them, and her long, raven black hair flow into the air freely as few strands of hair fall near her eye view. There's a pause in which their surrounding area goes very still.

Something—an urge or desire, snakes its way, unsolicited in Kara’s brain.

Kara wants to reach out and cup Lena’s flushed cheeks and kiss her.

She wants to pull her in and kiss her and hold her close.

But they don’t do that. They don’t do that because that’s weird. Sure, they have sex and make-out, all purely to make each other feel good and for stress-relief.

But they don’t do  _that_ at all.

But maybe Kara  _could_ reach out and pull her in.

From the start, it did all stem from  _as simple as wanting to,_ after all _._

But still. No. They’re not like that.

They do not randomly reach out to each other like that. Especially out in the open. That would be too intimate in its own right, and doing that would  _mean something_. This kind of gesture, the intimacy behind it, would only blanket them both whole with unsurety and questions. It would also be an acknowledgement to something, as well as breaking a new boundary. Kara thinks they’ve had enough.

But she really wants to. She shakes her head. Blames it on the cold night (even if she knows full well that she can’t feel coldness the same way as humans do) and being caught up dazed in the moment of tranquil.

So she settles for turning herself back to the road view, bringing an arm around Lena’s shoulder and pulling her in close to her body instead, trying to give her some of her own heat as she rubs up and down on Lena’s arm. Lena leans into her touch, pressing herself onto Kara, head hanging on Kara’s shoulder.

It’s nice. Kara really, really likes how Lena is shorter than her. Perfect height.

They stay talking for at least another half an hour until Kara thinks they should head back. It’s getting too cold. Humans are very susceptible to catching a simple cold. She can’t have a sick Lena turn up after a few days. Sick Lena has no concept of appropriate working hours just as much as healthy Lena.

Kara walks her back to the penthouse. It’s not a long walk for them.

In front of the building, they come to a stop. Lena turns towards her, looking slightly hesitant.

“I know it’s already late, but—if you want, would you like to come up with me?” Lena says, looking up at her. There’s a hopeful glint to her eyes, extremely subtle in its course. Kara’s well-familiar enough with the Luthor woman to see it.

She considers it, touching the fabrics of the insides of her jean pockets.

“Sure. I’d like that.”

 

* * *

 

Kara takes her shoes and jacket off when she steps into the penthouse. She looks around as Lena tells her she’s going into her room to change, and instantly she spots a new mini potted plant by the kitchen counter. That’s cute. The box of chamomile tea is out in the open, too, and it’s clear it’s being consumed every now and then. That’s also nice. Very nice.

She sits by the kitchen stool, sees a coat she hasn’t seen before hanging on the couch across the spacious room.

A thought comes back to her.

See, her best friend is an incredibly attractive woman. Intelligent. Witty. Flirty. Flirty? Wait. Kara doesn’t think she’s ever seen Lena flirt with anyone in her years of knowing her. Well. It’s not like she sees every interactions Lena has with other people.

But she wonders yet again if Lena takes other people in when she’s feeling lonely. Now that she thinks about it, she hasn’t the slightest clue about that part of Lena’s life. She stays away from relationships, avoids them just as much as Kara does—that much Kara knows.

But what was that word she’d heard Nia say before? Laid. Get laid, that’s it.

She shakes her head quickly, forces the thoughts to stop. Berates herself. No. Don’t assume. That’s rude, and it’s really not her business.

It’s not until a moment later that she hears a small  _Kara?_ come from Lena’s bedroom. Kara walks towards the room, sees the door open already.

“Yeah?” She stands by the doorway.

“Come here with me for a bit?” Lena’s sat on her bed, her attire changed into shorts, but donning the same navy blue sweater. The Luthor pats on the mattress, gesturing for Kara to sit next to her. “I’d like to show you something.”

Curious, she nods and sits beside Lena.

There’s a slight hesitance in Lena’s movements when she takes out a rectangular device out of a box beside the nightstand. Kara tilts her head. Its quality and fancy appearance makes it looks like a high-tech quality tool. It looks expensive.

“Is that some sort of scanner?” Kara questions, eyebrow lifting at the object.

“Sort of, yes,” Lena says, turning to look at her. “It’s a new and updated biometric scanner. For my elevator security up to the penthouse. And balcony.”

Kara slowly nods, “Okay?” She’s not sure what Lena’s trying to get at, so she just looks back and forth between the Irish woman and the device.

“I was thinking,” Lena pauses, presses her lips in a thin line, eyebrows drawing in together. Kara thinks it’s been a while since she’s seen Lena uncertain of something, radiating timidness. “Your hand. On this scanner. Would you like to place your hand on it?” she says simply. Vaguely.

Oh.

Tens of thoughts run wildly in Kara’s head. There’s so many implications to this. She blinks, not sure what exactly to think. But it’s Lena, and she trusts Lena on everything. So she just blurts out: “Okay.”

“It’s not weird, is it.” There’s nervousness in her tone. Kara frowns. Lena shouldn’t be nervous and unsure around her. “I just. I don’t mind the idea of you coming here whenever you want to. You’ve been coming here often, so… it’s just a thought I have.”

“I can come here anytime I want?” It comes out as a sputter. Kara doesn’t mean to sputter.

“Well,” Lena wets her lips. “Or, you can just think of it as a place you can come over to when you’re having issues with your apartment.”

“Issues? Like that time when my neighbour caused a fire and everyone had to stay out for two days?”

“Yes.”

“Like when every time I lose my keys in the middle of a battle, I would often end up having to sleep at Alex’s for a bit and see my sister being grossly mushy with Kelly. But I could go to yours instead?”

“Yes.”

“Like—”

“Whether you’re having issues  _or not_ , Kara,” Lena clarifies, shaking her head with a light chuckle.

Kara grins. “Okay, I get it. But you sure? Any time I want?” Humming in faux skepticalness, she’s unable to stop the next words that come out of her mouth, “What if I walk in on you getting it on with someone,” she half-jokes. “Wouldn't want to traumatize your best friend, do ya.”

Well. Kara wants to slap herself on the face. Does she actually want to know? She scratches at her lap. Probably not. Immediately, she wants to take it back.

Lena cocks an eyebrow up. She squints subtly in way as if Kara had just said something dumb. Kara doesn’t think it was dumb.

“I don’t know what goes in your head and I can’t tell if that was a joke,” Lena says drily, swatting Kara with an elbow. Her expression turns into something stern and solemn a second later. “No. You won’t be walking into anything like that.”

Oh. Well.

Okay. Kara just nods. And then Lena looks back at her device, trepidation in her posture once more. Right. She’s waiting for Kara’s decision.

“Sure, I think it’s neat,” Kara says softly, humming thoughtfully. “That way, I can come up whenever I want and ravage the kitchen unbeknownst to the owner,” she jokes (not really), and bumps the woman on her shoulder in an attempt to dissipate the nervous energy bubbling from her. Lena huffs out a chuckle at that, nods more confidently this time.

“That’s already a given.” Lena lifts the tool up for Kara, and Kara lays her whole hand onto the surface of the scanner. It takes a few seconds until it beeps in succession, confirming that it got what it wanted. Kara then flushes, scratches the back of her neck when she takes her hand back.

Don’t overthink it. Don’t overanalyze it. She is just being given the permission to enter Lena’s home anytime she’d like to.

That’s all.

She swallows hard. That doesn’t stop her from melting into a puddle of affection for Lena, though.

Lena trusts her enough to let her into her private confines. She’s  _that_ comfortable with her. Wow.

(Kara’s heart soars, swoops, and pirouettes in her chest, and she can’t help the burning feeling that creeps onto her cheeks and neck.)

Lena lets out a sigh, almost heavy in a way like she’s been holding her breath, and small  _okay okay’s_ coming out of her mouth like she’s saying it to herself.

Kara watches the Irish woman fiddle with the device before she puts it back into the box.

“You know, I met up with Alex and Nia the other day at my office. Which was an odd combo, considering how Nia seems to be with you or Brainy most of the time,” Lena mentions. “How’s Nia been? She looked like she was on the verge of falling asleep when they asked for some L-corp tech.”

“Suffering and adjusting,” Kara grins, taking her legs up and crossing them on the mattress as she recalls their rush to submit their articles before the deadline. The younger woman had heavy, drooping eye-bags for days, had complained about why Kara wasn’t getting any of them. The answer to that had been obvious, but that hadn’t stopped Nia from pouting and rubbing her face in exhaustion. Alex thought it was amusing. Brainy was freaking out. “I made her take two days off. Can’t have her falling asleep in CatCo much more than she already does, employees will notice and wonder about her.”

“She’s really lucky to have you mentoring her. A good kid she is.”

“Eh. She can be such a rascal sometimes.”

Lena laughs at that. “I believe that.”

And then silence falls between them, with Lena just looking at her. Kara notices she’s been doing that more lately. And as always, Kara feels her gut coil at the prolonged gaze, unsure of what the Luthor is thinking about.

She shivers at the eye contact and tries to make sense of the look Lena’s giving her.

Kara doesn’t get to ask what’s up before Lena shifts on the mattress, suddenly wrapping her arms around Kara, pulling her in for a hug. Kara finds herself reciprocating immediately, automatically, like it’s instinctive to wrap her arms around Lena.

“It’s a little ridiculous,” Lena says quietly, and her hold tightens around Kara’s back and neck. “It feels like I hadn’t seen you in a while.”

“It’s not ridiculous,” Kara thinks, voices out. She closes her eyes and breathes Lena in, feeling a certain lightheadedness gushing in her head. Kara thinks she could probably drown in Lena’s scent. How does Lena always smell so good? She cards her fingers through Lena's hair, and Lena makes a soft noise, snuggling further into Kara. “I think the same.”

And then Lena pulls back a little, her hands dropping down to Kara’s lap. Lips parting slightly, she regards Kara with another look again as her cheeks fill with pink hues. Kara doesn’t miss the way her pupils dilate in motion.

Kara could kiss her.

Kara could kiss her here and now where it won’t mean anything and won’t lead to anything that could spark a troubling question or thought.

Kara could kiss her.

So she does exactly that: she surges forward, slow in a way to allow Lena some time, and hears the hitch of Lena’s breath before their lips connect. Then she pulls back, angles her head for better contact when she leans back in.

Lena’s lips are so soft and plump, Kara sighs onto the kiss pleasantly. She feels like she’s kissed Lena so many times now. Definitely more than she expected. Yet it feels like the first time all over again.

There’s no such fervor in the kiss, nothing heated or frantic. Lips mash and mash together, unhurried and slow. Soon enough, Lena reaches up to cup Kara's jawline with her palm, uses the other hand to take hold on Kara's shoulder.

At some point, Kara’s glasses are removed and they move to the middle of the bed with Kara pushing Lena down by the shoulder gently, flat on her back.

If Kara's being entirely honest, she likes Lena's bed better than her own, and only a part of it has to do with the fact that Lena's bed is bigger and comfier and cozier, and mostly has to do with the fact that Lena is in Lena's bed. But she doesn't dwell on it much, though.

Kara goes down and presses a kiss to her jaw, starting a line down to her neck and then to the hollow of her throat.

“Kara,” Lena breathes, a hand pressing against the small of Kara’s back as she arches up against Kara.

“Yeah?” Kara mumbles.

“That feels nice,” Lena says, voice soft and quiet, and her hands slip into Kara’s hair, tugging her hair tie away, losing the ponytail. Kara responds by skimming her teeth lightly over Lena’s neck, and Lena gasps, tugging her closer. “You feel nice.”

“Good. I like making you feel nice,” she utters against her neck, which evokes a low groan from Lena, the vibration from her throat humming against Kara’s mouth.

Lena tips her head back, giving Kara more skin to taste. Kara presses her mouth onto her neck and starts licking and nipping at different areas, enjoying the quiet breathy sounds Lena makes. She slips a hand underneath Lena’s sweater, her hand wandering its way onto Lena’s breast. The nub, already hard when it makes contact with her thumb, she swipes at it with pressure, and palms Lena’s breast into a squeeze.

“Fuck,” Lena hisses softly, quietly, at the contact.

“That’s the idea,” Kara says, her voice teetering on the edge of hoarse.

Lena laughs, husky and breathless. “Is it?”

The noise of the city is muted outside, but the sound of Lena's breathing and her beating heart is deafening, filling the room like an endless echo.

Kara lifts her head up, takes a tentative look at Lena as she hovers above her. Lena looks quite disheveled already, hair mussed, pupils blown out, lips swollen. But she also looks so soft and delicate and pliant and just simply, easily breakable.

It draws a deep shuddering breath from Kara.

“Kara?”

She shakes her head. “Just thinking. About some things again. About what we were talking about earlier.”

“Which part?”

“How I always have to mind my strength. You’re… you’re so soft, Lena. And fragile.  _Human_.” Kara looks down, licks her lips, as she traces her finger alongside Lena’s collarbone. “It’s just a little daunting sometimes— _every time_ , I mean, when. When we…”

Lena, as ever the patient woman, waits for her to finish her sentence. But Kara can’t find a way to voice it out. She shrugs helplessly, eyes flicking away from the quiet, attentive woman below her.

_Get physically intimate? Get lost and tangled up in each other?_

“Kara, actually…”

Soft hands reach up and cup onto her cheeks, turning her face which makes her look at Lena. And in an instant, she finds herself trapped under Lena’s intense yet reluctant gaze.

“I may have a red sun lamp installed here. In this room, the recessed lights. Inactive, of course, unless you’d like to try it out.”

“A red sun lamp?” Kara blinks, floundering a bit.

Lena nibbles on her bottom lip, slides her hands down Kara’s neck, thumb grazing her jaw. “I do notice and feel how much you hold back. I don’t like that for you. So I made some tweaks and created a lamp version just a few weeks ago.”

A little lost for words, she just looks at Lena.

“Ah.”

“Was that okay?” Lena says, with a crack to her voice. “Or... if you want, we could just forget about that and—”

“No,” Kara cuts her off, feels her hands curling inwards at the sheets on either side of Lena’s head. She sees the bob of Lena’s throat as she stares down at her. “Turn it on.”

And Lena obeys, her arm reaching to the bedside. Her hand lands on the wall just behind the nightstand.

The sound of a  _click_ pops in Kara’s eardrums, and immediately she feels a sharp shift of change in the air.

Closing her eyes, she inhales deeply. Exhales, feels, and  _feels,_ as the dim light around the room scatter and reflect. There’s a particular draining feeling in her gut as she feels how different—the intensity of how her blood gushes in her veins, like an adrenaline rush from an fierce fight, and feels the vibrant hum of how her heart pounds rapidly against her ribs. She’s still quite worked up from touching Lena just a moment ago. Her powers weakened and dampened, her sensitivity is altered and she feels  _more_.

Adjusted by her surroundings, she opens her eyes and sees Lena flushed so prettily, and—Kara feels,  _feels_ how Lena radiates a pleasant warmth underneath her.

Taking a shuddering breath, she draws down, cupping Lena by the nape of her neck and kisses her. She kisses her deep and slow, pressing herself against Lena without worrying about pressing too hard—feeling  _everything_ , and marvels at how Lena breathes her in hotly in her mouth.

“Feeling okay?” Lena asks, breathily, when Kara moves to kiss her on the jaw, and just under her jaw.

“Yes. Very okay,” Kara murmurs, not even bothering to hide the shake in her voice. Lena should know the effect she has on her. “More than.”

How Lena thought to do this for her—it’s so thoughtful and sweet, and just so Lena to come up with solutions to problems. While Kara wants to take the time to fully appreciate that, she finds that she can’t—she’s too caught up and held by the thought of doing other things to the woman. So she focuses on the one thing in her head: to make Lena feel good.

Detaching herself from the Lena without warning, she hears a small whine underneath her as she takes her shirt and bra off. “Clothes,” she exhales, and they both help each other out of their clothes, occasionally fumbling and chuckling at their eagerness to lose their layers.

And finally both free of clothes, bare skin on skin, Lena throws her head back, biting her lip to muffle a cry when Kara’s mouth begins to map across her breasts, circling at the sensitive tips, smearing bliss into her skin.

Kara hears the hitch of Lena’s breath when her lips trap a hardened nub, her tongue swirling around, sucking intently. Lena arches on the sheets, breathing up to the ceiling with her head tossed back against the pillow.

It’s been a while since Kara has found herself like this with Lena: both naked and panting on Lena’s sheets. Kara casts her gaze to her front, marvelling at the sharp profile of Lena’s jaw and the elongation of her neck when Lena twists her neck, as Kara licks and sucks at her breasts.

“ _Kara_ ,” Lena says, and it's in the way her voice cracks on the utterance of Kara’s name, something that’s becoming needy and desperate, the craving for something more, that causes something in Kara to snap.

Then Kara surges upwards, takes hold of Lena’s wrists, pinning her arms on either side of her head with a firm, secure hold. Kara latches her mouth back against Lena's, and the kiss becomes heated quickly. It’s a mess of heavy, shortened breaths as she starts moving against Lena, as Lena just pants, moaning into her mouth.

It’s no different from how Lena would moan after stretching a particularly sore muscle, no different than how she moans biting into good food after a long day. But the connotation of it will always have Kara's head spinning. Lena moans into her mouth and she feels it inside of her. As if she’s swallowed it whole and her body presses for more, blood racing hot, breath coming fast.

It’s too much and not enough. Like she's burning up from the inside.

She grinds on Lena, slow and heavy, completely aware and extremely sensitive to the sensation of Lena’s plump breasts and hardened nipples against her own, rubbing at each other and it feels—it feels exhilarating and invigorating and just overall fucking divine. The friction between them becomes firmer, the slow grind and rock of her hips with Lena’s becoming more deliberate as seconds passes.

“Kara,” Lena says, and Kara feels more than hears Lena groan helplessly underneath her, etched with a note of warning in Lena’s voice.

“Yeah,” Kara breathes, a strong arousal aching steadily, building between her legs. “Okay—okay, yeah.”

Rao _,_ she sounds just as breathless as Lena is.

“Gonna make you feel so good, Lena.”

Lena nods, a small whimper coming out of her mouth.

“Tell me, Lena,” Kara prompts, and places a hand behind Lena’s neck, pulling her in for another deep kiss. The kiss quickly turns into something filthily: a messy mash of lips and teeth and excess tongue, formless and lazy in their flow. This kiss feels far dirtier than she’s ever kissed Lena and a huge part of it comes from the heady rush she feels in her head, the uninhibited movements she can now freely make without worrying that she’ll break anything. “You okay?” she asks, exhaling roughly against Lena’s mouth, trailing a hand downwards to her chest, abdomen, then to her inner thighs slowly.

“Yeah,” Lena whispers hoarsely, her hips lifting up slightly. “Fuck—Kara.”

“Feels good?” Kara goads, taking her fingers to Lena’s outer folds languidly, strokes coming like feathery touches. She likes the way Lena gets impatient under her, loses her breath, clutches at her tighter.

“Kara—” Lena says, and the way her voice comes out so airy, out like the smallest and softest of gasps, Kara almost doesn’t hear it. They watch each other through heavy-lidded eyes when Kara runs two digits down Lena’s slit and then back up two times, and then she's rubbing tight, slow circles into Lena’s clit at such an antagonizing pace. “ _Yes,_ ” Lena hisses sharply, eyes closing shut as her nails claw deeper into skin, earning Kara a welcoming burning sensation in her senses.

And, Rao, it blows Kara away—her mind reels and her stomach pools, feeling Lena’s slick heat on her fingers. Lena’s so wet and dripping, and it’s the noise of Kara’s fingers, the obscene and lewd sounds of the thick wet friction as they pace circularly, that reminds Kara that she is the cause of all this.

“Lena,” she whispers lowly, jaw tensing when she thinks she’s probably just as wet as Lena is. Or she doesn’t actually need to think about it, she can  _feel_ it between her own thighs. “Talk to me,” she presses, sounding more like a plea than a demand. She just wants to hear Lena’s voice, make sure that this is as good for her as it is for Kara. “Tell me how you feel. Wanna hear you.”

“S’good. Kara,” Lena sighs, her hand taking a fistful of blonde hair as she pulls Kara closer to her, nosing at her cheek and pressing open-mouthed kisses at her jawline and neck messily.

Kara continues to work Lena up, stroking at her clit faster, the lewd, wet noises filling up the room as Lena whimpers brokenly and breathing hotly against her neck.

“Kara,” Lena musters out, voice slipping higher with each swipe of Kara’s fingers. Her arms wrap around Kara’s torso, body trembling. “Feel how wet you make me?” And Kara sucks in a breath, nodding. “I’ve—been thinking about you back here on my bed, touching me like this.”

“Yeah? Is that why you asked me to come up with you?”

“No,” Lena laughs, breathless, and a shaky moan tumbles out of her mouth when Kara presses down, rubs with added pressure on her clit. Kara smirks at it, bends down to nip and lick at her neck. “No, and you know that. Just—” a breathy moan, “you work me up. So—s’good.”

“Yeah?” Kara trails down Lena’s neck, all wet and so full of tongue as she breathes her in. “You sound so beautiful, Lena.” A stream of ragged breaths punctures at Lena's throat, which grows louder when Kara's tongue swipes at her pulse point, sucking on the skin. “Missed you like this, too. Underneath me, breathing heavily like this for me.”

“Kara—fuck. I’m, I’m so close.”

“Okay,” Kara breathes, lifts her head up and gets caught, transfixed.

It’s all at once dizzying and disorientating and wonderful, her pulse increases and her mind hazes—she’s never felt so horny and aroused just by simply watching Lena get worked up and on the verge of coming undone. Lena in the throes of orgasm is just absolutely breathtaking: the curve of her back, the heave of her breasts, her head tipped back, illustrating the pretty slender line of her throat, and how her mouth hangs open, breath coming fast.

Then Lena lets out a low, guttural moan, which ends up being stifled in Kara’s mouth when Kara latches and licks into Lena’s mouth as she keeps the focused pace of her fingers before she gradually slows down.

Lena looks absolutely debauched, her chest heaves up and down laboriously as she catches up on her breath, arms thrown above her head and face flushed, looking completely blissed out, fucked out.

Arousal stirring strongly between her legs at the view, even Kara needs a few seconds to get herself together. Honestly, she could probably drift to sleep in minutes if she closed her eyes right now even with the aching heat between her legs. She just wanted to make Lena feel good. They both had long weeks of working themselves off. It’s not something she expected tonight, to be here lying on her bed but here she is.

She lays down next to the Irish woman, watching the rise and fall of Lena’s chest as the perspiration cools her skin. Sweat. Kara dislikes sweat, but she thinks this definitely calls for an exception, all dependent on the reason that makes her sweat.

And then as the minute mark passes, Kara closes her eyes. Then she feels the mattress move, weight shifting on the bed.

Lena hovers above her, eyes dark, a hot heavy stare. “Tell me what you need,” she says, whispers, voice deep and rasp by Kara’s ear, before she starts ravaging Kara’s throat, licking her all up and nipping at her flushed skin.

Kara shivers, tips her chin up, allowing Lena easier access. Rao, there’s always something about Lena’s voice after fucking her that sends Kara a jolt of shiver in her spine, always sends her teetering dangerously to the edge. And she is  _not_ going to come just like that (she tells herself this yet again) because she’s not a fucking nerd who comes undone from just a voice (no matter how much Kara thinks how hot and sexy Lena’s voice may be).

“Just, just. Want your tongue. Won’t be long.”

But Lena doesn’t move just yet; she stays up as her hand glides up to the side of Kara’s neck, cupping the hinge of Kara’s jaw, thumb firmly against the bone. It feels like Kara’s skin is being set ablaze from each swipe of Lena’s tongue and each hot, wet presses of Lena’s open mouth at different spots on Kara’s neck, and occasionally across her collarbone.

She slips a hand to the back of Lena’s head, tugging her closer, fingernails scraping against her scalp. Now, Kara isn't oblivious to the way Lena spends her sweet time on her neck. Often times, she'd catch Lena looking at her neck when they talk, often times she'd catch Lena nosing her neck when they go in for a hug. Often times, she's like this. Right now, nosing at her throat and breathing her in. When she thinks about it, it makes sense, and it only becomes more apparent each time they get lost in each other. Perhaps Lena is a neck person, who likes necks overall. Or maybe she just has a thing for Kara's neck. Kara's not sure.

Lena drags her open mouth over the curve of Kara's jaw, licks a wet stripe down her throat, and nuzzles at a spot before Kara feels teeth sinking into her skin.

"Lena," Kara says, a broken sigh easily escaping out of her mouth. And at this point, Lena is littering marks all over her neck, and now she's licking and nipping at her collarbone, and. Yeah, she might really have a thing for Kara's neck. Kara squirms.

And then Lena travels down painstakingly slow, tracing a line with her lips from Kara’s neck, collarbone, chest, and then to her thighs. She nips at her hip bone, causing Kara to clench her jaw as she lets out a breathy sigh.

“Lena,” she breathes out, sounding clipped and restrained. Then, there is absolutely nothing that prepares her for the next following second: she lets out a whimper, bucking into the hot wet slide of Lena’s tongue when it laces onto her clit with a stern pressure, slow with its swipes, hot and slick in its contact. Kara tips her head back, tugs at Lena’s locks as Lena licks into her, shallow at first and gradually deeper and faster as the roll of Kara’s hips become more frantic.

She is not going to last. Shit, she’s really not even going to last for a minute at least, she thinks.

“Rao,” she sighs, or more like moans, jaw tightening. It feels so  _good_ to not worry about breaking anything when she twists around on the mattress, her body quavering as she lets herself loose and feel. She doesn’t hold back on the canting of her hips, the tugging at the sheets and Lena’s hair—Rao, it just feels great _._

As her mind skirts along the threshold of complete intoxication, she looks down, and, she isn’t prepared for the way the air in her lungs escape right out of her. The sight of Lena like this: lips rosy and wet, chin shiny, cheeks and ears coloured attractively, eyes dark and heavily lidded; it sends Kara barreling over the edge as she watches the woman between her thighs.

They lock into a gaze as Lena grips on her thighs, licking and swirling her tongue, drawing circles and sucking on her clit, all hot and heavy as short, sharp puffs come out of Kara’s mouth.

And then Kara’s mind goes into blank.

Her eyes slam tight, bright white dance behind her eyelids, body writhing and slanting as she chokes on a broken gasp under Lena’s name. She quivers, trembles, and seconds later weakly pushes Lena away. Lena coyly smirks up at her before she lowers her head and licks up the slick stickiness between Kara’s legs, causing Kara to groan, because. Rao, that’s fucking hot. Why does Lena have to be like this?

Unable to help herself, she reaches out to Lena, her hand grabbing the back of Lena’s head, and drags their mouth together for a deep, sloppy kiss. She exhales into Lena’s mouth as she tastes herself there, and brings her other hand up to Lena’s chin, using her whole thumb to wipe the wetness until they break apart, breathless.

Kara falls back onto the mattress and heaves a heavy sigh, still trying to recover.

Lena lays down next to her quietly, a wide space gap between them. Tens of seconds pass as the air starts to feel cool on Kara’s skin. Before Kara even has the time to think about it, she wraps an arm around Lena suddenly, takes her whole and holds her close. She’s a little too tired to think about if that was okay—and it probably wasn’t: it’s beyond physical affection, for Lena more than Kara. But as seconds tick by, the more Kara thinks it is okay because Lena doesn’t say anything. And if anything, Lena seems to encourage it when she tucks her head under Kara’s chin, body turning and arm wrapping around Kara’s waist.

They stay like this, holding each other in comfortable silence.

“I think I might’ve lost your hair tie,” Lena whispers.

Kara chuckles softly in response. She begins playing with her curly raven-black locks, stroking and caressing her hair softly.

Lena suddenly tilts her head so that it rests on Kara’s shoulder, presses her nose into the side of Kara’s neck. Nuzzles further onto Kara, as her fingers lightly graze Kara’s back in small patterns.

Kara feels herself stiffen for a hot second. But she recovers just as fast and relaxes into it shortly after.

They’ve done this before. Just a few times and counting. Don’t think too much about it.

It's just a little intoxicating, this level of comfort and affection. They hug and cuddle often, but Kara doesn't usually think much about it. She doesn’t usually think about it because when they hug, they aren’t usually naked and sweating after a good fuck. Rao. This is really becoming a frequent thing for them. She’s honestly not sure what to think of it. It would probably be unwise of her to let herself get used to this.

It’s incredibly intimate. Too tender. But Lena makes a soft, pleased sound—and quite frankly, for Kara, it does feel way too nice being tangled like this together. Lena makes another slight shift against her, nose (and lips?) on her neck, now seeming all comfortable and snug and content.

Kara thinks about parked, inert planes. Thinks about how stationery she and Lena are in their respective lanes. How safe it is to stay in their lanes, unmoving and still.

She decides to stop thinking, decides not to say anything about it.

“I'm gonna spend the night,” she says quietly, the words a mixture of confidence and question. She squeezes Lena a little as she speaks. Kara’s spent some nights here before. But it’s been a while.

“Okay,” Lena murmurs softly, turning off the lights and pulling the blankets up. She holds Kara, gets back into the same position, snuggling into her.

It feels good.

Kara relaxes into it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @[coffeeshib](https://twitter.com/coffeeshib)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so so late with this but hi i back to the thing where u type lots of words & hope they all make cents

 

Kara wakes up, but doesn’t open her eyes.

The longer she lays there simply, the more consciousness comes to her.

When she makes a movement, face tipping upward, Lena makes a small, little sound above her that Kara’s brain takes a moment to fully register, to piece together. When it does, when it all clicks, Kara almost wants to be embarrassed that she’s rubbing her face into Lena’s neck, but she’s still too sleep heavy—caught between sleep and wakefulness. She thinks it’ll come to her later, that she’ll blush and maybe utter a small apology from being too touchy, but, for now—it just feels nice. 

Really nice.

And Lena hasn’t complained. 

(Lena never does.

Kara starts to wonder just how many times she can get away with Lena. Or how Lena deals with her, really.)

She presses her nose into Lena’s neck, and if her lips accidentally meet skin, too—well. That’s just perfectly an innocent, honest slip-up. Lena’s bed just smells really nice. Lena smells nice. She always does, and Kara’s always weak for it. So, naturally—Kara takes her in, head tilting that she’s now nuzzling into the base of Lena’s throat. 

If her mouth makes a slight brush against Lena’s neck again, that’s accidental, too. Accidental when it happens for the second time. And the third. By the fourth, Kara wonders if Lena will ever tell her to stop. 

Why does Lena let her get away with so much things?

She’s completely aware that she’s skirting dangerously over into non-platonic touches, but she can’t help herself. Lena feels so warm, so nice and soft, and incredibly cuddly. And she smells lovely. Has Kara mentioned that already?

The spiked heart rate and the little, quiet sighs that Kara hears—Lena is awake, she knows that for sure. For how long though, she doesn’t know.

“Kara,” Lena says quietly, soft and airy.

“Lena,” Kara says just as quietly, but doesn’t make the move to stop. She snuggles further into Lena.

“Kara,” Lena says her name again as if to start a protest. It easily falls short though, when the wrapped arm around Kara’s torso tightens, pulling Kara closer. It’s all the encouragement Kara needs. “You’re aware of what you’re doing, right?”

Kara mumbles something incoherent, her lips moving against skin as it slowly travels down the column of Lena’s neck to her collarbone. Her tongue makes swipes along the way. That’s accidental.

“Okay—” Lena breathes, voice tightly clipped and finally moves away, groaning as she faces up the ceiling. Kara watches from the side, sees only Lena’s side profile, cheeks red-rosy. “I have to get up early. And I'm incredibly horny. Kara.”

“Oh.” A beat of silence, and Kara considers it seriously. “...Well, I can do you quick—”

“Oh,  _god_ —Kara,” Lena stops her right there quick and a chuckle fills the air, the sound so husky it reverberates through Kara's chest. “Very tempting. But I really have to get up right now.”

Watching Lena silently, Kara thinks about how she’d be pretty flabbergasted if past-Kara heard her own words right now. Flabbergasted at present Kara’s situation. At the current sight of her best friend laying right next to her in bed, gaze intentionally averted to the ceiling while she’s naked and horny, face flushed because of Kara.

Even she surprises herself. Lena’s just so…

Kara grins. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Lena mutters audibly enough, turns her head to look at Kara. “You greet everyone like this in the morning?”

Does she? What a silly question to ask. Or,  _oh —_ it’s a joke. Yeah, must be a joke. Kara isn’t sleeping with anyone else. Doesn’t. So obviously, the answer is, 

“Just you.” 

It’s quiet. Did Kara say something wrong? She fiddles with the duvet.

“Right,” Lena says belatedly. She swings her legs over the edge of the bed, sits up. “I’m going to use the shower. There’s another shower room, but you already know that and where it’s located. Feel free to use it?”

“I will. Thanks.”

-

Truthfully, Kara hadn’t expected to wound up in Lena’s bed again the next morning after meeting up with her in the park yesterday. 

Really.

It seems Lena’s intent yesterday was to just give her the key to her penthouse. That’s all.

(Kara’s heart still swells at that - being put into the security system and being given the key. Lena trusts her so much.

Wow.)

She sighs softly, dries herself with the towel as she grabs the toothbrush she owns, that sits in Lena’s bathroom every day casually like it waits to be used again by her. Rao. When it’s put that way in Kara’s head, it sounds. 

Strange. But not in a bad way. 

Just… strange. Now that she thinks about it, there are quite a lot of items around here that she’s absentmindedly left, or have placed in the penthouse. Some of her clothes are placed in Lena’s drawers. She has her favourite mug here, and some hair ties, extra pair of glasses, perfumes, and other personal belongings… are here, too, situated somewhere.

That’s fine. It’s not uncommon to have your things in your friend’s home. She has Nia’s extra laptop charger somewhere in her apartment. Some of Winn’s video games and old cds. Stored liquor for Alex…

Well - it’s not the same, the number and items differ, but the point is, it’s. It’s —

 _It’s not uncommon_ , she drills in her head.

Sometimes Kara thinks she’s clouding Lena’s space too much. It’s a valid thing to think about - to consider, because everyone needs their own space, and to keep their structure and system into place.

Lena never asks her to leave, never kicks her out. It’s always Kara who ends up leaving on her own, tinged with the feeling like she’s invaded Lena and her space for too long. No, Lena isn’t like that—she likes skinship after sex, and enjoys the feeling of just lying and cuddling there together as much as Kara herself does. She never seems to mind Kara’s personal belongings being left here, either.

Kara shakes her head. What does she get from thinking about this?

When she finally takes a good look at herself in the mirror, that’s when it hits her. 

She watches in horror and tips her chin up, sees that her neck is literally littered with hickeys, and down her shoulders there are marks. There’s not just one, or two on her neck. It’s multiple—red and purple marks run down the column of her neck, and one on her collarbone. 

What the heck? Since when —

Oh.  _Oh_ , right. Last night. The windows have been closed all night, not allowing any sunlight to come in. She still has her powers, though.

She flushes hard.

Refreshed and fully dressed, she walks out to see Lena adjusting her collar next to the kitchen counter. On top of the table is her huge, expensive fancy watch set flat.

Lena gasps at the sight of her, and Kara can easily say that it’s the most fakest, over exaggerated gasp she’s heard in her life. 

“Kara Danvers has hickeys. How scandalous.”

“Lena.” Kara blushes, settles onto the stool. That’s it? That’s all Lena has to say after she shamelessly, and unabashedly ravaged her neck like how not-normal-best-friends-do last night?

“Wonder where you got them. Wow.”

Kara’s hand flies up to rub her neck while Lena stares at the marks—quiet and rueful, and something else Kara doesn’t know how to name.

“At a store. They were on sale.”

Lena blinks then, and a low chuckle erupts from her throat. Her eyes form into crescents, displaying full fondness before she turns away reaching for her hair tie.

“It’ll go away, right?” Kara frowns, but she’s aware it probably looks more like a pout.

It should go away. Go away as in go-away-before-she-gets-to-work. Go away as in minutes away outside Lena’s penthouse. Kara tries not to act like a floundering adolescent at this. She’s just never had to deal with being marked like this before. She’s not used to it. It’s different - it’s not like the marks and bruises she gets from fighting. She knows that everything fades in due time, her body is invincible. 

But just imagining Nia’s face, or Winn’s, the moment they see it—the smug, teasing grin that’ll be plastered etched in their faces. Kara would really rather not deal. 

Lena must take some pity on her, because after a moment, she says, “Kara, it’ll fade properly the minute you step out of this building.”

Proper sunlight exposure, and all. It’s already fading.

“And if it doesn’t?”

“Then it doesn’t, darling.” Lena’s lips curl into a casual smirk, and—wow, okay. Kara flushes and sways a little at her seat, completely taken off-guard by the endearment term and Lena’s pretty face for a moment, and. Well. It’s cool, Kara’s always mushy for Lena.

And when Lena just shrugs—so easily like it doesn’t concern her—Kara’s brought back to the main topic. Very important topic. Lena’s no longer paying attention to her, she’s tying her hair up into a ponytail, lost in her own world like she has no business with her  _one_ bit, and it makes Kara frown (pout) further.

Lena has all the business to do with it.

“Great,” Kara says drily, though she’s feeling incredibly flustered. She blinks away to focus on something else and helps herself to the plate of omelette Lena’s cooked. “Wonderful. Thank you for that.”

“You’re so cute.” 

Kara bites at the inside of her cheek. She watches Lena silently, sees her slipping her expensive, fancy watch on gracefully, hand up in the air. Her fingers never cease to mesmerize Kara—they’re so long and thin, and also so pretty.

Lena makes final adjustments to her collar before grabbing her blazer. It’s truly a sight, Kara thinks, to witness Lena Luthor just simply getting ready in the morning before getting back to running her multi-billion corporation and making all-around changes one at a time. 

Her best friend is pretty awesome.

Who looks really good, by the way. Really, really good—not that Lena doesn’t always—she  _always_ does, and Kara believes that it’s honestly unnecessarily to look like that all the time.

Lena looks sinfully gorgeous in her suit—navy blue and sleek, with cufflinks, a black dress shirt underneath, and hair tied into a perfect ponytail with no awkward strands sticking out, and. No tie over the shirt, at least, but the top two buttons of the shirt are suggestively undone. The whole look—is that even allowed? Kara’s really wondering, thinking. Is it? 

Damn, does her best friend look edible right now. 

High heels planted on the floor, Lena cocks her head to the side, and eyes at Kara.

“What?”

“What?” Kara says back.

“You’re staring.”

“Oh,” Kara utters lamely, but feels extremely proud when she doesn’t fumble around when she snaps out of her self-induced daze then. “Well,” she raises her hand, almost pokes her eye with her finger when she finds that there’s no glasses to fix over her nose—where are her glasses? 

“You left your glasses on the nightstand next to my bed.” Lena laughs, and there it is. The head tilt. It never fails.

It adds further heat into Kara’s cheeks, and she shyly chuckles, running a hand through her hair.

“Oh, right.” She settles her gaze back to Lena. It should be said. So, she says: “You’re pretty distracting. You look lovely.”

There is a pause, a pause during which Lena looks a little surprised at the sudden compliment.

Kara’s not lying, and she’s pretty sure Lena knows that.

“Thank you,” Lena says, a hand hiding away into a pocket. “You look just as lovely.” Kara lets out an undignified huff of laughter. It doesn’t really feel like it, and when Lena just smiles, Kara finds herself smiling back—just simply ridiculously endeared by the mere sight. “I have a meeting real soon, so I need to get going. Do you want to come with me? I can drop you off at CatCo.”

“No, it’s okay,” she shakes her head, gets on her feet and walks towards Lena, passing her the phone she left on the countertop. “I still have some time left before I need to head out. And I  _fly_ , Lena.”

“Ah, of course. Right _,”_ Lena’s brow quirks up and she takes the phone from Kara’s hand. “My deepest apologies. You fly on a bus.” 

Kara’s about to open her mouth to sulk over the sarcastic comment until Lena’s eyes cast down to her neck again. 

She flushes, but pays no heed to it. She brings her arms around Lena, engulfing her in a hug.

“See you sometime soon. Hopefully not after two weeks this time.”

Lena hums, lets out a quiet sigh. She breaks away from Kara, sends her an easy smile. And Kara, unable to help herself, leans in and kisses Lena on the cheek.

At least, that’s the idea. Until she misses, because Lena makes a small movement as she’s pulling back, and Kara ends up kissing her right on the corner of her mouth.

“Gosh, I—sorry,” Kara stammers, pulling away quickly.

That’s the second time that’s happened. 

Rao. It’s a little absurd, honestly.  _Absolutely_ absurd. Kara still freaks out over these little things. She wants to make a joke  _\- gotta be careful, what if this becomes a habit? -_ but quickly decides against it.

“It’s okay, don’t be. I’m the one who accidentally moved,” Lena says. A beat later, she tilts her head to the side, mouth slightly curling and expels a soft sigh. “This sounds familiar.”

Kara breathes out sheepishly. The red forming in Lena’s cheeks is enough to alleviate herself from the embarrassment, at least.

“Yeah. So, you should get going.” She laughs quietly, wets her lips. Takes a step back.

“Bye, Kara,” Lena nods, and a smile tugs the corners of her lips upwards. “Safe bus travels.”

 

* * *

 

It turns out that the marks did disappear few minutes outside. Not that Kara was  _that_ worried. 

No. Really.

So once the doors of the cubicle opens, she steps out and—in an instant, sees Nia waving at her from her desk, grinning widely - mood seeming pretty good in the early morning.

“Hey,” Kara greets, handing the younger woman an iced caffe mocha, which Nia accepts gratefully, thanking her with an appreciative smile. “You’re awfully in a good mood. Did something happen?”

“Naw,” Nia grins with a shake of her head, and takes sips of her venti-sized cup before plopping back onto her wheely chair. “Nothing in particular. Hey, this is really nice. I’m buying next time.”

“Right,” Kara drawls, eyebrows furrowing. When she sees that Nia is still smiling oddly, weirdly, and uncharacteristically for far too long at her computer screen, she nudges her by the shoulder. “Liar. Come on, tell me.”

“It’s really nothing big, Kara.”

“But it sounds like something?”

It’s not that Kara’s a nosy person. It’s just, the last time she saw Nia smiling like this was when Nia won a seven-day free pizza deal. Naturally, Kara’s curious. And nosy. Cool things like that need to be celebrated.

Nia spins her chair, faces Kara properly and shrugs with an unsure grin. “Okay, well. Come here, listen close.” And Kara does—although cautiously, and leans in when Nia looks around conspiratorially, as if what she’s about to say isn’t for anyone else to know.

Anticipation builds in Kara’s gut. So secretive, perhaps she won a one year token deal this time. Or did Nia snag some, one-in-a-lifetime, way too good sale on something?

“Brainy finally called our ‘outings’ a date. A date  _date_. He gets it now.”

Kara gasps loudly. So, nothing to do with food. But  _wow_.

What. A. Step. Forward!

Nia laughs, bright and wide, nodding her head with  _I know’s!_

Kara grabs the nearest pen, and tips the end of the pen near below Nia’s chin as if it were a mic. “How do you feel, Nia Nal? Citizens of National City! Querl Dox and Nia Nal are both - emphasis on  _both -_ finally aware that they have, in fact, been  _dating_ for the past months! ”

“Stop it,” Nia says, but laughs harder when Kara keeps saying  _how do you feel? How do you feel!_ like one of those pesky, annoying reporters that shoves mics into people’s faces incessantly.

(Not like Kara and Nia. Kara and Nia are respectful, graceful reporters, of course.)

“You’re seriously one to talk,” Nia says, waving Kara off with her hand. Kara decides to gracefully ignore her comment, like the graceful and elegant reporter she is. “Also, not to sound like a creep, but you smell different—like… how do I say it?” She wrinkles her nose. “Something familiar and expensive.”

Kara opens her mouth, squints. Tilts her head, and registers the whiff of that shampoo she’d used this morning. “Oh. I was at Lena’s this morning.” 

“...And last night, I’m assuming.”

No point in hiding or dodging it. So Kara just shrugs with a shy smile.

The younger pretends to puke distastefully. 

Oh, mean. Kara rolls her eyes, flicks Nia on the forehead. Nia stumbles back with a hiss.

“No dirty thoughts.”

“What thoughts? I’m just imagining you and Lena brushing and braiding each others hair. Tiring experience, I’m sure it was, which was why you stayed in. How cute and wholesome.” Nia pauses. “Unless?” she snorts, batting her eyelashes infuriatingly slow that makes Kara’s skin crawl.

Kara flicks her on the forehead again.

“Ow—okay!” Nia huffs, rubbing on the two red spots forming on her forehead. “Geez. That wasn’t even dirty. Unless you guys are into some kinky shit I don’t know abou—woah, okay I’ll stop—step away from the forehead!”

Unimpressed, Kara leans back on the desk and shoves a hand in her pocket. How she raised a young wolf—Kara may never know.

“So,” Nia says conversationally, features creasing into a look. “How are you and Lena these days? Anything new?”

Kara scrunches her face, adjusts her glasses. “You sound like Alex… same old. Sometimes we see each other, sometimes we don’t.” 

A lull comes into the conversation. There’s a rueful look on Nia’s face—ongoing and there’s something deep and contemplative about it that Kara decides to bite in.

“What are you thinking about?” 

She grabs a blue highlighter from Nia’s pen stand, twirls it around her fingers as she watches the young woman take loud sips through her straw. Kara still has a few minutes before she needs to clock in and get back to her desk and actually start doing work.

“I don’t know—I just. You’re like, a hopeless romantic, Kara,” Nia explains, then pauses—brows furrowing as she seems to carefully consider her next words. “In the sense that you’re really soft towards romance, and romantic displays. You’re in love with love. And you like to spread it around.” Nia crosses her arms on her desk, nudges Kara on her side. “And with this thing you have with Lena, it just dawned on me that you’re kind of the type to fall easily, Kara.”

Wait. What?

Nia’s never seen her romantically involved with someone, or has seen her crushing on anyone. So how would Nia know that?

“Or at least—you seem to be,” Nia quickly adds.

But… a hopeless romantic. Her? Oddly enough, an uncomfortable feeling sinks into Kara’s chest, and thinking about it—Kara can’t really say it with her whole chest that she isn’t. Because she does think about those things. 

But not actively. 

“This again?” she says without malice, and sighs softly with a smile. “I can’t say I fully disagree on that.”

Nia smirks lightly, shrugs a shoulder. “I hear a  _but_ incoming.”

“But you’re speaking in a hypothetical manner. Like something will happen between Lena and I.”

“Well, yeah,” Nia says, easily admitting it. Her lips thin as she watches Kara closely. “But I seem to always be proven wrong whenever the thought rises up, because nothing ever seems to happen. And I finally realised why: because you never go for it. Neither does Lena.”

Kara grips on the edges of Nia’s desk.

Go for it.

She thinks back to what she and Lena talked about yesterday over by the bridge late at night. They’ve discussed this already. Lena understands Kara. Vice-versa. Why would they go for it? Lena doesn’t chase those ideals for herself—she isn’t looking for anything like that. Kara knows this well, gets it. They can’t and don’t, for lots of valid reasons. 

Nia doesn’t get it.

 _And it’s not that deep_ , Kara tells herself, when it comes to this  _thing_ she has with Lena. It doesn’t have to be. It’s not supposed to be. This isn’t a romance, comedic or otherwise. In the beginning, this all stemmed from just  _simply wanting to,_ because, well—what is so wrong with two horny women (both with stressful lives) hanging out together in such ways, who happens to find each other incredibly attractive, and who just happens to be best friends, too?

Kara feels herself flush deeply just thinking about it. 

It all boils down to this: they’re horny, and things just happen from time to time. Over and over and over again, and it never means anything. Which is how it’s supposed to be, and how Lena prefers it. Kara, too... 

It works well for the both of them. There’s no real  _real_ feelings here, despite how close they already are before all this.

But something else catches Kara’s attention.

“What you said about Lena… what were you implying?”

Nia simply shrugs. “What makes you think that just because you feel confident with yourself, that you’re sure you can keep up at this with no problem, that Lena would be the same on her end? We all know how you’re pretty much Lena’s softest spot.”

Kara sees the implication, loud and clear.

“That wouldn’t happen.”

She strongly believes this. Because she’s pretty sure that if Lena feels anything for her, she’d know or have known. She would know if Lena thought of her as more of a friend. She’s seen Lena with James. Sure, that’s her only basis for knowing, but it’s  _something,_ and she’d still be able to tell with or without one or a few.

Either way, she shakes her head, bites her bottom lip. “Or… or she’d tell me. We don’t keep anything from each other.” At least, not anymore, but Kara doesn’t mention that. 

“You really think so?” 

Nia’s being pretty persistent with this, and it makes Kara feel uneasy more than it should. Standing up straighter, she realises that she’s nursing a tension in her shoulders. Letting out a sigh, she untenses and pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Nia—” She stops herself short when her phone buzzes in her pocket. “Hold on. It’s Alex—might be work-related.”

Nia utters a  _sure_ with a slow nod before getting back to her computer.

Kara listens, and listens to Alex speaking over the phone. When the line ends, Nia looks up at her, wondering.

“Oh, I need to make a trip to the DEO after work for a case,” Kara tells her, slipping her phone back into her pocket. 

“They sure always need your help.”

“Yeah,” Kara scratches at her eyebrow, “can’t ignore it. Especially when they have to make the call and ask. Cases being so large, or difficult enough that they’d resort to seeking assistance from me. Plus, it’s Alex who always asks, so.”

“Oh, yeah,” Nia says. “I get it.”

“Yeah,” Kara sighs. Previous conversation (thankfully) interrupted and swept away, she puts the blue highlighter back in Nia’s pen stand. “Do you have something on after work? Alex did say that she could use some extra help from you, but it’s okay if you can’t come. I can handle it alone.”

“Oh, no,” Nia says, shakes her head and grins. “Sure, I’ll come with.”

 

* * *

 

The sun has long set and it’s already just past eight pm, the cityscape blazing bright neon lights onto the dark sky. The roads and traffic slowly clear away from rush hour.

She hovers over by the clouds, her red cape fluttering freely from the whirls of winds, and waits and waits for Alex’s voice.

“Alex?” Kara tests over the comms, not able to wait any longer. “You doing good there?” No reply. “Alex.”

“ _Yes, hey, it’s Nia_ —” comes a breathy reply, and sounds of something grating on concrete ground, “ _sorry. Alex lost her comms. And I was just thinking of a new ending battle line. It’s important to end things with style—or a line, you know?_ ” More shuffling is heard over the line.

“Nia,” Kara chuckles. She’s got to admit, Nia’s pretty creative and awesome with her battle lines. It reminds her of her early days, and she realises that she doesn’t think of it as much anymore. Now it’s making Kara, Supergirl, reevaluate her life choices.

“ _Okay, so we’ve successfully captured the accomplice—how’s your end, the other one?_ ”

Kara touches down quietly on the balcony of the DEO. “Already been handed over to the DEO. I was going to ask if you needed help, or picking up? Are you and Alex okay?”

“ _Oh, yeah,_ ” Nia says, “ _and no thanks to the fly-express. Also yeah, we’re good here—just dealing with the aftermath. Alex said great job and thanks for helping out. The newbie DEO agents have been a pain in her butt. We really, and I quote from Alex Danvers herself, ‘saved her ass’._ ”

“Of course, it’s all fine,” Kara laughs. Walking towards the command centre, she already spots Winn in the corner, munching on some protein bar. “Want me to wait for you guys here?”

“ _Nah, don’t wait out, you can go home. We’ve got everything else handled._ ”

“Wow, look at you all commanding and more confident.”

“ _Learned from the best._ ” 

She hears the grin in Nia’s voice. Kara smiles. “Okay. Good night, then. Tell Alex I said goodnight too, and I love her.”

“ _Gotcha._ ”

Footsteps draw near, and an arm wraps around Kara’s shoulder, with spots of coffee stains on its sleeve cuffs. 

“Well if it isn’t my best bud.”

“Winn,” she grins, wrapping an arm back and Winn fake-hurts, murmuring  _muscles, muscles!_ “Look at you working overtime.”

“Ugh, I know.” Winn heavily sighs, shaking his head and ruffles his hair messily. “And I don’t even get paid enough for this. Look at me! I’m a mess. Caffeine no longer does it for me. I should take a break from it, reset my caffeine tolerance and all.” 

Kara crosses her arms over her chest, squints at Winn. “Don’t think I don’t know about the gist of your payroll. Yes you do.”

Her friend jutts his bottom lip out. “Okay, yes I do. But still.” He breaks away from Kara and settles down on his chair with his weight, the drooping of his posture easily noticeable. “I could really use a breather and a drink, honestly. In fact I think we both could, us always constantly overworking and all. Dead social life.”

“Yeah?” Kara hums. It  _has_ been a while. “That sounds good, actually. Let’s do it. Sometime soon?”

“Yeah!” Winn clicks his fingers, and his smile widens, hand flailing in the air. “Get everyone, too. I miss everyone and Alex still owes me drinks!”

Laughing, Kara runs a hand through her hair. “Yeah, sure. You know, Nia’s been wanting to check out the alien dive bar since she hasn’t been. It’s a good time.”

“Great! I’ll text everyone. These past few months have been dull for me and boredom’s starting to strangle me whole.” Winn takes the last bite of his protein bar before looking at Kara. “How’s it been on your end?”

Lena comes to mind instantly. Kara welcomes it although she wouldn't admit it out loud. At least, not to Winn.

“Not as uneventful and dull as yours, that’s for sure.” 

“Sounds suspicious.”

Winn narrows his eyes then, suddenly watchful like an eager hound searching for food (information). Aw. It reminds her of a few reporters - her work colleagues in CatCo. Ravenous, ferocious. But Winn's a baby compared to them.

Kara chuckles, shakes her head. She turns to Winn’s computer screen, sees the time. It’s already late. 

“Goodnight, Winn.”

“Wait, what! There’s something you’re not telling me,” Winn huffs, standing abruptly with his palm up in the air. “We tell each other a lot of things! What is it? And why are you being evasive?”

“It’s late and I could use some sleep, Winn,” Kara says, starting to walk away. She raises two fingers up to her eyebrow in salutation, “Goodnight.”

She flies away before Winn starts to whine and gets the chance to unleash Puppy Sulk #3.

(Not that it would’ve worked if she’d stayed.)

 

* * *

 

There are many things that Kara could be doing right now: one, starting ahead on her current article research that’s due in a week, earning her a peace of mind. Two, coming over to Alex’s apartment to have dinner and do some catching up with her girlfriend, Kelly, and then watch them inevitably get all mushy and make-out in the kitchen while they think she’s not looking, and. Three, starting a new show, one Winn had recommended (“It’s a must-see, Kara, you don’t understand how good it is. It’s spacey and there’s a lot of hot people! Expecting you to have caught up to the latest by this weekend, I need someone to talk about it with!”)

Instead:

She’s currently munching on a granola bar in Lena’s kitchen on a Saturday afternoon, indulging herself in some buzzfeed quiz Nia just sent earlier. Lena walks into the living room then, looking cozy and fresh after a shower and changing out of her work clothes.

Wordlessly, her best friend strolls into the kitchen, opening the cupboard and grabbing herself a chamomile tea bag, sleeves rolled up. The kettle is turned on and Lena grabs a milk carton from the fridge.

Kara momentarily forgets to chew. 

Because, wow _._ It’s almost unfair how Lena looks right now—she’s wearing Kara’s dark green knitted sweater and it’s a few sizes larger than her frame, and her hair is down, slightly curly in its natural state, and.

“That picture of a cookie on your phone,” Lena says, running a hand through her hair as she leans over the kitchen counter, just right opposite of Kara. She looks so soft, and so pretty and huggable, that Kara has the sudden urge to reach up over the counter and pull her in. 

But Kara stays planted on her stool and doesn’t decide to reach over the countertop and hug her. Kara frowns. Lena tilts her head, a charming look of amusement playing in her face. 

It only makes Kara frown further.

“Do I want to know what you’re up to?” Lena says.

Well, there is indeed a picture of a cookie on her phone.

“What kind of cookie are you?” she says simply.

“Cookie—what?” Lena arches an eyebrow up. Kara grins. 

“It’s a buzzfeed quiz,” Kara explains, bringing her legs up and crossing it above the stool. She settles her elbows on the counter, faces Lena fully. “Nia sent it to me to take, and I got double chocolate cookie. I’m a double chocolate cookie, Lena. So cool.” Kara isn’t sure how these quizzes factor things in, and what this even means, but she asks anyway. “Do you think it’s accurate? That I’m a double chocolate cookie.”

Inching closer towards Kara, Lena’s mouth tilts into an unsure smile. “I can’t say. Those quizzes don’t make sense most of the time, darling.”

Kara bites her lip, flushes at the endearment term. She always does. Can’t help it. “You’ve taken some?”

Lena shrugs. 

“Wow. Billionaire genius scientist, businesswoman and philanthropist Lena Luthor takes online buzzfeed quizzes. Amazing. Groundbreaking news. The world is shaking.”

“Oh, stop with the titles.” Lena’s face twists into a grimace and separates from the counter, turning her back to Kara, fixing herself the tea that’s waiting for her. 

“That was me not being generous. I could add five more there.” Kara takes her phone back in her hand, fiddles with it.

Lena rolls her eyes at that. “Well, I’ve only taken just a few. I blame Nia and Winn for that.”

That’s unsurprising. It makes Kara smile, seeing how she isn’t the only one that gets targeted with these things by their friends. 

“They’re fun, though.”

“Time-consuming,” Lena quips, chucking the tea bag into the bin. She leans against the kitchen sink, hands on her mug (a $15 reindeer mug that Kara bought for her a month ago, and it’s heat-sensitive, and the nose goes red when it’s hot, and Lena laughed when she saw it, and then she bought a $1,800 gucci cardigan for Kara a week after, because here's a lovely (unnecessarily  _expensive)_ gift back—)

Anyway.

“ _Time-consuming fun_ , at least,” Kara laughs, and watches Lena simply sipping her tea across the kitchen, taking in how domestic this looks. 

There’s nothing special going on here. They are just in their usual spots: Lena there and Kara here - and it feels - it feels nice.

There is nothing new, or unusual about it, but when Kara wraps her head around it, there’s been more of it. Much more, just her and Lena, being here and there - together. It’s not a shock, or some kind of revelation.

It’s just interesting.

But it’s odd. Somehow, it feels like there’s something different about it. She just can’t pinpoint what, exactly.

“Hey. A granola bar for your thoughts?” 

Kara’s snapped out of her daze, looks to her left. Lena’s made her way next to the stool beside her, with her mug in her hand. Her cheek is cradled by her palm, eyes watching Kara curiously.

“There isn't much,” Kara says honestly, turning to face Lena in her seat. The heat-sensitive mug - its nose is half-red, indicating that Lena’s already drank half of her tea. Kara smiles at it. “I like being here a lot. It’s just really nice.” 

“What’s nice? You eating all my granola bars and snapping and sending pictures of me to our friends, all captioned with ‘pretty sweater thief on the loose’?” Lena rolls her eyes, her knee bumping with Kara’s playfully. 

“Ha,” Kara grins, chuckles. She lets her knee press against Lena's. “You saw that?”

“Double chocolate cookie.” Lena scoffs lightly, a small smile hiding behind her mug when she lifts it over her lips. “You’re not that sneaky.”

-

It’s not until later, late at night when Lena asks Kara if she wants to stay. 

Lena always asks. As if she never expects Kara to stay, or want to be here any longer. It’s quite jarring to see every time. But naturally, obviously, Kara says,  _yeah, I’d like to stay_.

Kara lays down on the mattress beside Lena quietly, feeling wide awake. 

She had ended up working on her article and made decent progress earlier, and then spent a hefty amount of time looking at sugar gliders. Online. She didn't know about their existence until Lena offhandedly mentioned about it while she worked, that her assistant Jess, had one.

Lena’s sitting upright on the bed, with her laptop in front, going through emails and more emails. She types and types, and from time to time, scrutinizes her screen closely - most likely proof-reading her sentences.

It’s late.

And Kara disapproves, but she stays in her spot with her arm wrapped around the pillow her head’s laying on. She watches absentmindedly, occasionally closing her eyes. Sometime soon enough Lena closes her laptop, turning to face Kara with a gap between them.

“Hi,” Kara says.

“Hi back,” Lena says, cocks an eyebrow. “Were you watching me the whole time? Creep.”

Kara wriggles closer towards Lena. “Not a creep. Just distracted.”

“Distracted? By what?”

Seconds continue to pass silently as Kara realizes she hasn’t answered. Even then, she just stays quiet.

Lena makes a slight shift closer to Kara, near enough to be close in proximity. “What, would you like a bedtime story?” 

There’s a teasing smirk playing on her lips, one that Kara wants to kiss away right then, and it makes Kara groan internally.

“No. I would like for you to sleep, though,” Kara says. “If I weren’t here, you’d still be on that laptop for another two hours. Probably.”

Lena closes her eyes for a moment before she moves a hand close to her chest, curling into herself a little. She’s cold, Kara figures. Even with the large duvet over them, Kara knows Lena’s feeling more cold than warm.

“Probably,” Lena echoes, looking at the empty little space between them. “You’re simultaneously a menace and a wonderful thing to my work productivity.”

She smiles at Kara, and it’s small but it’s so full of warmth - Kara has to grin and look away, face blushing a little. 

Rao - Kara wants to kiss her.

But she doesn’t. Instead, she just keeps her distance, playing with the material of the mattress idly. 

Nia’s words play through her head. It’s been days, since their conversation. It comes and goes - fleetingly, the thoughts every now and then. Like right now. She’s thinking about it, and wonders why it has stuck since. 

When Lena wrings her hands together with a slight shiver, Kara eventually gives in and closes the gap between them. Slowly, she wraps an arm around Lena, pulling the woman close against her body, and settles her chin just above Lena’s head. Immediately, Lena settles and melts into their new position all easily too well, as if they’ve done this a thousand times. 

Their legs tangle together and Kara slides her hand to the nape of Lena’s neck, then to the back of her head, lightly scratching at her scalp. She feels, more than hears the quiet sigh from Lena, the breath hitting her neck.

Lena. 

Lovely, kind, smart, beautiful Lena… Kara imagines it, for a moment, being with her. They have this sort of pull with each other - chemistry, that’s indisputable. Would they work out together? It’s… odd to be thinking about this - it's uncharted territory. They’ve talked about dating and relationships. They’ve expressed their thoughts and concerns, how they find it difficult to picture themselves in one. Fearing what comes along with a serious relationship, protecting themselves from all of its potential hurt. 

It just hasn’t crossed Kara’s mind - about actually being  _with_ Lena, despite everything. Oh, Rao - now she finds herself fantasizing it.

There’s a strange gnawing feeling in her gut, once Kara gets her head around it. She could see it. Being with Lena is easy. Comfortable. Natural. Like - like right now, almost like this —

No. She freezes the thought, stops herself right there.

But she could see it clearly. But neither of them are open to starting anything up. It’s just like what Nia said before. They never go for these things, don’t even make attempts at it. 

Though despite how much Lena’s expressed disinterest in being in a relationship, Kara can’t help but wonder if Lena has thought about it. Being with her. Would the thought of being with Kara raise discomfort and uneasiness in her? Or would she find that she wouldn’t mind - could see something nice in it. 

It’s a little dangerous, entertaining these notions. It doesn’t help the little tightening feeling in Kara’s chest when she thinks if Lena would find being with her as scary, or unpleasant, or too weird. 

She  _is_ just her best friend after all. And - and it’s. Yeah. It’s simple. Just that. Why would it be important to know?

So she quickly dismisses the idea as she knows Lena wouldn’t want her like that.

Not that Kara wants Lena like that either.

Obviously.

Kara breathes unsteadily.

When Lena shifts against her a bit, Kara is brought away from her thoughts.

“What are you thinking about?” Lena asks quietly, and Kara feels a cold nose burying itself in her neck. The red lamps are on, dimmed down and it leaves the room dark enough.

Kara wets her lips. “Um. The conversation we had a week ago. At the bridge.” And about what Nia mentioned earlier to her, but she doesn’t mention it.

There’s a silent pause in the air for a few seconds. 

“Yeah?” Lena says, prompts gently for further explanation.

“We’ve already gone through this, I know… but I’m just a little curious.” Their position is too comfortable to break out of, so Kara settles on playing with Lena’s hair, staring at an uninteresting object.

She’s dismissed the idea, but she really,  _really_ wants to ask if Lena has thought about her and Kara together. If she’d think they’d work out, or they’d be great together considering how they are with one another, or - or. 

She dismisses the idea again, burns it away.

An uncomfortable feeling lurches in her chest. She isn’t sure she wants to know, now. It disrupts her thought process - Lena’s still waiting for her so patiently, and expectantly, so she asks instead, or more like blurt out: 

“Do you still feel the same?”

It’s a ridiculous question, Kara knows. It hasn’t been longer than a week—of course Lena would feel the same - about not wanting anything serious, or anything beyond sex. She doesn’t want a relationship - she avoids them as much as Kara does. Matters like these don’t change easily.

“Yes,” Lena says slowly, confusion etched in her voice and, well. Understandable. Kara feels her face heat from the silly question. Seconds pass until Kara receives a little nudge. “Is that all? I sense that there’s a little more to it than that. What is it?” She speaks so softly, inquisitive, touched with concern and - Kara really regrets starting this up.

“Do you think it could change sometime... in the future?”

Stubbornly, Kara keeps herself steeled away from the main question she wants to actually ask. She can imagine Nia yelling at her, somewhere far away in her head. There’s nothing wrong with just wanting to know.

The air feels a little tense, but maybe that’s just Kara. Her main question threatens to spill from her mouth each passing second. Lena remains calm and cool against her, and it does nothing to ease her little inner turmoil.

Until Lena licks her neck.

Kara freezes. 

“Did—did you just lick me?” She makes an attempt to move away, to look at Lena in the eye, but Lena is insistent on keeping her face buried in the crook of Kara’s neck, her arm wrapped tightly around Kara’s torso.

“Kara,” Lena says, soft laughter bubbling in her throat and Kara’s - Kara’s so confused, “it’s just - you’re nursing these tensions in your muscles. Why? Relax.”

With that voiced out - Kara realizes that she is, and she loosens her shoulders, regaining composure.

“Oh.” Still. “I can’t believe you just licked me.”

“I like your neck,” Lena murmurs, her nose in the junction of Kara’s shoulder and neck, lips grazing the skin there. “You’re thinking a lot. Hard at it, you know. Isn’t that more of my thing?”

Finally Lena separates away from Kara and tilts her head up, now facing Kara. Their faces are so close. 

Kara flushes.

They’re not exactly at an equal eye-level, with Lena slightly lower. Kara stares into those pretty emerald-green eyes, sees her own reflection there.

“To answer your question—I don’t know. You know that I’m still uninterested, and that I stay away from all that.” They steadily hold each others gaze. “I do think about it sometimes, but it’s not a thought I enjoy entertaining - especially the aspects of being in a committed relationship.”

“I see.” Kara breathes slowly. 

Lena sighs softly. “You know me, how reluctant and repulsed I tend to get by… opening up. Letting people in, deep on an emotional level. New people or not.” She chuckles sardonically, lips pursing lightly in thought.

Lena keeps herself fiercely guarded always. Rightfully so. Kara can see how tired she looks, just by thinking about this. How many times has Lena opened up only to be betrayed, or hurt in the end? She just keeps herself protected.

Everyone has their places within Lena's heart. Carefully curated and selected. Kara feels honored to have this closeness with Lena, likes that Lena no longer holds back with her. Allows herself to be vulnerable. Open.

“But even then,” Lena continues, “I can’t say for sure with certainty that I won’t ever be involved with someone.” She pauses, smiles wryly. “Who knows with life, you know?” 

Her eyes stare deeply into Kara’s, and the unspoken  _I hadn’t anticipated you_ is clear from here.

So, what if it’s me? 

Kara keeps her mouth shut tightly, knows that she really needs to stop engaging with these thoughts. Why would that matter? Her or not—it’s the same. She’s not special, or different, when it comes to Lena and her thoughts on being with someone.

It’s just something Kara’s been curious about. Really.

(Kara tells herself this.

She’s just curious, is all.)

Kara hums, runs a hand up and down Lena’s sides. 

It’s quiet for awhile. 

The air in the penthouse is a little chilly, the product of lack of heating at the moment and winter haunting the city. It causes goosebumps to rise on Kara’s skin, but maybe that's just a reaction to being close with Lena. She can never be sure. Not with Lena.

She watches Lena silently, marveling at how pretty she looks up close and how peaceful and relaxed she is. The red lamps, dimmed, cast shadows on her face, softening all sharp edges.

When she meets Lena in the eye again, her heart stutters - Lena’s looking down at her lips. Until Lena looks back up, gaze flitting over Kara’s face before she raises her hand up to Kara’s jaw. 

“Kara,” Lena says, incredibly soft, and Kara leans closer, on an instinct. Lena’s long fingers trails along Kara’s jawline and she shifts - forehead finding Kara’s. She’s dangerously so close that their noses are almost touching.

“Hi,” Kara whispers, hand rubbing small, soothing circles on Lena’s side. “Do  _you_ want a bedtime story?”

“Hi,” Lena whispers back, eyes closing as her thumb makes a brush against Kara’s cheekbone. “And, no, I don’t.”

“Wanna look at pictures and videos of sugar gliders together?”

Lena chuckles, shakes her head. “No, maybe next time.”

“Oh. Sleepy now, are you?”

“No,” Lena says. They’re speaking so softly and quietly. Another small shift, and Lena speaks her words against Kara’s lips. “Kiss me. I want you to kiss me, but you’re being kind of dense about it.” She pulls back, putting just enough space to breathe.

Oh.  _Oh_. 

Kara flushes.

Now, Kara considers herself... a brave person. She's not a coward, but when it comes to stuff like this... she's shy. Extremely so. Especially around people that she doesn't feel strictly platonic for. Namely: Lena.

She inches forward, eyes closing slowly, head tilting as her nose bumps against Lena’s when their lips meet softly. Seconds pass, and continue to pass. Lena follows her mouth when she pulls away, and Kara smiles a little, thumb pushing over Lena’s slack lips.

Lena’s eyes open slowly, as if suddenly her lashes weighs a ton, eyes dreamy when their gazes meet and Kara feels fuzzy. Her finger grazes behind Kara’s ear, and it feels so nice and good that Kara’s leaning in again before she knows it. She grasps for Lena’s chin and kisses her.

They both taste like Lena’s mint toothpaste. It’s soft, their lips molding together. Kara scratches Lena’s scalp through it, peppering soft kisses across her mouth. Kissing the corners of her mouth, her bottom lip, top lip, listening to the shaky breath Lena lets out with every one.

Little stories are exchanged - every now and then, quietly, about their days and what’s been happening around them.

It’s nice. The world around them fades to nothing.

Then there’s a pause. Another kiss. One becomes two. Two becomes three. Three becomes more. It’s innocent. No tongue, no teeth. Just the soft presses of their lips, tiny whispers of breath. 

Suddenly it’s so intimate, Kara wanting to say how happy Lena makes her, how she much she likes how receptive Lena is to her touch, but it’s like her words are stuck glued in her head, no way of coming out - throat dry. And innocent as these gestures are, it registers some bells in Kara’s head. 

It’s too soft, too tender, and deeply intimate in a way that’s completely void of that lust and desperation that is usually laced in their kisses. Instead it’s filled with affection and tenderness—there’s no end goal for it. It makes Kara’s heart beat faster. Kara may not be an expert in relationships, or dating, but with the way they’re holding each other right now—she thinks of the romantic movies she’s seen. She’s watched a lot. Too much for her own good.

Lena is kissing her back with just as much warmth and it’s the kind of kiss that leads to nowhere and everywhere at once.

They’ve never kissed like this before. Is this overstepping?

It feels like boundaries are continually tested from the start _._

Seeing who cracks first, going one step further each and every time. But what would classify as overstepping one? It feels like another moment of overstepping, but Kara’s always been someone who pushes boundaries.

Kara’s good at knowing when it’s okay to. Not always, sometimes she makes mistakes, but she knows when it’s okay to push with Lena.

One kiss melts into another, and another, until a minute later Kara pulls back—a little breathless. She isn’t sure what to think anymore—about this and them, and if she should even think about it at all.

No - it’s fine. 

When it gets confusing, she can always rope herself back into thinking it doesn’t mean anything.

This doesn’t mean anything—whatever they do never does.

(Even if it feels like it  _does_ , right now.)

It feels like they should talk. They need to talk about this. But Kara feels a lot, allows herself to be engulfed by it and encourages this. She knows she shouldn’t, but she can’t find it in her to break the moment. 

So she asks, whispers instead, “Are you okay?”

Kara strokes Lena’s hair, pushing the loose strands behind her ears. Her hair feels so soft and silky beneath Kara’s fingertips. Lena’s lips part, tongue flicking over her bottom lip before she nods her head. 

“Yes.”

Lena’s face has gotten noticeably rosy and there’s so much trust in her eyes, a tender edge that softens even more than Kara thought possible. It fills Kara’s heart staggeringly so, it could burst.

Unable to help herself, she leans forward again, mouths pressing and sliding against one another—lazy and languid—the best kind. Kara slips a hand underneath Lena’s shirt, her fingers trailing upward Lena’s back, mapping the soft of Lena’s skin. Lena’s hand inevitably tangle in Kara’s hair, angling her face for more.

This is nothing. This means nothing, but these innocent gestures, touches, and something about this moment—it’s too loving, and sweet, and nice - Kara thinks she’d like to drown in it forever. 

And the realization makes her feel dizzy, slight panic settling in her chest. Stop encouraging it. They should move away from it.

(Kara needs it to.)

It remains innocent until Kara nips at Lena’s bottom lip, and Lena sighs into her mouth—breathless and insatiable. Lena opens her mouth and lets Kara kiss her deeper, Kara’s tongue sliding into her mouth like it’s a familiar place. 

Lena lets out a stifled, breathy moan against her mouth when Kara shifts so that she’s above Lena, propped up on her elbows.

“Rao,” Kara says. Her lips shine, slick from kissing. They pause for a moment to catch their breath. 

Lena’s eyes are dark, pupils blown out. She watches Kara and there’s something else there that Kara can’t pinpoint. It’s gone before she has time to interpret it. 

“Hey,” Kara says, cupping Lena’s cheek, touch tender. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Lena exhales a shaky breath. “I’m okay.”

Kara bites her lip, studies Lena close before nodding. She lowers herself, lazily mouths at Lena’s jaw and presses Lena against the mattress, feeling hardened nipples against her own. Lena’s breath hitches then, and an arm wraps around Kara’s torso, hand grabbing a fistful of her shirt.

“Fuck,” Lena breathes, and Kara’s tongue trails over her neck wetly, nipping and sucking and kissing skin. Lena tips her head up, exposing the full column of her neck and Kara mouths another kiss at the base of Lena’s throat.

It’s way, way too late to go back to the innocent touches and safe grounding. They can’t—not when Lena looks every bit of strung out as she sounds. Kara knows she’s all to blame, and a part of her felt that they needed to move away from that _._ It was too much—  _it doesn’t mean anything_ , she chants in her head—and now that they've reached this, Kara’s all too eager to please Lena.

She always is.

“Lena,” Kara whispers, her lips tracing along Lena’s collarbone. “Wanna make you feel good,” she says. Her hand slips underneath Lena's sweater, fingers trailing upward on skin. “Can I make you feel good?”

“You don’t have to do much to make me feel good,” Lena informs quietly, a little weakly, and Kara feels her shiver against her. Kara's hand trails up and up underneath Lena's shirt until her hand palms one breast. She squeezes firmly once, and a soft moan leaves Lena's lips. She squeezes and releases again and again, liking how Lena fits perfectly into her hand. Then her thumb brushes, tugs at Lena's nipple, and Lena's eyes slam shut.

“I want to,” Kara says. She edges a thigh between Lena’s legs, and Lena gasps sharply when she gently pushes against there. The hand in Kara's shirt twists tighter and Lena raises her hips, wanting more. She wants more. Kara is always willing to give her more and more. She helps Lena out her shorts and knickers beneath the duvet, and bends down, peppering kisses just under Lena’s jaw.

“Kara,” Lena mutters, voice low and breathy and gorgeous, “I want…”

“What is it? Tell me what you want.” A hand circles around Lena’s thigh, and Kara waits patiently, wanting Lena to voice out what she wants.

“You—I need, I need you right now. Touch me, please.”

Lena’s soaking wet already, when Kara lightly drags two fingers through Lena’s slick heat up to rub at her clit. Kara starts working her up with deep, firm strokes, and Lena’s jaw clenches tight at it, small sighs escaping from her throat as she holds Kara close.

Kara likes the little noises Lena lets out, hushed and affected. She keeps it up, gradually speeding her pace as she kisses, licks at Lena’s neck, her collarbone—mindful of not leaving a lasting mark despite the overwhelming need to deep in herself. 

Rao, she wants to, so bad.

It’s not long before Lena’s hips are canting up into her, breathing coming up fast, face tightening. She’s so close.

Kara slows her fingers then, easing into strokes that are too light and not enough, which causes Lena to make a strangled sound below her.

“God— _Kara_ ,” Lena whines, her name coming out breathy and needy. “ _Why..._ ”

“Lena,” Kara murmurs, placing a kiss on the corner of Lena’s mouth. “Not yet, okay? Be patient with me. I’ve got you.” 

Lena nods her head wordlessly, remaining completely pliant and eager underneath Kara, her cheeks blazing and chest heaving. 

Kara swallows. Something in her just likes to see Lena desperate, teetering dangerously on the edges before being pushed over the edge. Sliding her fingers downwards, she strokes Lena’s entrance slowly, skating slick heat over it.

“You’re being,” Kara breathes, her lips just an inch away from Lena's own, “ _so_  good for me, Lena. Want my fingers?”

“Yes,” Lena chokes out. “Yes, yes,  _yes…_ want your fingers. Please.”

Her middle finger easily slips in. Kara swallows Lena’s muffled moan when she latches her mouth onto hers, and plunges a second finger seconds later, keeping her palm moving against Lena’s swollen clit. Lena’s warmth welcomes her eagerly, clutching down around her fingers as Kara curls them. She gives Lena a moment to get used to the sensation.

When Lena settles, Kara starts driving into Lena, pumping deeper and harder as Lena rolls her hips to meet her thrusts.

“You can take another finger, yeah,” Kara says against Lena’s mouth, and Lena nods twice fervently. She adds the third one slowly, and Lena gasps at the stretch. The hands that grasps at Kara’s back and shoulder become nails raking streaks of fire across her tightened muscles. 

Kara suppresses a groan at her own arousal building, watching Lena wither below her, the breathy, uninhibited sounds Lena’s making, the sensation of her inner walls tightening against Kara’s fingers - so hot and slick and tight.

“Good girl,” Kara murmurs, and she feels Lena soften against her at the gentle praise. The noise Lena makes at that has Kara feeling like she owns the goddamn world. “Always so good at taking it,” she whispers against her neck. “You’re beautiful.”

Lena cups her jaw then, and pulls her face up, wanting her mouth on Kara’s. Kara complies, and the kiss quickly turns hot and messy, open-mouthed - Lena’s breath coming fast against Kara’s lips and Kara swallows every exhale, every whimper, as her fingers thrusts deeper and faster and harder into Lena.

Their breath mixes as Kara whispers to her, “You're getting close, aren't you?”

Lena stammers out in a pleasure-soaked tone, “So close, yes―fuck, Kara. Please, please.”

Kara knows. She always knows. There's something distinct about the hitch in Lena’s breath, the pitch of her moan, the twist of her face, the bite of her bottom lip that tells to Kara clearly that Lena’s almost at her limit.

And Lena comes quietly, jaw slacking. 

Kara waits a minute for her to come down, before she gently, slowly disengages her fingers from Lena. She grins at Lena’s messy hair, her heavy-lidded eyes, blown pupils, her flushed, sweaty skin. Lena looks fucked out, gone.

She likes being able to have this effect on Lena way, way too much.

“Let me—”

“No,” Kara shakes her head, wipes her hand on the sheets before sliding next to Lena. “It’s okay. There’s no need, just go to sleep. Just wanted to do that for you.” 

Arousal circles through her system, but it’s fine. Kara could finish it herself, but she doesn’t honestly mind not doing anything about it. Pleasuring herself wasn't the intent. She just wanted to make Lena feel nice. Really. 

(Even if she panicked a little before.)

And Lena looks like she could fall asleep any minute, with how dazed she looks, slowly blinking at Kara. Her lips purse as if she’s thinking about disagreeing.

“Okay,” Lena acquiesces, brows furrowing. She wipes a sweat. “I owe you, then. I’ll get back to you next time.”

Trust Lena to make anything sound like a business transaction. Kara almost laughs. She nips at her lower lip.

“You owe me nothing.”

Lena shakes her head, tugs Kara by her shirt when Kara makes a movement in the bed. The tug is slow, and her fist stays drawn in the shirt, almost shy in a way, as if—as if she’s afraid Kara’s going to get up and leave.

(As if Lena prefers Kara to stay always, and that’s —

That’s impossible.)

Lena just wants to be held close. Lena’s soft and touchy like that with her. It draws a gentle chuckle out of Kara, lips curling into a small smile.

“Goodnight, Lena,” she whispers, placing a kiss on Lena’s forehead before she can even think to want to.

It’s no good, Kara thinks.

Lena murmurs a soft  _goodnight, Kara_ back against her neck, nuzzling closer. Minutes pass. It isn’t long before Lena drifts away, her breathing evening out—a sign that she’s fallen asleep.

Kara takes a quiet, shuddering breath. 

It’s no good.

Kara could get used to this, she figures. It isn’t the first time she’s thought about it. She’s thought about it a few times already. She feels like she could, so easily, willingly—if she’d allow it. It’s an alarming thought, one she knows she shouldn’t play with.

If Kara had more self-restraint, she reckons things would be different. 

But it’s Lena. It’s difficult not to be like this with her.

She thinks if she had this sort of thing with anyone else, she wouldn’t be doing half the things she’s doing with Lena with them. She thinks so. Knows so. Like staying the night and waking up with them, or placing a damn personal toothbrush in their bathroom. Or doing grocery shopping with them, buying too much damn chamomile tea boxes and matcha solely for their own benefit, or kissing them goodnight, tucked in her arms safely.

Either way, the reason still stands. 

 _It’s Lena_.

There’s a sudden itch in her chest, however.

It scares Kara how easily she could get used to this, with Lena.

She can’t get used to this. 

She can’t get used to this, even if it feels like she  _can -_ even if she knows it would be easy to _._

Kara bites at the inside of her cheek and inhales deeply.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: [@coffeeshib](https://twitter.com/coffeeshib)


	8. Chapter 8

It feels like they’re dating.

Kara should—she should do something about that. 

Kara does not do something about it. In fact, by all accounts, she makes it worse.

Currently her arm is pressed against Lena's as she sips on some alcoholic beverage Winn bought for her. The whole group is gathered in the corner at a table, with Winn getting more drinks for everyone and Alex groaning about having to pay for everyone. Lena is beside her, leaning very much against her shoulder, the physical contact and her perfume making Kara feel a little lightheaded.

“It’s fine, Alex,” Lena says, dimples forming on her cheek. “It’s on me. I’ll pay for everyone.”

“Holy shit, Luthor,” Alex huffs, leaning back on her seat. A wide grin spreads across her face. “All right, you said it. No take-backs.”

“Yeah,” Lena shrugs. “Order whatever you like.”

Alex nods in approval, smirk widening and sends Kara a brief glance.

Kara rolls her eyes. This isn’t the first time Lena’s offered to pay for everything every time they’d go out for drinks and food. But she doesn’t say anything to stop it, because her best friend is a fucking  _billionaire._ In the earlier days, though, Kara would always have something to say, with her cheeks burning and ranting on and on about Lena being used, and Lena paying things for her.

She feels a hand land on her thigh under the table, and a small and gentle squeeze follows after it. Lena’s. Kara continues to sip her drink, looking straight ahead.

“Hey, guys!” Winn comes back carrying drinks. “Brainy—chill on the drinks, bud. We still need to do our pool rounds!”

Nia laughs, huddles closer to Brainy and Brainy frowns, eyeing at his almost empty glass. Winn hands shot-filled glasses to everyone except Kara and Nia and Brainy, and gives them something else instead, something that's obviously not for human consumption.

“What is this?” Alex lifts her glass to identify the alcohol. “Oh, shit, Winn. Jaeger?”

“Nice. German’s finest,” Kelly approves with a smile. 

Winn grins. “Hell yeah. I also got us some Red Bull cans, if you guys wanted it along with the shots.”

Kara looks down at her own drink, sees a pretty blue liquid swirling ominously in her glass. Does she have complete and utter trust and faith in Winn getting her drinks? Rao, no. Will she drink anyway? Yes.

On the count of three they all take their shots, and empty glasses collectively slam down on the table. Kara’s eyes water as the alcohol burns down her gullet. The taste is so foul it makes her grimace and she looks at her empty glass with a sour face before snapping her head back up. Nia beats her to asking about the drink.

“Winn, what the  _hell_ ,” Nia says, face twisting entirely as she’s just chugged down her chaser. Her cheeks faintly reddens. “What was in our drinks? What did you get us?”

Winn puts a finger up, face in thought. “I forgot the name. But it’s okay!” he says quickly. “M’gann’s friend served me and told me what would really fire up ya insides. I can get you guys more.”

“Wow,” Kara says. “Thank you for that, Winn. I’m not really looking to get  _that_ fired up tonight. I have work early tomorrow.” 

Winn pouts, shaking his head. “No fun. Well, I am, and besides. Free drinks!” He grins at Lena with a thumbs up, and Kara lets out a small sigh, shaking her head at her friend. Winn is a  _terrible_  drunk. The kind that underestimates their limit and ends up getting hammered too fast. He also sulks - a lot. She can already see it happening.

“You know, Winn,” Lena says, leaning forward a bit. “Don’t be obvious. There’s a guy that’s been eyeing at you for the past ten minutes, just right over that pool table over there, near the restroom.”

Winn being Winn, gasps and turns his head sharply to the direction of the pool tables. The guy by the table quickly looks away and places his pool stick in front of him as if to hide. Kara breaks into laughter and Lena winces with a smile.

“Wow, hopeless.  _So_ subtle,” Alex quips easily. “Seriously, Winn. How do you live like this?”

“Oh my god,” Winn says, eyes wide. “Was he checking me out? Guys. He’s, wow—he’s cute, do you think he’s going to make a move?”

“I don’t know, Winn. If he doesn't, will you?” Lena inputs, smirking before she makes a brief eye contact with Kara. Her hand hasn’t left Kara’s thigh. 

Kara takes another sip of her cocktail and thinks and  _thinks_. Rao. It feels like they’re dating and she absolutely has no sense of self-preservation. It feels like they’re dating and she’s encouraging it all—the touching and little exchanges of private looks. It isn’t helping Kara that Lena doesn’t seem to mind—in fact she seems into it and she’s been so nonchalant about everything so far and it leaves Kara with many thoughts to herself.

Her mind wanders, indulging herself with the thoughts of the possibility of these little moments she shares with Lena meaning more than it should. It’s frightening, and ridiculous, and awfully dangerous, but Kara can’t help it.

Half an hour passes by and shortly after a while more, music is turned up in the room loudly, rousing people all-around. People whistle and toast to each other, faces lightening up and many get up to either dance or order more drinks.

Kara’s limbs feel loose and she grins easily at the banter being fired back and forth amongst her friends. She’s nowhere near tipsy at all, but she’s feeling that buzz in her system. Her mouth feels numb. Goodness, that  _one_ shot glass really did a number on her. 

Lena hasn’t left Kara’s side, and Rao help Kara. Kara keeps finding excuses to touch her—a hand at the small of Lena’s back each time she laughs, sides pressed against each other when she's quiet and listening to their friends banter. If their friends notice they don’t make a comment about it, although Kara catches Alex and Winn eyeing at each other with subtle, communicative looks before looking at them every now and then.

Music continues to resound throughout the room, the drunk weekend crowd dancing on the other side of the room making louder noises. Alex and Winn leave to set up their pool table, while Kelly excuses herself to the restroom. Soon it’s only Kara and Lena left alone together in their table, when Nia and Brainy leaves to set up another table.

Kara eyes at the dance floor, then the bar. She bumps her shoulder with Lena’s.

“Dance with me?” she sends Lena a charming smile, tilting her head a little for extra effect. This isn’t making things worse, Kara tells herself. This is dancing. It’s just dancing.

There are a number of empty glasses in front of Lena, but Lena still looks fine. Normal, sober. Kara can’t really tell for sure, though.

Lena watches her, lips thinning. Kara counts to four seconds.

“Okay.”

A grin lights up in Kara’s face and she takes Lena by the hand, guiding her towards the dance floor. They find a corner and Kara turns to face Lena, smiling. This isn’t making things worse. It’s not, and her heart flips at it anyway, as she pulls Lena with her through the mass of people.

The crowd around them is thick and dark, and Kara finds that she likes it like that. Lena still looks hesitant and her eyes doesn’t leave Kara's.

Kara smiles at her encouragingly and guides Lena’s arms, draping them around her shoulders. She places her palms on Lena’s hips, and when she flashes another grin at Lena, Lena smiles back. 

Lena could use more loosening up and fun. Kara’s very good at loosening up and fun.

“You know I’m terrible at this,” Lena comments, her lips intentionally brushing against Kara’s ear.

“No, you’re not,” Kara laughs, and eliminates the little space between them, bringing their bodies flush against each other. “Don’t even try. You just want an out because you’re afraid to dance in front of people.”

They easily find their own rhythm—a little slower than the beat of the music, already entranced in their bubble, undivided attention for the other.

“Dragged me all the way out here so you could touch me more, did you?” Lena’s mouth tilts into a smirk. “Or have me all to yourself privately.”

Kara swallows, wets her lips. The sound of a cue ball rolling down into a pocket sharply reaches her enhanced hearing and Nia shouts an  _oh yeah! I’m carrying this hopeless team._ Kara shoots a glance at the pool table area, sees that their friends have already started without them.

“Maybe I did,” Kara says. This isn't making things worse, she reiterates in her head.

“ _Kara Danvers_. I like that you did,” Lena says, her mouth curling into a flirtatious smirk. Times like these, Kara wonders what’s going in Lena’s mind—when she’s being flirty, and genuine, and regarding Kara with that special kind of look no one else gets from Lena Luthor.

It’s no good. 

Kara doesn’t know how to act, what to do. The truth is, she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about Lena ever since five nights ago. 

Lena closes her eyes, her face slightly tipping up towards the ceiling. Her neck glistens with sweat under the lights. Kara holds back the need to lean forward, tracing her nose over it, kissing it.

Lena is devastating. But Kara’s had five years to get used to Lena’s face, four months to feel familiar with her body. Sometimes Kara thinks she’s learned all there is to know about Lena, and then Lena does something or says something or maybe looks at Kara in a particular way and Kara’s left reeling all over again. 

It’s just Lena.

But there’s no “just” about Lena. 

She can study Lena all she wants, her body, learn every little scar and memorize the ways in which her muscles shift and flex beneath her skin, but there’s no way to do that with her heart.

Kara isn’t sure what the fuck she’s doing with Lena. She doesn't like thinking about it. Finds herself spiraling every time. The thing about them is that they’re an  _almost_. Kara can feel it with painstaking clarity every time she looks at Lena. 

She takes a deep, shaky breath.

The dim lights surround them, and it’s darker in this corner that Kara feels daring.

Lena’s eyes are dark and heavy when she meets them once again. Kara’s hands start to wander, sliding over the crest of Lena’s ass. They’ve never danced like this before, edging into something dirty, sexy. Lena shifts her face into Kara’s neck and presses her hand to Kara’s spine. Kara nudges a thigh between Lena’s, and Lena’s breath hitches, hot against Kara’s cheek, before lips move onto her jaw, and down her neck.

“This is nice,” Kara says. It slips and she flushes, biting her tongue.

“Yeah?” Lena murmurs against Kara's neck, and her right hand slides around Kara's head and under her hair, tugging at the short hairs and wispy tendrils at the nape of Kara's neck. The smell of alcohol reaches Kara’s nose and she wonders what jaeger amongst other cocktail tastes like. “Nice, very nice, but I want more.”

Kara doesn’t know how to respond, which isn’t bad since Lena doesn’t want words. Not at this moment. Lena nips, and sucks at her pulse point and it sends Kara’s knees buckling slightly and Lena smirks into her skin. In response, Kara’s hands lowers down, grasping and pushes her thigh more firmly against Lena’s. Over the loud crowd, she hears the soft murmur of her name leaving Lena’s lips.

The dim lights dances on Lena’s features, softening her sharp edges. Her fingers are still in Kara’s hair. They're so close, their breaths mingling. The world around them goes out of focus for a fleeting moment and all that Kara sees are the sparks in Lena’s eyes. Their mouths hover close but not quite touching, as they grind against each other, song after song.

Lena’s hand slides up the side of Kara’s jaw, and Kara’s head is turning, and then their mouths are pressed together and Kara completely short circuits.

For a short, confused moment she thinks it's a mistake—a wonderful, great mistake—but Lena’s fingers press gently into the space beneath Kara’s ear and her lips are moving, and Kara can taste the jaeger because she opens her mouth and there it is, just one more overwhelming thing. 

There's a small, desperate sound and Kara thinks it was herself before she realizes it was Lena, small and desperate. The kiss is wet, desperate and hot, like Lena wants to devour her. Kara levels with her, licks the roof of Lena’s mouth and feels Lena melt against her body.

Kara knows they should stop, knows that the butterflies in the low of her belly aren’t innocent as their tongues roll over one another. She knows the groan in her chest won’t stay put for long if Lena keeps nibbling at her bottom lip and exhaling into her mouth.

She pulls away, takes a shaky breath and looks at Lena.

Lena’s lips are spit-slicked, kissed-red.

A desire to ruin her even more births itself inside Kara’s mind as her eyes flits over Lena's face. Rao. They could leave right now. They could leave right now if they both wanted to.

Lena watches her closely just as much and breaks into a soft, giggly chuckle that very much sounds like a tipsy-drunk kind of laugh.

“We could leave if you want,” Lena says, her voice dropped into a husky register, one that has a flush spreading to Kara’s cheeks and the tips of her ears. Lena distances herself a bit but she remains close as her fingers dance on the exposed skin of Kara’s neck.

It's a suggestion, a proposal. Lena stands in front of her, their entire group of friends hidden behind her back. Not that Kara cares about it right now. Her mind is full of different ideas that are all a variation of the same theme – Lena’s hands on her and no clothes separating them. She wants to feel Lena’s skin against her own, flush and hot. Have Lena all to her own.

“Do you want to?”

“Yes. But only if you want to, darling,” Lena replies. The nickname makes Kara’s head reel and her heart swells devastatingly, clenching and thudding as it does. Lena leans in a little, her fingers abandoning Kara’s neck to fit themselves between Kara’s hand, their palms sliding together.

“Oh, um,” she stumbles over her words, forgetting her thoughts. It's confusing, the blurred lines and deceiving thoughts and smiles and a million of what-ifs wrapped in something that could be beautiful if she lets it happen. 

Something hits her then, like a train, hard enough that she feels like her ribs are caving in from the force, heart crushed by the weight of it all. She’s not sure what sets it off – Lena’s fingers intertwining with hers, the knowledge that Lena only does this with her, or what – but it’s suddenly a lot to bear. 

Lena is waiting, and Kara doesn’t want to disappoint. Right now, Kara only knows that she wants, and wants anything that is with Lena right now.

They’ve stayed here long enough. It wouldn’t be rude to leave now.

Lena tilts her head, smirk turning into a soft smile when the silence from Kara has much prolonged. Kara squeezes her hand in reassurance, a silent answer to all of Lena’s questions.

“Okay,” she says.

They separate then, and Lena heads over to the bartender to pay for everything tonight.

Kara worms her way over to the pool tables and only sees Alex, Kelly, and Brainy. Brainy tells her that Nia and Winn are outside. When she tells Alex that she’ll be leaving early, she’s met with a pointed eyebrow look and a very smug smirk.

“Bye, sis.” Alex’s smug smirk widens.

Figures.

 

-

 

Kara finds Nia and Winn sitting on the grimy curb outside the bar. Nia’s rubbing soothing circles on Winn’s back as Winn has a hand in his hair, looking like he’s about to vomit. Kara chuckles at the sight.

“Where’s your other half?”

“With our friends.” Kara sits down on the curb next to Nia. Lena is still inside, paying for the tab and chatting with the rest of their friends.

“Hi,” Nia says, and winces when Winn groans, his face turned to the concrete. She looks at Kara. “You good? You’re not gonna puke too, are you?”

“No.”

“Great.”

“Damn, maybe I went  _too_ hard,” Winn says. He sighs and with heavy effort, turns to face Kara. He makes a small, considering noise. “You and Lena, huh?”

“Rao,” Kara sighs. “Who even knows.”

“Definitely everyone, after tonight.”

Kara rubs her neck gingerly. The street is dark and the sidewalk is tinted yellow from the streetlights, and the buildings around them are all closed for the night, except the ones lit up from inside by neon signs. Another club, a dive bar, a greasy-looking restaurant that must cater exclusively to the people who stagger out of clubs at one a.m., hungry and very drunk.

“So, are you and Lena actually—”

“No,” Kara quickly says. “We’re—we’re not anything. Really.” 

It’s not like she was trying to be subtle tonight, or was trying to hide whatever it is she has with Lena. Well—she was, a little bit back then when she wanted to avoid explaining things.

Now she finds that it doesn't really matter. 

They aren’t anything. That's one of the easiest way to put it, and what's there to hide?

She looks down at the ground, wringing her hands together tightly.

“Yikes, that’s weird,” Winn snorts, a heavy slur in his words. He receives a slap on the shoulder from Nia. “Ow, Nia! Oh shit—I can feel bile rising up again.”

“Quiet. Focus on yourself,” Nia rolls her eyes. She hands him a new bottle of water before turning back to Kara. “Are you going to leave soon?”

“Yeah, I was just wanting to say bye to you guys first. I’m leaving with Lena.”

“I figured.”

Kara shrugs. She looks at Winn. Winn’s palming his eyes, his hair looks like a mess and his sleeves looks... stained.

“It’s okay, we’ve all got him,” Nia says. “Alex and Kelly are gonna drive him home. I got Brainy.”

“Right, okay,” Kara says, scratches the side of her head. “Cute pool boy got to witness the puking, I’m guessing?”

Winn groans louder and Kara laughs.

“All right, I’m gonna go now.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Nia says. “Have fun banging Lena. Or, you know, the other way round.”

Oh how the little one runs her mouth. Before Kara thinks about letting out a retort, Lena appears behind her.

“Nia, Winn,” Lena greets, and her face contorts into a grimace at the sight. “Ah… is Winn okay? Alex and Kelly are playing their last rounds, they’re going to leave after that.”

“Managing,” Nia says. Winn doesn’t even look like he’s aware that Lena’s here—he still has his hands in his hair, uttering small noises as he rubs on his forehead. “Thanks for tonight, Lena.”

Kara gets on her feet and Lena walks closer, grinning at Nia with a nod to her head. “It was nice to see everyone in one place again.”

Nia nods, smiling warmly at them both. They bid each other good byes before Nia stands up with Winn, seeming as if they’re going to head back inside now.

A foggy puff of breath blows in the air beside Kara and she turns to see the source. She doesn’t realise she’s staring until Lena takes a step towards her, her hand reaching out for Kara’s.

They’re standing so close to each other that the tips of their shoes are almost touching. 

Lena breaks into a small smile, and just the simple action causes a pull at Kara’s heartstrings, her heart feeling full as it beats fast.

“Hey.”

Kara doesn’t say anything. Looks at Lena, eyes calm.

“You okay?” Lena asks, voice so soft and quiet and warm—in the way they speak to each other when it's just them, alone, together with no one else present.

“I’m—”

Kara doesn’t know what she wants to say.

“Yeah.” She tries, shakes her head as soon as it leaves her lips.

Not the right word. Lena’s lips part, her face softening and eyebrows furrowing. Before Lena can voice her concern, Kara presses closer and places a hand on Lena’s shoulder, her thumb brushing the side of Lena’s neck. She leans in, dragging Lena gently into an unhurried, slow kiss that leaves Lena swaying forward when they part a minute later.

“Oh, are we for  _real_ ,” Nia sputters behind Kara with a hand on her forehead, and she’s at a considerable distance away from them. Winn whistles out loud beside Nia with a goofy face, bringing forth one loud clap.

Kara turns her head to see that their two friends are back.

“Wow, wow!” Winn giggles like a true drunk, eyes blinking wide and slow. “Seeing my two friends make out at a grimy curb—you two—I—did I accidentally jump into an alternate universe? That was hot. But get a room!” he shouts, snickering with his dreamy, unfocused look. “Oh, ouch my throat. Damn, I love the gays. Fuck yeah!”

Winn tips as he stands and Nia gets a hold of him quick enough. She groans, mumbles  _what’s taking Brainy so long_ under her breath.

“Rao,” Kara whispers and turns back to face Lena, her cheeks deeply blushing. Lena just simply laughs and takes Kara’s hand into her own.

“Mm, Winn’s right.” Lena quietly hums, watching Kara with a growing, sly smirk on her lips. She gives Kara’s hand a squeeze, while her other hand skims along Kara’s collar, her fingertips brushing over the exposed skin of Kara’s neck. “Yours or mine?”

“My apartment’s thirty minutes away. Yours is ten,” Kara says, squeezes Lena’s hand back. Though she didn't drink as much as the others, she is warm and buzzing from the alcohol, and the idea of flying right now doesn't sound nice. It's already late, but the night is not over and Kara wants to chase the rest of it away by breezing through the city, adrenaline high in her body. “I know you drank a considerable amount tonight. Think you’re sober enough to leg it?”

Lena grins.

 

-

 

They stumble through bustling streets and dark alleyways, not quite running, but being foolish nonetheless. Flickering lights on the street lights and pulsating neon lights from the city buildings follow them, as they carve a path outside in the late hours of the night. The city, traffic, and people who are nothing but familiar strangers carries them forward, through the maze of streets until they reach Lena’s block.

Lena pulls Kara back in her embrace, her eyes glistening with something. Her laugh is soft and bubbly, sending warmth in Kara’s body from her fingertips to the very core of her being and Kara wants to hear more of it, drink it up like it's the finest wine.

“We’re almost home,” Lena murmurs against Kara’s lips, the word home resonating in the space between them. The word  _home_ washes over Kara with a certain glow of giddiness and an ache in her chest, and she quickly forces it down as she reciprocates Lena’s touches.

Kara’s kisses are light, more teasing than heated, and she only intends for it to be that way until Lena’s mouth opens under her own, tongue gliding along Kara’s bottom lip before dipping inside. Soon she finds herself pushed back against a brick wall, at an alleyway, with Lena almost in her lap, her fingers winding in her hair.

“Lena,” Kara sighs into Lena’s mouth, wraps an arm around Lena’s back and pulls her closer, bodies flushed against each other. She likes the feel of Lena’s slender figure when she hugs her, her lovely soothing, smooth voice, her surprisingly sharp tongue. “Lena.”

She’s sweet, she’s poisonous, trying to kill Kara with each lick over the roof of her mouth. Lena smiles against her mouth and pulls her head back seconds later—only slightly that their faces are still close.

“This seems familiar,” Lena comments, her eyes focused heavily on Kara’s lips as her fingers trace along Kara’s jawline. They’re at an unknown dark and dirty alleyway once again—it’s familiar all right.

“Careful, I could really take you right here, right now if you keep at this,” Kara murmurs seriously. 

“Wow, blame a girl,” Lena says, her voice low and sweet. She leans in again, mouthing down Kara's neck hot and wetly, nipping on her skin. Kara moans and tilts her head to give Lena a better angle, shivering at the feeling of wet heat on her skin. “You’ve been handsy all night. You don’t mind our friends knowing?”

Knowing what? That they’re… fucking? They’re a something? There isn't much to say. Or anything worth knowing about.

Kara flushes and bites her bottom lip.

“Blame a girl,” Kara only says, because she isn’t sure what to say. When she looks down she wonders when the first two buttons of her shirt got undone. “You’re so pretty. I just like hugging you.”

Lena pauses, slightly tilts her head. “Those two seem like a separate matter, darling.” Her body vibrates with a chuckle, the sound easily filling Kara’s heart. “And I’m quite certain it wasn’t just hugging you did today.”

“I just think about you a lot,” Kara says, and a low moan escapes from her mouth when Lena sucks at her skin. “You’re always pretty distracting.”

Lena moves her head back and Kara sees a smirk on her face. “Think of me a lot, do you?”

Emerald-green eyes watch her closely and Kara wonders why there’s suddenly a lot of talking and less moving and touching.

“Sure.”

“Do you think of me when you do it, Kara?”

A beat of silence. “Lena.”

“No shame, I’m just curious,” Lena says. Despite the darkness surrounding them, Kara can see how focused Lena’s gaze is, her pupils blown wide, and how all that intensity is focused directly on Kara. It makes it kind of hard to concentrate—to do anything, really, except pull Lena closer again. 

Kara wet her lips with her tongue and tries to speak. “Sure. I—I do.”

“Mm,” Lena nods, her dimples popping out. “Are you really my friend if you haven’t masturbated to me,” she teases with a flirtatious, downright attractive grin that makes Kara blush furiously, her body shuddering with arousal at the huskiness of her voice. 

Rao,  _why_ is Lena like this? Kara expels a shaky breath as Lena simply smirks at her. This is her best friend, this is how she is, and when Kara has a buzzed up Lena in her arms, it’s twice worse. Is Kara supposed to survive this night? It’s not the most explicit thing Lena’s ever said to her but it still makes Kara’s ears burn. 

Fortunately, she’s learned that the most effective way of silencing Lena is to lean forward, kissing her breathless. So she does just that, kissing Lena deep and slow, tongue sliding against Lena’s hotly and languidly that has them both breathing thickly after a few heated minutes.

Then, Lena breaks easily from her grip and leads them down yet another alley, past walls decorated with graffiti, cats wandering about near the trash bins and locked doors. They pass through street after street, with light and darkness taking turns in washing over them as flickering neon lights cast upon their heads. Lena’s dark hair glows, like a false halo, and Kara can’t keep her eyes off the woman in front of her who looks ethereal even under the crappy lights.

They slip inside Lena’s building with their intertwined hands, and the lobby they stumble upon is devoid of activity. The elevator opens and Lena gestures for Kara’s hand to the biometric scanner to take them up to Lena’s floor. 

Hand placed onto the scanner, Lena takes her by surprise and hugs her from behind, arms coming to rest around her waist. She strokes at Kara’s hip with her fingertips, sneaking her way underneath Kara’s shirt to place her palm over Kara’s abdomen and feels her up. Kara’s breath hitches when Lena’s hand travels further up, causing her hand to twitch and almost pressing a random floor number.

Lena chuckles low in her throat, pressing a hot open-mouthed kiss to the side of Kara’s throat. Kara moans at it, feels Lena’s lips twisting into a knowing smirk.

“You’re not fair.” Her voice comes out thin, more a gasp than anything else. 

“All is fair in love and war,” Lena says.

Kara pauses. Feels her chest constrict at the phrase. She wants to comment on that—to note that what they share isn’t exactly love but an imitation of it. No, Lena loves her in every way that matters, but not—not in the way Kara imagines Lena could —

Instead, when the elevator door opens, she lifts Lena up and Lena instantly adapts, her legs wrapping around Kara’s waist. Out of the cubicle, Lena’s back hits against a wall and Kara takes her in roughly, dragging her lips, her tongue and teeth against pale, unblemished skin.

“Kara,” Lena’s moan comes out high-pitched and breathy, and she crumples against Kara, draping her arms over Kara’s shoulders, her hand fistful of blonde hair. Her eyes are squeezed shut, eyebrows drawn up and sweet cherry lips open in a pretty ‘o’. She’s the very image of sensuality, and Kara is hooked on it.

“You're so damn perfect,” Kara babbles before she can stop herself. “So perfect and good, Rao.”

“Kara...” The back of Lena's head makes a  _thud_  against the wall when Kara grinds against her hard, and a hot smirk plays on Lena's lips as she breathes audibly, face up. “Loosen up my buttons, babe.”

Her words have Kara's heart doing cartwheels inside her chest and Kara flushes deeply, ignores, ignores, ignores, the pet name. Her hand slides to the small of Lena's back, uses her other hand to unbutton Lena's shirt one by one as she tucks her face in Lena's neck, attaching her mouth on pale skin.

Coats are hastily removed and dropped to the floor as the room fills up with panting and moans.

What they share isn’t love, but an imitation of it. This plays in Kara’s head and she ignores, ignores, ignores as her heart beats fast, her thoughts scattered and her brain filled with Lena, Lena, Lena.

Effortlessly, she easily carries Lena all the way to the bed and settles her gently onto the mattress. Hovering above Lena with her knees pressed on the sheets, she grabs at the hem of her shirt and watches how Lena’s eyes darken further, and bites her bottom lip in anticipation at the exposure of skin and abs. Kara pulls off the clothing over her head, chucking it behind her.

She settles down over Lena’s body again and laves hot, wet kisses and bites along down the column of Lena’s neck.

“Fuck, Kara…” Lena utters so quietly, voice breathy and hot. She lets out a guttural, drawn-out moan as Kara sinks her teeth into the soft skin of Lena’s neck and presses Lena hard into the mat as she does.

Sliding her palm against Lena’s, she directs their hands just above Lena’s head and she comes back up, dragging her lips from Lena’s collarbone, up to her neck, jaw, and takes her mouth wetly. Her other hand slips under the hem of Lena’s shirt, sliding up Lena’s ribs to cover her breast, warm palm kneading, rolling the hardened nipple.

Kissing Lena always feels rushed and unrushed at the same time, but still rushed nonetheless—urgent like the world is crumbling under Kara’s feet. Here one moment, gone the next. It comes with a tinge of desperation and the possibility of it being the last time because they aren't in a relationship. 

She isn't Lena's, and Lena isn't hers. They aren’t exclusive to one another. 

No matter how much Lena is pliant under her hands, she's not the one Lena can call hers even though—even though Kara wants —

It’s not until later when Kara opens her eyes once again that she realizes. She realizes hazily that there are tears in her lashes, making things crystalline and blurry, but not overly. 

She blinks hard and pauses to look at Lena, moves her shaking hand from Lena’s shoulders to her jaw and thumbs on her cheekbones, holding her. 

The room is dark enough to keep Kara’s face obscured a little, the low beam of light shining over their heads from the red lamp.

“Kara?”

“Lena.”

The eye contact feels like a physical thing. Another connection between them, another place where their bodies are touching.

“Hey. Everything okay?” Lena asks softly, undoubtedly confused by the sudden halt in their activities.

Kara clenches her jaw, eyelids fluttering. She gazes into Lena’s face, eyes flicking across Lena’s flushed red cheeks and half-lidded eyes, her lips, soft and shiny. Kara’s own mouth feels swollen, her lips aching, and she wants —

Slowly, she slides her hand across Lena’s chest and it comes to a stop at a spot, palm flat against the skin there. Against her palm, Lena’s heart thumps and thumps, pace fast and steady.

Kara wants —

Rao, she wants —

“Mm,” Kara hums. She isn’t.

 

* * *

 

Kara wakes up in the early morning, too early. Tired in a soft, sleepy kind of way, like her bed is warm and there's no place she'd rather be. She opens her eyes, takes in the room. 

Not her room. 

The sun dips in through the window, unusually bright. She shuts her eyes tightly and buries her face into her pillow. Her pillow moves, shifts, laughs, and Kara remembers everything all at once.

Eyes closed, she feels Lena’s naked body shift against hers, cozy and comfortable, and forgets to breathe. Something heavy drops in Kara’s stomach. She lies still on the mattress, not trusting herself to think about it now and instead thinks about how nice it feels in her spot right now beside Lena. 

Kara likes that they wake up touching, likes the feel of Lena’s collarbones against her lips or her chest pressed against Lena’s back or Lena curled up next to her, a leg carelessly thrown across Kara’s thighs.

She likes the way Lena stretches under the blankets, gets real real big and spread hawk, yawns, then curls back into herself nearly instantly, gets tiny tiny tiny beside Kara, and holds Kara close to her.

She likes that Lena pulls on one of her shirts, or her oversized sweaters first thing every morning when she stands up, likes that Lena always takes Kara’s spare hair ties when she has dozens of her own, likes that Lena stumbles to the kitchen like she’s drunk, likes that Lena devours the little breakfast meals and tea boxes Kara buys for her, likes that Lena glares at the kettle like it shouldn’t take so long to boil for her coffee.

Kara likes likes likes likes.

Lena smiles so sleepily it hurts hurts hurts. Emerald-green eyes look back at her, soft smile tugging at the corner of Lena’s lips. Kara wants to see those sleep smiles every single morning, every single night, she wants to hold them in between her fingers and press her hands into her heart and always keep it there.

“Hi, Lena,” she whispers, pulling her head back away a little. Her voice sounds rough and croaky, sleep heavy and tired. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” Lena says, turns her head, cheek pressed into the pillow and closes her eyes. A small yawn escapes her mouth. Kara bites the inside of her cheek and she shifts in her spot. The blanket slips a little and exposes down Lena's neck and shoulder. Multiple hickeys and marks over pale skin.

“Sorry. Was I too rough last night?” She reaches to smooth Lena’s hair back from her forehead, lets her fingers tangle. Lena tilts into the touch and Kara feels like she tilts with her, leaning closer, on an instinct.

“No.” Lena straightens up, peeks an eye open, then another. She looks at Kara lazily and shakes her head, chuckling quietly.

Kara is almost embarrassed at the primal satisfaction she gets from Lena looking extremely content and comfortable—her long black curls messy, spread across her pillow, and she looks so soft and a little disheveled, at the same time she’s marked up with at least three visible hickeys down her neck and—yeah, it does something to Kara.

“No?”

“Not at all. I mean, yes, you were rough, but I liked it. Thanks.” 

Kara frowns. “Thanks?”

Lena nods with sleep fond eyes and presses her cheek into Kara’s palm, the soft smile that’s still gracing her mouth and—it’s all too much.

“For?” Kara starts, hesitantly before an unsure grin appears on her lips. “The best fuck of your life?” she says, and her heart races at it—chest tightening. 

She should get up. Get ready for work.

“Um, I’m gonna take a shower,” she says suddenly. Before Lena could open her mouth.

Lena’s mouth tilts into a small frown—a little confusion etched on her face, and nods. 

“Okay.”

 

 -

 

The shower is a welcome respite.

Kara’s grimy from the bar, and her stomach still feels sticky from the drinks, and as she washes herself off she imagines that she’s washing off their night, too. Lena isn’t allowed to linger. She wants to smell like lavender and that weird strawberry soap bar Nia bought one time instead of… desperation maybe, on her part.

Kara fucked up. Royally. 

She doesn’t regret any of this, anything with Lena—no, but now she has to face the consequences of her actions. See repercussions: suffering, misery, aching, some more suffering, and a thirst for one Lena Luthor that is now worse than ever.

Out of the shower, she dries herself with a towel and makes sure she’s finished all her routine before heading out.

She knows what’s happening. She acknowledges it. She just hasn’t given a voice to it.

Her inner turmoil is worse now. Perhaps she’s better at acting than she thinks she is because Lena doesn’t seem to notice. Lena grins softly across the kitchen counter at her as she fixes herself some coffee. That’s good. Kara doesn’t want to make Lena think she did anything wrong.

Here they are again at their familiar spots: Lena there and Kara here and it feels—it feels —

A lot. 

“Kara, darling, coffee?” Lena asks, reaching over the cupboard for another cup. Kara knows that Lena already knows the answer because she’s already preparing her a cup.

“Yes, please,” she says, holding an empty cereal box in her hand.

Kara thinks she should say something. She should say something, because she doesn’t keep anything from Lena. But telling her would instantly put a stop to all this, and Kara absolutely does  _not_  want that. She refuses to think about it, even.

The reason why they've been able to keep up at this for so long and make it work is because neither expect anything from each other, and they keep it simple. There are no expectations. Lena certainly didn't sign up for anything more than this, and Kara knows that well, they've had a number of discussions about this.

Kara knows that Lena doesn’t think and want her anything more than a best friend. She understands this. But sometimes—sometimes Kara thinks otherwise, because Lena can be incredibly confusing and ambiguous at times, and —

Shit, maybe Kara can’t handle it. Her thoughts race in her head and she's trying to keep up.

If she says nothing, nothing has to change. It’s good, it’s fine like this. If she says nothing, nothing has to change. But her heart is like a greedy, sadistic one. Rising and pushing Kara into Lena, to wanting and continuing even though she knows that this isn’t okay.

She’s got it bad. It’s a fact she’s always known, but the string that Kara’s heart has wrapped around Lena’s is growing thicker and coarser. Kara just wants to rip her heart out so she doesn’t have to sit and think too much about how it feels being with Lena so intimately.

Standing up, she takes the empty cereal box into the bin and lingers near the countertop, looking at Lena’s mini plant pot. Inside it is the familiar cactus. 

A smile tugs at the corners of her lips. Lena appears beside her then, places her cup of coffee in front of her and smiles.

Kara, having only an ounce of self-preservation, smiles back and cups her cheek. Leans in and kisses her. Kissing her soft and sweet. Kissing her like it’s a lazy Saturday morning, like she has all the time in the world for Lena, has always had all the time in the world, always will.

This is exactly what she was afraid of. All of this — getting used to being with Lena in this way, liking each and every moment of it — an unhealthy, inappropriate amount.

She should say something. Instead, she finds herself parting Lena's lips and venturing forward from a simple kiss to a more indulgent kiss, their lips slotting together over and over, quiet noises and breaths against each other’s mouth.

She wants to talk to Lena. But she can’t, the words are stuck in her throat as Lena pulls away from her, nuzzles her nose into Kara’s cheek and traces over her collarbone affectionately, and, fuck. Friends with benefits don’t do this, do they? She's gone over this. Lena is simply just cuddly and affectionate with Kara, and she’s her best friend, and Kara probably just smells really nice right now that Lena finds herself doing this, and Lena does it because she simply can, and _wants_ to, and the more Kara thinks about all this, the more she finds herself in a clusterfuck of questions and fuzzy lines.

Kara takes an unsteady breath.

Lena can be confusing sometimes, but Kara tries—emphasizes that part on blaming this on herself, on seeing the things she wants to see only.

“When do you leave?” Lena asks quietly in the small space between them, her gaze infinitely soft and warm. She looks like she wants to lean in again, as her thumb brushes against Kara’s neck soothingly.

“Oh, um,” Kara swallows, wets her lips. It’s moments like these that sends Kara reeling. Moments like these, she thinks that there might be something about Lena, something that Lena feels for her. Her cheeks redden as Lena watches her closely, and she has to force her eyes to divert away to look at the time. “In fifteen.”

Lena looks at her in a certain kind of way and it feeds Kara hope and possibilities. Which makes Kara want to  _say_ something all the more.

This is why Kara doesn’t like thinking about it, has kept herself from doing so. It stirs her up and sends her into a spiral of an all-consuming confusion. Talking is the option, to find answers—Kara just needs to start it. And all Kara really wants is to tell Lena that - that she wants more, and —

Kara stills at the thought, eyes at Lena’s smile as she quickly thinks of something to distract her mind and heart from communicating.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Lena asks. Her hand on the juncture of Kara's neck and shoulder falls to her side and she tilts her head, regarding Kara once again. There’s a lot of eye contact going on right now and Kara definitely isn’t prepared for this. Kara isn’t prepared for a lot of things. “You seem a little off there—well, since yesterday, actually. Silence hangs between them.

Kara holds Lena’s gaze for a second, but it’s not too long before she has to look away again. She starts to step away from the stool then, not knowing full-well where she’s going to go. All she knows is that Lena’s eyes on her are too much now. Eyes always with that intensity glow in them, Kara feels seen—like her thoughts are on full display.

She touches her glasses. Before she can move away, there are fingers gently circling her wrist. Lena doesn’t tug at her arm, but when she feels Lena touch on her skin, Kara stops in her tracks. She turns a little, looks at Lena.

“Yes?” she asks. It comes out croaky and a little bit more snappy than intended, but really—she’s just embarrassed. At how she’s managing herself right now.

Lena stands up then, her fingers still around Kara’s wrist. 

“Kara? You didn’t answer my question.” Maybe it’s just Kara’s imagination, but she feels like they tighten their hold a little now, at the same time their eyes meet. Kara swallows down.

“Oh! Um, I guess I’m feeling a little off—only just a little, though. Sorry.” She wets her lips, flushes.

“Why?” Lena inquires, face quizzical. It’s soft, in a way that doesn’t make Kara feel like she’s being invasive. “Do you want to talk about it?” She’s smiling encouragingly, and Kara does not want to talk about it.

At least, not now. Not yet. She knows she’ll have to, sometime, about the recent thoughts brewing in her head. It’s not recent. Lena’s eyes on her are just too much right now.

The room feels overwhelmingly quiet, only the sounds coming from the streets hundreds of metres below them being heard only by Kara.

She takes in a deep breath, a shaky one. Takes the cup of coffee into her other hand. “I’m fine, Lena. Last night was great and fun. I think the morning just has me feeling woozy.” 

It’s not a lie. Kara’s still thinking about that  _one_ long shot glass Winn got for her. She shivers, just thinking about its smell and taste, the way it felt like fire in her insides.

“Okay,” Lena nods slowly, and doesn’t push any further. She’s always mindful and careful, and Kara loves her for that. But the slight faltering in her expression before she takes a step back from Kara doesn’t go by unnoticed. “Kara.”

Kara winces internally, but she’s thankful for the space.

“Thanks for the coffee and the night,” Kara mumbles. “I appreciate you a lot.” She gives Lena a quick hug before heading out early.

 

* * *

 

Things changed after that, almost imperceptibly or maybe things had always been changing and Kara had been too caught up in whatever they had to notice it. It wasn't just about sex anymore. It wasn't just thinking about  _‘wanting to’_ and taking and pleasure; counting the hours until she could have Lena. 

It’s become about  _wanting more_.

It stopped being about the loud moans and little gasps, it started to be about the soft, sleepy smiles, the wide amused laughs and the sated blinks and the soft, tender touches that feels like it means everything.

It’s not even a revelation, really. It’s not some stupid crush. She thinks about Lena all the time; she always wants to cuddle and sleep next to her, wake up to see her face every morning, misses her when she’s up soaring in the sky or stuck in her office typing her articles. More that Kara finally accepts something that has been dormant inside her—a seed, a bud—for years now. 

She is in love with her best friend. She’s stupidly, irrevocably in love with Lena Luthor. Just because it has finally, noticeably blossomed doesn’t mean it’s new.

Absolutely not.

It’s hard to pinpoint the exact moment where it all started. Trying to find the exact event that unchained everything that came after would be like looking for a needle in a haystack, attempting to find the first significant moment in a sea of significant moments. Being in love with Lena is so easy. Lena is easy to love, easy to be with. Maybe that is why it took this long for Kara to realize.

Kara is well aware of the fact that she is indeed an idiot. She knows this. She’s accepted this. Her friends know that she can be oblivious at times, can be extremely dense. It’s not an issue because she’s also very smart and perceptive. She’s great with forming strategic plans, knows her hard sciences (Krypton-based). She’s talented, receives respect and acknowledgement for her journalism.

She doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing with Lena.

Or she does know. Just that, everything that she’s doing with Lena means absolutely nothing. 

It’s a lot and it hurts. The worst part is, Kara wants Lena again. Of course she does. Maybe she can indulge her misery kink and just be as they are, go with the flow.

 

* * *

 

“Hey, Kara—wake up,” Alex calls to her, waving her hand right in front of her face. Kara snaps out of her self-induced daze then, taking in the pale skin of her sister’s wrist and sweat forming on her skin. “You okay there?”

“I’m good, yeah,” Kara replies, sitting up a little straighter. She tends to slouch when she zones out like this, her shoulders coming forward. “Sorry, I spaced out.”

“I can see that,” Alex says, a knowing smirk growing on her lips. Her sister shoots her a  _look_ as she wipes her forehead with a towel, breath heavy and body all sweaty. Kara blinks, realises that she'd lost complete track of the spar between Alex and Brainy, of all the blows exchanged. When she looks around, Brainy’s nowhere in sight anymore.

“Where’d Brainy go? I still have his legion ring,” Kara frowns, confused. The walls of the DEO training room is marked with lead, so it’s futile to look into them.

Truth be told, she zoned out the moment Alex and Brainy started sparring.

“Restroom break,” Alex says, before she consumes a portion of her water bottle. She sits next to Kara by the stairs with a pointed look, an eyebrow arched up. Kara remains indifferent, and Alex’s lips curl, teasing. “Thinking about  _her_?”

Kara rolls her eyes. She knew it was coming sooner or later. “I’m kinda hungry. Watching you guys spar made me hungry.”

Alex scoffs, incredulous. “You were barely paying attention, Kara.” She folds her arms and settles them over her knees. A shit-eating grin forms on her face as she shakes her head. “I can’t believe it. I  _knew_ it. So, you and Lena, huh.”

“Don’t get excited,” Kara groans, rubbing her neck. “No, before you get further on your I-knew-it, or I-told-you-so’s, we’re not actually  _like_ that, Alex.”

A beat later, and Alex squints. “What? Are you serious?”

There’s not much to say.

“Alex, there’s nothing going on between us. It’s been like this.”

“Wait, are you saying you guys are like - like  _that_?” Alex’s mouth opens, closes. “Holy shit. My sister and the Luthor—what. I never expected...” she hastily scoots closer towards Kara, and Kara just sits still, grimacing at her sister’s reaction. “You—you of all people! But  _why?_  How did it turn like that, how did it start? I need to know it all.”

“Well—”

“Wait!” Alex lifts a hand up in the air between them, waving it rapidly. She shakes her head, eyes squeezed shut. “Gross, no, never mind. I don’t actually want to know the details, but. What the hell, Kara? You—you two have been so sneaky. Hiding from my salad. I  _can’t_ believe it.”

“Yeah,” Kara shrugs, laughing weakly. “That’s the situation. It’s nothing worth noting about, really, so please don’t think too much about it.”

Her sister frowns then, and she looks like she’s about to go through the whole  _you’re not supposed to start the whole friends with benefits thing with your best friend_ speech like Nia did with Kara.

Yeah, Kara gets it, but she doesn’t regret it.

In moments like these, Kara thinks it’s safe to assume that she is a dumbass.

Thankfully, they’re interrupted by Brainy’s entrance before Alex could start her worried slash grilling talk.

“Alex,” Brainy says, voice almost sounding like a whine as he walks towards them. He’s moving his arm in a circular motion as if he’s all stiff and sore, with a hand on his shoulder. Tilting his head, he moves to rub on his neck. “I think you went too hard on me.”

“Seems so. You’re good, Brainy. You keep up with me.” Alex stands up then, snorts. She shoots Kara a pointed look, eyes narrowing with a tilt to her head before facing Brainy.

Their conversation is far from over, Kara can see that. She groans inwardly, knows that Alex will try to squeeze her dry, gathering all the details and information she can get. Again, there isn’t much to note about Lena and her. Kara’s already fucked up caught in her feelings—that enough has her feeling squeezed and miserable.

“For a human, you’re so strong. Much stronger than your average,” Brainy says, and utters a  _thanks_ when Alex hands him a water bottle.

“Yeah, Alex is really tough,” Kara says, standing up as well. She passes Brainy his ring, shooting him a smile. “I learned most of my close-combat techniques from her when I started being,” she shrugs, gesturing to herself, “Supergirl.”

“Oh, come on, stop complaining,” Alex chortles, bumping her shoulder with Brainy’s. “You already know how I fight, have seen me plenty of times considering how much we work together, and yet you act surprised and whine about it each time we spar.”

“I don’t whine,” Brainy frowns. “I’m just making comments about your level of skill. And how it leaves me feeling very sore each time I walk out of here.”

“With or without your legion ring, you’re still pretty badass,” Kara says, grinning in his direction. “I thought we’ve established this.”

“Why do you two keep assuming that I’m whining and—” Brainy pauses, crosses his arms. Alex laughs and reaches for her water bottle again, this time she downs the rest. “Never mind. Anyway, we have a new report—assignment.” He turns to face Kara. “We could really use your help on this one, Kara.”

“Oh.” Kara tilts her head, grins. “I’m always willing to lend a hand.”

 

* * *

 

Though their last conversation was left awkward and off, Kara continues to see Lena. Lena doesn't question, or bring up about that day, much to Kara's surprise. They meet and it’s normal between them. They talk about visiting a new cafe that opened up recently near L-Corp’s building and it’s normal. Lena visits and stays in her apartment until the next day and it’s normal. 

Kara doesn’t actually feel normal, not at all, but she tamps down her feelings and forces herself to act it, for the sake of their friendship and to keep going with whatever it  _is_ they are. She doesn’t want it to stop.

Some days she meets Lena more than once. Some days, Kara stays in. Some days, Lena stays in instead—one always at the other’s apartment.

Nothing has to change. 

It goes like that for another week. The following week after that, she doesn’t see Lena at all because she gets incredibly busy, simultaneously wrapped in writing and reporting, and rogue alien reports that has her soaring from country to country, investigating all malice intents.

It gets busy, and Kara slumps in her seat. She’s hungry and busy.

She glares at her article for a minute, pouting. Minimizes it, and sees an adorable sugar glider on her background screen. One of her coworkers saw this earlier the other day and she was judged for it. It was odd. Kara’s pretty sure she shouldn’t be judged for this—they’re cute. She pouts further.

Just as she’s about to continue working on her article, someone knocks on her apartment door.

The fresh smell of pasta hits her nose the moment she opens the door.

“Hey, sweetie,” Friendly Old Neighbour greets her pleasantly. She holds a large Tupperware.

“Oh. Hi!” Kara blinks in surprise, a grin breaking out in her face. She hasn’t seen the sweet, old woman in a while. 

“I made too much—this is for you.” 

Cheesy, cheesy pasta in the Tupperware. She takes it in her hand, smiling in appreciation.

“Thank you, this is really sweet of you. I was just working on my article, wondering what to eat for dinner!”

The old woman always brings her food randomly. She comes and goes, never lingering for too long in the doorstep. Kara’s learned to not question it anymore—she’s always so sweet to Kara. It makes Kara want to hug her all the time, but Kara’s pretty sure she’d break some bones there sometime if it were to become a habit.

“You’re welcome, love. My husband never eats enough, and I like to cook a lot.” Friendly Old Neighbour looks behind her, a suggestive smile spreading on her face. “Here and alone today?”

Kara smiles quizzically. “Yes?”

The old woman nods. “Oh, well I was going to suggest for you to share in case you bought that friend of yours there. I came to stop by a week ago but you weren’t here. Twice. I see that you come to your apartment less now.”

Oh, Rao. She’s talking about Lena. She doesn’t even know Lena—anything about her, but she’s smiling in a way that looks fond—for Kara.

Kara chuckles nervously. Assumptions.

“Sorry, I guess I was out,” she smiles and bows her head, apologetic. “I still live here, though.”

Friendly Old Neighbour nods again, grinning now. “Okay, well this old lady will stop bothering you now. Don’t let my cooking go into waste, sweetie.”

Kara huffs, smiles. “Never.”

 

* * *

 

It’s just past seven pm when Kara pauses at the sidewalk with two, fresh cups of coffee in hand.

The street lamps light up the long avenues, spilling over boulevards and into alleyways as the night falls on the city. Roads branching like veins throughout the city are full of cars and buses, of humans and aliens returning home from work with their tie loose and the first few buttons of their dress shirt undone.

National City pulses with neon warning signs about speed restrictions and red tail lights of cars, mostly taxis, waiting at crossroads. 

The city moves and breathes.

Kara waits for the light to turn red before crossing the road with dozens of people. She steps foot into a huge park, touches her glasses.

Lena waves at her from the bench the moment she spots Kara walking up towards her on the footpath.

“Kara. Hey,” Lena greets, a lovely smile already gracing her face. It’s the best part of the day. Kara feels her heart simultaneously soar and constrict.

She smiles. “Hi,” she says back. Lena accepts the cup of coffee she bought for her just ten minutes ago, and starts sipping on her own cup.

They begin to walk on a pathway. Kara throws a side glance at Lena, blushes despite herself. There’s the familiar red beanie. How and when did Lena manage to steal her beanie - Kara isn't sure, but Lena's currently wearing it over her head. Looking cozy and snug, like she owns it. Lena’s also sporting specs over her nose, velvet trench coat over her frame and black jeans.

Kara looks away, eyes down to the ground. “That’s my beanie,” she lightly accuses.

“Mm. You left it in my room a month ago,” Lena says. “What was I to do? It was calling for me to put it over my head today.”

“Well, now that it’s right in front of me…” Kara chuckles lightly, nodding her head. She remembers it. “Shouldn’t you give it back to me? I’m very possessive over that beanie.”

They pass through dozens of food stalls and street performances. It’s getting late, but the city still brims with activity and music and laughter all around.

“It took you over a month and for it to show up right in front of you to realize that it's been gone, Kara. So, maybe,” Lena says. Kara sees her shrug in her periphery. “Finders keepers.”

Kara huffs. “Oh, wow. ‘See how it is.” She takes a sip of coffee, mouth twisting into a pout.

“I’ve grown extremely fond of it during its one month stay in my room,” Lena says with a half-smile. “If you really want it back, come take it from my head.”

Kara rolls her eyes, bumps Lena by the shoulder lightly. Despite her complaints and pouting, and the given permission to take back what’s hers, she does not take it back.

Lena laughs fondly at the obvious outcome, her double dimples popping out. She links her arm with Kara's and they continue to walk along the footpath as the night turns into something more colder and biting. Out of the park, the familiar footbridge lies ahead of them. They chuck their cups into the rubbish before heading up to the footbridge.

The soft wind blows past them and Kara lets her thoughts wander. She sneaks glances at Lena every now and then.

Kara is not falling in love per se, despite what the movies and books tell her, the jokes her friends make. She's in love with her best friend, she knows this, but she also knows that their relationship didn't really go according to any book. Neither did her feelings. She's already neck-deep in it, caught up completely in the radiance of how it feels to be in love with Lena.

Sometimes they're best friends, something else, something more. Sometimes they're this, sometimes that—always just them.

By all means, she’s not hesitant about how she feels for Lena. She knows how she feels, but admitting it out loud is something entirely different. She still feels a little ashamed about that time when she was at Lena's a few weeks ago, and she'd panicked back then, trying to solve everything at once when she'd just come to terms with what's been happening. Now she's had some time for herself, feels calmer and relaxed, but no better than before in terms of her conflicting thoughts about Lena, and what she wants.

They come to a stop at the middle of the bridge, turning towards a side. Kara grabs the railings with both of her hands and takes a deep, wobbly breath. Looks ahead of them, below them—the cars, taxis, motorcycles, trucks—passing under them.

Kara spots a woman waiting at the intersection, sipping on a straw, glass filled with some green, mushy liquid, and —

“Eugh,” she whispers, squinting down below.

Lena makes a movement next to her. “What?” she breathes out an amused chuckle, following Kara’s train of sight.

“That woman over there is drinking kale smoothie, I think,” Kara says, nose scrunching as she turns to look at Lena. “Lena, she’s your kin.”

“ _Kara_ ,” Lena rolls her eyes, shaking her head with a smile. “Why must you continue to judge us like this? They’re nothing but delicious and healthy. Pros only, no cons.”

“And I continue to respectfully disagree.” Kara ignores the arch of Lena’s eyebrow—dissent obvious with the comment. Her stomach lurches, trying to imagine the taste. “It’s… they’re so  _green_ , Lena. It’s just very ew.”

“And how would you know that? You’ve never tried it.”

“I don’t need to try it to know if it’s good or disgusting,” Kara says. “There's no need. I just know it, deep in my gut. Trust your gut instinct, and all.”

“Mm, and this is all coming from a girl who dips fries into milkshakes and ice creams,” Lena says, head tilting with a quizzical grin on her face. “You’re lucky you’re cute. It’s the reason why I’m still here with you, standing beside you.”

“Wow! It’s better than it sounds, you know. No taste at all, Lena,” Kara blinks rapidly, an incredulous scoff coming from her mouth. “You,” she leans over to Lena. Stabs her finger against Lena’s chest.

“Unfollowed,” a poke in the chest, “unfriended, and—” she watches Lena dead in the eye, and too soon for her liking she breaks—the corner of her mouth tugging upwards already. “Uneaten. Yeah, that’s right. I’ll never eat you out again, because you’re disgusting and ungrateful.”

They manage to look at each other for a few seconds until they both dissolve into laughs, Kara leaning over even more as Lena pushes her with her shoulder, mouth tilting into a pout.

“Uneaten? That’s harsh,” Lena says. She gazes into the road, the fluorescent blinks of the streetlights dripping down on her. Kara is fond of the streetlights. They make Lena shine, glowing and ethereal in the dark.

Lena seems to notice her staring then—always so perceptive, always so in tune with each other. They pause to watch each other, smiling for the simple pleasure of being alone in each other’s company.

Kara takes a step forward and slowly wraps her arms around Lena’s shoulders, engulfing her into a tight hug.

Lena is sticky sweet like tree sap, attracting people effortlessly. At events and parties, Kara’s gotten used to watching from the corner as Lena sweeps the room up with her presence, eyes and attention all on her.

But nobody gets to touch Lena like she does.

Kara cups Lena’s face, touch tender. She takes in that lovely shade of green, always so completely mesmerized by it. Lena's eyes are big, her hands are big, her heart is, too. Kara flits over Lena’s face and settles on her lips, pink and parted.

A month ago, in this same exact spot, Kara remembers hesitating. Now, things are different, Kara thinks. 

(Things are more blurry than ever.)

“Lena,” she says. “Can I kiss you?” 

There are no red cheeks, no anxious ball inside her chest as she asks this. She's become used to Lena always wanting the same as her, but she asks anyway, just to see something. There is always something about the way Lena looks at her, with her brilliant emerald-green eyes. Her eyes are always on Kara's, but in a way that makes Kara feel… wanted. Special. The way in which Lena looks at her gives Kara the certainty that she’s not going to be rejected, turned down.

Lena holds Kara's gaze as Kara's thumb brushes Lena's cheek once, twice. It takes seconds before Lena gives a small nod, her lips parting, and Kara leans in. Their mouths meet softly, with Kara tilting her head before she pulls back. Lena follows her mouth when she pulls away, and Kara flushes at it, her thumb stroking Lena’s soft, pink lips.

“That was too short,” Lena whispers, hands gripping Kara’s arms.

“Short is good,” Kara chuckles quietly, still holding Lena close. Her gaze falls down when Lena licks her lips, obviously wanting more. Lena always wants more. Kara’s always willing to give her more. So she does, and grasps Lena’s chin before pressing their lips together.

They’ve been alone on the bridge for a while now. No one’s passed them, not counting the busy road below them. A glorious minute passes, just holding Lena in her arms, kissing her breathless. Soon after a moment, they find themselves smiling then, and their teeth clack, noses bumping and they’re laughing again.

It's nearing nine pm—they’d both just consumed coffee, and though the coffee doesn’t affect Kara one bit, she feels so awake and bright as if she’s just watched fireworks lighting up into the sky for the first time. Lena’s so radiant, eyes all squished up and touchy and shoulders shaking and Kara feels so soft, so happy, so loved. 

Footsteps along with conversation and laughter nears them and Kara separates from Lena. She remains close, leaning on the railing with Lena.

“We should head back soon,” Kara says.

“We should,” Lena agrees. “Soon.”

The rush of Lena’s hair against the soft wind reminds Kara once again of all things attracted to Lena, how the air and light treats her kindly, brightens her up from within and casts pink on the highs of her cheeks. 

Her best friend readjusts the red beanie on her head, long fingers slipping underneath the wool material over her forehead and drifts away, gaze tugging from Kara’s indifferent face to the dark sky. Lena, in the light from a city and a moon, is a study in muscle and smooth skin and bone structure. With one drop of self preservation left and five gallons of helpless adoration, Kara finds herself falling for Lena—it’s surely surpassed the thousandth time, and she’s alarmed by how endless it feels.

It’s dizzying and it’s just another reminder of how deeply fucked she is.

Kara wants to hold her. To kiss her. She can—she just did. But she wants so much. She doesn't know how to do this, how to not lean forward and whisper I like you, I want to kiss you, can we be a real thing?

Their relationship is just this: a constant blur. Blurry ever since she kissed Lena that night, months ago. Blurry because both wanted to continue this. Blurry because none of it is set in stone or set borders for, and Kara doesn't want to be the first one to want more and ask. Lena is not interested in more, that much Kara knows, but again she is doubtful sometimes—the growing question in Kara’s head is insistent in being solved.

What if Lena actually feels the same way? The way Lena acts around her, the way she talks, the way she regards and touches Kara. Kara doesn’t want to assume, or be arrogant in her thoughts, but it’s  _suspicious._

Emotions guide decisions so intensely, swapping rationality for the quick trigger of a gun; Kara knows it all too well, how easy it can be to make mistakes in the dark of night, emotions welling so deeply in your throat that it feels like you’re choking.

“Lena?” she starts.

“Hm?”

Kara takes a deep breath. She doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing with Lena, honestly. So she prods, hoping for something. 

“Um. I don’t know what we are, exactly.” She chuckles quietly, the sound coming off as stilted and uncertain. Even though she is nervous, she doesn’t mean to show it that easily. She bites her bottom lip, flushes.

Lena turns her head, eyes finding hers. “What do you mean?”

“I’m talking about us.” Kara touches her glasses, slips her hands inside her pockets. “Do you want to, um. Is there—” she pauses, rubs her hand on her face. Recollects herself. “I think I’m just feeling confused. Have been, actually. What are we?”

At first, Lena is quiet, but then she frowns.

“We’re friends,” Lena says, her answer sounding like a question and Kara understands; she sees how sudden and random it is to ask something like this. “You’re my best friend.”

“Yes, but I think,” Kara wets her lips, adjusts her glasses, “sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. Sometimes it feels like more, and. It might just be all in my head, but I feel like...” She shakily exhales, struggling to find the right word. “I don’t know—right now, we’re  _this_ , and it feels like  _this_ could lead to something—a change?”

Lena’s eyes widens for a second. “Change,” she echoes.

“Yeah, change,” Kara says. Her breathing is unsteady and she really hopes she isn’t showing herself too much. She wishes she could explain it in better detail, that she’s been seeing things differently in her head—that she’s a little hopeful, a little suspicious, but that would immediately raise red flags with Lena if things doesn't go the way she's hoping for. “One of us—I just. I think, what if…?” she trails off, gesturing in the air between them.

Lena doesn’t answer for a single, long moment. “I understand that what we’re doing—feelings happening here are a possibility,” she says slowly, voice quiet and steady in her approach. “And when feelings abound, it gets messy and awkward. You don’t have to worry about that with me, if that’s what you’ve been worrying about, Kara.” Lena watches her closely. “Awkward and messy. That’s what you mean, right?”

That’s not the answer Kara expects.

“You mean, you don’t—?”

“I don’t. What we have is just sex, Kara.”

“Just sex?” she asks. It’s all Kara’s capable of—repeating Lena’s words.

“Just sex,” Lena reiterates. “We’re not going to be together, Kara.”

Kara nods. She gets it. It’s not new… information.

“That’s what you meant, right?” Lena asks, voice softening. “You were afraid that this could lead to something more.”

It's not new information at all, but it still hits Kara really hard.

“I, ah…” Kara tries to keep her voice from wavering, trying her best to keep upright while her chest feels like it’s splitting open. She thinks she's probably not doing a great job at keeping a straight face right now, so she averts her gaze to someplace safer to gather herself. “Yeah… that’s it—that’s—yeah.”

Eyes downcast, she sees Lena’s knuckles turning white, losing color, thin skin stretching taut over sharp bones, fingers digging into cold metal. She’s facing Kara and has her side turned to the cityscape, to neon lights bleeding colours over the facades of rundown buildings.

Did Lena catch on something?

Kara feels like she’s choking on the atmosphere, the sight of Lena fearing something—on the possibility of Kara wanting more—that she has feelings for her. Is Lena afraid of that thought? It’s a lot, and the tension is suddenly thick it feels like a vice around Kara’s throat. 

It’s quiet, the silence heavy between them. “I think what we have is great,” Lena says quietly, sending Kara a small nod. “We don’t overwhelm each other. We don’t ask each other for anything more than we can give. Nothing needs to change. It’s simple—perfect.”

“Yeah,” Kara mumbles. Her words are failing her right now. It feels as if a truck, made and loaded with kryptonite has slammed into Kara’s body. The pain is stinging and sharp, straight in her chest. Lena continues to watch her closely, the pull of her emerald-green eyes intense and heavy.

“Yeah?”

Kara feels like she’s being questioned,  _tested —_ isn’t this supposed to be the other way around? Rao, is Lena really starting to figure her out? She needs to keep it together.

“Yeah,” she says, this time with resolute and a firm nod. Only because she wants this conversation to end now. 

But unfortunately Lena doesn’t feel it should end yet. The other woman’s features twist—impossibly inscrutable and cautious in a way, and that’s when Kara knows she’s hit Lena with something.

Her eyes bore into hers like she can see right through Kara and she’s afraid, terrified of what’s going through Kara’s head. The silence stretches on and Kara doesn’t like it—it makes her feel like her feelings are just out there on display, that she might be as transparent and vulnerable as she feels right now.

If Lena knows anything, if she notices any sort of hints in the way Kara acts or the things she says, she doesn’t show it. Instead, she just lifts her hand up, covering her front with her coat, when a gust of cold wind whisks past them.

Kara breathes unsteadily. She looks down on her feet, looking for a new distraction and desperately trying to think of a new topic.

“Kara,” Lena’s mouth opens and closes, hesitates. “It doesn’t feel like we’re on the same page. Does it get too much for you?” she asks then, and dread boils deeply in Kara’s gut. “Kara… we can stop—”

“No,” Kara roughly cuts her off, shaking her head rapidly. She does  _not_ want to stop, Rao no. “No, no. It’s all fine. It’s not too much, Lena.” At this, Lena simply looks at her, obviously waiting for her to elaborate, to disclose her side more, but Kara isn’t sure what to say.

“Kara? What’s going on in that head of yours,” Lena asks, voice low and gentle, but it does nothing to help ease Kara at all. Her face softens. “Talk to me?”

“There’s really not much to say,” Kara shrugs. “I was just feeling confused about where we stand—it’s simple, you explained it well.” She pauses, swallows the hard lump in her throat. “We’re just best friends, nothing more than that and we don’t—we don’t overwhelm each other. That’s good—it’s great. I’m sorry I was thinking of other things, kind of jumping to conclusions, too... and got a little confused for a bit. Nothing’s going to happen. Obviously.”

Lena’s eyebrows furrows. “There’s no need to apologize, it’s okay. Now that you mention it, we've discussed other topics and matters, but not  _this_.” The lack of set borders, being off-limits. Lena lets out a quiet sigh, breath coming out foggy into the cold night air. Her hold on the railing loosens. “I understand why you got confused. Our relationship isn’t exactly your typical… one.” Fuck buddies. Oh, Kara knows how far off they are with that. “Kara, I never want you to feel confused about anything, or feel like there’s something you have to give.”

“I’m not confused anymore, Lena,” Kara nods. She returns Lena’s gaze until she can’t anymore, turns back to the road ahead of them. She takes a deep breath, then another one. “Thank you for clearing that up.”

“There are no expectations here,” Lena adds.

“No expectations,” she whispers. “Yeah.” That’s right. Jaw clenching, she keeps her mouth shut, afraid she’ll say something wrong, or ask something that’ll make things worse or more awkward than it already is. 

Lena breathes out a sigh, sounding like heavy relief—the tension from her shoulders visibly disappearing. It makes Kara feel worse. Fuck, she didn’t mean to make her feel uncomfortable. Kara wants to die. It’s overwhelming, everything. She feels the impending need to cry right now, but she doesn’t want to let herself do so, not in front of Lena. 

She’s embarrassed enough. What was she even hoping for?

It’s quiet for several minutes, their gazes turned back to the city view.

In Kara’s periphery, Lena makes a movement. She turns to see—Lena looks like she’s thinking about saying something before she reaches out to grab Kara’s hand gently.

Lena's looking at her again, that searching kind of look, and Kara wishes she knew what Lena was looking for.

“Kara, let's head back?” Lena says in a low voice, almost a whisper, and Kara feels it like a blow. Feels it too strongly for what it is, for what they’re supposed to be. Feels the stinging in her eyes and feels stupid about it.

“Yeah, okay,” she manages, trying to keep herself under wraps. Stupid. So stupid.

 

It’s quiet, the walk back to the penthouse. Not too awkward, but it’s not a companionable silence either. Thoughts run wild in Kara’s head—she’s too caught up in her head thinking and heavily berating herself that she doesn’t realise they’re already standing in front of Lena’s penthouse.

They face each other, one waiting for something to happen. Or maybe that’s just Kara. The silence drags.

Lena licks her lips, eyes flitting over Kara’s face. A nervous tic Kara knows too easily well. Why is she nervous now? Maybe Kara did show too much tonight.

“Do you want to come up?” Lena says. Kara’s mouth tilts into a slight frown. “I bought new tea—it’s a flavour we haven’t tried out yet,” Lena adds.

Shit. Fuck. She wants to say yes. She wants to say no.

When she opens her mouth to answer, she finds herself uttering, “Sorry, um. I think I’ll pass, I have articles that need to be written, waiting for me at my desk.” 

It’s true, she has work to do, and she needs to finish them. It’s not the full truth or reason, but it’s the truth nonetheless. A breathing space is needed right now, away from Lena for a little bit because Kara just feels so tired and everything right now feels like jagged hard angles. There’s nowhere soft to rest, no direction to lean that won't hurt, no space to let her ribcage expand when she tries to draw in a breath.

Lena’s boots make a quiet scuffle against the concrete. “That’s okay. Work is important.”

She watches Kara silently as Kara checks the time on her phone. Analyzing. Maybe she’s already figured Kara out. If so, Kara isn't sure there's anything left for Lena to figure out. Lena has never been the most open between them, but she's never hidden anything from Kara. Not even when she should have.

They're standing in place but Kara feels like she's tipping. Thankfully, Lena takes a step back and nods. Darkness surrounds them, one lamplight flickering brokenly near them. 

“Goodnight, Lena,” Kara says softly, hands stuffed inside her pockets. Her eyes burns, watering.

“Goodnight, Kara,” Lena replies quietly.

The reality of the situation is that they’re best friends, and nothing more. They aren’t going to get together. Lena doesn’t want change—she likes the way things are. She was clear, wasn’t she? She told Kara what she already knew. It was clear from the beginning.

Realistically, Kara knew about it. She knows she has no reason to feel disappointed or even disillusioned because Lena has always been honest and straight-forward with her.

But what her brain is able to reason and what her heart feels are very different things. She feels humiliated and embarrassed—embarrassed by the fact that somewhere in the back of her mind she still had hope—allowed herself to have it. Hope; the sneaking suspicion that Lena might actually feel the same way. 

Lena isn’t interested in her like that, not even a bit.

Things are clearer and she doesn’t have to wonder foolishly anymore. 

Kara understands this now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well that happened!  
> Twitter: [coffeeshib](https://twitter.com/coffeeshib)  
> I only just started using tumblr recently again here's my[tumblr](https://coffeeshib.tumblr.com) if anyone wants to catch me there


	9. Chapter 9

 

Heartbreak is not something that Kara ever thought much about. Kara doesn’t mean this in a way that might make it seem like she’s too good to get her heart broken. Her mind has just never wondered what the pain of a broken heart is like, because she’s never been in the position where she’s felt like there was a risk of it being broken.

Until now.

_We’re not going to be together, Kara._

Kara had only been looking at things from her own perspective, mostly. She only saw and translated the parts she wanted to see. It was ridiculous, allowing herself to hope—ignoring what Lena has been telling her from the beginning.

She sees it now, that Lena doesn’t want her like she wants Lena, and she’s probably never going to want to.

Lena doesn’t want her now, and she’s never going to want her. It’s a hard pill to swallow, and Kara feels her chest shatter just at the mere thought of it, but it’s the absolute truth.

During the next few days, her conversation with Lena is all that Kara can think about. She replays it in her mind when she’s about to head out to work, echoes it again and again when she pulls the blanket up and closes her eyes. Her thoughts always wanders to it. _We’re not going to be together, Kara,_ she had said.

It throws her in for a loop, throws her at the curve without warning, and she’s left scrambling to find her footing.

The thing is, Kara knows whatever she feels, Lena does too: the intensity and the lightness, the friendship and the overwhelming need to touch and to taste and to feel. Ultimately, though, Lena only sees her as a best friend.

Feelings can’t be forced.

So if that’s all Lena thinks they are, then that’s all they must be.

 

* * *

 

“Kara Danvers,” Alex calls, bumping Kara’s shoulder with a cup of fresh coffee in hand. She stands next to Kara, who is sat on her carpeted floor. “Why are you avoiding Lena?”

Kara looks up. From this angle, Alex looks intimidating—she always looks intimidating—her free hand on her hip as she gives Kara a curious look.

“Yeah, Kara,” Nia chimes in, looking up from her laptop. She crosses her legs on the couch, eyes at Alex and Kara who are just a small distance away. “Alex knows what’s up.”

“I’m not,” Kara answers. She plays with her phone on her lap, twirling it around. “How did you come to that conclusion?”

“ _Really_?” Alex scoffs, scooting over next to Nia on the couch. She wiggles her toes, pokes at Kara’s back until Kara groans, moving away on the floor. “Nia, tell her of the events that transpired today.”

“Kara made me go to L-Corp to hand in some CatCo paperwork stuff to Lena,” Nia starts, eyes squinting as she tilts her head. Huffing through her nose, she looks at Kara with a _look_. “You were supposed to do that, and let me tell you I had to wait and sit for a long time at the lobby while waiting for Jess to come back from her break to inform Lena that I needed to see her. Lena wasn’t answering her phone, so that wasn’t working out for me.”

“Oh...”

Nia shrugs. “Unlike you, not everyone has free access to Lena’s floor. Oh, and Alex was already there consulting with Lena about DEO-related work when I was allowed up. Then afterwards, Alex and I ended up going for a coffee break, chatting about the two dumbasses in our lives.”

Kara blinks. “Wait, _excuse_ me? Dumb— _dumbasses_? Lena's not...”

Listen, Kara wholeheartedly agrees that she is indeed a dumbass, but Lena is certainly not one. Naturally, she takes offense in Lena’s stead.

“You’re excused,” Nia quips easily, and Kara frowns.

Alex rolls her eyes and carefully places her cup in front of her crossed legs. “You still haven’t told me what’s been going on with you and her.”

“That’s because there’s nothing much going on between us, Alex,” Kara says. “Like I said before.”

Kara sighs, swallows down. She hasn’t been talking to Lena as much, that’s true, but she wants to… put some distance between them. Kara had to turn Lena down when she asked about wanting to meet up for some lunch dates through text messages, and a couple of days later, turned down a late night walk—the weekend night walks they usually do once every week or two.

She’s aware that what she’s doing is a little childish, and that she really should give Lena some concrete explanations as to why she’s been… dodging a little. Instead she’s been telling Lena that she’s busy, catching up with work (which are _not_ lies, workload has increased, she’s always on her feet or behind her desk, always with things to do).

Ever since a week ago by that bridge, Kara’s been trying to sort herself together. It’s not pure avoidance by any means. She sees Lena enough already, a few _can’t do_ ’s with Lena is fine and normal, and Lena understands this, knows this. They’re both busy women.

She just needs some time for herself, some time away to think, to let herself fall out of love with Lena. However, Kara knows that is impossible. If she has Lena beside her, as lovely and as wonderful as ever, Kara knows that won’t ever happen.

What she’s doing is pointless, she knows, but she doesn’t have an answer for anything. It's all she can do for now—licking her wounds after falling face-first to the ground, stricken merciless by the reality back in that bridge. Nursing her wounds from last week’s rejection: a little distancing.

Some time to get back up.

“I’m sorry, Nia,” Kara says, sincerely, eyeing at the steam from Alex’s mug before looking at Nia in the eye. “I wasn’t in the mood to go out, and I was too in the zone with the tasks I had at the time. You were free, but I owe you one.”

“Kara…” Nia has a contemplative frown on her face. “You guys are still like this? You and Lena aren’t dating—trying not to date,” she says. “It’s truly maddening to my eyes. Seriously, man, and I’ve only been with you guys for like a year or so.” She turns to look at Alex and snorts. “Imagine how tired Alex is.”

“What?”

“There’s something missing here that you’re still not telling me about, kiddo,” Alex clucks her tongue, stretches her leg shamelessly again to reach down to the floor, and jabs her toe into Kara’s abdomen.

“Alex— _come on_ , ew,” Kara hisses, instantly moving away to sit on the other sofa this time, away from Alex’s reaching distance. She takes a deep breath—she can tell others, but absolutely not Lena. “Okay. I have feelings for Lena, and Lena, evidently, does not feel the same way for me.”

As she says this, it hits her then. She’s never said this out loud. The thought makes her feel queasy.

She’s not hesitant about her feelings. It’s just—a lot, to say it out loud.

“There we go!” Alex throws her hands in the air, exasperated. “Are we kidding! After years of tiptoeing around, one finally admits that she has feelings for the other.” She pauses sharply then, scrunches her face and regards Kara closely. “Wait, what do you mean Lena doesn’t feel the same way? You talked to her?”

“You _talked_ to her? Yeah, how do you know?” Nia almost stumbles forward in her seat, looking at Kara with wide eyes. “So, talked _talked_?”

“Well,” Kara expels a heavy sigh. “You mentioned earlier, Nia, you said that I don’t go for it. Things. Relationships,” she half-shrugs, moistens her lips with her tongue as she draws over her lap with her finger idly.

“Yeah?” Nia presses on.

“For the first time, I tried going for it. And, well, I was instantly shut down before I could get my point across when I asked Lena if there’s any possibility of there being an 'us’ here. Me hinting towards wanting more, but more like asking if she sees anything between us, something possible. She froze at the idea and shut it down so fast as if she couldn’t take the idea at all… and all I could do was nod and agree as she explained how perfectly fine we are right now—with the state of our…” Kara's brows furrows as she searches for the right word. “I don’t know, relationship? Casual thing? Just, without any expectations from each other.”

The two women that sit across her are silent for a single, long moment.

Kara winces and scratches her eyebrow. Earth is different from Krypton. Here, she has spent all of her life listening to people talk about connections. It’s all over movies and books—how some people meet and, suddenly, they’re each other’s _it_. She watches Nia and Alex, thinks about their _its._ Kelly and Brainy.

She’s happy for them.

Alex’s mouth parts open as she takes this in, her eyes flitting over Kara’s face.

“That can’t be.”

“Oh, shit,” Nia utters under her breath, frowning as she crosses her arms. “Wow, I’m speechless. Lena? Seriously. She really doesn’t—?”

“No,” Kara confirms, gaze averted to the floor, away from their faces. She shrugs, waving her hand in the air to prevent the pitying looks. “It’s fine. It’s cool.”

“No, it’s not fine,” Alex says, leaning forward in her seat. “Kara, I really thought Lena had the hots for you, you know—for years. God, I swear—” she pauses, and takes a moment before shaking her head. A sigh. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah, same,” Nia nods, running her hand through her hair. “I’m so confused.”

“I’m not anymore.” Kara looks up then, and fiddles with her jacket. “Lena isn't the problem. It’s okay, I’ll be fine. I can take no for an answer. She likes being just friends.”

“Okay… but all this doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, Kara,” Alex says, lips thinning, obviously displeased by this. She sends Kara a deep worried look, her eyes going impossibly wide. Kara looks away again—she hates worrying her people so much. Especially if it’s over stuff that she’s brought on herself.

“It’s okay,” she tries again.

Alex’s frown deepens. “How you look right now says otherwise.”

“And how do I look like?”

“Like a kicked puppy. I’m not kidding when I say this, but you are the epitome of a puppy—a Golden Retriever if you will, and when you get all sad and hurt? The kicked puppy look is devastating.”

“I know right,” Nia sighs, cringing.

Kara can’t help but crack a small smile at that, Lena once compared her to a Golden Retriever.

Alex quirks a brow up, unamused by the events.

“But Kara, what makes you think Lena wouldn't know by now about how you feel after asking such a thing. I don't know about you, but if I were in a friends and benefits relationship with someone and they asked me that, I'd be suspicious.” Nia asks. “We're talking _Lena_ here... she's sharp, perceptive, etcetera.”

“I think about that too, really. But it doesn't seem like she really knows? Suspects, maybe. We would be having a different conversation right now if she did.”

“You’re hurting yourself and it’s not fair to Lena either,” Alex says. “So you're going to keep this up with Lena?”

Rubbing at her neck, Kara stares at her lap. It’s easier to play nonchalant like this, with less eye contact.

And about what Alex just said—that’s exactly the problem.

Lena is an upfront, incredibly careful person. She never wants to hurt Kara in any way. The moment Lena knows, Kara knows that Lena will put a stop to and end their physical relationship immediately. Lena’s like that. Cut-throat and smart. She doesn't do messy. She doesn’t bury problems and lets it grow, fester. She puts a stop to it and fixes it, head on.

Kara doesn’t want to stop this with Lena—isn’t prepared to, either. Call her a little selfish, she just wants to at least have this if she can’t have Lena. She sighs again, running her hand through her hair. Her brain is raw from turning the same thoughts and problems over and over in it, and she’s tired.

Lena’s never going to give Kara her heart, Kara knows that.

“Yeah, I just… I don’t know. I don’t want to stop. Whatever Lena wants to give me? That’s what I want, I’ll take what I can get,” she replies.

 

* * *

 

It’s very late at night when Kara walks into the DEO main room.

Only a few agents are present, walking and murmuring about wanting their shifts to end already. Winn is seated behind his desk, his computer screen glowing brightly in front of him.

“Hi,” Kara says behind him, and he startles visibly, scrambling to minimize his game on his computer. “Very subtle, Winn.”

“Kara!” Winn sharply turns around and almost falls off his chair. “Why! You know I scare easily. Not cool, man.”

“Sorry,” Kara chuckles, grinning at her friend. “I just wanted to see your reaction.”

Winn groans, crossing his arms as he shrinks on his seat. His gaze tugs from Kara’s smiling face to the muted TV over by the wall. “Hey, great work on solving that months old case of that elusive crime group today.” He rubs his eyes, tilts his head. “Uh. Why are you here? Not that I don’t like seeing your face here, but yeah. You didn’t have to come back here after such a long day. Missed something?”

“Nope,” Kara says, leaning on his desk. “I just wanted to drop by before I finish for the day to say hi and make sure you weren’t falling asleep. Here you are, with that block game thingy.”

Winn narrows his eyes, pouts at the way Kara called his game.

“ _Finish for the day_. Well, you’ve been flying in and out of several countries, spent way too much time calming down and talking to these whiny, ignorant politicians, fighting groups of ill-causing aliens.” Winn rolls his eyes and yawns loudly, stretching his limbs. He squints at Kara. “It’s not just today, but you’ve been doing a lot of work for the past few weeks. How you’re able to do this side of work for years now while juggling CatCo work successfully—I’ll never understand, man.”

Kara hums, rubbing her tired, weary eyes. She eyes at the small mountain stack of snacks next to Winn’s keyboard. “I like being productive.”

“Ugh. All my friends have the most craziest working hours. I started working with Lena on some of her projects recently. You probably already know, but she’s been working on some huge stuff lately.” Winn pauses then, blinks at Kara with a curious look. “What?”

“What?” Kara says back.

A nasty smirk spreads across his face. “The way your ears perked up just now, and your face. Ooh, so suddenly alert.” He snorts and takes a sip of his coffee, his mouth curling behind the mug.

Kara rolls his eyes. She knows what Lena’s been up to, of course, because even if she hasn’t been seeing Lena as much lately in person, they message each other through texts and calls. “Anyways, Winn. The truth is,” she says, and yanks two chocolate bars from his mini mountain snack, “I only came to take some of these.”

“Oh, _okay_ ,” Winn huffs, feigning petulance, “so, you didn’t actually come to see me, my snacks are what attracted you to come here.” There’s a smile on his face as he fails at pretending to be sulky over stolen snacks.

Kara laughs and already starts walking away, two fingers up in salutation as she faces his direction.

“Good to see you, Winn. Have a goodnight.”

 

* * *

 

Kara doesn't mean to decline another lunch date with Lena. It happens accidentally, when her thumb accidentally touches the send button on her phone after contemplating whether to answer with a yes or no for the past half an hour. The message is sent, _can't today, another time, Lena?_ and she shrinks in her seat.

That's the third time she's turned Lena down, and she's going to make sure that that will be the last. It's not okay to continue like this.

She almost startles in her seat when the phone in her hand buzzes.

“Alex,” Kara says, with her phone pressed to her cheek. She looks out to CatCo’s huge windows to see how bright the morning is today. “What’s up?”

“Kara, hey,” Alex says, sighing. “Look, I know we have sisters night planned later today but some things came up. Important tasks I need to tend to this evening…”

“Oh,” Kara blinks. “No, that’s okay, Alex. We can move it to another day.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I’ll compensate by buying twice the food. Also, you can pick the movie this time.”

Kara smiles, spinning her pen around her fingers. “Awesome. You can’t complain about what I pick, though.”

“Hey, I said you can pick but complaining is within my rights,” Alex retorts, snorting as she crunches on something over by the line.

It’s quiet for several seconds until Kara speaks. “So, I’ve been thinking.”

“Thanks for letting me know, I get worried when you don’t keep me updated,” Alex says, laughing at the way Kara sighs with a groan.

“Stop it. I’m being kind of serious,” Kara says.

“Okay. What have you been thinking about?”

“Things. Situations. I don’t know what to think,” she chuckles wryly, and stops spinning her pen. “It’s about Lena. Recently, sometimes I think I don’t know how to act around her anymore. I mean, not in that literal kind of sense, I'm just adjusting to how I feel now, as we have this... casual thing going on between us. Things just feels difficult when we're... we're like _this_ and _that..._ but ultimately we’re just best friends. She made sure we’re just friends, and that’s all we’re going to be. Best friends.”

“That’s because you want more, Kara.”

“I know that, but…”

The line is quiet until she hears Alex sigh.

“The way I see it, you guys have always been a little more than just best friends,” Alex says, after a moment. “But both of you refuse to acknowledge it, to define it, and just squish everything and stick to that simple, safe term. Honestly, I don’t understand how you two work, but I’m not blind.”

“I don’t know about that,” Kara sighs. “But the fact remains that the feelings here are one-sided.”

Alex sighs, too. They fall into silence.

Then, “Being more than just friends,” Kara echoes her sister’s words a moment later. “If that’s how you’ve been seeing it, then it’s been like that for a long time between us. But you know, I hadn’t understood that for a while—the whole ‘more than just friends’ phrase.” She takes a moment for herself, chuckles sardonically. “I’m platonically in love with like, everyone.”

The line is quiet for several seconds until Alex huffs. “Wow. Hearing that, suddenly it makes so much sense to me now, with how _you’ve_ been seeing it.” Kara hears her sister sigh fondly and she imagines Alex shaking her head with a smile. “And it only took you what... only five years and copious amounts of sex with your best friend to realize that you’re in love _in love_ with Lena?”

Kara pouts. “Alex. When you say it like that it sounds utterly ridiculous.”

“That’s because it _is_ ,” Alex says. “It’s okay, though. You can be slow sometimes, but that’s fine, Kara.”

It’s absolutely not fine at all.

Even if she had realized it much earlier on, the outcome remains the same. Lena doesn’t want her like that, and she’s never going to want to.

“I like what we’re doing. I just don’t want my feelings to mess things up.”

When feelings abound, it gets messy and awkward, Lena had said to her.

“Doesn’t it… hurt too much? To know that she doesn’t want anything else?” Alex asks. Kara gulps.

“Of course it does. But there’s nothing that can change that—she doesn’t want anything else, and I need to accept that,” Kara replies, repeating the words she’s been telling herself for a week now, just this time out loud.

“Then… why keep this up? Why have sex?”

Kara can’t help but blush in her seat furiously, reminding herself that she’s discussing _this_ with her sister—the nature of her relationship with Lena.

“Not having sex with her wouldn’t make it hurt any less, either,” Kara says. “Plus, at least… I can have her like this. It’s better than nothing. Like I said earlier, Alex? Whatever Lena wants to give me… I’ll be happy with it.”

Alex hums, understanding. Then she sighs. “I’m sorry, Kara. I don’t have the answers for you. I’ve been telling you to end it, but apparently you’re one of those useless, pining-after-her-best-friend gals, and I get exactly how it hits.”

“Wow?” Despite feeling down, it draws a quiet chuckle from Kara. “Attacked by my own family. Ouch.”

Alex sighs. “You know it’s just going to hurt even more like this.”

“I'll just see.”

Kara knows that Alex is right. Is she? Probably. But she’s too… stubborn, hung up on Lena. Can she be blamed? She gets to have Lena like this. She gets to kiss her, run her hands up and down her body, hold her close. Kara wants Lena, and like this, she has her. It's not easy to give her up, even if it's to protect her own heart. Kara scrubs a hand over her face, sighs deeply. When she catches the time on her phone, her eyes widen.

“Golly, it’s—Alex. I gotta go, I have a meeting soon.”

Alex chuckles. “Go, don’t let me hold you. Call me if you ever need to talk, yeah?”

“Of course. Thank you, Alex.”

 

* * *

 

Kara has always thought herself to be invincible even when it comes to overworking herself whilst having her powers intact. Because she's a Kryptonian, and Kryptonians are far from similar to humans when it comes to the feeling of tiredness and the need to catch up on sleep and rest.

Her body is perfectly fine and in good shape, if not feeling a little sore. But her mind, she is utterly exhausted from all the travelling and emergencies she’s been having to tend to lately these past weeks including her work at CatCo.

Past through the smoky air, cars honking and people noisily fluttering around the area, she runs a hand down her face and steadies herself on the steel railing. Alex and five DEO agents handcuffs three aliens—the three aliens that almost drained her powers during the battle just then. They are incredibly strong, Kara has noted, and she recognizes them from Fort Rozz’s archive of criminals—the _strongest_ amongst the strongest.

But something’s wrong—one is missing in their quad group. Kara has been looking around for the alien since she successfully subdued these three, but there’s been no luck. The alien is faster than the three, smarter. He had escaped before she could catch him.

She breathes through her mouth shakily, looks down at her dirty hands gripping the rail, then looks back up to see Alex giving her a scrutinizing look. It’s only been a few hours since her sister called her this morning.

 _We’ve got this, go home and rest_ , Alex mouths to her with a sorry-smile over the sea of civilians, reporters, police.

Kara nods.

 _Home_ , Kara thinks, as she shoots up into the sky. That sounds so good right now. Sleeping for a long long time under a large, soft blanket. She can do that.

She lands with a heavy _thud_ to the floor, shaky legs following after as she takes further steps inside. She has always thought herself—her body to be invincible even when she’s being overworked until moments like these, when all she can think about is laying down on something soft and warm. Sleeping for a long time, uninterrupted.

Energy drained as she staggers her way forward, she doesn’t bother to change herself and just flops down heavily onto the couch, closing her eyes.

Then the next thing she registers is a gentle hand on her face. Kara opens her eyes groggily, sees a familiar pair of brilliant green eyes.

Abruptly she sits up straight, fumbles around and sees that it’s already dark from the balcony windows.

This isn’t her apartment.

“I—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to randomly crash on your couch,” Kara says, face and neck heating as she rubs on the back of her neck. She wipes her chin experimentally, hoping she didn’t drool in her sleep.

Lena is crouched down with one knee on the floor, and her hand lays itself on Kara’s thigh. Worry filters on her face as she wears a small, slightly amused smile on her lips.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind at all,” Lena says, voice quiet and soft, and shakes her head. “I just got back and saw you sleeping on the couch. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Kara bites the inside of her cheek, flushes. “It seems I fell asleep as soon as I sat down. Oh! I still have my suit on… I guess it’s been a bit of a long day for me.”

“I saw. The three Fort Rozz aliens? Indeed you did.” Lena watches her closely. “Everything okay now?”

Kara nods. She glances down at Lena’s body, sees that she’s in her work attire, and back up to see her eyes, looking tired but warm.

Then remembers that she came to the wrong apartment and her entrance was pretty out of nowhere and sudden for Lena.

“Uh, right. I, I should go—”

“Oh. N-No, wait,” Lena says quickly.

But Kara makes the movement to get up, and when she does so she sways. Lena’s quick to hold her shoulders, keeping her into place. “Just… stay for a bit. It’s okay to rest here, Kara.”

Lena’s eyes are fixed on hers, and Kara looks around, thinks of protesting. Lena sighs.

“Let’s just get you out of that suit and I’ll get you into something more comfortable. Does that sound okay?”

Kara knows it’s useless to turn Lena down, or to find a way to get out of this mess. She’s just embarrassed, really. She mistook her apartment with Lena’s _and_ fell asleep on Lena’s couch with her smeared suit and dirty boots on.

Rao. Lena dislikes messy.

“Okay, then… um, I’ll clean your couch tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Lena gets up, but not before she takes one last good look at Kara. It only takes Lena a short moment before she comes back with some clean clothes piled over her arms.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” Kara says, scrubs a hand down her face. “You just got back from work. And it’s late, and that means you took extra time to work, and—”

Lena arches an eyebrow up as she kneels in front of Kara once again, handing her her clothes. “You’re never a bother to me. What’s with all the apologizing, darling? We’re past that.”

Honestly, Kara isn’t sure. She shrugs, not knowing what to say. She didn't expect to be here in her penthouse, to see Lena right in front of her today.

A strange tension builds in the room.

There’s this odd, unusual air around them that Kara’s created ever since that night at the bridge. She knows it’s her doing, knows that Lena feels it too as she sees the hesitancy in Lena’s movements, the nervous ticks in her eyes.

Lena sees it for sure, because she just expels a soft sigh, shakes her head. Neither wants to bring up that slight shift between them.

“Let's just get you to my bed after you get yourself changed, okay? Or do you need help with changing,” Lena asks, a teasing lilt to her voice, lightening the mood.

Kara flushes.

“I’m not even injured, just sleepy-tired,” she murmurs before nodding at Lena, standing up with the clothes over her arms with a grateful, sheepish smile. “Um. I think I’m going to use your showers first.”

“Go ahead.”

 

-

 

Kara stares at the ceiling, her arms and legs spread wide, taking most of the space in Lena’s bed. Why didn’t she opt to leave after waking up? She doesn’t exactly need to stay here.

Lena’s too nice. Too kind, too caring, too lovely —

She takes a deep breath, shudders as she closes her eyes.

Lena walks in then, wearing a lightweight black robe. It’s wrapped around her body loosely enough that it shows a great deal of pale skin, especially in the front. Back turned towards Kara, she reaches for the drawer and places her contact lens case in.

“Scoot over,” Lena says, as she places a knee on the edge of the bed. Kara fights to keep her eyes up and rolls herself over, giving Lena her space.

“I napped for five hours. Slept, actually,” Kara says, sitting up with her legs crossed, facing Lena. “Your couch is amazing, I think. It’s been a while since I got decent sleep.”

“Yeah?” Lena chokes out a light laugh, the lovely sound wrapping tightly around Kara’s ribs, sending a slow tingle down Kara’s spine. Lena pushes her hair back, her black curls dangling over her shoulders as she settles herself beside Kara.

Lena has the best laugh around. Kara isn’t biased at all, she knows for a fact that no one has a better laugh than Lena. Whether it’s soft chuckles, or deep, huffed out laughs. Whether it’s loud and resounding, taking over her whole body, or silent and only present in her eyes.

It’s one of the reasons Kara fell in love with her.

Kara swallows. She looks away.

“Are you having troubles with sleep?”

“Not really, it’s just my work stuff has me too occupied lately and my bed dusting. And yeah, Lena. Cool couch, it’s crazy how it’s only just now that I realize its true greatness. I might steal it, so watch out.”

“Stealing high-end couches from suspecting CEO’s now, are we? Sure, Kara,” Lena says, and when Kara turns to look at her again, she’s graced with a smile. It’s the kind of smile that lights up whenever Kara says something weird or ridiculous, and it amuses Lena so, and then Lena goes around looking suspiciously _endeared_. “Though, I’m not sure what kind of headlines will pop up if anyone successfully snags a shot of Supergirl carrying a couch in the sky.”

“There won’t be any,” Kara laughs, scrunching her nose. “I’m fast and I can be super sneaky when I want to be.”

Lena rolls her eyes. Fond. It makes Kara want to lean forward and kiss Lena until her mouth falls off.

In another world, Kara reaches over and cradles Lena’s face, kisses her nose, her mouth, and whispers _goodnight, I love you_ , but here she just smiles back, fingers drumming on her thighs as she sits still.

Lena’s still looking at her and Kara feels her head tilting, an inquiring smile forming across her lips.

“What?”  
  
“Go to sleep?” Lena says, mirroring her quizzical smile. “Lie down and sleep, you need to rest more.”

“I just slept for five hours. I feel kinda wide awake right now,” Kara replies, leaning on the headboard as she recrosses her legs. “Maybe climb onto my lap and give me a goodnight kiss and I’ll feel sleepy again, or something.”

Internally, Kara chastises herself. But she can’t help but be like this with Lena. Not when Lena is the way she is, who is always easily amused by Kara, always easily endeared, and Kara loves it, lives for it. But now it always comes with an ache in her chest, because this time Kara knows her place. Knows that that’s just it going for her. Knows that it’s also okay to be in love with her best friend even though it hurts, and knows how to keep it okay between them.

 _Understands_ , she means. No, she’s still understanding this, learning to squish her feelings down down down into a little box with Lena especially when a physical relationship like this exists between them.

Lena’s heart is as unattainable as the stars in the sky, and her interest in Kara only goes so far—it’s defined and established. This is just it for her, plain and simple. Kara’s chest feels hollow, like her heart is being constantly ripped out and put back together.

“Kara…” Lena arches a brow up. “That’s not how it works.”

“Wanna feel me up? I’ll even let you feel me up,” Kara grins, and she knows how shameless she sounds right now. At this point, all she wants is to be close to Lena like this and be distracted from all stress. “I know how much you like touching my muscles.”

Lena laughs, pauses. “That is way _beyond_ a goodnight’s kiss, darling.”

Kara flushes. Melts by the term of endearment. She wonders if she’ll ever go by without her heart swirling at it.

Slowly, Lena throws a leg over Kara’s thighs and settles herself on top of Kara’s lap. They face each other, faces close.

Kara reaches up, gently traces the lines and curves of Lena’s face: her cupid’s bow, her nose, her eyelids. She runs her thumb over Lena’s brows, imagines smoothing them out in her most frustrating moments. Imagines telling her not to worry, telling her that she’ll always pull through.

No, she doesn’t have to imagine these things.

What she _does_ imagine is falling asleep here every night—not because they’ve fallen together in their usual casual way, but because Lena wants her here.

Lena would never want her here, not like that. But for a moment, Kara lets herself pretend. And she knows this hurts, to be fooling herself, but it’s the only way she can get this close.

Despite the dim light casting over the room, the red lamp over them, Kara sees it. Pretty heterochromatic eyes, green and blue, locked on hers.

Kara’s thumb moves, brushing from the slope of Lena’s cheek down to the corner of her mouth, then sliding to the center of her lips. She presses down on Lena’s bottom lip lightly, parting her lips.

It’s the only way she can get this close.

Slowly, Lena leans in, and pauses when their mouths are mere millimeters away, warm breath mingling in the tiny space between them. Lena’s right hand slides around Kara’s head and under her hair, collecting the soft and wispy tendrils at the base of her neck before pulling lightly.

Then Lena closes the distance.

They kiss for a long time, the way they do when they’re a little drunk and relaxed. When Kara separates, Lena chases her mouth, and Kara stifles a whimper at it, deciding to indulge Lena.

She feels incredibly lightheaded already by just the taste of Lena’s mouth. The lingering faint taste of lip gloss, minty toothpaste, and something unmistakably sweet that’s just Lena.

They kiss necks and ears and throats and fingers but always come back to mouths, touch underneath robe and shirt but don’t make any move to take anything off. Lena likes it so much. Kara likes that she does. Likes the feeling of their hips together, chest pressed against each other, arousal swirling, and that not even mattering.

Lena just wants her to keep kissing her.

So Kara keeps going. She rolls them over and kisses Lena into the mattress. She kisses Lena until her hands take over and rub down Lena's chest and abdomen, until her ears are filled with the sound of heavy breathing and the slick sounds of their mouths. She kisses Lena until she groans low and beautifully.

Kara gives attention to all the places that usually get Lena a little noisier, eventually her hand moves to slide over Lena’s breast, kneading, to really get the reaction she’s after. Then she comes back to Lena’s mouth, and she feels how tender her own lips are getting, but she kisses her anyway.

There’s no wandering tongues but wandering hands. With the tie of Lena’s robe loosened, Kara warms over Lena’s shoulders beneath her robe, and squeezes at her sides. Lena’s rubbing over her throat and down her chest.

And just as promised, she lets Lena feel her up—Lena’s hands slipping underneath her shirt, skimming over skin, dragging slowly along her biceps to her abs. Kara flexes, and a quiet _fuck_ is murmured against her mouth.

Kara pulls back to catch her breath, her hand automatically reaching down to brush Lena’s few messy strands out of her eyes with one hand, and the other gently tracing her cheek.

Lena is so pretty, she feels like it’s something she realizes at least fifteen times a day. She thumbs over Lena’s jawline, presses in just the slightest bit before she leans down until her lips touch skin, only just briefly.

Lena looks at her with the most awestruck expression, and something about the way she’s smiling at Kara makes Kara’s heart thump wildly.

Really, it’s criminal for Lena to look at her like that. Because it makes her insides burn, and Kara wonders, briefly, how Lena would look like looking at someone who'd have her entire heart, her world.

“You’re so beautiful,” she whispers without thinking, and Lena’s breath hitches. She has said this before, often times already, but this time it feels a little different. It’s with the knowledge that she wants Lena, and for Lena to call her hers, and for some reason she feels a little frightened after saying it.

She’s worried that this will shift into another awkwardness, because that seems to be the trend lately, and that Lena will ask to stop this. Instead, Lena cups her cheeks and kisses her softly.

Seconds bleed into minutes before it starts to get heated and before Kara knows it, she feels her back hit against the mattress as Lena moves to straddle her thighs. Lena pushes Kara’s shirt up and licks and kisses her skin. It’s hot and wet and her mouth travels up slowly, to Kara’s throat, jaw, then to her mouth.

“Lena, too much clothes. Wanna feel you,” Kara murmurs against Lena’s lips, and Lena’s already helping her out of hers. Lena easily slips out of her garment after stripping Kara from her clothes, and once they’ve settled together, Lena stays hovering above Kara.

“So much for a goodnight's kiss, hmm?”

“You kept kissing me. Look how that turned out,” Kara says. Lena smiles, reaches down to tuck a stray lock of hair behind Kara's ear before letting her hand slip lower, curling around the back of Kara's neck. She leans down, presses a kiss to the corner of Kara's mouth, then drops another one on her jaw. “Still kissing me,” Kara points out, her thumb stroking the soft, tender spot on Lena's hip.

“Complaining?”

“No...” _You can do anything you want to me. I love you._ Kara bites her tongue. She pokes Lena's side, and Lena chuckles.

“Good.” Lena softly grasps Kara’s chin and she leans down, pressing her forehead against Kara’s. She kisses Kara once, twice. Then kisses her deeply, long and languid and breathless, and rears back. Beneath the veneer of lust there’s something vast and tender shining in Lena’s gaze, and it makes Kara feel kind of nervous then.

She doesn’t like it. It gives her mixed feelings, nothing that’s good for her.

It’s instances like this, when it’s just them and Lena’s looking at her— _only_ her—that brings Kara back to square one. Eyes always with that intensity and warmth that could make anyone feel the most special person in the world within just a certain look. That’s the kind of natural effect Lena Luthor has on everyone, Kara included especially.

It’s a lot, and Kara’s had enough of wondering.

“Come here,” she whispers, reaches up and slides her hand around the back of Lena’s head and pulls Lena in, kissing her deeply and wetly.

Kara tilts her head at an angle and Lena’s tongue slips into her mouth, and the feeling of Lena’s breasts brushing against hers is exhilarating. Her hands move down to Lena’s hips, holding them—she likes feeling the skin there, extra soft and tender.

She lets out a low groan, or more like a moan when Lena’s mouth starts kissing her throat, nipping and lightly biting down the column of her neck, moving to lick along the ridges of her collarbones, as Lena’s hand slides up over her breast, thumbing her nipple with pressure.

Kara feels Lena’s lips curl into a smile when she sighs Lena’s name breathlessly, the pressure of Lena’s palm over her breast increasing, squeezing and releasing again and again.

She tries to get up but Lena’s other hand is on her shoulder, holding her down when she makes small attempts to flip their positions.

This is fine, Kara supposes. Fantastic, even. Hot, that Lena is insistent on her staying down and making her feel good. She wraps an arm around Lena’s back, turns her head to the side to give Lena more skin.

“Lena,” she says quietly, when Lena sucks on her racing pulse point. Her hand flies to the back of Lena’s head to keep her in place when her teeth scrapes across the sensitive skin. Kara closes her eyes and Lena travels further down, mouth leaving a hot trail of kisses down to her abdomen, making flame leap in her stomach.

Lena hums, squeezes and releases Kara's chest. “Mm?”

“Feels good,” Kara sighs, her head digging against her pillow. She barely holds in a whimper when Lena’s other hand brushes slightly at her center, before going back to her inner thigh. “Kind of need you to touch me now, though,” she says, biting her bottom lip as arousal stirs in her system.

Lena’s voice is low and gravelly when she says, “I will. Just be a little more patient for me, Kara.” That promise is punctuated by the sensation of Lena’s teeth capturing the skin of Kara’s thigh, and the predatory smirk directed in Kara’s direction elicits a soft, quiet whimper from her.

Kara always loves the way in which Lena says her name. It sounds far better than usual in Lena’s mouth, and her lips look almost hypnotic as they utter the two syllables. During sex, that perception of Kara’s is heightened. She would die just to listen to Lena pronounce her name like this. Rao, she really would give her anything.

Lena meets her gaze again as she slowly makes her way to where Kara really, really needs her. When Lena finally reaches her clit, a shaky moan escapes from Kara’s mouth and she squirms, hands fisting white sheets.

“Lena. Lena,” Kara whispers, and Lena starts teasing her entrance with her finger, while licking and sucking at her clit. Kara’s head digs further against the pillow, her back arching and a wordless noise of pleasure falls from her mouth.

“Kara. Don’t close your eyes. Look at me,” Lena says, and Kara does.

Kara swallows and makes a breathy sound, her hand finding Lena’s hair. She doesn’t think she’ll ever get enough of seeing Lena like this. Lena’s head between her legs, indulging and pleasuring her, eating her out so good. Lena’s moving her tongue, licking and sucking, and it feels _so_ good and it’s all so much as her nerves light on fire and spark, bliss rippling through her —

It’s too much. All of it. The sights and sounds. The wet suction of Lena’s mouth. The heavy, steady gaze.

“Rao—Lena, baby,” Kara moans before she could stop herself. Green eyes are on hers, intense and so damn inviting. Lena’s eyes flutter, her other hand on Kara’s thigh tightening its grip, and something inside Kara makes her repeat it, her head dizzy with arousal. “Lena, baby, want your fingers inside me,” she murmurs, pleasure and need taking over her brain and thoughts.

And Lena doesn’t say anything. Instead she moans, so softly and low and it makes Kara have to hold back the urge to reach out and kiss her.

“You’d like that?” Lena asks then, blatant in her light teasing as two fingers make firmer strokes along her soaking entrance.

“Yeah—yeah, please. Yes,” Kara whimpers, and Lena uses this moment to slip her finger in. Her tongue glides against Kara’s clit and she sucks harder, as Kara bites her lower lip hard to keep herself from crying out. Another finger slips in, and Kara’s unable to hold back a shuddering moan this time.

Lena’s fingers feels so, so fucking good inside her but it’s not _enough_.

“Lena, I can—one more,” she breathes.

“Yeah?” Lena murmurs, voice low and breathless, her eyes steady on Kara’s as she works Kara up.

“Yeah, yeah, Lena,” she nods twice, sharply, “S’ good. So good, Lena, you’re doing so good.”

Lena moans against her clit at the praise, her dark eyes piercing into Kara’s. Kara knows how much Lena likes it when she tells her how well she’s doing, how amazing she's being, and Lena drinks it all up—the compliments and praises, easily melting at every word.

Lena obeys and pushes three fingers into Kara, and Kara exhales and swears breathlessly, the room quickly filling up with the obscene wet sounds of Lena’s fingers moving inside Kara and Kara’s breathing. She must be soaking wet because it slips in and out easily, and she doesn’t have time to marvel about how wet she is because Lena’s thrusts sends her into a frenzy, the thrusts going deeper and harder and faster as she curls them.

“Lena, fuck, Lena—holy shit,” she babbles, gasping raggedly, her back arching as a low, strangled noise rips its way out of her throat, “I’m already so close, baby, please, please—”

Each swipe of Lena’s tongue and each curl of her fingers sends sparks of white hot pleasure coursing through Kara, building Kara higher and higher until she can barely breathe. The feeling of Lena’s mouth working relentlessly between her legs has her thighs quivering and back arching up against the mattress, head pressing against the pillow as she moans out Lena’s name.

“God, Kara, you’re so wet and tight. That’s it, darling,” Lena murmurs thickly, urging Kara on, briefly replacing her mouth with her thumb. Kara’s heart stutters at the word and she swallows down, hand tightening in Lena’s hair. “Are you gonna come for me?”

All Kara can manage is a shaky “ _yeah_ ” before she comes in Lena’s mouth. Her eyes slam shut and her body shakes, and an unrestrained guttural moan slips past her mouth as Lena rides her out of her orgasm. There is just something in the way Lena knows just how to handle Kara, how she’s always so in tune with her.

Lena plants small kisses on her skin as she comes back up, as Kara takes a moment to recollect herself.

“Wow. That was…”

Lena presses a kiss to the edge of her jawline. “That was…?” Lena repeats in an inquiring tone, a smug smirk playing on her lips. Her pupils are dilated, heavy lust evident on her face, but her gaze is warm, settling over Kara like a lovely blanket.

Kara flushes.

“Really good,” she finishes. “Really, really good.” She cups at Lena’s cheek, pulls her in for a small, heated kiss, tasting herself in Lena’s mouth. She feels some of her slick heat coating Lena's chin and she rubs her thumb over it, wiping as she presses deeper into the kiss. “You're amazing.”

Then, when she makes a movement to switch their positions, Lena stops her.

“It’s fine like this,” Lena says, and grabs her hand, playing with her fingers. “I want to come like this, with your hand—”

“ _Oh_. Yeah, okay,” Kara says, voice shaky and steadies herself. Lena scratches lightly behind Kara’s ear and bucks herself into Kara’s hand.

Some of Lena’s hair sticks to her forehead with sweat, and her eyes look glassy and blown. She looks fucked out already, and Kara is sure she does as well. This is what sex between them does to the two of them. Kara has never had it like this with anyone before, and she doubts she ever will.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” Lena noses at Kara’s jaw as she breathes, makes a choked sound, and moans in Kara’s ear. There is something incredibly hot about Lena cursing, Kara thinks. Like this, her voice is deeper and raspier than usual, probably because of the arousal.

Foreheads pressed together, they look at each other from beneath hooded lids. Lena grinds into the press of Kara's fingers, slow and deep, and Kara feels herself getting turned on again just by the sight and the way Lena prettily moans in her ear.

“Kara. Kara, Kara,” Lena chants her name, her chest heaving and low whimpers deviating into a long, low moan. She's making such a mess on Kara's hand. Slick heat spilling all over Kara's fingers, palm.

Their faces are so close, noses almost touching.

It can’t only be Kara that feels like this. It can’t only be Kara whose heart swells once Lena’s eyes flutter open and their gazes meet. Kara makes a soft, quiet sound as she coaxes Lena on, marveling at how Lena’s eyes glisten, how her hair is all messy and tousled and her lips swollen and red as she loses herself in Kara.

“That’s it,” Kara whispers, swallows down as she watches Lena, her hand moving from Lena’s back right to her chest, over her heart. “That’s it, Lena... good girl. I've got you.”

Fingers tangle in her hair and Lena leans down, placing her mouth on Kara’s as she moves against her. Lena breathes as she presses their foreheads together, their eyes half-open, fixed on each other, so intimately immersed that it makes Kara’s heart squeeze every few beats.

It’s intimate and Kara feels a lot.

“Kara,” Lena’s breath is coming out fast against Kara’s mouth and Kara swallows every exhale, every whimper. “Kara, I, _ah—_ ”

“Yeah? Tell me,” Kara shivers, desperate to hear more. “Tell me, baby.”

“I’m, I’m going to—” The hands that are on Kara’s shoulders tighten its grip, nails spreading fire on skin. Then Lena’s body stiffens, shudders, and a low, soft moan stutters in her throat.

Lena slows down and comes to a stop.

She settles down on Kara with her weight, her whole body sweaty and hot, but Kara doesn’t mind. Lena stays boneless, sprawled on top of Kara for a few moments, catching her breath, before she nuzzles against Kara’s neck and presses a soft kiss over the array of bruises and bite marks Kara’s sure are decorating her skin.

“That was really, uh. Nice,” Kara whispers.

Lena hums, chest shaking as she chuckles softly.

The sex is great, because of course it’s great, because it’s always been great—they know how to take care of each other, and right now Kara tries to think with her hands because her mind is too focused on the way Lena looks up at her softly, gaze warm as she draws random patterns on Lena’s bare back. Air rushes from her lungs, because Lena is fucking beautiful in the afterglow. Kara has to bite her cheek to prevent something stupid slipping out.

And it’s all a little too much; Lena’s fingers clutched on her shoulder, Lena’s eyes half-closed but open enough to look at her, Lena whispering so softly, “Kara,” close to Kara’s skin—it’s all too much, and all Kara can do to cope is to keep going, make Lena feel good, to try to ignore the way none of this used to make her feel emotional like this.

Because she has to ignore it now, because it’s intimate and Kara feels intensely. It hurts. It hurts so much, and she’s trying to keep her emotions at bay.

The sex is good, and when it’s done, Kara lies there and thinks about wishing she wasn’t thinking. It’s quiet as she smooths a hand down Lena’s back. Emotions run rampage inside her; she kind of wants to cry, kind of wants to laugh, kind of wants to hide forever.

And she can’t help but think about what just happened.

She is so stupidly in love with Lena that she thinks her own feelings are starting to play tricks on her. Now, Kara has had a decent amount of fucking—before Lena, even though her relationships never quite lasted, but enough that she can call it decent. She has also done a decent amount of fucking with Lena.

But this feels different.

Kara pulls back her head a little, to get a better look at Lena. She watches Lena evening her breath out, watches the strong lines of her jaw and nose.

“Lena,” she says.

Lena responds by one hand moving to Kara’s mouth, one index placed against Kara’s lips. “Shush. Go to sleep now, Kara.”

Kara looks at Lena, then swallows her words down. Perhaps it’s best not to say anything.

Lena tucks her face into Kara’s neck once again, her hand laying rest over Kara’s chest. It’s too much, it’ll always be too much. It’s in the way in which Lena looked at her, or the way she called Kara _darling,_ or the way Kara placed her hand on Lena’s chest while bringing her to orgasm. It’s in how Kara accidentally called her baby, and Lena liked it.

Kara doesn’t think she’s fucking. Kara feels like they just made love. But of course, for Lena, it could never be that.

 

* * *

 

The morning comes and Kara finds herself getting dressed as Lena sleeps soundly in her bed. Kara’s in the living room, grabbing her belongings as she gets ready for work.

Kara is terrible at this thing called distancing and boundaries, she’s realized. No, she has known, it’s just that she realizes how awfully skilled she is at establishing a non-existent safeguard against Lena. She scrambles around in the room as she thinks about Lena sleeping peacefully in her bed. How is she supposed to numb things down and have a little more time for herself when she finds that she keeps doing the complete opposite: digging deeper and coming back full force?

No, what she wants is to take and take, whatever Lena wants to give to her. It’s just the hurt that she’s learning to deal with, becoming familiar with, having to shove it down down down in her throat.

At the last placing of the button of her shirt, Lena appears then, wearing only a large white shirt, half unbuttoned. She runs her hand through her tousled bed hair, looking sleep heavy but awake nonetheless.

“‘Morning…” Lena yawns, heading to the fridge and fills herself a glass from the water dispenser. “You’re awake early.”

“Yeah, uh,” Kara clears her throat, lights up her phone screen. Of course, Kara wasn’t going to leave without a smile and saying goodbye, but she hadn’t expected Lena to get up early. “You’re awake early, too.”

Lena hums, moving around in the kitchen. “It was cold in the bed without you.”

“Couldn’t sleep without your personal radiator?” Kara says, chuckling wryly as her eyes stick to her phone screen, scrolling down and reading through her emails. She tries not to sound bitter. “Lena, you’re getting too used to me being here. You shouldn’t.”

For several beats, there's only silence.

“You’re right,” Lena says.

Kara stops swiping at her phone and turns to look at Lena. The corners of Lena's lips tilt up in a rueful little smile.

“As much as I enjoy the benefits of having a warm Kryptonian at my side in my bed, you don’t have to worry about me getting comfortable. But you know, you're always welcome here anytime you want. I enjoy your company.” Lena emphasizes her very point with a flirtatious wink, lips pulling into an attractive smirk before taking a sip of her water.

Kara’s heart clenches painfully, and she tries to keep herself upright. Of course. When they have sex, it's just sex, and it's fun and stress-relieving and the likes. She pushes her glasses up her nose shakily.

“That’s… good to hear. Yeah, it’d be would be awkward if either of us started to. Get comfortable, I mean.” Then she hesitates, and the words are out before she knows it. “But—could it actually be such a bad thing?”

Lena stares at her then—setting her glass down. Her lips part and her eyebrows furrow in confusion. Kara knows Lena’s staring because she's staring right back. She waits for a few seconds, but then it bleeds into more seconds.

“ _Kara_ ,” Lena murmurs lowly, heavy with implication. Her voice is laced with a tenderness that makes Kara’s heart squeeze impossibly tight. “That's. I don’t…” she trails off quietly, sleep-heavy eyes now replaced with something else as she watches Kara carefully.

Kara stills at it. She averts her gaze, mouth tasting bitter. She’s not going to cry.

“Sorry. Relax,” she says, voice breathy, her chuckle coming off stilted. “Small offhand comment, didn’t mean anything by it.” Kara didn’t mean to suggest it, really, and quite frankly she knows she’s treading on ice thinner than ever.

“Yeah?” Lena asks.

“Yeah,” Kara says, trying to sound impartial. Because she’s supposed to be. That’s their whole deal. It’s always just sex in the end. No matter how many times Lena has kissed her against the kitchen counter, sweet and without expectations, or Kara pleasuring her in other nights—their relationship hasn’t changed.

She just wants to be desensitized to this sinking feeling, desperately needing to be numbed down from it, because now Kara has to pretend that each time she wakes up beside Lena and has to leave, all the things they do doesn’t mean anything to her the way it doesn’t mean anything to Lena.

Lena doesn’t make a movement, her face stony, eyes blank. But Kara hears the rapid beating of Lena's heart and it doesn't take a genius to connect the dots. She made Lena feel uncomfortable yet _again_ and placed them together at another standstill. Kara feels like a deer caught in headlights, but then again, that’s a feeling she’s becoming used to whenever she’s around Lena.

The strange tension in the air between them is back, stuffy and heavy. Lena isn’t saying nor showing much, and Kara isn’t accustomed to this, to this kind of quietness between them. She’s unsure of what to do.

Her own heart beats wildly in her chest and the energy in the silence is starting to feel suffocating.

She takes a deep breath—and exhales shakily.

“Kara?”

“I’m—I should get going.”

Kara stands up and shakily takes her wallet from the coffee table, making an abrupt exit, and the way Lena just lets her leave quietly without so much of a word or question… stings.

 

* * *

 

Two days pass, and Kara’s flooded with interviews and paperwork.

Alex had told her to stay away from her Supergirl duties, to take some time off a bit, so that’s what she’s been doing. Only because Alex badgered and trapped her inside her apartment yesterday, that Kara finally gave in. She found herself succumbing to her sister’s demands when Alex let out her Intimidating Sister Glare after she brought up Eliza's name. It also didn’t help that Alex was carrying a Chinese take-out box.

And so Kara’s promised to take a few days break. The DEO is still searching for the fourth Fort Rozz alien. Kara hopes they find him soon, or she’ll have to step back in, because she knows it won’t be long before he starts causing destruction in the city again.

But even without her cape on, her mind is constantly buzzing because of work and there’s always either a laptop or paperwork in front of her to fill with words. She doesn’t see how she looks like from Alex’s eyes, but she can guess.

Despite the welcome days off, her workload in CatCo doesn’t decrease at all. It’s a nice distraction, the workload Kara has been embracing, but it doesn’t soothe her often busy mind.

If Kara has to be honest, she feels relieved to see that there aren’t any messages on her inbox from Lena. She’s been expecting one or two, or maybe even a phone call. But there’s been none ever since she took off like that in the penthouse.

Perhaps what happened wasn't a big of a deal and Lena doesn’t care about it much. It was just a small awkward situation, something they both can forget and move on.

Yeah, that must be it. However, that thought doesn’t ease Kara’s mind.

It feels like the more time she spends with Lena, the more Lena comes to suspect the feelings she has for her. Kara has never really been great at hiding her feelings, she knows that. Her friends know that. Everyone around her knows that.

 

* * *

 

When you know something is going to happen, there's no point in being surprised by it once it does. Kara knew that it was coming.

 _It_ : blowing her powers from overuse and exhaustion.

The last Fort Rozz alien that she’s been looking for stands before her, spiteful and thirsty for revenge written all over his face as he stands over cracked concrete.

“Where did you take those _three_ ,” he seethes harshly through his teeth as he flexes his large, muscular arms and sticks out his chest as if to look all the more intimidating. “You and your mother, _what_ is with you two and imprisoning us? We just want to be free!”

Kara glares at him, hard.

“Free _and_ picking fights with anyone that so much as looks at you, and murdering them is not okay. It’s unacceptable on your planet and it sure is the same here,” she says, breathing heavily as she steadies herself against the wall. Kara knows that it’s useless to explain this, that the alien standing before her has no concept of fear and remorse. She’s read it in their files.

He shakes his head, face darkening.

“There are _rules_ here on this planet,” Kara says.

He growls at this, animal-like, and lunges forward with his fist. Kara dodges easily, but he’s on her again—a hit to her torso this time, then a fist crunching into her face. Blood splatters on the concrete and her ears start to ring unpleasantly.

Kara hits the wall with a loud thud, pain shooting everywhere in her body as she collides into the hard surface. There’s blood in her mouth as she scrambles to get up using one, functioning arm. Her right arm was snapped broken when she came into the violent ambush, and it’s only now that she starts feeling the excruciating pain.

Salt, she tastes in her mouth.

She hears dozens of people scrambling for safety, screaming, and cars honking and tires marking on concrete, but they all come out distorted in her hearing. It feels like she’s underwater.

Kara steadily waits for a voice to come through in her earpiece.

It’s not by far the first time Kara’s broken her arm. She cradles it close to her chest, sharp pain flooding her senses by the second, and if she lets everything continue on like this she knows she’ll pass out soon.

Legs unsteady, they trade vicious blows. The Fort Rozz alien’s opening and closing his mouth, but Kara can’t make out his words. Her vision starts to fade in and out, and soon all background noises become fully distorted.

Another direct blow connects to her stomach, and her knees give in before she even realizes it.

She hears someone shout her name before she blacks out.

 

* * *

 

Kara wakes up and immediately regrets opening her eyes, shifting around in her spot when she comes to her senses.

She sucks in a sharp breath as pain flares everywhere in her body alongside an uncomfortable pressure on her arm. Under a sun lamp, she quickly diverts her eyes away to someplace less brighter. There’s a white cast and sling on her right arm, restricting arm movement.

Kara groans to herself, loud.

“Kara!” Alex enters the room just in time, eyes wide and already she’s at Kara’s side. “God, you were reckless out there—when I said steer clear of your Supergirl duties and rest, I meant give yourself a week’s break while at it! Not hunt that alien down and lose your powers. It hasn’t even been that long.”

Her sister hovers around her, re-doing her observations and checkups. Kara lets her as she pouts to the ceiling.

“It just happened… I ran into him on my way to Noonan’s to meet with Nia. He’s the one who hunt me down. Really. He knew who I was,” Kara sighs. “I was tracked by smell. Their kind, Alex, they have—”

“I know,” Alex mutters, eyebrows furrowing as she reaches down for Kara’s wrist, pressing down two fingers on her skin. “I’m sorry I didn’t get there in time, not so sorry about how much Brainy and I roughed him up after we found you. You did a great job at stalling.”

“I knew you guys would come soon. I was supposed to meet Nia—where is she now?”

“She’s the one who got to you first, actually. A minute earlier than we did. She’s back at CatCo, busy with her work.”

Alex watches her closely, frown on her face deepening. Rao, Kara can guess what’s running through Alex’s mind and she hates having to make her sister fill with worry every time she lands herself in the med bay room.

“I’m okay now, thanks to you guys,” she says, her voice hoarse and raspy. She clears her throat, looks down to her other arm where Alex has her wrist on hold with her fingers. A smile cracks open. “You know, I figured out why doctors and nurses do that. They don’t actually check for your pulse rate, they count for respirations.”

Alex’s blinks then, breaks into a disbelieving chuckle as she shakes her head. “ _Kara, geez_. Way to lose my counting. I’m giving you something for the pain and nausea. You’re also running a low fever, and...” she babbles on, telling Kara what she can and can’t do, and the details about her arm.

“How bad is it?”

“Pretty bad, but it’ll heal. Thanks to the sun lamp the swelling went down pretty quick, so we were able to put a cast and sling on you.”

Her cast makes her arm itch terribly. Wincing, Kara asks, “Will I have to stay here longer under the lamps? _Alex.._.”

“Regardless of that puppy look, luckily for you, no. It took us an hour to fix you up and you've been asleep under this lamp for almost two hours now. Yeah, you’re free to go home as long as you follow the Doc’s orders.” Alex chuckles fondly, nodding her head. She grabs the safety bed side rail, places them down now that Kara’s awake. Then for a moment, she looks at Kara. Her eyes flits over Kara’s face. “I’m sorry, I still have work to do around here so I called Lena up to have you a moment ago. To take you home, I mean, since—”

“Wait, you _what?_ ” Kara’s eyes widen as she jerks up straight, a whimper escaping from her lips. The sudden movement causes a jolt of pain in her sides, and her face twists into a wince.

That wasn’t necessary, why would Alex—? Panic fills Kara’s mind and the first thing that pops up in her head is their last interaction. Which wasn’t so great, it was awkward and horrible, and she’s pretty sure that the abrupt exit she took that morning left them both at an even more odd grounding. And that Kara might need to do some real explaining soon face to face —

“Kara, don’t suddenly move like that!” Alex pins her down, hands on her shoulders as she berates the Kryptonian. Kara stops moving, stares up at the ceiling as she worries her bottom lip between her teeth. “Yes, Lena is on her way. Jeez,” Alex says, huffing once Kara’s settled down. An impressed smirk forms on her lips. “You should’ve seen how it happened. That woman dropped absolutely everything she had going on for her the moment I said you got hurt and needed taking care of.”

“ _Needed taking care of_?” Kara sputters, eyes blinking fast. “Did you _have_ to word it that way—I don’t even need to be taken care of!”

“I’ll never forget how fast she ended the call as soon as she agreed to come. I didn’t even get to voice my appreciation.” Alex rambles on with a wide grin, too lost in amusement as she stares into space, steadily ignoring Kara.

She checks her phone, dissolving into laughter and snorts. But it isn’t funny. Kara isn’t laughing.

Kara frowns, fiddling on the material of her blanket.

“What, are you mad? Why do you seem unhappy?” Alex notices then, and plants her hands on her hips. “I thought you’d be happy to have Lena coming to pick you up.”

“You could have asked Brainy, why Lena? Lena is a busy woman, Alex. My injuries aren’t even that bad...”

“Are you kidding, do you see yourself right now? And no, I have Brainy’s hands tied on cleaning up today’s mess.” Baffled, Alex squints at her, head tilting to the side. “What’s gotten you so tangled up? Sure, Lena is a busy woman like all of us, but now I’m getting the feeling that there's something more to that. Kara, it’s just Lena. It’s not like this is the first time that she’s coming for you.”

Kara closes her eyes for a brief moment and presses her lips together. “Um, things have been a bit weird between us. My fault, mostly,” she says, face twisting into a pained look. Alex waits for her to elaborate, but before she thinks of starting, her mouth shuts tight when she hears the sharp clicking of high-heels echoing in the empty hallway just outside her room.

“Oh. Your girl’s finally here.” Alex’s brows shoots up, and she directs a small helpless smile towards Kara.

Great. Fantastic. Kara absolutely did not want this.

Really, why did Alex choose Lena? She could have just called J’onn, or get Winn who’s most likely somewhere in this building to take her home. Not call a woman who has important, world-changing meetings every day, dealing with high profiles by the hour, dorking out in her lab whenever she has free time for herself.

Kara shrinks in her bed, raising her blanket up to her chin and hopes the ground swallows her whole.

Then the door slides open and Kara sees a pink-cheeked, slightly flustered-looking Lena Luthor. Her usual perfect ponytail is a little messy, some hairs sticking out, but she still looks the wonderful and breathtaking human that she is.

 

-

 

Lena moves into Kara’s space and reaches out to her seatbelt, clicking it into place. Still feeling drowsy and sluggish, Kara’s body lures her into sleep. It takes her a moment to realize what just happened, to register the clicking of the seatbelt. She rouses when Lena pulls back to her own seat, the ends of her hair brushing Kara’s knuckle as she does so.

They haven’t said anything much to each other, other than small utters of _careful, is this okay, take your time_ , _hold onto me_ , throughout their way to the carpark. Lena’s using her personal car, Kara has just noticed.

She sighs quietly; she’s fond of the air freshener in Lena’s car. The mixed smell of something soapy and citrus—the light quality to it that is _just_ right, which is not too faint or strong that it doesn’t overwhelm the nose.

“We’re going to mine,” Lena says, eventually as she stops at the red light. She pauses, finger tapping on the wheel. “If that’s okay? Otherwise we’ll head to yours.”

Kara flushes, her hand fiddling on her seatbelt. “To yours,” she murmurs, looking out to the window.

Lena nods. “To mine it is, then.”

 

* * *

 

No matter how many times it has happened in the past, it always catches Kara off-guard—the way Lena treats her like a priority whenever a situation arises surrounding her.

Like, above all else, she’d just want to make sure Kara's okay and happy and comfortable. She _is_ a priority. Kara shouldn’t be surprised, really, but she can’t help but always be taken back by this information, so she dodges around and quells her often quickly beating heart.

It’s a struggle, however.

“You know I’m okay, you really don’t have to take the rest of the day off. Alex was being dramatic. You should go back to L-Corp, I’ll just sleep all day.”

Lena has an arm around her waist and a hand on her shoulder as she steadies Kara to sit on the couch. She hasn’t left Kara’s side throughout their way here, and Kara _has_ noticed the sneaking glances when Lena thinks that Kara isn’t looking.

Lena watches her closely, and Kara blushes under her gaze. Standing up, Lena disappears for a quick moment before she comes back and offers Kara a glass of water. Shyly, Kara takes the glass gratefully with a soft utter of _thank you_ and avoids eye contact with Lena. Beside Kara is a blanket, which Lena grabs and drapes it over Kara's shoulders.

The strange tension in the air between them lingers and Kara _hates_ it.

“Kara,” Lena says.

“Yes?”

“I—The way we left off earlier, did I say something that…” Lena shakes her head. “Did I upset you?” she asks, heading straight into it, completely ignoring what Kara said earlier. Despite coming off straightforward, her tone is soft and uncertain.

So she _has_ been thinking about it.

“What? No,” Kara says too quickly, snapping her gaze back up and internally cringes by the way she blurts it out. She panics, heart racing because the last thing she wants is for Lena to think that something’s wrong, that she’s done something wrong. “It isn’t like that.”

Lena shakes her head, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “Then why does it feel like—” Lena pauses then, looking as if she's carefully considering her next few words. She sighs. “It feels like things have been weird between us. It _is_. And when you left, that wasn't... very you.”

She looks genuinely worried and it makes Kara’s heart hurt, because it seems as if Lena’s been thinking that she did something wrong. She’s worried about their friendship but Kara doesn’t think there’s a single thing that could take her away from Lena’s side.

It’s why it’s okay to love Lena easily, because it means so much to her how much their friendship means to Lena.

“No. _Rao_ , no. You didn’t do anything wrong, Lena. I promise.” Kara looks down at her hands, frantically thinking what to say. It’s all on her and her dumb feelings, and for the thousandth time Kara wishes she knew how to squish her feelings down.

Lena sighs.

There is a long beat of silence before Lena says, “I'm sorry, we don’t have to talk about this now. You’re unwell.”

They’re going to have to, eventually—soon. Lena isn’t the type to engage and entertain these strained notions, further allowing the blurring and cloud flooding in the air between them. Kara’s surprised it lasted this long.

Lena’s eyes drift down to Kara’s cast and sling. Her face softens. “Alex gave me your medications. I’ve cleared work from CatCo for you for a whole week, so don’t worry about work.”

Kara nods, touching her glasses using her better hand. “That’s… thank you,” she says sincerely, embarrassed but feeling extremely grateful as she looks at Lena. She had forgotten about CatCo. She was also supposed to meet with Nia in the morning, and she hasn’t even texted the younger woman to thank and give her an update. Rao, she feels so messy at this moment.

Past weeks of accidents and emergencies had her super-speeding and flying from country to country dealing with all kinds of suspicious and malicious activities. When she had time for herself, it was facing article deadlines after deadlines, and both roles simultaneously worked together, effectively draining her energy out.

She had overextended herself and today’s attack proved it when she blew out her powers to defend herself.

Kara looks down and sees Lena in her perfect down-to-business work attire, her black coat over her royal blue three piece suit, hugging her frame perfectly.

“The day’s just started. Again, Lena, you don’t need to stay. I’m not very good company right now… and I’ll probably just sleep through the day.”

Really, it’s true. Kara isn’t sure why Lena’s still here, now that she’s home and settled—not that she’s being ungrateful. At Lena’s home, she means. It’s just unnecessary. Completely unnecessary, and lots of precious time is being wasted every second that Lena is still here.

She knows what Lena’s been up to, knows that the woman has been busy working on heavy projects alongside several prototypes that involve a number of promising new tech, looking to set medical advances once approved and released into the public.

“I’m not looking for a good company,” Lena lightly admonishes, arches a dissenting brow up.

For some reason, something inside Kara flips. The words Lena said to her earlier, about her enjoying Kara's company in a different light flashes in her head.

“ _Really_?” Kara says, the word coming out dicey and sharper than she planned for.

Lena frowns, eyebrows furrowing—a mix of heavy surprise, confusion, and hurt etching across her features. Kara immediately wants to take it back.

“I’m so sorry. That came out of nowhere.” Kara pauses. Takes a shaky breath. Bitter and cranky aren't a good look on her. She runs a hand through her hair in frustration. “That was… very crappy of me. We’re more than that.”

She just wants to tell her that she’s fine, that Lena should leave her alone, but her eyes are burning and her nose is runny and her body aches and she’s tired and she knows full well that she doesn’t look fine.

Lena studies Kara closely. “We are,” she says quietly, and leans in closer. “It’s okay.” There is uncertainty to the quality of her movements, displayed in the way she wrings her hands over her knee. “I can see that you’ve been feeling stressed… take a moment for yourself, okay? It’s just you and me here.”

Kara nods with a small smile, bowing her head low in embarrassment.

“I know that Alex is the most important person in your life,” Lena says, voice low and soft, eyes seeking Kara's. She tucks Kara's hair behind her ear. “I just want you to know that... you’re the most important one, in mine. Of course I’m going to want to stay here until you feel much better.” She wets her lips, gaze searching Kara’s face. Her long fingers move to play at the fabric of her shirt, fidgety. “I was really worried about you. Still am. I just want you to give yourself a long moment to stay still and rest, Kara.”

Her words pull at Kara’s heartstrings, warmth blossoming in her veins, flushing her skin pink. The sight of a flustered Lena, eyebrows raised up in a way that softens her eyes and her lips parted gently. Kara folds her legs closer to herself and tries to swallow down the hummingbird rhythm in her chest.

“You complain about me overworking myself often, but look at you,” Lena murmurs, raking a hand through her hair as her lips thin, obviously displeased with what’s happened to Kara.

“Lena, I’m—I’m sorry, again, for what I implied earlier. That was really, really mean and awful… Yeah I think—things are just catching up to me,” Kara says, eyes closing and takes a deep breath. She feels her headache getting worse by the minute and brings a hand up, rubbing her forehead.

“It's okay,” Lena says, softly. “You're forgiven.”

“It’s. It's just everything these past weeks.”

Lena leans forward and slowly wraps Kara into a hug, her movements extremely careful around Kara’s injuries. Her hand rubs soothing circles on Kara’s back in the gentle, warm way she always does whenever she wraps her arms around Kara. Her thumb presses and strokes lines, making Kara feel lighter. Kara sighs and melts into it, tucking her face in Lena’s neck.

Then Lena lets out a shuddering sigh and her hold on Kara tightens. Lena must’ve been terrified, and Kara feels her chest squeeze. She makes a note to scold Alex later for delivering the phone call the way she did to Lena later.

“I’m okay, I’m here. I’m fine,” Kara whispers, letting Lena pull her closer to her even though it’s starting to get much.

“Sorry,” Lena says, pulling back. “Is there anything I can do? Anything?”

“It feels like I could sleep for the next 48 hours. You being here is enough… even though you don’t have to be.”

Lena shakes her head. “Always,” she says, unfaltering.

Kara flushes.

In truth, there’s really no place Kara would rather be right now. She just feels ashamed of her current weak state, icky over the past crappy weeks.

“You’re both my most important people—you and Alex,” she corrects after a moment, in a low voice. She sees the bob of Lena’s throat, and looks up to see those lovely heterochromatic eyes flickering over her face. “I’m glad Alex called you to pick up your ridiculous little alien.”

“Of course. What are friends for?” Lena says, just as quietly in the space between them. “You’re not ridiculous. A little reckless, but never ridiculous.”

Kara smiles wryly.

Friends. Lena, her friend who scoops her up, takes her into her home and showers her with an abundant amount of tender-loving care.

Lena is irresistible, impossible not to love.

To an outsider, Kara knows the implications that this has, sees how it looks. But to them it’s nothing bizarre and neither find it an unseemly act, because there is this gentle intimacy that exists between only them.

Things change, but no matter what's been happening between them, nothing has truly changed—they’re still Kara and Lena, Lena and Kara, and they'll always have this.

For a moment they hold each other’s gaze.

Kara relaxes and pulls up the blanket Lena wrapped around her shoulders earlier before, when she settled onto the couch. She is here in Lena’s penthouse and Lena is right in front of her. _Home_ , Kara thinks.

The light shining through the balcony windows is so bright and radiant that Kara’s attention shifts to how the ray of light reflects on Lena’s face, how it dances lethargically around Lena like a thousand little stars. Lena, Kara thinks, looking like the center of Kara’s own little universe.

Sometimes, Kara really wants to tell Lena how sure she is that Lena is the best person in this world along with Alex. There’s no competition here. Kara wants Lena to know that she still can’t believe that Lena willingly spoils her with so much of her attention and affection, how Lena chose Kara to be able to touch her whenever she wants, that she’s the one to be able to make her tremble and gasp almost every week.

Still, even if she’s brave enough to say something, what could she say without her words sounding like warning signs and red flags at this point? She’s been fucking things up.

_Lena, I think you’re so special?_

_I think no one really deserves you? Least of them myself?_

Even though those questions swirl around Kara’s head frequently, she feels strangely content at this moment, so in undeniable love with this star cluster of a human that she feels as if she could suffocate on the flowers Lena makes bloom inside of her.

Loving Lena is easy, even when it’s hard.

Instead, she settles again on, “Thank you, Lena.” A small pause. “You’re so good to me,” she adds, lamely.

“You’re so good to me, too,” Lena replies, an eyebrow arching up, her eyes amused.

Kara blushes, fixes her glasses.

“So,” Lena says, standing up. She shrugs her coat and suit off, takes her phone out. “You must be starving. Eat something first before you sleep? I’ll get us some food—what do you want? Anything, I’ll get it for you.”

Kara purses her lips in thought. “Potstickers.”

“I should’ve known,” Lena says, sighing lightly. An undisguised soft fond smile curves Lena’s mouth, and after three beat of silence, she adds, “Do you need or want anything else before I make the call?”

Kara shifts in her seat, feels long wisps of blonde hair sticking to her neck. She’s feeling a little hot and sweaty. Looking at Lena shyly, she scratches at her neck using her free hand as her tongue darts to wet her lips, another request building as she thinks on it.

“Lena? Can you tie my hair up for me, please?”

Lena arches an eyebrow, head tilting a little. “Ponytail or a bun?”

Kara shrugs. “You decide.”

“A bun it is,” Lena nods, and Kara flushes further, stomach flipping when Lena’s smile softens in her direction.

Sliding behind Kara and the couch, Lena pulls a hair tie out of her wrist—one that looks suspiciously similar to Kara’s thin black ones—and spreads her warm hands over Kara’s shoulders.

“You’re always stealing my hair ties,” Kara accuses without bite, fingers twitching on her lap when Lena’s hand makes a brush against the nape of her neck.

“And you always let me,” Lena says, her hands rubbing Kara’s shoulders warmly before gathering her hair up into a bun. Kara keeps still as Lena murmurs things behind her, _your hair always feels so soft and lovely, does that hurt, is this too tight._

There is something calming about listening to Lena’s voice. Unlike her physical appearance, Lena’s voice is just the same as always—deliciously deep and soothing.

This comfort, this warmth—that’s home, Kara thinks.

 

-

 

She’s alone in Lena’s bed when she starts crying.

Lena is currently working in the living room after having kept Kara company most of the day, helping her out whenever she needed help with anything, murmuring soft reassurances when she had trouble with things, and having normal conversations about everything and nothing in between.

Kara isn’t entirely sure of what sparked it, or why _now_ of all times, but emotions and thoughts whirl inside her as she covers her eyes with her good arm.

In the silence, at first it’s only just a few tears that roll down her cheek. But then she thinks of Lena. The more she thinks about her situation with Lena, the more she makes herself hurt. The more she thinks about every single interaction she had with Lena, every single memory ever since they started doing… being _this_ , and how they both hold such a contrasting significance for both of them.

To Kara, every moment is an assemblage of reasons to fall deeper in love. To Lena… their physical relationship—to _Lena_ , it’s just something to do in between everything else, a bit of fun, something to bask in, to relieve stress from the weight of being Lena Luthor.

Through their friendship, Lena has always kept separated sex and friendship at full length as in the end it’s always just sex and it doesn’t matter much to her.

There were never really any boundaries between them—never anything set. That’s been the case here, because at the start both knew that they would never be anything more than what they already are—no strings attached in the sense of having no expectations of a relationship. It’s cemented; they’re... stationary parked planes not going anywhere.

Lena said they wouldn’t be together, but Kara was greedy still, and thought she could handle it.

It’s Kara’s own fault, and that’s what makes her hurt the most. Her lips tremble as her silent cries starts to turn into sobs, to the point where she feels like she _can’t breathe_.

After spending the day with Lena… it just makes her think things again.

It’s strange, how things find themselves in the night, how things fall apart in the dark. The room is illuminated only by the tiny lamp stuck to the left wall, which had been turned on by Lena before she left.

Kara thought it would hurt less to have Lena physically, even if Lena didn’t like her back. But what she feels right now is worse than she was anticipating. Kara is stupid, and naive, and too much of a dreamer for her own good. Nia had warned her about this.

And earlier, the way Lena thought she did something wrong to Kara, looking incredibly tensed and concerned, trepidation seeping from her face—it was devastating to see. Lena didn’t do anything wrong—never did anything wrong, because it’s always Kara’s feelings that keep interfering.

Lena might be okay with what they have, but Kara can’t actually handle it.

Everything is just pouring out; she understands that she got herself in this situation in the first place, and now all she can do is feel sorry for herself and her poor little broken heart. All she can do now is cry, cry, and cry.

Kara stays in her spot, stifling her movements and noises, squeezing her eyes shut as she desperately hopes that Lena wouldn’t come in anytime soon.

 

-

 

Later at night when they’re both on the balcony gazing into the city view and stars, Kara turns to face Lena.

She had fallen asleep after wiping all her tears and woken up fifteen minutes ago, feeling a little sleep heavy and in need of fresh air. Kara has Lena’s blanket wrapped around her body, guarding her from the chilly night.

Lena notices Kara staring at her, tilts her head to the side and watches her back. A talk is in order, but it can wait a little longer.

Kara hesitates. That’s the trend.

But then she finds her voice, and when the words come out it’s almost like a whisper. She can at least say this.

“I love you, Lena.”

A beat of silence later, and the corner of Lena’s mouth tilts up in a smile, her face lighting up.

It’s small, but it’s a look of pure adoration, warmth, and intimacy—and it’s terrifying because it’s things like this that makes Kara’s heart hurt so bad that she has to touch her chest to make sure it isn’t breaking open to release the pain building up inside of her. It rips her apart inside, floods her with more longing, makes her crave for someone so wonderful, so lovely—yet unattainable.

“I love you, too, Kara,” Lena replies.

Kara’s heart shatters and reassembles itself. For once, she needs to start protecting herself, she thinks.

Things change, but not this.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is my Baby, my first ever fic & hand at writing & icb i've written almost 100k words for it. genuinely surprised i’ve gotten this..... far. thanks for keeping up & reading!
> 
> my [tumblr](https://coffeeshib.tumblr.com/) & [twitter](https://twitter.com/coffeeshib)


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